This Woman's Work
by Samsara Dallire
Summary: Tragedy strikes Nick. While Grissom and Sara try to solve the mystery, Nick embarks on a dangerous journey to finish what was started. Rated M for violence and adult situations. Complete.
1. Chapter 1

**THIS WOMEN'S WORK**

_A tragedy strikes Nick and the only way he copes is by finding out why!_

_**Story type: Angst/Tragedy/AU**_

**_Characters: Nick Stokes and the team._**

_**Rated M for mature subject manner and violence.**_

_**Disclaimer**: All the characters, songs, and references do not belong to me, but I thank them dearly for their use._

_**A/N**: All mistakes are mine. I haven't been able to track down a beta, am willing to take volunteers if anyone is willing. _

_I did as much research on foresnics as I could, but I'm sure there are big mistakes. I'm still learning folks. Be gentle with me in your reviews._

_Pray God you can cope.  
I stand outside this woman's work,  
This woman's world.  
Ooh, it's hard on the man._

_Kate Bush-This Women's Work_

A gaping skull looked up at him, jaw slack, teeth missing.

It was after 2 a.m. on a chilly night in the Nevada desert as shivering Nick Stokes tied a red checkered kerchief around his mouth and knelt down with brush in hand to smooth away the sands carefully.

"Can you just shine that light a little closer to me? Smith. Thanks."

Narrow hipbones dictated that the remains were that of a female. Nick knew that much, then carefully scanned the rest of the 'body', narrowing in on something rather shiny adjacent to the remains.

It still foundered Nick how cold this damn desert could get. Who'd a think of it?

Just then his attention to details was interrupted by the sounds of a vehicle crunching to a stop. A siren beeped out.

Everyone at the site looked up and saw Conrad Ecklie and Gil Grissom get out of the black Yukon Denali their faces looking grave.

Nick's heart skipped a beat.

_Was he in trouble? If so it must have been damn serious for the two of them to come out to a crime scene._

He stood up and pulled the kerchief down to his neck.

"What's up?" He asked as his two superiors approached him. They looked at one another grimly before Grissom motioned Nick to come to the other side of the side of the truck and then ordered Greg Sanders to take over the DB. The younger CSI looked surprised to be put in charge of such a scene so early in his fledgling career. He dove in with enthusiasm.

Nick went behind the vehicle, arms folded and body in a stance ready to be berated but instead these words were speaking to him.

"Nick." Grissom told him. "There's been an incident at your home. You need to come with us immediately"

Civilian cars moved to the right to make way for the Denali, sirens on full wail.

Nick sat tightly in the back seat of Grissom's Denali staring at the backs of the heads of his superiors. Gulping in deep breaths to will himself not to grab Grissom and demand what the hell was going on!!! What had happened? All he was told was to get into the backseat and go with them to his house. Immediately.

Nick was used to seeing the yellow _Crime Scene _tape cordoned around a house, but around your own home panic grips you. Grissom was still stopping the Denali when Nick leaped out, breaking through throngs of onlookers as he made his way to the front door where Jim Brass and a uniform stood.

They tried stopped him, "No Nick, you can't go in there just yet. Doc Robbins will come get you." The balding cop told him gruffly.

Nick pushed the two officers aside and started again racing towards the house. Officers standing nearby blocked his way.

"Let me in!!!" He yelled angrily.

"Nick, I'm sorry you can't come in at that moment." The officer and his partner blocked.

He pushed them aside. They didn't try to catch him. It was Nick Stokes after all. Long time friend.

Nick's brain screamed with questions as he raced towards the mahogany front door of the small, detached bungalow he'd been residing in for the past two years.

The familiar bearded face of Doc Robbins appeared behind a body bag laid out on a gurney pushed by two coroner's assistants, the outline of the body in the bag familiar only to someone who knew it intimately. They gently brought it down the stoop and began to wheel it towards the van.

Nick's heart thumped madly as he looked straight at the Doc hoping for some sign of assurance that a mistake had been made, but they weren't there.

"Whose in the bag Doc?" Nick asked voiced edged on a stream of panic.

"Nick, you're going to need to stay calm." Doc hated this moment more then any other in his long career.

"Whose in the goddamn bag?!" Nick cried out angrily, eyes filled with fear and panic.

Doc sighed heavily and slowly unzipped the bag and braced himself for the reaction.

Catherine then appeared out of the door upon hearing Nick's voice

Nick peered in, and looked up at Doc, his face ashen then turned away, one hand gripping his stomach. He stumbled off the step onto the purple Impatiens lined against the house and collapsed to the ground and retched violently

It was his wife. Regine LeBourdais Stokes. Dr. Regine Stokes. Renowned veterinarian. Community Activist. Animal Advocate. Loved by many. Hated by as many.

Doc hastily zipped up the bag ordering the interns to get it to the morgue as quickly as possible while Catherine ran with lightening speed to the man crouched next to a tiny stone statue of a rabbit. She dropped to her knees to the ground beside Nick gathered him into her arms, whispering comforting words into his ears as his body heaved with shock and grief.

Gil Grissom stood by and stared out at the commotion of police cars, and media that had come to put Nick's grief on spectacle for all of Vegas to see. He stormed over to Ecklie standing between Brass and Sofia standing by helplessly, tears forming in their eyes.

"Can you get the dogs outta here? This isn't a soap opera for all of Vegas to see." Grissom demanded keeping his voice poised.

Ecklie's head nodded abruptly and he made a rapid retreat to the reporters, cameras quickly snapping away, "Folks, may I ask that you move over to the other side of the road and let us do their job. Any questions are to be directed at myself and myself only."

Satisfied that Ecklie was back in his comfort zone, Grissom headed back to the house, Nick was still slumped in Catherine's arms. She was rocking him gently. Lights from sirens and cameras reflected off the _FORESNICS _lettering on his jacket. Gasps sounding like, "No, God, No!" came from the shocked man.

"Nick," Catherine whispered, "Just hang tight.."

Tears streaked down her face as she comforted her friend. Grissom knelt down in front of them.

"Nick?" Grissom began then stalled before continuing, "Do you want to go to the hospital?"

Nick continued sobbing and then mumbled, "No."

"Someone is going to call your parents. Okay?"

The Texan sat up a bit and nodded.

"I…I have to call her parents..they're in Canada..Quebec.." He stuttered.

Catherine put her hand on his shoulder, "I can do that Nick."

He shook his head, "I need to be the one to do it."

Nick started to get onto his feet, Grissom and Catherine helped him.

"Nick," Grissom said, "Let's go back to the lab and we can do everything there. Okay?"

Nick nodded, tears streaming down his cheeks then stopped, "The pets."

Grissom nodded, "I've had Sara take care of that. Don't worry."

Catherine watched as Grissom quickly led Nick into the Denali with Ecklie following the two.

HOURS EARLIER.:

Catherine had been the first at the scene. When initially given the address, she hadn't put two and two until she drove up the street to the house.

Strolling quickly thinking someone had broken into Nick's home and Regine had shot him. She walked through the front doors, noticing the grave expressions on the officers' faces as they nodded to her.

"Neighbours called in a 911, the dogs were outside barking like mad. Highly unusual for them. Cops on the scene found that the door was opened and when they came in, they

found her there."

"Where's Nick!" Catherine managed to blurt out.

"In the desert somewhere, Grissom's bringin' him." Brass stammered out hoarsely.

In the master bedroom laid Regine LeBourdais Stokes, spread-eagle on the queen-sized bed, t-shirt above up to her neck. Her battered and bloodied nude body for all the world to see. Hands bound up and over her head.

Doc Robbins hovered over her taking her liver temp.

"She's been dead about an hour now. Rigor morteous hasn't set in yet." He told the officers stoically.

Catherine snapped pictures as she asked, "Can we do a scoop and run before Nick gets here."

"We need him to ID the body Catherine."

"Can't that be done at the morgue? In fact this NEEDS TO BE DONE AT THE MORGUE."

"I suppose," Robbins sighed as he motioned his attendants to bring in the gurney, "You know the morgue is not a place for grief Catherine."

"And this is not a scene for Nick to see!" Catherine retorted angrily.

Sara Sidle walked in and shuddered, "Oh Good God!!!!"

Once the photographs were done on the DB, Doc had his interns begin to move the body from the bed to a waiting body bag. Catherine averted herself away from the frightened, lifeless eyes of Regine Stokes.

She was placed gently into the body bag which was sipped up, and strapped.

As she was beginning to be wheeled out, she could hear Nick outside. Slinging her camera around her neck, Catherine made her way out the door through the sea of bodies of police officers, detectives and was greeted by snapping camera from the other side of the line.

By that time, Stokes was hunched over by some tiny statues of rabbits heaving. She knelt down beside him, taking his trembling body into her arms and rocking him like she often rocked her own distraught daughter at times.

Now Catherine and Warrick snapped photographs of the bedroom where the body of Nick's wife was discovered.

This attack was personal and given the fact there was no signs of forced entry meant that Regine knew her killer. That much was deducted from the first once over they gave the house.

Blowing a strand of blonde hair out of her face, the Criminalist focused her attention on the blood soaked bed and its surroundings. Blood splatters were on the side table, the covers. The knife wound poured blood down the side of her neck, forming a blood pool on the floor.

"The struggle appeared to start at the backdoor." Catherine said, eyes gazing around, "Regine heard the dogs barking out in the backyard, probably went to check what it was and that's how our guy got into the house.." Her voice trailed off.

Warrick looked at her, "Sure it was a him?"

The gangly CSI walked over to Nick's side of the room. He could tell not just because of the manly products lined on his bureau. Unlike hers, it was neat, tidy and organized. Everything was in its right place.

Catherine pulled the comforter down, turned switched on the ALS.

With a steady hand, she scanned the sheets, comforts, switched it off and told Warrick,

"There's semen on the fitted sheet just to the right of the blood stains." She announced hopeful.

Warrick looked up and mumbled, "Just a heads up, they were trying for another baby."

Catherine raised her eyebrows, "We'll take it to the Lab anyways, and maybe our killer got sloppy."

Catherine pulled out the bags and shoved them in. Not before noticing something odd.

Out of the corner of her eye, she noticed a pattern on the wall.

"Warrick, do you see that outline there?"

Warrick studied it for a moment, "Looks like a picture was there."

Catherine thought for a moment and headed back to the living and looked over the couch.

"Yeah, I got another one out here. Were these expensive paintings that she owned Warrick?"

"I don't think they were pricey enough to be considered motive. They were prints of some Canadian artist who painted animals for a living."

"Are we sure they weren't originals?"

Warrick shrugged, "Don't know, just going by what she told me at the last dinner that Tina and I had with them. Tina was a bit freaked by the realism of them. She's not an animal person.

Ignoring the bit of info on his wife, Catherine photographed both outlines, and then measured them reading the numbers out for Warrick to take down.

"Well, that's it for now. Let's get everything back to the lab."

"Think the paintings were motive?" Warrick ask her.

"If so, don't you think the attack was a little extreme for that?" Catherine responded packing her camera away and slinging it over her shoulder.

They were interrupted by Greg who had joined them in the past hour.

"Guys come and look at this?"

The senior CSIs walked over to a door that led into the back yard.

Greg shined his flashlight on the floor adjacent to the doggie door which was locked.

Blood spatters and paws prints.

Greg quickly took photographs of it.

Warrick studied them, "Weren't the dogs found outside during the attack?"

Catherine nodded, "There were scratches on the door, and they were trying to get back in. The doggie door was locked, strangely."

"Well perhaps one of the dogs was injured in the attack?" Greg asked while swabbing the samples.

"I don't know." Catherine answered, "I don't recall hearing anything mentioned about an injured dog."

Warrick agreed, "I saw the dogs out in the back jumping around and they looked alright."

Catherine's eyes widened in an epiphany moment, "Unless our killer got bit by one of the dogs."

"Dogs do fear bite!" Greg said matter-of-factly.

The senior CSIs eyed him for a moment.

"Nick told me that once." Greg smiled.

"Well irregardless, we'll swab it and get the Lab to try and run a DNA match. My initial take is that this could be a revenge attack towards Nick."

Warrick nodded, "You know I often wondered about those Mexican gangs he dealt with years back. Nick said that they are not like the Mafia who tend to kill you directly. These guys instead kill your whole family."

"Good point." Catherine agreed, "Hypothetically this fits the profile of such an attack."

"But that was years ago."

"Their memories are pretty long."

-to be continued


	2. Chapter 2

**THIS WOMEN'S WORK**

_A tragedy strikes Nick and the only way he copes is by finding out why!_

_**Story type: Angst/Tragedy/AU**_

**_Characters: Nick Stokes and the team._**

_**Rated M for mature subject manner and violence.**_

_**Disclaimer**: All the characters, songs, and references do not belong to me, but I thank them dearly for their use._

_**A/N**: All mistakes are mine. I haven't been able to track down a beta, am willing to take volunteers if anyone is willing. _

_I did as much research on foresnics as I could, but I'm sure there are big mistakes. I'm still learning folks. Be gentle with me in your reviews_

**_Thanks for the reviews. I'll try and update at least once a week._**

Chapter Two

Nick sat on the couch in the Break Room next to Greg; his eyes vacant with shock.

Reporters hovered outside like African buzzards waiting for that damn, injured waterbuffalo to concede to death.

Grissom sat on the other couch w

ith him feeling completely awkward. He had never known how to handle emotional Nick Stokes and even now when the Level 3 needed his support more then ever, he still felt awkward.

"Nick," He spoke carefully, "I think it would be best if I called her parents."

Nick slowly shook his head and ran a hand down his face.

"I…just..need a moment Grissom..I.." Tears were falling down his cheeks. He rubbed his nose.

Greg stared at him sideways, equally as awkward as the bugman.

Grissom nodded, "I know, but I know that your relationship with them was…tense. I don't know if you would be good..for you to do it.."

"That's not your problem Grissom." Nick answered flatly.

Shot down again.

"Would you like to do it from my office?" Grissom tried once again to provide some kind of support.

Nick looked up. His face was stony with shock and disbelief. The kind of expression Gil had seen before on many family members who's loved ones had been victims of horrific crimes.

"No. I think I'll just go to my truck and do it."

With those words, Nick jumped up from the couch and hastily left the room.

Greg got up to go after him, but stopped realizing that it was not the best course of action. He then suffled off to see where he could be used.

The Supervisor merely stood up, petted his subordinate;d shoulder and walked out of the lab.

Sofia was waiting for him outside. Grissom stopped before her.

"I questioned him earlier." She told him pulling out her notepad, "This was actually Nick's night off. However, Catherine was short and called him at about 11:00 a.m. He said he'd be there in an hour, but didn't arrive until 1:45 a.m."

Eyebrows knitted quizzically, Grissom pondered, "He was late"

Sofia nodded, "Everyone is a suspect here Gil, even Nick."

"Did he? Was there any reason why given?" Grissom asked not wanting to assume the worst.

"No, I'm going to have to question him a little more though. I'll give him a few days." Sofia answered. Then she added, "I hate to be the bad cop here Gil but.."

The Supervisor waved his hand and walked away, "That's fine Sofia. I understand."

He stormed off. He knew Sofia was just doing her job, but the thought of making Nick Stokes a suspect in his own wife's murder was too much for him to bare and he could allow.

The Entomologist also knew that he wasn't being subjective, but as Nick himself once said, "You can't ignore the human element."

And the human element here dictated that Nick did not do this. He would never do this.

Assistant Coroner David looked up, pressing the middle of his glasses back into place on his nose.

"Can I..can I help Grissom?" He asked while spreading the essential tools out onto the tray gleaming in the dim light of the lab.

"Has the autopsy of Regine Stokes been done?" He asked impatiently.

Sara appeared from behind the curtain looking confused while holding her camera, "I'm processing her now as we speak. Her clothes or her t-shirt was just bagged."

Grissom cleared his throat, "Good."

She half smiled, "Catherine's ticked about this one being given to me."

"She'll get over it. I have my reasons." The Entomologist answered dismissively, not wanting to deal with Lab politics at the moment.

The two walked over to the examination table where Regine Stokes laid covered in a thin sheet. Sara hesitantly pulled it down revealing a well-nourished, body smattered with freckles. Sara sighed at the sight of the mass of red curls that lay out like a fan on the table, head propped on the block.

She had once told Nick that Regine reminded her of British actress Kate Winslet. He had smiled and told her that Regine would love to hear that since she was a huge fan of the actress.

Regine certainly had the large expressive eyes, long lashes and full lips of the actress, but she was bit more fuller-figured which given Hollywood's perchance for women to be 20 per cent less then the recommended Body Mass Index' it would not too hard to be over that..

The brunette CSI was often surprised by the match up. She had pictured Nick, with his chiseled good looks, to be with a model girl-blonde, the Vegas Show girl type.

She remembered about how Greg and Warrick had told Nick she was certainly "Bootylicous"-a phrase from a popular song. Nick had always grinned mischievously back to them and ducked his head shyly-cheeks rosy.

"_Bigger the cushion better the pushin' eh Bro!" Warrick laughed all noticing Nick's face turning bright red, "No wonder you always smiling these days."_

_Chuckling, the Texan simply rubbed his hand and changed the subject to one of all things sports._

And certainly Nick and Regine were opposite on so many things. Regine was a bit of scatter-brain while Nick was a neat-freak; she was social liberal; Nick more of a social conservative. She was a free spirit with a temper to boot while Nick was more restrained and straight-laced. She had no use for sports, but was a musical genius-or at least in Nick's view she was-while he loved his football, basketball, baseball, etc., etc.

But they both loved animals; both were very compassionate towards society's more vulnerable; both enjoyed watching Animal Planet and the Discovery Channel.

Both were big zoological geeks who would go off bird watching and onced even traveled to parts of Canada to listen to wolves howl or whale watch.

So opposites do attract and even Sara had to admit this woman made Nick happier then she'd seen him in years; particularly safter the hell he went through years ago when he was buried alive.

Deep thoughts were interrupted by the familiar clicking of heels. She knew Grissom's walk anywhere. He had finished talking with Doc Robbins about the crime scene and came up beside her.

Blowing out a breath, Sara started snapping photographs; the canary-like whistle following each click.

She turned to her boss, "Are you sure Nick won't have a problem with you here? I mean you do realize that you are observing his wife's naked body. He might not be happy about that Gris."

Grissom was thoughtful for a moment and then responded, "It's another crime scene as far as I'm concerned. Right now the focus is on collecting as much evidence as possible Sara."

Turning back to Nick's wife's body, Sara took samples of hair, scraped her nails before clipping them. Ultraviolet light was used to probe for any unseen evidence.

The familiar shuffling of Doc Robbins indicated that the initial processing had to be completed before the next step was taken.

"I was just coming back from lunch." He explained to Grissom, "I was actually due to be on vacation. First one I've taken in years. But I stayed on to do the autopsy on Mrs. Stokes personally for Nick."

"Doctor Stokes. She was a veterinarian." Grissom corrected.

Doc smiled, "I'm sorry. Dr. Stokes. Sometimes we human doctors forget that our animal counterparts go to school almost as long as we do to get their credentials."

Sara packed the Rape Kit, "I'm done with my part Doc."

"Thank you Sara."

The brunette bit her lip. She was fighting back emotion valiantly.

Doc slid on his headpiece and began recording, "Regine LeBourdais Stokes; 36 years of age; 5 feet 6 inches, approximately 130 pounds;eyes hazel, red;curly hair. "

Gil allowed his mind to wander as Doc went over the particulars that started all autopsies.

Grief was something Grissom wasn't used to. He tried to block it, but this was a tough one because he'd known Regine before Nick did. She had attended a seminar on tarantulas he gave and the next thing he knew; he was her personal tarantula sanctuary.

As an assistant manager of the local humane society, tarantulas occasionally made an appearance at the shelter either through a rescue, or abandonment.

"_Gil, who's that dark-haired guy over there?"_

_Grissom looked up from admiring the latest addition to his tarantula family and followed the titian-haired women's gaze over to where Nick stood with Warrick discussing the latest football game._

_He smiled at her, "That's one of my guys, Nick Stokes."_

_A grin spread across her broad face, the small smattering of freckles on her nose more prominent. _

"_Your guy is rather good-looking!" She smiled appreciatively at Nick who leaned against the pop machine._

"_Well, Regine, I've never really looked at Nick in that way, but if you say so." Grissom chuckled._

"_Is h committed?" She stared up at the Entomologist her face full of expectation. _

"_Yes, very committed." Grissom answered coyly watching her face fall in disappointment and he then amended, "To his job that is. To a person in particular, I don't believe he is?"_

_Hard one to answer given that Nick never shared his love life with him. _

_She beamed with excitement, "Let's go show Mr. Stokes your new friend."_

_Grissom shook his head, "Nick's not very keen on insects and arachnids, but I'll take you over to him in case he might be looking for a cat."_

_Was Nick even a cat person? He thought about the time Nick found the orange tabby and how diligently picked the hairs off his shirt._

_He started to walk and she pulled him back a bit._

"_Do you know him well?" She asked quickly pulling out a compact and fixing her hair in the mirror, "In the times I've met with you, you talked a lot about Catherine, Warrick and Sara, but not much about Nick. Why?" She closed the compact and waited for Grissom's answer._

_But he was at a loss for words._

_She shrugged, "Well, nevertheless you can just introduce me, and I'll take care of the rest?"_

_Smiling warmly, Grissom answered, "Umm, I can do that. I'm not Emma, but I can introduce you."_

_She laughed, "Okay Emma, come take a turn with me to your fair lad there."_

Doc Robbins worked away noting all of Regine's distinguishing marks that were hidden amongst the bruises, including a tattoo on the right side of her leg of a Grey Wolf howling to the moon, into the ear piece as the door of the autopsy room opened and in walked of all people: Conrad Ecklie.

Robbins switched off the recording.

"Conrad," He greeted, "Haven't seen you in here much since your promotion."

Grissom walked over to Ecklie to block his view from Nick's wife nude, exposed body and looked at the Director wearily, "Yes Conrad."

"We need to talk about something?" Ecklie, true to his insensitive form continued to walk towards the autopsy table.

Grissom blocked him determined to give Nick's wife privacy.

"Now this is exactly what I was worried about!" Ecklie scolded condescendingly.

"And what's that?" The older man answered testily.

"There is far too much emotional involvement in this case which is why I'm here Grissom."

"What!" Grissom snapped sensing where this conversation was going.

"Given the intimate relationship of your teammates to the deceased, I think it would be best if this case was moved to Days." Ecklie said tentatively then continued, "This is as close to a conflict of interest as it comes."

Grissom answered flatly, "I see."

"I'll make sure that it is handed directly to the Day supervisor." Ecklie told him in a reassuring tone that denoted falseness as plain as day.

"Have you spoken to Nick about it?" Grissom asked.

"No, I figured I'd leave that you." Ecklie answered then added, "Given how 'close' you two are?"

"I have a better idea." Grissom told the Director, "I've given the case to the person on my team who was the least close with Regine."

"Weren't you all close with her?" Ecklie asked puzzled.

"No, we all know that Nick doesn't share a lot about his private life with us."

Ecklie snorted, "You in particular."

"Then that proves my point."

"You're saying you want to take the case on yourself?" Ecklie snorted dubiously.

"No, I've given the case to Sara Sidle with my assistance."

"Really! Sara Sidle!" Ecklie asked almost laughing, "Was she not close to Regine Stoke?"

"No, they weren't."

"Why?"

"It's irrelevant. The point is that I know Nick well enough to gather that he would probably like the investigation to be kept to one of his team members. And I'm sure when he's up to it; he could vouch for the relationship between his wife and Sara." Grissom cocked his head to one side and stared at the Director.

Ecklie sighed heavily, "I don't know if I like this idea Grissom."

"No, I didn't think you would, but since we've already started this case, I think it is fair for us to finish it. I've spoken to Sara and she has agreed to do this. She also worked on Catherine's ex-husband's case and you didn't seem to have an issue with that." Said Grissom staring accusingly at the Director.

"I wasn't in charge of the Lab then." Ecklie defended then leaning on a counter, he gave the idea some thought and then nodded, "OK. I'll go with you on this Grissom, but you're the one who takes the heat if the Judge feels our case is biased due to a possible conflict of interest."

Ecklie shoved his hands in his pocket, still trying to get a glimpse of Nick's wife's naked body.

"It would be conflict of interest if Nick himself was trying to solve the case, but Sara is as far from the wife as you can get." Grissom explained.

"Fine, then you and Sara work on the case together. I want weekly updates and I also want to make sure Mr. Stokes is hands off. He cannot be as much as a hair width near this case. You understand!"

Grissom nodded.

Sara was walking aback into the Morgue when and just caught the last sentence about she and Grissom working on the case together.

"You're supervising me? I don't need to be supervised Grissom." She argued vehemently. Her emotions were stretched.

"It's the only way to keep the case from going to Days." Grissom turned to her earnestly.

Sara was pensive, "Not the worst idea in the world."

"But I think Nick would be better served if we did it." Grissom said.

"Why are you so determined to see this through Gil?" Sara asked.

The Entomologist didn't answer her because even he couldn't explain it.

Sara walked over to the table and stared down sadly at the battered and bruised body.

"Lot of punches to the mid section." She observerved Doc who was arranging the tools on the table irritated that his favourite part of the autopsy was interrupted.

"I noticed. In the pelvic area."

"An intentional aim maybe?" Grissom observed and continued," or more then just one aim."

He opened the file again to read over what so far they had on the case. Blood was all over her side of the bed, on the end tables, the nearby curtains. Her abdomen was severely, severely bruised, and small pool of blood seemed to trickle out of her below it.

Grissom looked up, eyebrows knitted furtively.

Sara began to take more photos. There was something bothering her about the amount of bruising to her pelvic area. The camera whistling with each shot of every bruise there was.

There was no doubt that Nick's wife had taken a severe beating. Not to mention the gaping wound on her neck with muscle protruding from it.

The brunette CSI turned to the Coroner.

"Doc, do you mind turning her onto her side? I just want some posterior shots. I was rushing earlier to get the rape kit for immediate processing."

The Coroner motioned David to come over and gently they eased the nude body off the table and Sara snapped some shots before noticing something odd.

Sara studied Regine's back "Grissom come take a look at this?"

Grissom closed his file and went over to see what Sara had zoned in on.

"Do you see that bruise?"

He looked closed.

"Looks like someone had their shoe pressed on her back."

"It looks like some kind of boot, combat type often worn by military or law enforcement personnel." Grissom said studying the imprints.

"Well," countered Sara, "A lot of people wears them for fashion reasons, and they could be hiking boots, or construction boots."

She went on to take more photos while Grissom pondered his thoughts.

Doc readied his tools, "I'm going to open her up. If you want to stay it's up to you."

The CSIs looked at each other.

Sara nodded, "I'm staying."

"Then I guess I am too." Grissom agreed.

Nick sat zombie like in the parlour of the funeral home. His nostrils were filling with the over powering smell of floral arrangements as he dully answered the Director's questions about his wife. His parents side on either side of him. God he was glad they were here! This was not something he could handle alone. He just couldn't. Nick was a strong, stoic man, but even he had his limits.

Regine's parents were there too. Her dad, Stephan LeBourdais was a tall thin man with grey hair and mesmerizing blue eyes. Her mother, Louisa, was more like his former wife. Red, haired, healthy looking, hazel eyes traits of an Irish descent.They had flown in from Quebec City where her father was a business tycoon turned politician for the provincial government. Her mother worked as a social worker for the local child protection agency.They glared at him, angrily because their only daughter was gone and he hadn't been there to help her. No words were said to Nick of this sort, but the stiff body language and curt way they spoke to him-when they absolutely had to-was didactical enough.

Nick knew his wife's relationship with them was strained. After her first husband committed suicide they had wanted her to move home and help find her a 'Quebecois' man. A local. Regine told Nick, she didn't want to go back because her dad's zealous political views upset her greatly. Apparently, he was part of a political party that wanted to "break up Canada".

He heard his name being called and turned his head slowly towards the funeral director Mr. Logan Fisher of Fisher and Rodriguez a young man about 30 wearing a navy blue suit with ruffled brown hair, and dark brown eyes and carrying a manner all sympathetic to the events which turned Nick's life upside down.

"Mr. Stokes, will your wife be buried here in Las Vegas?" Mr. Fisher asked.

"Umm." Nick spoke quietly, "Of course."

LeBourdais shook his head heatedly, "Our daughter is coming home with us!!!" His accent (Quebecois accent as Regine described it), "She will buried in Quebec, she is a Quebecer first!"

Now it was Nick's turn to get angry, "No! MY WIFE is being buried here in Vegas"

The mother glared helplessly and turned to her husband, "Qui l'enfer est pour décider où notre fille doit être enterrée. L'idiot méridional sanglant." She nodded towards the Texan.

LeBourdais still glaring at Nick answered, "Là où l'enfer était lui quand elle était violée et assassinée. La cannette de fil imbécile ne peut pas même maintenir sa propre épouse sûre !"

With nostrils flaring in anger, Nick spoke in that 'don't fuck with me tone' he saved for suspects, "Vous pourriez aussi bien parler anglais ! Je comprends que ce que vous dites parfaitement et je l'ai protégée !

Everyone sat in shock. Nick was surprised at himself, but he'd spent enough time with Regine to learn a thing or two about French and given his proficiency in Spanish, it was an easy language to pick up for him; the two Latin-based languages very similar.

The LeBourdais's looked pleadingly at the funeral director who shifted uncomfortably in his seat. He'd seen many family battles in his office in his short career, but they still weighted on his nerves.

Judge Stokes held up his hand in a manner that he reserved for dueling lawyers in his courtroom, "Now wait a minute, wait a minute. I believe as your daughter's husband, Nick has the final say in where his wife will lay. Now you can dispute this in the courts, or you can simply let your daughter rest in peace. I think we've all suffered enough."

Mr. Logan agreed and gently explained to the grieved parents. "I believe the Judge is right in this case. In fact all decisions regarding Regine Stokes funeral are in her husband's jurisdiction. I believe you have a copy of her instructions Mr. Stokes."

Judge Stokes handed the necessary documentation together. Thanks to Catherine Willows much needed paper work was provided to them including the will and burial instructions.

Nick looked at the distraught parents' eyes and felt his heart sinking in guilt. She was there only daughter and it was understandable that they'd want her home with them, but she had specifically told Nick she wanted to be buried in Nevada. She had been born here when her mother gave birth in a taxi cab while her parents vacationed in Vegas thus giving her American citizenship. When they got back to Canada, she became a Canadian one as well.

Or as her parents so passionately put it-'a Quebecoi'.

Then after she finished Veterinary School in the US, she married her college boyfriend.. Her first husband, Sarath Persaud, was of Sri Lankan decent, but his parents immigrated to the US during the Tamil wars. They lived in New York for about 10 years during which Regine ran an exclusive vet clinic serving some of New York's richest and pampered pets. It thrived for years and years.

But on the side, Regine volunteered for a mobile vet clinic that would spay and neuter pets for the City's poorest families. She told Nick that it was wonderful time for her. She was doing what she loved while still helping those in need.

But her happy life changed when her husband Sarath, who had been diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder committed suicide shortly after 9/11. He had run an engineering firm and all his staff had perished in the attacks. Sarath was at a nearby restaurant having breakfast when the planes crashed into the towers.

When the attacks occurred. Regine herself had left the clinic handing the surgery over to a colleague and raced scrubs and all over to the buildings thinking Sarath was there, He was still in the restaurant which had been barricaded by the owner wanting to keep everyone safe.

Three weeks later he hung himself in the bathroom.

The courts froze his estate pending the outcome of lawsuits by the grieving families. Regine simply let the lawyers take care of it. Over the years, her husband's sporadic behaviour and spending binges forced her to open an account in secret where her pay cheques from the vet clinic were deposited. She had also instinctively made sure her name was never on anything her husband was part of: including his business.

Eventually the case with her husband's business was settled. Not much was left after the families got their share and the lawyer got hers. It was enough to resettle though.

Grieved as she was, Regine decided to take up on a colleague's lucrative offer and help manage the to vet clinic in Vegas an extremely high profile one where pet owners were willing to shell out thousands of dollars to ensure their pets got the best care.

Not long after, the local humane society was looking for a part-time shelter manager and in need of cash, she took the offer.

Then through Grissom, Nick met her.

He was surprised that day when Grissom brought a curvaceous, curly-haired red head over dressed in a long, black t-shirts, tights and ballerina-like black shoes; covered over by a white, doctor's coat with the badge _Dr. LeBourdais_ on it. She introduced herself to him as Grissom's tarantula supplier. Nick started the conversation by asking about what kind pet a guy like him could have with his schedule. She invited him to the shelter to have a look.

He didn't see anything he liked, but he did like her. She was funny, gorgeous, smart and sassy.

They married about 10 months later, and then 18 months to the day of marriage, she died. And once again, Nick was alone. His dreams shattered.

And all that was left was him sitting in a funeral parlour with his parents for support and her parents hating the sight of him.

Her parents never liked him anyways. They thought he was too 'right wing', 'too American', hell too "Southern" for their liberal-minded daughter. In a million years they never had anticipated their socially-conscious daughter to marry someone of such a conservative background.

Guess he wasn't going to be a problem for them anymore.

The funeral arrangements were made in haste and her parents walked out in a huff.

"I can see why there was a lot of blood flow out of the vaginal area" Doc Robbins asked hovering over the open cavity of Nick's wife.

Grissom and Sara looked at him.

"Signs of a recent trauma to the uterus.."

"As in rape with a foreign object?" Sara asked.

"Most likely. But there seems to be trauma to the uterus. There are remnants of a placenta as well. She was pregnant when this happened.!" Doc sighed sadly.

The bearded Coroner looked at the CSIs grimly.

Sara's eyes widened with surprise while Grissom remained stone-faced.

"Pregnant?" Sara finally managed to blurt out.

Doc nodded. .

Grissom cocked an eyebrow quizzically, "Is there a fetus?"

"No I don't see it, most likely she miscarried. The remnants are fairly fresh, so I'd say either it was during the rape, or she had a procedure done not long before the attack."

The three of them were mournfully quiet as the insidiousness of this tragedy took hold.

He ran an ALS light over her body, "There's semen here. I'll send samples to the Lab and have a DNA sample."

Sara nodded, "Warrick said there were signs of sexual activity on the sheets. Maybe the killer got sloppy."

"Or Nick had relations with his wife before that." Grissom said quietly, "Well have to run it against a sample we have on file."

Sara grimaced before jotting notes onto her metal clipboard, "According to Greg, Nick was about very late to the crime scene and far as I can recall he hasn't been late to a crime scene since his early days as a CSI Level III."

Grissom ran a hand over his face trying to detach himself from the obvious discomfort of knowing more about Nick's sex life then he'd like and then asked Doc Robbins.

"Is there anything that you can that would indicate what kind of object she was raped with?"

"I'll take some tissue sample to Wendy to see if can rule anything out, but Gil there's a lot of damage here. Whoever did this had a lot of rage towards this woman."

"This was a personal attack." Sara concluded, "It had to be. But how would the killer know she would be alone that night."

"If it was Nick," Grissom thought out loud, "It would have to been done before he went on his shift."

"Time of death though indicates it happened between 11:45 and 12:30. Crime scene arrive at about 1:30, Nick arrived at about 1:45. She was still warm. I know the police were looking for a suspect." Doc explained.

Sara shook her head, "The body in the desert was quite far from his house. So that's not surprising. We'll check the miles on his truck."

"The police were called to the scene because their dogs were barking. That was rather unusual for them. They have a very nosey neighbour who called the police, when they arrived it was about 1:00. They found Regine and immediately put out a call for us. Brass recognized it was Nick's address which explains our quick response." Grissom said while going through the file.

Sara raised her eyebrows, "Perp was still on the scene. How'd he get out without our seeing him."

The window was open in their bedroom, screen was broken." Grissom answered.

"And none of the neighbours saw anything?" Sara asked incredulous.

"It's an older neighbourhood, Sara, the lights aren't very good in that area."

"But how did he get in?" She asked trying to build a theory.

"Same way he got out. Explains why there was no forced entry."

"He must have been a small man."

"Or a thin one."

Doc sighed heavily, "If you two don't mind, I'd like to get the rest of the autopsy done, so I can get the body over to the funeral home. Nick's father called for an ETA earlier. I'd like to be able to give Nick a chance to say goodbye to his wife."

Grissom nodded, "We'll be going. Thanks Doc."

Outside the morgue, Grissom said, "I'd like you to go over with Sofia when she questions Nick again."

Sara shook her head, "There's no need to question Nick. He didn't do this."

"I know that Sara, but at this point everyone is a suspect. Even Nick. We'll all be answering for our whereabouts last night."

...to be continued...


	3. Chapter 3

**THIS WOMEN'S WORK**

_A tragedy strikes Nick and the only way he copes is by finding out why!_

_**Story type: Angst/Tragedy/AU**_

**_Characters: Nick Stokes and the team._**

_**Rated M for mature subject manner and violence.**_

_**Disclaimer**: All the characters, songs, and references do not belong to me, but I thank them dearly for their use._

_**A/N**: All mistakes are mine. I haven't been able to track down a beta, am willing to take volunteers if anyone is willing. _

_I did as much research on foresnics as I could, but I'm sure there are big mistakes. I'm still learning folks. Be gentle with me in your reviews_

**_WARNING..THIS NEXT CHAPTER IS A BIT..NAUGHTY.._**

Chapter 3

That night, Nick skipped dinner with his parents and holed himself up in the adjoining bedroom of their hotel suite. Pending the investigation, the Sheriff wanted Nick to never be left alone given that no one knew if the murder was related to Nick's cases in anyway. A uniform was posted outside the door at all hours. After his parents left, he would go and stay with Jim Brass who offered the best deal of the team: Food, shelter, and no questions about his 'emotion state.' On days off, Brass said they'd watch the football game together and that would be his way of offering support.

Nick couldn't ask for a better deal.

His siblings were all flying in for the funeral. They had liked Regine and she got on well with them despite contradicting political views.

Nick was glad for the comfort, but hoped that no one coddled him like they did when he was a youngster and he was the baby always being watched out for. For the kind of pain he was feeing now no ice cream, or chocolate bar was going to help.

He lay on the bed and flicked the TV on. Anderson Cooper 360 was on. Nick smiled as he remembered how he and his wife would find some dark humour in watching the grey-haired man holding onto a telephone poll during a hurricane. It was usually the only bright spot when such tragedies happened to humans.

Nick felt his eyelids grow heavy and he drifted into a slumber bringing dreams of better times.

_The Dogs of Eads was an all Celtic pub just north of the Strip. _

_Hopping out of the Denali, Nick stretched his arms out, relieved from the stress of dealing with Hodges and his God-like ego and the rest of the Lab Rats. _

_As he walked over, he let Dispatch know he was on break for about an hour and pulled the door open._

_He was greeted with sound of clinking glasses, lively conversations about a myriad of subjects Nick briefly heard as he made his way through the crows and loud music._

_Regine was up on stage singing, 'Karma Police' by Radiohead on her electric keyboard..'the kind Chris Martin uses' she described it. A gentlemen sat nearby playing a tiny xylophone to enhance the riff as she broke into a bridge singing:_

_This is what you get_

_This is what you get_

_When you mess with us…_

_She playfully sang into the microphone. Eyes about the audience warning them of Karma's danger. Her hair done up into a bun with strands breaking freely and bouncing around her face. _

_She was musician as well as a Vet. Her house while sparse in décor was filled with guitars, electric and acoustic, drums, apartment-sized piano, and a bodrhan-which she explained was an Irish drum made out of goatskin. In this case, the goat was her grandmother's and had died of old age. So the drum was made in its honor. _

_Warrick had come once with him to watch her and described her voice as gifted. She could sing the highs of Chris Martin's sopranos, she could master a rock tune with litter effort givng Pat Benetar a run for her money._

_Nick found a booth in the corner and sat forward to make sure she saw him and that he saved a special spot for him. He took off his baseball hat and smiled while she sang the last keys._

_The crowd applauded appreciatively. Normally bar bands don't get this kind of reception, but the audience was made up of old friends, veterinarians, animal activists, donors, staff from vet clinics and humane societies around, animal control as tonight was a fundraiser for the humane society._

_Regine had left a ticket for Nick with the bouncer who was already familiar with her Texan boyfriend as he'd become a regular._

_She trotted over to him enthusiastically; eyes lit up by the very sight of him and kissed him, "Nice to see you here."_

"_Got a full crowd..." Nick smiled at her, she wore a black-shirt with a silvery black skull imprinted on it, complete with black snug jeans, and black boots with killer heels. Nick once commented that she could ruin a man with those boots._

"_And you are on break?" She asked, pulling the clip out of her hair allowing the tresses to tumble about her shoulders, knowing how much he loved her red curls. He eagerly ran his through them nodding, "Yeah, I am." _

_His soul was lifted by how her face lit up when we walked in. Before she came along, the only people he lit up was Grissom and not in a good way, or Ecklie or whomever decided to make Nick their hackie sack of the day._

_She ordered a Rickards Red and turned back to him, "How's it going tonight?"_

_He hummed and haa'd, "Homeless dude by the Laundromat, Chester, popped off, we found his body by the bush, trying to rule out foul play."_

_She frowned sadly, "Oh that sucks! I gave him some money once." She sipped the beer as soon as it hit the table._

"_You would." Nick scolded and rolled his dark brown eyes._

"_Why not?" She answered defensively; the smile turning into instant, justifiable anger; the freckles starting to glower at Nick's social conservatism._

"_They could be using it to by drugs darling" Nick fixed her with patronizing stare._

"_Or food, Chester didn't look like a drug user to me?" She argued readying herself for a debate, her demeanor growing as offensive as a lion readying itself for a showdown with a hyena for the fresh kill_

"_Or a drunk?" Nick retorted sternly countering Regine's liberal ideology._

"_Well wouldn't you if you were living on the streets my luv?" She kissed him again using this device to change his stubborn mind._

"_Don't know, probably won't happen to me anyways." He smirked laying one hand on a palm loving her testiness. Nick loved to push this girl's buttons and he knew all the right ones to get her going onto the soap box of righteousness._

_Regine laughed incredously, "Stats show that most people are only two pay cheques away from the streets." _

_She was ready for him, her dad's political skills worn off on her and ready to challenge the Judge's boy._

"_Yeah! Stats change all the time, next it will be three." He said sipping his Coke and polishing off the rest of the wings._

"_Or one.." She argued._

"_Darlin' I didn't come to debate social woe, but to see you." Nick said raising his hands up to invoke an invisible peace flag._

"_Well," She said softly dropping the defenses and getting to the heart of the matter, "What are you doing when you get off shift later?"_

"_Go home, go to bed." Nick said yawning in a teasing way knowing where the conservation was headed, but playing coy._

"_Your bed or my bed?" Her eyes dazzled suggestively, but shyly._

_Nick ducked his head equally shy. They'd been dating for some time, but had taken their time. Sounds like it was long enough for her, "I think your bed would be..more..comfortable..so uh..after my shift..I'll think I'll come over and get some shut eye. What do you think?"_

_She bit her lower lip, nervously and then leaned over and whispered, "I don't think you'll be getting too much sleep."_

_Nick looked down and noticed a hand stroking the inside of his thigh-a promise of things to come._

"So Mr. Ecklie, was there PENETRATION?!!"

Nancy Grace's screechy voice jolted Nick awake.

What the hell was on TV? He'd been watching some Entertainment Show to see how Hollywood's young was partying themselves into career oblivion when he dozed off.

The grief was there waiting for him. Like a python ready to close itself around it's victims and suffocate them to death.

Nick slowly sat up and stared at the bullet-hair style woman going on about "penetration" in a high profile murder/sexual assault case his wife's.

The headline at the bottom of the screen read:

"_**Vegas Crime Fighter's Wife Brutally Sexually Assaulted/Murdered!!!"**_

Running a hand through his disheveled hair, Nick groggily watched his wife's murder became infotainment for all of America. Her body being wheeled out by Doc Robbins as he saw himself being rushed into Grissom's Denali by Brass.

The screen split with Conrad Ecklie was in one part of the screen while the bullet-haired woman was in there.

"Was there _**penetration**_ Mr. Ecklie?" Grace's face was keenly lit up awaiting the answered.

The bitch always emphasized the word 'penetration.' As if she personally got a kick out of saying it knowing it would bring in sorely needed numbers.

Ecklie's lips thinned as he weighed the question heavily before answering, his voice void of emotion.

"At this time, I am not a liberty to say Ms. Grace. Due to legalities, we are not permitted to going into vivid detail of the case other then to say that our Lab is the second best one in United States. We solve crimes that other jurisdictions have rendered unsolvable; it is only a matter of time before this one will join the list of those solved."

Nick snorted. The guy was slick, but for once he was grateful for it.

"And how is her husband doing? He must be shattered by this. His wife murdered while he was out in some desert looking at a skeleton.."

Ecklie's face seemed to tighten as he struggle to maintain composure despite the absolute inane questions he was being asked by the D.A turned yellow journalist's question. Hell even he had his standards. "Mr. Stokes is doing well given the circumstances, and is in seclusion at this time with his family, and I will point out, Ms. Grace, that Mr. Stokes is a top-ranking Criminalist and was doing his job at the time of his murder. He was not out 'looking at some skeleton in the desert.' He was investigating a crime scene. That's what we pay him to do"

Grace was silenced momentarily before announcing that they were going to break.

Nick felt a bit of a relief. Ecklie was defending him.

His mother's tired face peered through the door, "Sofia and Sara are here Nick. Do you want to talk to them?"

Nick nodded, "I'll be out in a minute."

Flipping off the TV, he got out of the bed and went into the bathroom. As he turned on the tap, he looked in the mirror and took stock of what he saw. The last few days had rocked him not only emotionally, but physically. His eyes were red and swollen to the point that they were mere slits, his laugh lines deepened, his face swollen from lack of sleep and pure mental exhaustion.

He rubbed the back of his head staring at his hair for a second. He'd gone back to the military look recently. When he'd met Regine, he had shaved his head for the umpteenth time, and then allowed it to grow back. She'd role her eyes when he talked about his ever-changing hair styles.

"_What so funny!" Nick asked her not sure if wanted to hear her latest observation about him. _

"_Just thinking about Grandpa Simpson?" She answered coyly while dancing with him at the last Christmas Party._

"_Grandpa Simpson? From The Simpsons?"_

_She nodded and lowered her voice and said in a raspy voice trying to imitate the old geezer, "Now there's a hair cut you can set your watch to." She rubbed the top of his head._

"_Oh man!!" Nick laughed so hard his sides began to split._

The memory let him go as he leaned over the sink, cupped his hands under the flow of the cold water and then splashed it across his face. He did this about four times before turning off the tap and reaching for the hand towel and padded his face dry. He pulled out a comb and ran it through his hair.

Feeling a bit freshened; he then made his way out of the adjoining room into the hotel's room sitting area where Sara and Sofia sat. Off at the table in the kitchenette sat his parents pouring over paper work. His dad had been on the phone with lawyers to keep things hidden from the media, dealing with wills, funeral arrangements and so forth. Their legal expertise relieved Nick of added stress; stress he didn't need, but a part wished for some distraction from their horrors of his current reality.

With arms stretched, Sofia embraced him tightly whispering condolences.

Then he looked at Sara awkwardly and nodded at her. Sara's dislike of Nick's wife had put a rift in their friendship.

But now it was time to set those tensions aside.

Nick invited the ladies to sit down.

"How are you Nick?" Sara asked nervously. Her friend was dressed in a rumpled button-up cotton white shirt and jeans. He looked like he just woke up from a nap, not a solid one though. His blood-shot eyes had a haunted look about them.

"I'd be better if my wife's murder wasn't all over the news." Nick answered eyes and lip narrowed angrily.

Sara nodded sadly, "We're doing our best to keep the details private.

Judge Stokes walked over and pressed his son's shoulder, "I told you son, I'm going to go to the court house in the morning to ask the judge to impose a media ban. It's not going to be easy, but I know this Judge Striker real well."

Nick smiled appreciatively at his dad and squeezed his hand.

Sofia nodded at the older man and got down to business..

"Nick can you tell us anything or anyone you know who would want to do this to your wife?" Her voice was soft and sympathetic, eyes looking into his.

Nick shook his head, "She had a lot of friends, but she also had some people pretty ticked off with her too. Mostly those whose businesses were affected by her lobbying efforts because corporations don't like it when you get in the way of making money."

He looked straight at Sara and asked her, "So Sara tells me was there any sign of sexual assault?"

Sara looked over at Sofia pressing her lips together firmly. Then she opened the file nodding.

"Yes, Nick there was." She answered honestly harbouring Grissom's MO of simply being straight with the victim's family.

_What Sara didn't tell him was about the pregnancy. Grissom ordered that part be kept until after the investigation._

She watched as Nick nodded and leaned back in the couch, folding his arms, eyes glistening.

Jill Stokes walked over and sat beside her son, placing her hand on his shoulder. He clasped it and looked up at her.

"Please, must this be done right at this moment?" She pleaded with the two women.

The two women looked at each other, before Sofia asked, voice filled with kindness, "Mrs. Stokes, could you both let us have some time alone with Nick. This next part of questioning is quite personal."

.She didn't like the role she was about to play at this moment, but in order to build a solid case. It had to be done.

His parents looked at them in exasperation. Not wanting to leave their youngest son one second.

"It's okay Mom," Nick assured his parents, "Its protocol."

Judge Stokes nodded and with his wife left the hotel room, the door closing softly behind them.

Sofa folded her hands and leaned slightly over to Nick who slumped in the chair rubbing the small bridge of skin between his dark eyes.

"I'm sorry; I need to ask these questions."

"I know."

"What was your relationship like with Regine before her death?"

Sara noticed Nick's eyes move to the side, indicative of someone recalling a memory and the tiny smile forming on his lips meant it was a damn good one.

"It was good, really good." He managed to answer his voice quivering.

Both women ducked their heads a bit embarassed by what they knew already.

"You had some problems though, did you not?" Sofia's face got serious.

Nick's looked at them quizzically. His eyebrows knitted together, head cocked to the side.

"What do you mean?"

Sara chose her next set of words carefully, "Weren't you complaining about feeling as if recently she was keeping something from you."

He stared hard at Sara, "To Warrick, yeah.?

"I was there too." She answered uncomfortably.

"I never noticed." Nick answered coldly looking away.

"I know." She nodded.

Sofia interjected, "Nick, why do you think your wife was shutting you out in the past few months?"

Nick shifted in his seat and sighed, "Regine was a very focused woman. She and her friend Lee were working on a project with a local animal welfare group. She was not an animal rights crusader, but sometimes she worked with certain groups, but she never told me anything other then saying 'it was all legal.' That was just how she was. She didn't just fight the cause. She became the cause and it became her."

Sofia opened her file and pulled out a photo, "Nick, what was their relationship like? How close were?"

It was picture of Regine, Lee and some others at a protest in front of the Mirage.

The dark-haired criminalist took the photo nodded, his eyes narrowed, "Lee was her best friend. They've known each other for years."

Sofia eyed him carefully and asked, "Did you know that he's missing?"

"No." Nick answered, his voice sounding honestly shocked.

"And I guess I don't have to explain to you that that makes him a suspect?"

Laughing in disbelief Nick cried, "Jesus Christ, they were best friends! They played together in her band. He wouldn't do this to her?"

Sara stayed focus, "They spent a lot of time together!"

"At our house working on their Cause!" Nick glared daggers at Sara.

"Would you have any idea of his whereabouts Nick?" Sofia asked hating this role more and more, "His roommate reported that he hasn't been seen since the same night Regine. He got a frantic call from her and he went out and never returned."

Nick folded his arms and stared into space, "I didn't know him all that well other then he and Regine seemed joined at the hip so much so that I did feel as if there were three of us in the marriage. I tried to talk to Regine about it, but she shot me down so I just dropped it. Figured once this Cause was behind her, he wouldn't be around as much."

He looked at the two women listening attentively to his answer and then asked, "Should I...I think I know where this headed ladies and maybe my parents should be here if this is going to go in a direction. I thought you were here about Regine."

"We are here about Regine because Lee is also a potential suspect given the timing of his disappearance as is everyone Nick."

Nick rubbed his temples feeling twinges of a major headache coming on. Spots were forming in front of his eyes.

"Look," He said his voice raspy, "I'm not making excuses for the guy, but I highly doubt that he would have anything to do with this."

"His fingerprints were all over your house Nick?" Sara replied.

"Well, yeah. I told you he was visiting a lot." He leaned back into the couch, rubbing his eyes longing for a Tylenol.

"We found some evidence of his being in your bedroom?" Sofia asked.

Nick smirked, "Yeah, he spent the night at our house two nights before she died while the two of them were preparing a report to give to the Development Council. Regine was in the kitchen working on it. She told him to go and use our bed and get good nights rest. I came home for a break and made her go lay on the couch because she looked tired."

"Why didn't he go to the couch?"

"Lee was a tall guy, almost seven feet, our couch wasn't that long!"

"And you are sure that's there been nothing more then that to their relationship Nick?" Sara asked.

"As sure as I can be Sara? Now am I suspect in his disappearance as well Regine's murder? Because my parents can vouch for my whereabouts the past few days. They haven't left my side. They haven't left my side since the night...Regine…Regine." Nick started gasping out the last words before tears started to flow freely down his face.

"I put my job before her." He choked, "If I hadn't taken that call from Catherine, she'd be alive..."

Sara dropped her professionalism, leaned forward and grabbed his hands, "Nick, you don't know that the guy could have been stalking her for weeks and waited for any moment to get her…"

Nick snorted and shook his head angrily, "No, Sara, I don't know that..no one knows that..because like any other case, this is going to take weeks, months, HELL, it could take fucking years before we know who did this. Look at Catherine's ex-husband. It's a goddamn cold case Sara!"

Sara shook her head and squeezed his hands tighter, "Not all of them wind up being cold cases Nick. You have to have faith in the process. I can't give you a solid answer on when this case will be solved, but you know me Nick."

Nick looked at her through eyes brimming with tears and spoke through the lump in his throat, "Yeah you can be a bulldog at times."

"And I promise to be this time. Okay."

Sofia took a deep breath because the next question was uncomfortable, "Nick…I…need to know this…but…did you and Regine have…intercourse prior to your shift?"

Nick swallowed hard and nodded, "Yeah we had an argument about her advocacy work and…well. We were kind of making up..."

"Did you use a condom?" Sofia asked these questions while looking at the file. She felt embarrassed for everyone in that rom.

Shaking his head, Nick answered quickly, "No…I. didn't."

Sofia sighed with relief that that part of questioning was behind that.

Nick asked her, "Was any semen left at the scene."

"The only semen found matched your DNA."

The Texan's shoulders slumped with disappointment. A DNA sample would make the path to finding the perp a little less intricate.

Sofia asked one final question, "Nick, what do you know about the paintings Regine had."

He shrugged, "They were autographed prints from a Canadian artist. One of them was called Cougar in the Snow, another one was Leopard in the Snow. Why?"

"They were missing from the crime scene. Were they there before you left?"

"Of course!! Regine would never sell those paintings. She loves Robert Bateman or loved." Nick felt sickened at having to talk about her in past tense. Then he went on to say, "Christ! They are worth a lot, but not that much, they weren't originals, but they were autographed by the guy himself. Her late husband gave them to her before he clocked himself off."

Nick's tongue was running over dried lips as he theorized, "I can't see those paintings as being a motive! They were stolen as a distraction."

"Nick," Sara said, "Just so you know. We..we..need to bring your truck in to verify the mileage."

"Yeah, because I'm a suspect in Regine's murder?" He snarled.

She smiled sympathetically, "We've all been questioned as to our whereabouts that night. Even me Nick."

"Yeah, cause you hated Regine's guts!" Nick stared hard at her, "And made her life fucking difficult every chance you got. Right!"

"No, I didn't but now's not the time to get into that Nick." Sara answered offensively.

They were interrupted by the sounds of the hotel lock clicking. Nick's parents looked in apprehensively. Sofia nodded over to them that they could come in.

"Everything okay Poncho?" The Judge could see the conversation had not gone well as he and his wife walked in carrying bags from clothing stores; outfits to wear to funerals as they rushed to Vegas so fast, they didn't have time to pack.

"Everything is fine dad!" his son answered resuming a brave face, but it was too hard, "Everything is just peachy!!!" Tears began to stream down and with those words, Nick stood up and walked back to the bedroom and slammed the door.

Sara and Sofia stood up and let Judge Stokes show them the door.

"My boy's just hurtin' ladies. It's nothing personal." He explained.

"We know Judge Stokes, and trust us as soon as we know anything Nick will be informed." Sara answered.

The Judge opened the door for them, "So we'll see you at the funeral?"

The both nodded.

"Julian of Norwich this Satuday, 2:00 p.m."

In his room, Nick sat on the bed breathing hard, trying to contain himself.

Rage filled him and it took every ounce of him to not grab something in that room and smash it to bits.

Nick's hands were in fists, making his veins pop up.

He tore off his clothes, down to his boxers and preceded with some push ups. He wanted to vent this anger out of him.

Nick got to 200 before he finally collapsed onto the floor. Then jumped up and sat onto his bed.

He was still wound up, while exercising was certainly a good way to temporarily rid his rage, now his adrenaline was on fire.

Nick would have loved to gone for a jog, but unfortunately, the uniform outside his door would be on his tail.

Sleep. That was probably the best remedy right now. And he turned to his old buddy Atavan to knock him senseless. They've had on and off relationship since the day he was buried alive.

He stuck two under his tongue and waited for them to dissolve.

Crawling under the sheets, still clad in his boxers (having locked the door so mom wouldn't walk on him), Nick drifted into a sleep; the tingling of the drug relaxing him.

"_You're late!!!"_

_Standing in the door, hands shoved into his pocket, Nick looked down forlornly feeling like a five-year-old with his hand caught in the forbidden cookie jar._

_Regine leaned against the door way wearing red tartan flannels, hair scraggly and hanging down in a braid over one shoulder. Her face was tired and furious._

_He was supposed to be at her house at 7:30 a.m. _

_It was now 11:00 a.m. _

_It couldn't be helped. Nick had hit a major breakthrough on a case and it needed to be followed through. Time just flew by._

"_I waited until about 9:00 and then put my flannels on and headed to bed." She explained about the casual attire, "I figured you'd forgotten."_

_Nick mumbled, "Yeah..no..I didn't forget..I wouldn't forget..I..…I got.. caught up in a case at the Lab. Sorry." He shifted his weight, head down._

_She folded her arms and glared at him, not impressed by the answer._

"_You're a CSI, you know how to use a phone!" She brought her thumb and pinky up her ear imitating Mr. Bell's invention._

_The CSI shrugged, he could have used a phone, but he was so focused that time simply flew._

_A tiny brown and white, canine face peered through the door. It was Butterfly the Papillion-Jack Russel mix. A small dog with a big dog personality._

_Butterfly growled at Nick. He didn't like the CSI very much. Regine told him the smells from the Lab made him nervous. Well dogs did have a stronger sense of smell and he probably smelled Hodges at that moment._

_Ranger ,the Nova Scotian Duck Tolling Retriever poked his head out and barked a more friendly bark. His sandy brown face almost in a smile._

_The little dog hated Nick. The big dog loved him. When Nick thought about it, he felt stuck in some Dr. Seuss book._

_Go Dog! Go! Stay Dog! Stay._

_One dog growling at Nick_

_One dog saying hello to Nick._

_Regine glared at the mongrels and ordered them to "Allez!!"_

_With surprising understanding of the French Language, the two slid back inside._

_Regine glared some more, making sure Nick was uncomfortable as can be before asking, _

"_So you must be tired eh?" _

_Nick smiled at both the question and the Canadian accent that punctuated it._

"_Pretty tired…" He answered slightly flirtatiously" I…could use a good rest.."_

_Regine stared at him defiantly undoing the brain allowing the curls to spring free from their constraints before softening her stance and held her hand to him, "It's time for bed Mr. Stokes."_

_He flashed one his smiles as he followed her._

_As soon the door was closed and he hung on his jacket on the hook she pulled him to her and kissed him deeply. He responded by sliding his hands under the pajama top and yanking it over her head then pressed her into the hallway wall massaging her generous breasts roughly. Goddamn he wanted her bad and she had been a lady and made him wait for almost a month!!!. She had been making him feel like some high school boy having reached third base and wanting so badly to hit that homerun._

_Waiting time was over and he wanted her. Palms against the wall, he grinded himself into her while his mouth devoured hers. Surprised by his aggressiveness, then excited she responded back by pulling his shirt out of his pants and then sliding her hands underneath to massage his abs, pecs._

"_The hallway is an option," She whispered in between kisses as she tugged at the opening of his jeans, reaching inside to fondle him causing him to grind into her harder. Nick rained kissed down the side of her neck till he reached her breasts gathering them and kissing them softly while she ran her fingers through his dark hair._

_He came back up and kissed that gorgeous mouth. He slid his hands into her pajama bottoms and was thrilled to find there was no underwear to worry about. He pressed, kneaded and fondled the contents and then stood back a minute to let her pull off his t-shirt. She playfully tossed it onto one of the cats who was sleeping on the chair of the coat rack._

_Nick groaned, "Great cat hair."_

_She smiled and took his hand to lead him into the comforts of her bedroom, "That's why the good lord invented lint brushes."_

_The t-shirt was forgotten about as he took a quick glance around the room. Paintings of wild animals adorned the walls painted a light grey. _

"_Nice paintings." He complimented. One was a very, very realistic cougar sitting in some snow, while the other was a white leopard walking along a snowy path. Nick almost felt like he was in the room with them._

_She followed his gaze, "Yeah, that's Robert Bateman. He's one of my favourites. Sarath gave those to me on my 30__th__ birthday. They're autographed by the man himself."_

_Nick held her close for a second. Sarath was an hands-off subject between the two of them. She had been standing by the four-poster ed with the burgundy comforter waiting for him to start kissing her again and he obliged, his tongue probing hers, as his hands went back to work, grabbing her ass and kneading it. Her hands sliding inside the back of his jeans which were loosened and hang slightly. He had been more tired then a damn dog, but the recent activity charged his endorphins to the fullest. The sounds of their fast and heavy breathing filled the room._

_Nick gently moved Regine onto the bed where she sat down and lid back and allowed him to pull of her bottoms. He stood back admiring her nude body. Her skin was alabaster white with a smatter of freckles on her arms and legs. Her curves were generous and her stomach was round and protruded slightly. He'd seen glimpses of it in their make out sessions, but not in its full glory. He rubbed the sides of her legs and kissed the insides._

_That's when he noticed the tattoo._

_A Grey Wolf howling a full moon._

_He smiled accusingly at her and pointed to it, "You're really an animal lover. Aren't you?"_

_She blushed as he studied her some more and quickly sat up to finish undoing his jean and brazenly pulled them down, boxers and all and he assisted by stepping out of them and kicking them away. Regine grinned at his erection before scooting back onto the bed waiting for him. Laying, her head on the pillow she watched him crawl in and scoot beside her. He laid beside her and drew her to him. _

_Skin to skin they pressed. Their mouths exploring each other and hands frantically roaming crevices, contours, and pleasure points; the bed creaking with each movement. _

_With his expert hands Nick brought her to near climax, her body writhing, open and wanting. She returned the favour, her tiny surgical hands working him up to a frenzy._

_Then she drew away for a second and leaned over to grab protection lying on the side table._

"_So, you're definitely ready for this." Nick whispered gruffly as he took the small package from her, undoing it as he roll onto his back It was more of an observation then a question._

"_Nick, I was ready when I first saw you in the hallway at the Crime Lab." Regine grinned as she hungrily watched him roll the condom onto his erection. "I wanted to jump that skinny, Texan body weeks ago.."_

"_But you made me wait." He whined._

"_I'm a lady sir!!!" She scolded, twirling her fingers through a lock of red hair._

"_Not for long woman." He warned making sure the device was slid on properly._

_Nick slowly moved himself on top of her. Her legs wrapped around his slender waist as he entered her body teasingly slow. He felt her tense then relax as he began at a low and methodic pace, the tempo increasing at her urging. Her hands were all over his back. Finger nails on his spine making him groan before kissing that luscious mouth that he adored and staring down at her intensely. She moaned and whimpered quietly with each thrust and her hands imprinted themselves on his ass to encourage him to go deeper. He readily obliged._

_With her encouragement, they changed positions and she was soon on top riding him almost frantically. Nick couldn't help but compare her to one of those chicks on a mechanical bull in a Dallas tavern. _

"_Jesus..girl!" Nick gasped, "I'm not a bucking bronto here!" He laughed at her ardent enthusiasm._

_She laughed and slowed a bit, rubbing his chest and leaning over to kiss him. Soon he rolled back on top of her and rode her body until she cried out, a muffled cry buried into his shoulder. Then he allowed himself to hit his crescendo, crying out loudly before collapsing onto her body. Every one of his extremities tingling. He pulled out and removed the device, and discreetly disposed of it._

_His breathing slowly went back to normal as he propped up himself and looked down at her._

_The sight that greeted him brought a grin to his face._

"_Are those….tears..are you crying woman!" Nick laughed soflty._

_She wiped them away furiously..embarassed, but was unsuccessful as they kept coming._

"_Now don't being doing that.." He said kissing them away…then reluctantly rolled off her.._

"_Are sad..I mean was this to soon?He asked feeling awkward no memory of making a girl cry with his lovemaking springing forth. Usually what followed was a cigarette or loud chatter._

"_No just..happy..because..I..don't remember ever being this much in love with someone..and I just am scared it will all disappear from me again.." She smiled through her tears that she allowed to flow freely. _

"_No it won't darling..I ain't going anywhere.." He said pulling her to him, stroking her hair, "Cause for the first time in years..I like where I am.."_

"_Je pense je t'dore.." She whispered looking up at him, still clammy from their romp._

"_Ci senorita" He smiled back._

The beeping of his cellphone alarm awoke Nick. It was the morning of the funeral.

Bits and pieces of the dream slowly faded into his memory. The Atavin taken had left him feeling as if he'd been hitting a six pack the night before, but he needed these things right now…just right now..

He sat up in the bed, intense sadness and grief taking over and gripping him like a damn vice.

The dream only made his current reality worse. The first few months of dating Regine were some of the happiest in his life.

She was such a scatterbrain; she accidentally left her cellphone in his truck; locker her keys in her minivan once; and her house was so scattered and messy that it amazed Nick that she even found anything. After he moved in, it got a little more organized, on his encouragement.

He smiled slightly at the memory and thanked it for escaping him from reality. If briefly.

The sun shone through the verticial blinds; a sunny day; Regine would appreciate that.

Nick heard a soft knock at the door.

"Son!" His mother called, "Are you awake?"

He cleared his throat, "Yeah Mom."

"We're ordering room service. Do you want anything."

_Not really. _"Just toast." He replied flatly. Nick didn't want to worry his parents anymore then they were.

The effects of the sleeping pill seemed to be lifting and he got out of the bed, his body protesting every move and headed into the bathroom.

Nick turned on the tap of the shower and then stood up to look in the mirror. His five o'clock shadow needed some attention or else his mother would be nagging him. Not that it would alter his appearance for the better. He looked like hell frozen over. His laugh lines deep, his normally tanned skins gone palour, like a corpse in Doc Robbins morgue.

Sliding off his boxers, Nick stepped into the steaming shower.

The water beat down on him and he slid down into the tub as another memory took hold of him. One of the last times he spent with her was in the shower. He had come home from a shift to her in there singing and he poked his head in and asked if he could join her. Of course she nodded excitedly.

He could still smell her, still remember how she tasted, how her soft body felt up against him. He slid down in the tub and hoisted his knees to his chest and sobbed deeply feeling the pelts of hot water beat his skin.

Nick was not a suicidal person, but this was hell on earth that only Dr. Kervorkian himself could cure.

The Texan was not a particularly spiritual person either, but sometimes he wondered if Karma was fucking at it again. He must have been major son-of-a-bitch in his former life to be getting all the crap thrown at him in this one.

Finishing his shower, he towel dried himself and tied it around his slim waist, he shaved, brushed his teeth (the first time in days)slapped on some cologne and made his way back into his bedroom and opened the closet door.

His parents had drug him out to buy a new suit and tie for the funeral. It was crisp, sleek and free from pet hairs. Warrick had also dropped by with some new threads given that Nick's house was a crime scene and all he had were the clothes he wore that night.

"_Thank's Bro!" Nick mumbled as Warrick handed the bags to him._

_They were sitting in the living room as his parents were out having dinner downstairs in the restaurant. Nick combed through the t-shirts, jeans, boxers and socks. Hell his friend had bought him some new shoes._

"_No problem.." The tall black man turned his attention to the football game. "You look like hell!!"_

"_Yeah I know." Nick answered blankly, not really concerned about it at all._

Her best friend, Maria took Nick out to buy some clothes for Regine to be buried in. It was hard because Regine had no set style. Her favourite attire was jeans and t-shirts with rock band logos on it. Not something that her parents would like to see their daughter buried in. Nick would have gone for it because his wife would have definitely loved it.

Eventually, they settled on khaki-coloured Capri's with a long, flowing white silk blouse. Maria picked out the outfit saying it was her style.

Nick buttoned up the white dress suit and grabbed the navy blue tie. His stomach was quivering from nerves and he started counting to five in order to settle them. His therapist told him to try it whenever he felt panicky or anxious. He had to count five things he smelled; five things he saw, and five things he heard.

The goal: Ground yourself back into reality.

He tried and he tried. Nick kept losing count.

He heard light knocking at his door.

"Yeah!"

"Just me Pancho.." His dad's voice answered.

Nick was trying to do his tie, buut somehow couldn't do it. The counting was not working, but fuck he was trying, his fingers wouldn't co-operate they shook and shook.

"C, c, mon in dad." Nick called, his voice shaking slightly. He was ready to explode. His rage was simmering in him, threatening to take over and hurl the damn tie to oblivion.

Judge Stokes, dressed in black, Italian suit, the kind her wore under his robe on the stand, walked in and saw his son standing there, fingers shaking over the silk blue tie, his class ring waving at each movement. He growled in frustration and placed his hands on his waist, tie dangling from one of his hands.

"Let me do that for you son." The Judge said gently.

"I got it Dad." Nick's eyes were tearing in frusteration. It was just a .freakin' tie!!!! He hated ties which was one of the reasons Nick loved his job so much was because of its casual attire.

"I know you got it." Cisco said softly trying very hard not to offend his stubborn Texan son, but the boy needed help. He was burying his wife today. "But I'd like to help you?"

"Fine!" Nick snapped handing the damn tie to his father.

Judge Stokes looped the tie carefully and finished it. His son was trying to avert his eyes, but eventually they met. Tears welled in Nick's eyes as he saw the sadness and helplessness in his father's eyes.

"Pancho, son I'm sorry you're going through this." Bill Stokes told him his own voice tight, "She was a really fine girl."

Nick crumbled into his dad's arms and sobbed, allowing pride to vacate the premises and comfort take its place.

Judge Stokes patted his sobbing son's back and quietly whispered, "First bleeding heart liberal who actually made sense to me. Maybe I'll vote Democrat in the next election in her honour."

Nick's sobs turned into small laughter and he pulled away grabbing some tissues off the dressers and wiped his eyes. He shoved more into his pocket for the road.

His father cleared his throat, "Best we be going."

Nick nodded and followed his father out.

­..to be continued..


	4. Chapter 4

**THIS WOMEN'S WORK**

_A tragedy strikes Nick and the only way he copes is by finding out why!_

_**Story type: Angst/Tragedy/AU**_

**_Characters: Nick Stokes and the team._**

_**Rated M for mature subject manner and violence.**_

_**Disclaimer**: All the characters, songs, and references do not belong to me, but I thank them dearly for their use._

_**A/N**: All mistakes are mine. I haven't been able to track down a beta, am willing to take volunteers if anyone is willing. _

_I did as much research on foresnics as I could, but I'm sure there are big mistakes. I'm still learning folks. Be gentle with me in your reviews._

Thanks to everyone who has taken time to give me feedback. Please feel free to PM me.

_CHAPTER 4_

The widow slumped in a chair in his hotel room mindlessly twisting the wedding band around and around his finger. He still wore the monkey suit, though the tie was long retired andhis shirt buttoned down to his navel.

He didn't bother to turn on any lights, thus allowing street lights to gleam through the gapes in the vertical blinds. The air conditioner in the room humming comfortingly while lights from the casinos surrounding the hotel lit the room so brightly there was no need to turn on lights.

The streetlights illuminated Nick as he put his feet up on the coffee table in front of him. Manners checked at the door long ago.

His parents checked up on him an hour ago and then headed off to bed. They had an early flight to catch and had told Nick they would drive him over to Brass's house.

The detective had dropped by and give Nick a set of keys to the house and told him that the fridge was filled with all his favourite foods. And he even cleaned the guest room for him.

Nick stood up and stretched groaning as his muscles welcome the relief, the dress shirt escaping his pants, and stared out the windows, arms folded.

Nick peered through the blinds at the hustling and bustling of the Vegas streets. He simply stared out the window at the activity below him. People milling about their business, life seemingly normal for them. He watched tourists checking out casinos; never letting up on their dreams for millions.

He flopped back down in the arm chair and stretched out his left arm to stare longingly at the gold band entwined around his finger. He wasn't ready yet to take it off. He had been married for such a short period, it hadn't really sunk in yet and now he was a widower; a new role to adjust himself to.

Sighing heavily, Nick folded his arms again, put his feet on the coffee and thought about the funeral. He barely followed the Priest's words, not that it mattered. Her parents insisted he do the service partially in French as an ode to Regine's French Canadian background. Nick could almost hear Regine moaning about the differences in dialect as the Priest only spoke Parisian French while she spoke Canadian French.

Nick had been too drained to argue and looked sympathetically at his colleague's confused faces.

Grissom simply looked at him with bemusement since being a Catholic made it easier for him to follow the rituals, the rights, the prayers and so forth. Stuff Nick couldn't even manage, but again her parents insisted on an elaborate Catholic service complete with the Apostles Creed, and so forth. Communion was also offered which Nick knew his wife would object to because non-Catholics wouldn't be able to take part in it.

He walked up and took it, challenging the Priest to say no. He didn't. Some of Regine's rebellious spirit had indeed rubbed off on the normally toe-the-line Nick Stokes.

Another thing the dark-haired Texan did was stealthily scope the grief-stricken crowds for any faces that eve had an ounce of suspicion. He searched for anyone who looked out of place at her funeral. He couldn't help it because at this point, anyone and everyone who was even remotely connected to his wife was a suspect.

At the top of his own list was Lee Leadbeater. And the fact that he wasn't at the funeral made him a suspect. He was her best friend; he should have been her pall bearer and not his roommate along with Grissom, Greg, Warrick, and few vets from the area whom she performed in a rock band.

A few other faces made him feel a little uncomfortable. Regine's arch nemesis the former owner of her vet clinic Dr. Robert Blainey and it took Nick everything in him to not throw the bastard into a statue of Mother Mary in the foyer. Blainey always found ways to make Regine angry with his little mind games. Especially after she took over the clinic he'd made a mess of.

As well as a few humane society officials were there-the ones Regine complained about bitterly.

Regine's coffin was beautiful. Nick, his parents and her parents had all agreed on white one with red roses. The only thing that they agreed with.

Nick stayed stoic during the funeral, flanked by his parents, his mother's hand squeezing his tightly. However, when Emily, her receptionist got up she chose instead to sing Kate Bush's 'This Women's Work'. A haunting tune with lyrics so piercing that Nick could barely contain himself. The combination of the girl's sweet, soprano voice and haunting piano rift pierced his soul to the core.

He wasn't alone, even the Priest was keeping his emotions at bay.

At the graveside, people brought their pets (the cemetery obliged, reluctantly) as Regine would have wanted. Dogs, dogs everywhere, her young kennel attendant Tre even brought his Macaw which squeaked a few times.

As much as Nick wanted to simply go back to the hotel and sleep, he stayed the course and hugged many a grieved friend and colleague at the reception held at Catherine's. But after the last guest had arrived, Nick excused himself to the guest room where he stayed for the rest of the reception. Greg Sanders came in once to give him a plate of food, but being the smart kid he was, he soon left Nick alone with a plate of hors 'oeuvres and a beer Catherine snuck to the Level One to give to his friend.

A close friend of Regine's had brought their dogs to the funeral and Nick welcomed them into the guest room where he finished the beer and they finished the food.

It was so hard for the dogs. They lost the two people who loved them the most and while they were being loved and cared for along with the cat, Dexter, it wasn't the same as home. After a while, the three settled on the double bed and slept until his parents fetched him to take him back to the hotel.

Nick stood up, walked over to the bureau and took off the suit and carefully hung them in the closet smiling at the site of the dog hairs that covered his suit. Mostly from Ranger, the Nova Scotian Duck Tolling Retriever; a dog so rare in the US that when he turned up at the humane society and was not claimed, Regine just had to have him even though he was 8 years old, overweight and had bad teeth.

Butterfly the Papillion-Jack Russell was a the small, brown and white wired-hair dog who resented Nick for some reason and would sit for hours on the leather couch glaring at the Texan who tried in vain to get the dog to like him, but mostly failed.

"_Papillions are one-person dogs." Regine had told Nick, "Mix in the spunkiness of the Jack Russell and you got one hell of a spitfire of a dog_."

Although a few months before Regine died, they'd grown somewhat closer. The dog tolerated Nick's presence. Probably because Nick snuck the dog treats that Regine had specifically told him not to.

Nick got down on the floor and started doing push-ups to tire himself out and to up his endorphins which he needed more then other, but his thoughts were still of the funeral.

It was so odd for Lee of all people to be missing, but Nick had overhead a conversation between his roommate and Brass that Lee had been missing shortly before Regine's murder. Brass had been empathetic but Nick could see the wheels churning in the detective's head.

_Was Lee missing on purpose, or could he be in danger?_

The police were looking for him, but being a paunch, brown-eyed, brown haired shaved to the skull Englishman didn't garner much attention from the public.

Of course, Regine's murder was front-page news only because of who she was married to. Nick had channel flipped earlier and there was his wife's picture on Nancy Grace again. The helmet-haired journalist who had people tried, convicted and executed long before evidence was even in the picture.

Nick's thoughts turned to Lee again. Interesting character Lee is. Or was... He was a fellow vet in the clinic who Regine had hired after she bought the clinic out from the previous owner. They were friends long before that. They were like-minded in a sense that they worked together on several causes and had a close friendship that bordered on brother-sister. Being an only child, Regine seemed to always long for kin to share time with which is probably why she had so many friends. She was the quintessential social butterfly.

Regine had met him while working as an Animal Protection worker during the summer while in Vet school. Nick always wondered why the two of them had never hooked up, but he figured by that time she was already seeing her first husband Sarath Persaud.

Sarath. Regine didn't talk much about him. It was too painful. Now Nick understood why.

But Lee and Regine were like two peas in a pod. Nick wasn't a jealous guy, but in the past few weeks, something changed in their marriage. The Texan started to feel like an intruder in his own house when Lee and Regine sat together in the kitchen quietly discussing some Cause they were involved while he sat off in the living room playing a video game.

Now he started to wonder if that was all a huge mistake. Could this so-called friend really been her nemesis?

Nick stopped his pushups at 200 and crawled into bed. He didn't need his friend Atavan tonight. He was so drained that he slipped into a deep slumber before his head the pillow.

"Regine Stokes was certainly the bleeding heart liberal." Sofia said going through the list, "She was on several committees for the environment, social justice, animals rights, Secretary to the Nevada Vet's Board and so forth.

Sara, Sofia and Grissom sat at the table in the break room going through the lists that Nick had provided of everyone she knew and they knew.

Grissom leaned back and nodded, "But that doesn't necessarily mean any of them had motive. These were all like-minded people. Environmentalists, social justice activists."

"But who and what was she advocating for?" Sara asked and continued, "I mean you don't just fight a cause for the sake of a cause. And if they were lobbying for peace and harmony, you'd think they'd be the nonviolent types."

"Not animal rights activists," Sofia answered, "They're known for being violent!"

Grissom tapped his fingers lightly on the tape and said, "Well, Catherine's managed to re-create the crime scene. Warrick made imprints of footsteps found under one of the windows in the bedroom. The screen was broken. We are not sure how the vase was broken in the living room. But since she was immediately bound up, we have to assume while the dogs were out of the house. A neighbour said the dogs were in the backyard, then for some reason, one of them went back into the house. It might have been the smaller one because the other dog is a bit chubby. Afterwards, the dogs were heard barking for about 90 minutes. The killer then beat Regine severely, raped her then slit her throat. There were blood splatter on the walls around the bed, and splatter patterns on the sheets, dripping down on the floor. This was a very fast, very personal and very clean murder as he left no evidence for us."

Sara listened attentively, "That doesn't explain how the dogs got out or the blood splatter by the door."

"Well, I suppose either Regine the dogs had been let out already or the killer simply locked the door, or he put them out and locked the dog door afterwards."

"Or," Sara interjected, "One of the dogs came back in while he was attacking Regine and he managed to get the dog back out. There were scratches on the back door."

Sofia asked, "Why didn't he kill the dogs? He likes dogs and not humanes."

Sara shook her head, "Maybe with all the barking, he or she didn't want to wait."

"Well if it had been the larger dog," Grissom pondered, "Then the bite wound would have been more severe and more blood would have been found by the dog door."

Wendy knocked on the door quietly and Grissom motioned her to come into the break room.

"I've run tests on the sheets." She sat down at the table and opened her file.

"Well," She grimaced, "The semen on the sheets was Nick's. They were very fresh. Ejaculation must have occurred about two hours before she died. Meaning Nick was indeed having relations with his wife before she left."

The group shifted uncomfortably in their seats not liking being privy to the sac racy of Nick's marital relations.

Grissom broke the tension, "We wanted to make sure in case our killer got sloppy."

Sofia shrugged, "He still could have killed her afterwards."

Sara shook hear, "I checked the mileage in his truck, it took about an hour for him to get to the crime scene. Greg verified that Nick called him for directions because he got lost. He was pretty embarrassed about it too."

"Happens to all of us." Grissom said nonchalantly.

"So why didn't he tell us at the time?" Sofia asked suspiciously.

"Because he's consumed with grief Sofia?" Grissom answered sarcastically his eyes narrowed at Sofia's myopic view of the case. "What time did he radio in Sara?"

"About 1:10 a.m. and he got to the crime scene about 1:45." Sara continued diligently wanting Nick's name cleared. Wendy is there anything else?"

"Of course," Wendy continued, "Now the blood found on the sheets and around the walls match Regine's. But the blood by the doggie door was of an unknown male."

They all looked at each other.

"Did you run it through CODIS?" Sara asked eagerly.

"I did and nothing came back."

"If this guy had priors, it's not known. This might be his first sexual assault."

"You know," Sara asked, "Regine had this kid working at the shelter for her that Nick caught doing an investigation into some B&Es. She gave him a chance at the shelter."

"Speaking of which," Sofia piped up, "Has anyone gone through Regine's offices to, if the killer was someone she knew he probably visited her at both locations."

"I'll have Brass get a search warrant for the shelter and vet clinic to search the premises for evidence." Grissom nodded in agreement then he continued, "Sara, I want you and Sofia to talk to Nick about anyone he knew that had it in for his wife, or even him."

"Warrick mentioned those Mexican gangs Nick dealt with." Sara asked.

"Well, I think if they were going to strike back, they would have done that immediately and it's been several years and Nick was only after the kid that killed the reporter, not so much them, but my hypothesis Sara is this is someone that Regine knew personally given the fact that there were no forced signs of entry and those gangsters would taken a hit against his family more so off the site of the house. But that doesn't keep them from off the radar."

Sofia nodded, "I agree, I'll talk to Vega about what's been going with those gangs for the past few years."

Sara thought for a second, "What about those paintings?"

"Nick gave us some names of the paintings, but this looks to be too personal for an art crime." Grissom said standing up, "I'll do a little research on them."

Warrick came in, "I got the imprints of the shoe, they were a man's size 13."

Sara nodded, "So we know for sure it was a male."

Warrick smiled, "Well you were pretty sure it was. Look I'm gonna do some shopping for Nick. Guy's hardly got any clothes since the crime scene hasn't been cleared yet."

The tall gangly man walked off leaving the info for the delighted Sara who then told Sofia she'd meet her at the car.

Grissom waited as he knew Sara wanted to say something to him.

Shutting the door of the Break Room, she turned to her boss/boy friend.

"I don't agree with keeping Regine's pregnancy a secret from Nick. He has a right to know."

Grissom nodded, "I understand Sara."

"You remember how Nick felt about you keeping the tape from the Walter Gordon case a secret." She continued shifting her weight slightly, "So why are doing this again?"

"Trust me Sara, I have my reasons. I'd like to be able to tell Nick after the perp has been apprehended."

"Griss," Sara laughed sardonically, "That might be a while."

"But I still think it is better to tell Nick after the fact." Grissom said, "And that's not a request Sara, that's an order."

"Fine, but I think it's a bad idea." She pivoted on one foot and took off to meet Sofia.

The humane society office was cramped. Warren wriggled his collar a bit as he dusted for prints around the office. The smell of feces and cleaning fluids were nauseating him. The dander from the feline and canine metropolis were creating road block in his sinus cavities. Goddamn, he was NOT an animal person.

Warrick was wishing for a moment he'd brought some decongestant. The kind that didn't knock you silly and make you wished for a bed. His grandmother's voice nagged at him about always being the tough guy and refusing pain killers.

The kennels where the dogs stayed were quiet, but as they were being escorted through by the young attendant on duty, the mongrels flew at their cages barking madly. Warrick gathered that some were barking to say 'hello' and 'pick me', but some were just barking for the sake of barking wanting to be let out of their little quarters. One Jack Russell dog was jumping so high that Warrick thought he was going to clear out of the pen, a Great Dane stood on high legs, front paws crossed over the top of the bars and simply stared at Warrick, tongue hanging out.

"I'd take you home man, but my wife would give us both the needle." He laughed. This was the first dog Warrick had ever liked despite his nasal passages tickling away.

The dog barked back. Warrick checked out the name on the chart in front of the cage: Snoop

"Yeah, you'd be my dog!!" He smiled and after allowing the dog to sniff his hand, he rubbed the huge head.

And immediately changed his gloves.

Greg rummaged through the filing cabinets, emptying the contents into file boxes to take back to the lab.

Outside the office, they could hear Brass interrogating a dark-eyed, dark-haired, pimply faced young man who Nick had helped capture doing B & E's and hacking into computer systems to change his failing grades at high school. Nick managed to pull some strings at the probation board to allow the kid to do community service at the Humane Society. The kid really worked well with the animals and Regine was thoroughly impressed. After his service was up, Regine simply kept him on because he was a good worker who never called in sick once.

"So Tre!" Brass asked, "Tell me about your relationship with Regine Stokes."

"She was cool man!" Tre shuffled his feet, his dark brown eyes barely seen through the mop of chocolate brown hair with streaks of blonde in it. Staring down at the floor. His scrubs hanging a little low on his waist showing his JOE Boxers, but thankfully the black t-shirt with white hand squeezing a hand grenade covered the fashion faux pas-a faux pas that often had Regine bawling him out.

"She only gave me hell when my jeans were too low. She told me if they hung any lower then my ass; she'd kick it until they were back up again. She's so old school about fashion, but she had great taste in music. She let me play drums in her band. Said I was the next Tre Cool"

Brass's stared him confused, noticing the longish hair and now knew why Nick called him "EMO boy."

"Green Day!" The kid said with a smirk.

"Oh sorry, my musical tastes are still. How you call it." Brass made quotations signs with both index fingers, "Old school you know the Stones, The Who?"

The kid humphed and took a drag on his cigarette.

"Tre, do you mind telling me your whereabouts the night of Regine's murder?"

Tre sneered, "I was here! And if you don't believe me, ask Iris, she was with me helping me put the animals we put down that day in the freezer."

"Okay, I'll do that." Brass wrote the info down, "I just have a job to do Tre, nothing personal."

"I'd never do anything to Regine; she was like my big sister." The kid said turning away to keep the cop from seeing his tears, "She was the first person who believed in me. Nobody else has."

"Do you know if she had any problems with any of the staff, managers, and veterinarians?" Brass continued.

"Well, she butted heads with some woman on the board of Directors, uh, a Kathleen O'Sullivan. She was a high class ho' who used to get on Regine's case about stuff."

"What kind of stuff" the stout cop asked.

"Oh I don't know. I just used to hear them bitching at each other in Regine's office. Probably about money. That's all those higher ups cared about. They buy her a painting, but can't be bothered to help save a dog whose leg got caught in a leg-hold trap some geezer put out to catch vermin. Regine wound up taking it to her clinic and doing the amputation on her own. I got the dog now. I named it George after some CSI guy on TV. He's a hound dog, kind of looks like the guy too."

Brass wrote the information down, chuckling at the thought of someone naming their pet after a forensics guy on TV.

"Do you know where I can find this Kathleen O'Sullivan?"

"Naw man, I just clean and fed the animals all day. Probably the receptionist, Iris, knows. That's what I liked about Regine. Some vets are kind of..well..they're a bit cold. Just signing off on the euthanizations not giving much thought as to how to save them. Regine was down to earth and not afraid to say what she thought and preferred to hang out with the kennel staff, the vet assistants."

Brass turned at the sound of dogs beginning their chorus of frantic barking as Warrick and Greg came out carrying boxes and bags of evidence. They nodded to Brass who took some boxes off Greg so he could go back and get his kit.

Brass smiled at the kid, "Thanks Tre you've been a big help."

The detective left the kid back with his smoke and went over to Warrick.

"Look I'm just gonna go talk to the receptionist. Kid said that Regine's relationship with the Board of Directors was pretty tense." Brass told the CSIs as he helped load the evidence into Warrick's SUV.

"Sure!" Warrick answered, "I'm gonna drop Greg off and see if Catherine needs help at the clinic. You know I kind of liked that Great Dane in there, think he likes me too."

"Must be your charm Warrick!! I've heard some of the ladies at the Lab say you have animal magnetism." Brass smirked, "But I'm sure Tina would toss you both out on the street."

Warrick smiled slightly, "Hmmm..I think I'll look into that dog after all."

Brass laughed in spite of himself.

Just then a silver BMW pulled up beside them. A short, fat man with blonde hair and blue eyes jumped in the car dressed in a designer suit, and ambled over to the crime scene folks.

He smiled and extended a hand to the crime scene folk.

"Afternoon folks my name is Jack Sleazebar, I'm the lawyer for the humane society." He shook each of their hands. All three noticed a sheet of paper in the other.

Brass was incredulous, "What do you mean lawyer for the humane society. What to defend the dogs on death row."

The lawyer laughed, "Not at all. I represent the humane society's interest in all things legal. The Board of Directors hired me. I've spoken with the Sheriff and he's okay's me to over see you folks while you search her office."

"Uh, we have a warrant to search her office." Brass snarled angrily remembering why he hated lawyers.

"Oh I know, and I'm certainly mindful of that, but I'd like to at least observe the procedure and ensure the Society's privacy is left intact."

Brass scoffed, "What one of your dogs in there has a sex tape lying around or something."

Tre laughed and saw the glare of the lawyer, pretended to cough from the cigarette and made a hasty retreat back to the kennels.

"Well let's be done here, shall we then we can all get back to work?" Sleazebar smiled.

"Certainly," Brass answered, "And you can tell me where you were the night Dr. Stokes was murdered."

"I was at a dinner for the Bar Association; you can ask my wife and my secretary, they were there with me?"

"And what was your relationship with Regine like?"

"She was…opinionated. Never was afraid to say what was on her mind."

"That a good thing." Warrick said to him.

"No always, I spoke to her a few times about keeping it down, but she kept on going. Must the Irish in her."

Brass laughed sarcastically, "Yeah, us Irish, we like to cause trouble."

"Well I didn't mean it that way." The man tried to smile.

"Whatever just gets me those numbers I'd like to get on the horn with your alibis immediately?"

The lawyer looked surprised, "Am I suspect?"

"You all are!"

"Guess I need a lawyer."

Brass laughed, "A lawyer needing a lawyer, that's a good one!!!"

Nick shut the door and went to watch a movie. Sofia and Sara had come back to question him more about his whereabouts that night and to get a list of people who might have had it in for Regine.

He did the best he could, confirmed he had gotten lost that night he went out to the desert and wrote up a another long list of many people he knew liked and hated Regine.

He picked _Pirates of the Caribbean-Dead Man's Chest_ and settled into Brass's E-Z Chair with a beer, readying for 180 minutes of sword fighting and drunken pirates.

Nick's smirked at the antics of Captain Jack Sparrow. He was a cool guy. Always rebelling, always finding ways to escape his predicament and always doing so with a bottle of Rum nearby. Nick wished he could be a pirate right now and escape to the seven seas with the dogs in tow.

But he was stuck Vegas, so that plan was out. But he could escape.

As entertaining as the movie was, he was restless and bored. Nick knew he was supposed to be on leave and he had to see the therapist before returning, but he didn't want to go to her because he'd have to deal with the crap again.

He just wanted some normalcy in his life, some routine. He wanted something of his old life back.

One thing he did do was getting rid of the uniform that was watching him. He balked at the idea of being watched so much that the Sheriff gave up and had Nick sign a waiver that if anything happened to him as a result, they were not liable.

Nick paced the house. He couldn't sit around and do nothing, it was not in his nature.

Now, Catherine kept on truckin' when Eddie was murdered, so why should he? He thought to himself as he grabbed his leather jacket and headed to his SUV.

He parked his SUV in its spot and then took the stairs up to the Lab, slid on a blue lab coat and snuck into the locker room. Nick was not ready to hear any more condolences and assurances that 'they would be there if he needed them.' He just wanted to get back to work. So he stealthily moved about the lab.

Relieved to have not run into anyone, Nick sat down on a stool in front of his computer and typed his password in. As soon as he was logged in, he began to search through his files. Greg had taken over most of them and seemed to be doing a passable job for a CSI Level One.

However, something seemed to be nagging at his head. Some curiosity. He sat back on his chair, the devil on his shoulder telling him to go for it, the angel on the other saying No!

The devil won, he impulsively typed in Dr. Regine Stokes into the Search Box.

Nick ran his tongue over his lips as the file came across the screen.

And there they were: the photos of her body shortly after the CSIs arrived. Nick had only seen her twice. In the body bag, and then later at the funeral which by then she had been reconstructed to look 'normal'. He knew Doc would not appreciate grief in his morgue and he managed to stay away from it as much as he wanted to go and say one last goodbye to her.

_He had done so privately at the funeral home. Before the Director closed the casket Nick was allowed to say goodbye alone. He let her parents say good bye first. Wincing at the sound of her mother's wails and then he had his turn._

_Nick had given his wife a kiss on her forehead, but oh it was so cold. Her skin didn't feel like skin. Like kissing a stone._

But now his CSI brain wanted to know, wanted analyze, wanted to find answers. And being the emotional one on the team, he wanted to know the answer to the most important crime scene in his life.

Blinking hard, he composed himself and looked through the photos. Regine's eyes were frozen in fear, her body had been found nude for all to see. Bruises decorated her breasts, stomach, and face. Her neck mutilated completely to the point where anymore slicing would lead to decapitation. The shirt she bought at the last U2 concert coated in blood, blending in with the black and red logo of the Vertigo Tour was above her breasts, which were covered in bruises.

Swallowing hard, he went through each of the photos. Why he didn't know?

Shots of her body from various ranges covered the screen. Nick fought back the torrent of rage that threatened to overcome him because this wasn't just another victim, this was his wife. This was her body and with that came the intimate knowledge that for others appeared benign, but for him significant. The small smattering of freckles across her face, her arms, and even some on her legs and that wolf tattoo that he grew to love.

"_I hate these freckles." Regine whined as they curled up in bed._

"_Why?" He had his head cocked up on an elbow._

"_They're ugly."_

"_Maybe I should grab a pen and play connects the dot with them."_

"_I'll kill you."_

"_Then you'd have my team over investigating my murder. You'd be the prime suspect."_

"_I've watched enough of those crime shows to know how to do it clean."_

"_Just fiction, darling' just fiction."_

He shook his head and managed to regain focus on the evidence. There was no question about it. This was no random act of violence, but a direct, personal attack from someone who held an enormous hate-filled grudge against her and wanted her to suffer from some unknown misdeed against them.

One particular shot caught his attention. A shot taken from her waist down where a large pool of blood had form outside her pelvis, and it was a pool. The fucking bastard had raped her with a foreign object and ripped her insides so bad, she bled out.

_But wasn't that a lot of blood?_

_Was the weapon ever recovered?_

Photos of his wife on the autopsy table, every angle covered, bruises every where. By now Doc had closed her eyes and she looked more peaceful. The neck wound still gaping.

Her arms were badly bruised, consistent with a struggle. Regine had put up a hell of fight he had been told by Grissom.

It was consistent with her combative personality.

Nick had overhead a conversation between Doc and Grissom in a sitting room where they thought no one could hear them.

"_Yeah, those funeral directors did a good_ _job covering the laceration." Doc mumbled to Grissom who nodded in agreement._

He furiously blinked back tears as he looked at the photos of the house. No fucking way would he cry in the lab! No fucking way!

So he looked at some other photos. The outline of the walls where the pictures were, the smashed vase her first husband had given her, blood on the back door knob.

_Blood? Whose blood? _

He didn't see a wound on her hands. Sara had done a thorough job of getting every shot, from every angle of Regine's body and his photographic memory didn't bring up any shot of wounded hands.

He was about to click on the autopsy report when a voice startled him.

"What are you doing Nick?"

He spun around on the stool to face Gil Grissom who had surreptitiously entered the room. The Supervisor walked over, placed his hand on the mouse and closed the screen.

Then he looked gravely at the younger man in front of him. Nick started to say something, but Grissom held up his hand to stop him and gestured to follow him.

"Come to my office Nick."

The Texan slowly stood up and followed his supervisor to his office.

...to be continued

**A/N: I have a rabbit named Nicky**.


	5. Chapter 5

**THIS WOMEN'S WORK**

_A tragedy strikes Nick and the only way he copes is by finding out why!_

_**Story type: Angst/Tragedy/AU**_

**_Characters: Nick Stokes and the team._**

_**Rated M for mature subject manner and violence.**_

_**Disclaimer**: All the characters, songs, and references do not belong to me, but I thank them dearly for their use._

_**A/N**: All mistakes are mine. I haven't been able to track down a beta, am willing to take volunteers if anyone is willing. _

_I did as much research on foresnics as I could, but I'm sure there are big mistakes. I'm still learning folks. Be gentle with me in your reviews._

**WARNING: This is a very naughty chapter. Very naughty!!! Enjoy. I'm even jealous of this character.**

CHAPTER 5

"Nick, nothing's changed." Sara's brown eyes focused on the disheveled man in front of her as they sat in Grissom's office. Grissom sat behind his desk, leaning into one hand while Sara sat on the desk both hands folded around the file marked, 'Dr. Regine Stokes'

Grissom studied Nick. The man was a shell of his former self. His face was thinner as was the rest of his body, and his skin was pale with a good amount of scruff appearing. His eyes looked as if someone added a shot of raspberry juice to a glass of Bailey's. His cargo pants looked like an iron would have a field day, while his blue polo shirt looked like it would welcome a dip in the washing machine.

Nick's blood shot browns were staring nervously at one of his prized cockroaches in a small container munching away on some leaves.

"Nick have you seen your therapist?" Grissom asked taking the container and shoving it into one of his drawers.

"No." Nick's voice was flat.

"Why not?" Grissom kept his voice calm even though deep down inside he wanted to shake this man, "Looking through the file of your murdered spouse is not healthy for anyone's state of mind. Not even Catherine did that. Why would you do that to yourself?"

Nick shrugged, "I need to know what is going on with the investigation."

Sara exhaled a sigh of exasperation, "Nick I've told you from the beginning when we get a break, you will be the first to know. I know the waiting is tough."

Nick's nostrils flared at the placating tone of Sara's voice. A voice she used on many, many families wanting answers on the murders of their loved ones. And now here he was one of them. The voice he normally thought was compassionate sounded hallow and scripted.

"You damn right its tough!" He sat straight up in his chair, "The son of a bitch is out there walking around out there enjoying life when he should be on death row!"

Grissom watched the younger man's eyes blaze with hatred and vengeance, "You need to see the therapist Nick. You need to process things."

"It's not gonna change anything Grissom. My wife is dead and no GODDAMN therapist is gonna change that!!!" Nick banged a fist on Grissom's desk, making the bugs jump slightly and hide under their various, leafy homes.

Grissom gathered the containers and put them into various drawers, "But a therapist will process the emotions you are feeling right now. What you did that back there not only contravenes protocol, it is dangerous for your mental health. You need to process your grief."

Nick shot up and stood menacingly over Grissom, "I don't want to fucking process anything man!! I want to find out the fucking bastard who killed my wife and I'll do anything to fucking to do it." His voice cholked out the words.

"Nick calm down!" Sara moved around and stood beside Grissom who stayed calm despite the raging man in front of him who looked ready to plow him into the crime lab in the next state.

Nick sat down again, gasping, he placed his hands his over his face, running them, down, explosing his eyes' bloodied state before regaining his composure.

The Entomologist let Nick get his breathing under control before he asked, "Nick, this case is Sara's top priority, and she will solve it. You have no choice but to trust the process."

Nick stared daggers at them and spoke, voice laced with rage, "You know what it's like seeing my wife's body being on display for the whole lab? Grissom! Her private parts for every lab geek, CSI wanna be to look it, for every newbie to gawk at. Nick Stokes CSI, LEVEL 3's wife's naked body, so they can take pictures with their cell phone cameras and get paid handsomely by some tabloid magazine or yellow journalist!"

Grissom bit his lower lip nodding. Nick was right. The Supervisor would like to think that all in the lab were respectful of the rules around privacy, but there was always a bad apple in the lot.

As if reading her Supervisor's thoughts, Sara assured Nick, "I can talk to IT about limiting who sees the files to only those working directly on the case. I'm sorry you're right about that. Your wife deserves privacy."

Nick looked at Grissom, "Ecklie still has to have access? The Sheriff?"

Grissom shook his head, "Nick, I think you should know that Ecklie was set to move the case to the Days team for fear of conflict of interest. I asked him to give the case to Sara and I, with the others doing some leg work in collecting evidence."

Nick stared at the Entomologist, eyes wide.

Grissom continued, "If you you'd rather have people you hardly know looking at those pictures, then I can simply do so, but its probable that the investigation may take a bit longer, however, leaving it with us will limit any interruptions in this case. Ecklie as much of difficult boss that he is has been very supportive of our solving this case Nick and I will add he is married man himself and would probably understand why there needs to be secrecy around this. He's not that unreasonable; most of the time."

"Nick this is tough for families who have had this crime committed against their loved ones and having their bodies photographed in such a manner that privacy seems to be thrown out the door." Sara explained gently, "You do realize that when we catch the perp, a jury will have access to those photos too."

The Texan sighed heavily and slouched in the chair, "I know. I'm sorry. I'm…I'm tired..and…." He closed his eyes, rubbing his forehead with thumb and finger, feeling a headache emerging. SIghing he sat up a bit.

"Nick," Grissom said going pulling his ALEVE out and offering one to Nick who declined, "I promise that these photos will be treated with as much respect and dignity as possible. I've done so with all victims of crimes, and I will do so with Regine as with all those directly involved in this case"

Nick bit his lip tightly, and nodded, his tongue running over his lower lip.

Sara set the file down and walked around Grissom's desk and knelt beside the chair and took Nick's hand, "I'm gonna take you home now."

Grissom agreed hastily taking the file and taping it a bit on his desk, "You need some rest. You need to see the therapist and again. Ask him about Bereavement Groups."

"Last thing I need to hear about it is other people's grief." The Texan grumbled standing up rubbing his back.

"Nick, " Sara explained, "It helps to talk with people who are experiencing grief. They know exactly how you feel."

Grissom pondered, "Actually Nick, come to think of it, you'd be better served by meeting with others who are in your exact situation, victims of crime groups and such. I'll have someone from the Victim's Advocacy Office contact you about them."

Nick shrugged, "Whatever."

"And Nick, I think it is best your access to the Lab's files be suspended until you return and even after that, I think it is best that you're denied access to your wife's case."

The younger CSI slumped in his chair as Grissom continued, "Nick, I was told by Ecklie that if you involve yourself at all, it would jeopardize our case. Do you understand?"

"Yeah!" Nick confirmed following Sara out Grissom's office.

Neither CSI had much to say to each other on the way home.

He watched the wipers go back and forth across the Denali and stared at his wedding band. Rage was brewing in him like a pressure cooker.

Nick knew if he went back to the Psychologist it would be the same shit all over again. There would be talks of meditation and grounding oneself in reality in order to stop the rumination that goes with emotional pain and grief and frankly he didn't want any of that. He didn't want to ground himself because frankly reality sucked. His life had been a series of one trauma after another since arriving here in Vegas and just when things had turned around, they got fucked up again.

Nor would he allow those photos to ever leave his mind. Ever. He wanted to remember and needed to remember because when they caught the fucker, Nick would make sure that this person would pay and pay dearly.

It didn't matter why they did it. They fucking did it and they weren't getting away with it and if he had to turn into a Jack Bauer type figure in order to bring them to justice. He would.

It was as simple as that.

"Nick, we're here."

Nick looked around and saw that indeed they had returned to Brass's humble bungalow.

He quickly unbuckled his seatbelt as Sara told him, "I'll have Warrick bring your SUV back home. Okay."

Nick nodded and was just about to get out of the car when Sara suddenly said, "Nick."

He looked at her.

"I just want to say that..." Sara began hesitatingly then made the leap, "I was resentful towards Regine and I'm sorry."

He nodded, his eyes hard, "What did she ever do to you Sara?"

"Nothing, I guess, I was being protective of you is all. I've been that way since what happened to you. I care about you Nick, more then…more then you know. I just didn't want you to get hurt again." She waited for his response. The dark-haired man simply stared out the window before turning to her, eyes brimming with tears.

"Thank you Sara." Was all she got and with that he got out of the Denali and went into Brass's house.

Jim was heading out the door as Nick walk up to the door. The roly poly man was shoving his badge into his pocket, and petted the younger man's shoulder.

"Loaded up the fridge for you Nicky and I even stocked it with Coors too."

He "Take it easy, and don't let me catch falling asleep on the recliner watching Discovery Channel. The tread mill there could use a workout."

Nick laughed slightly, "Copy that!"

The sounds of 'Crikey she bit me' brought Nick out of his reverie the late Crocodile Hunter Steve Irwin wrestled an Anaconda to the ground. He sat up in the EZ Chair and rubbed his back.

Brass's place was sparsely decorated, as was the room Nick slept in. Brass certainly liked his crime books and the book shelves were shoved to the over flowing along with a hoard of DVDs from directors such as David Finch and Quentin Taratino. Nick didn't really feel like watching movies about murders, particularly the one 'Seven' by Finch where a guy's wife's head winds up in a box.

It was homey though, but at this point he didn't care much about the décor of Brass. Just the fact that the cop let him stay with him was generous enough. Nick tried to give him some money towards the bills, but Brass balked saying that he hoped someday Nicky could help him out if a crisis came his way.

Nick switched the channels around till he reached CNN with Anderson Cooper 360. The steely-eyed reporter spoke forlornly of the loss of habitat for Africa's gorilla as a result of development and civil war.

Nick set the remote on the end table. Regine had been in the Congo years ago shortly after vet school as part of an educational program to inform poachers of the dangers of their activities and converting them to tourist guides instead. At the funeral, one of her former colleagues talked off her forthrightness and anger towards the poachers' war lords and how they worried she'd wind up being another Diane Fossey.

He jumped at the sound of his cellphone ringing and reached over to the end table and picked it up.

"Hello? How are you? Oh. Okay,.you come on over, yeah midnight sounds okay. Brass is working a double."

He gave his caller the address and then clicked off the phone and set it back on the table while listening to assuring sound of Anderson Cooper's voice as he went on to describe the measures taken by the local government in training poachers to become tour guides.

Those lab photos flashed in his mind and Nick found the rage was starting again, that simmering boiling feeling that made him want to go outside and catapult the damn bird feeder so hard it would land smack on Hodges' head, but he wouldn't hear his visitors.

He tried to meditate and felt stupid. Regine always turned to her music for release from the stress of dealing with humane society politics.

And if they were both stressed, they'd turn to each other for release from tension, especially for Nick who until Regine thought he had his nightmares under control and never thought about bringing up his past to her until one incident made him realize that she knew more about him then he thought.

"_Nick, hey wake up!!!"_

_He found himself in a sitting position, eyes blurred a bit. He looked around for a second gasping and trying to catch his breath as his dream dissolved and reality ebbed its way back in._

"_Where am I?" He whispered hoarsely rubbing his eyes like a small child._

"_With me.." He turned and looked at Regine sitting beside him wearing a cotton turquoise tank top and boxer shorts, stroking strands of curls away from her face which was filled with concern, "Your soaking wet!"_

_Nick ran a hand through his hair and could feel the dampness all over him. He'd come over after a double and was tensed as hell as he usually was. Regine wasn't home, so he simply stripped off his jeans and got into bed and dozed off waiting for her. She'd left a note saying she had an emergency at the shelter and would be back soon. He waited for a while, but soon he was off to sleep and didn't even hear her come in._

"_Do you want to wear one of mine? I mean, I'm sure you could fit into them, they're one size." She asked sympathetically._

_Nick pulled the T-Shirt off and said, "Naaaww..that's okay…sorry..did I say anything?"_

_Regine smiled, "You just mumbled a few things is all .I couldn't make it out…the only reason I knew you were having problems is because I put my arm around your waist and you were really sweating up a storm. I thought you had a fever..or something."_

_Rubbing his nose, "Just stress from the job…"_

_She studied him, "It's more then that. I mean..this isn't the first time you've had trouble sleeping since we started dating.."_

_Nick looked down at the burgundy comforter and asked, "How many times?"_

"_This is the fifth time. I thought maybe you were just a noisy sleeper. But you sometimes say things. .It's no big deal." Regine told him sheepishly embarrassed, "It doesn't go on for long. Do you want to talk about it?"_

_Nick studied her facial expression and it dawned on him that she knew. His big secret. Well not a secret, just a forbidden subject matter._

"_Who told you?" He asked knowing how fast gossip travels and in numerous social circles._

"_Nick," She turned away laughing, "It was headline news. I just didn't make the connection until one of my co-workers told me. Then I just Googled and read some of the stories."_

"_How long have you known?" Nick sighed shaking his head._

"_About three months." _

_He looked at her again in surprise,"And you never said anything about it.."_

"_Well it's not something you bring up in a conversation, 'Hey I heard you were buried alive.." She chuckled then her face got serious, "And I just figured that if you wanted to talk about it. You would. Nick I know how hard it is to put painful events behind you, and it doesn't help when other people bring them up to you."_

_Nick smiled. Of course she knew. To this day, he still couldn't bring up her deceased husband. She flinched any time she said his name._

_He inhaled deeply, "It wasn't like I was keeping it from you. I just want to forget about it."_

_Regine leaned over and kissed him deeply stopping momentarily to whisper, "I can help with that and did I tell you that you smell freakin' hot when you sweat..."_

_Seduced, Nick gently guided her down onto the mattress and they continued their kissing. Tongues probing and hands moving to places now very familiar to one another after many, many hours of lovemaking in her bed; his bed; his truck; hell even in her office at the vet clinic on her desk, even the piano wasn't safe..that was awkward and noisey-the keys reverberating at each thrust._

_His hands went to work on the shirt; she sat up momentarily and helped him taking it off before lying down next to him while he toyed, teased and playfully bit her nipples while she giggled, "Stop that hurts buddy…"_

_Then she moved beside him and mumbled something about payback being a bitch while nibbled on his own nipples.._

"_Okay..Okay..no biting..hey I worked a case where this woman used to bite men for a living and they got off on it.." Nick laughed._

"_What was she a dentist?" Her eyes were giving him a 'shut up' look.._

"_How'd you know?"_

"_Wild guess..now make love to me cowbowy..hey when you gonna sweat a Stetson for me.." her hands were probing inside his shorts and enjoying what was coming to life._

"_Never..thought you hated stereotypes.." He sat up and started pulling down her boxer shorts._

"_Not when it comes to fantasies." She smiled as she lifted up her ass and helped him take her boxers off. Then she sat up and started to pull down his jockeys._

"_Ohhh…they do make everything bigger in Texas." She sighed mockingly pulling the cotton off his toned ass._

"_Cliché..darling..Grissom would love it though..he loves giving those clichéd remarks.." Nick laid back down beside her and pulled her close to him. Their arms encircled one another's nude bodies. They never hurried their lovemaking because as far as they were concerned they had all the time in the world._

_She looked at him for a second. "How come you and Grissom have so much tension between you both?"_

_Talk about ruining a romantic moment! He rolled onto his back again, arms behind his head, "Why do you want to know?"_

"_Just curious is all.." She sighed, "I'm sorry."_

"_Naw..don't worry about. It's always been like that..I don't know just some personalities don't mix is all. I'm not his favourite son, Warrick is and that's that."_

_She nodded, "Just thought after what happened you two would be closer."_

_Nick snorted, "Yeah. You'd think, but not really. I told you the guy who buried me was in on it with his accountant and his daughter murdered her because the lady took all her dad's money. Then the daughter offed herself. And all Grissom had to say after I told him was 'It's over.'"_

_Regine looked at him in surprise and disgust, "It never is over."_

"_Well that's all it was to Grissom; another case." Nick sighed heavily and rolled onto his back, arm across his forehead. "My kidnapping was just another case to him…"_

_She curled herself onto his chest. Nick could sense she was kicking herself for ruining a romantic moment, but he simply rambled, "I was under there for almost 24 hours..it.was as close to hell as you can get to. And when they found me, they had to stop because the bastard stuffed bombs under my coffin set to go off as soon as they moved me..so I freaked out..I snapped and lost it. I couldn't hear anything but my own crying and then all I hear is 'Pancho', my dad's pet name and I called my dad thinking he was there but there was Grissom's face through the Plexi-glass all blurred and he says to put my hand on his hand you know to try and reach me and so.."_

_Nick could feel his throat tightening a bit as he continued, "Anyways, he tells me not to move, not to stand..kind of funny hearing that now because I was such a goddaman mess by the time they opened the coffin I couldn't stand if my life depended on it..and …fuck I just wanted to touch something..grab something…I was fucking freaked beyond words..and the first person I grabbed was Grissom..And I just clung to him because I needed to feel something real. I need to feel something so I would know that I was getting out of there. I was. I just felt so relieved, but so fucking scared Regine, it was something I'd never wish on anyone."_

_Silence ensued as Nick sensed Regine digesting this information. He'd never talked about his ordeal with anyone other then the therapist and even then he had chosen his words carefully in order for the right forms to be filled and to be declared fit for work._

_He was surprised how easy it was to tell Regine and surprised by her quietness. She listened intently, her head on his chest stroking _

_Nick felt his throat tighten, and blinked furiously at tears that wanted to sprout not wanting to turn this moment into some mushy soap opera. The kind where the man turns into a major marshmallow during some sort of confession, but God this was a major event in his life and as hard as he tried to put it behind him, it still found a way to haunt him. Sometimes he felt like Harry Potter being chased by the Lord Voldemort of memories._

_Regine looked at him and smiled sadly, "And after all that all Grissom could say 'it's over'?"_

"_Yep!!" He said, throat still tight. He stared over at three-legged Dexter sleeping contently on the green wing-back chair._

"_I guess Grissom just doesn't get it."_

"_No."_

"_And probably never will."_

"_Probably."_

"_Nick?"_

"_Yeah?"_

"_How'd you manage to get by without peeing? I mean. Did you go you in your pants or something?"_

_Nick was taken aback by this question? He studied her broad, freckled face to see if she was serious and was greeted with a sly smile._

"_You're one crazy gal!" He burst out laughing. The tension in the room vanished as he pulled her close and started kissing her again, starting with her mouth, down her neck to her breasts._

"_C'mon Yankee! Conquer me!" She whispered in his ear then probing it with her artful tongue._

"_Regine darlin' your humour gets tackier by the minute.." Nick mumbled his hands and fingers getting down to work, "And I ain't a Yankee. You knowledge of American History is pitiful.."_

"_I could tell you a few Canadian facts, but you'd fall asleep." _

"_Probably.." Wanting her to shush so he could focus on bringing her to a major climax, but she had other ideas._

_She pushed him onto his back tossing it off the duvet and crawled on top of_

"_Whadya doing?" he gasped as she worked her mouth all the way down his chest, the red curls tickling the sides as her tongue stroked his ribs and then she moved down, stopping to roll her tongue around his navel. Nick hoisted himself on his elbows and watched as she continued her journey down, his breathing hitched, chest and belly rising and falling rapidly with expectations; wondering if she was going to, was she? Every so often she looked up at, gleaming. Then for a moment she stopped, took a deep breath and took him into his mouth._

_He laughed in surprise. Sweet Jesus! In the months they'd been dating, she'd never attempted this. In fact recoiled when he tried, but now perhaps to ease the somber mood, she took a risk and Nick was going to enjoy every minute. However short it would be. _

_Wave after wonderful wave overtook him as he laid back, rubbing, gripping the burgundy cotton sheets as every fiber of his being was lit up and tingled. He smiled slightly as she felt her hair tickling the oh-so sensitive skin around his genitals. He ran a hand through the tangled mass of curls, letting them slip gently through his fingers._

_She was very gentle, sucking as if on an ice cube. He would have loved her to pick up the pace, but he wasn't going to push it._

_It went on longer then he expected, but just as he felt he was going to climax then and there she stopped: Unfortunately._

_His dark brown's popped opened as she came face to face with him, flushed and a tad guilty, "Sorry that was all I could do.." She hunched over him, "Next time. I'll..go longer.."_

"_Jesus babe..that was fucking great..don't worry.." He gasped as he reached out and brushed away curls from her face, drinking her nude curvy body. Her eyes were filled with lust and longing as she sat up and ran her hands over his chest, fingers twirling around his nipples. She leaned back and kissed him, his hands ran through her, slightly snagging the tangles before running his hands up and down her back, enjoying the soft contours and curves of her body. _

_Nick was so hard and ready to go, but wanted to return the favour and he straightened up and moved her onto her back, watching her eyes for approval which he received. He kissed he mouth lightly and began to move down her body, gentling nibbling, sucking and licking her breasts then he butterfly kissing his way down to her naval and rolled his tongue around it smiling at her giggles and then he continued south until his tongue made his way into her._

_Nick relished in her gasps and sighs, his hands roaming around her generous ass, teasing and kneading. She moaned in pleasure as he moved his tongue about sensing her quivers._

"_Nick I can't take this anymore!" She finally cried out her voice hinging on hysteria._

_Abruptly he stopped and was on her and inside her body. She hung onto his shoulders for dear life as he thrust in and out of her at almost frantic, animal pace._

_This was the most intensive sex they'd ever had, as if trying to run from something unkind and unpleasantness that filled the room. _

_Nick felt her finger tips running up and down his spine, her tongue darting in and out of his ear causing him to cry out. Her breasts jiggled with each thrust. He kissed her neck when she laid her back on the pillow, arched it back and moaned. Everything was just blurred for what seemed an eternity as their bodies seemed fused into one. Nick surprised himself with his stamina, which was normally good but tonight he felt as if he running the Iron Man. Changing; position every few thrusts, every style tried until they settled back into missionary where he sensed she was hitting her plateau and thrust even harder, grunting with each push until she cried out; then with a guttural moan he released himself into her, eyes closed, jaw slack and then he flopped down on top her, gasping, exhausted, but exhilarated. _

_The room was filled with the sounds of their spent gasps. Gasps so loud that the three-legged kitty on the wind back perched over an arm woke up and stared for moment while Ranger, the Nova Scotian Duck Tolling walked up to the bed and sniffed one of Nick's feet, to which a gentle push with a toe ended that._

_Neither Nick nor Regine were ready to let go, both trembling, and clammy. He kissed her lips and face, encircling his arms around her head. She looked up at him and ran her hand lovingly down his face, tears coming out. He'd grown used to this from her. It was actually a sign that he'd performed very, very well. He chuckled at her._

_She smiled and wiped them away, embarrassed as usual. She tried so hard t be one of these 'sophisticated' women. But Regine wouldn't be Regine if she didn't do something quirky or out of the ordinary._

"_God Regine.." Nick murmured into her ear, "You're so beautiful…"_

"_You Sir..are fucking hot!!" She whispered back hoarsely._

_They lay that way for a while, not wanting this moment to end, contemplating a repeat performance when all of sudden Regine moaned, "Oh fuck!!"_

"_What?" Nick asked._

"_We…forgot something.." she whispered nervously looking towards the side table._

_Ear perked, Nick looked down at her and followed her gaze. He blew out a breath as he rolled himself off her and was pensive for a moment as the situation took hold.. _

_The condom lay on her side table, still wrapped in the package._

_Oh shit._

_For a minute, neither said anything. Nick felt his chest tighten with anxiety._

_Finally he asked, "Would it be the worst thing in the world if something came of this?"_

_It was actually a question aimed more at him then her. He was approaching 40 and his mother had nagged him recently about his not having children. And Regine's Catholic belief forbids her from terminating a pregnancy. _

_He turned to look at her. Regine had rolled onto her side and was staring at him. She placed her hands under head and answered, "Nope."_

The Westminister Chimes of Brass's doorbell startled him from his reverie. Nick sat straight up, grabbed his gun, and stumbled over to the door, back aching from long lengths of sitting in a chair.

He hadn't wanted to go to the gym, last time he was there he could feel the stares off the other patrons. It was shortly after the Nancy Grace interview. So his workouts now consisted of sit ups and push ups and a jog on Brass's treadmill. Not nearly as good as the gym, but it would suffice. Hopefully, he'll get out for his morning jog, soon, soon.

He took his gun off Brass's computer desk and walked over to the door, looked through the peephole, smiled and opened the door.

"Iris!" He laughed hugging her as soon as she came in.

Iris Hewson was stout, raven-haired women of 40ish with twinkling brown eyes and about 5 ft 2 inches tall. Iris worked at the humane society as their receptionist and had done so for many years, she'd lost count. Being a direct import from Dublin, Ireland, Iris had an accent as thick as a pint of warm Guinness. Nick often asked her to slow down so she could understand what she was saying.

Iris was well-liked and well-respected at the society. Even the notorious Kathleen O'Sulllivan liked her, probably because she was Irish.

"God I remember St. Paddy's day." Iris said settling herself down on Brass's couch, "She sang that tune so fast I thought that my toes were going to fall off and you were a lot of help sir." She playfully swatted Nick.

_It was St. Patrick's Day and Regine was singing Mary Mac by Great Big Sea- fast paced tune that had everyone dancing. Iris then pulled Nick to the floor and tried to teach the Texan some jigs and reels. Nick faltered with every step._

They laughed at the memory even the normally sullen Tre smirked and said, "I don't know why sang about marrying a woman."

Nick groaned, "It's a song Tre!"

"Nicky my love," Iris said still laughing, "I'm sure you're good CSI, but you're dancing leaves us cryin'

Helaughed slightly, "Yeah, poor Regine was so embarrassed, she kept hitting that damn drum and pretending she didn't see anything just kept singin' Mary Mac."

Iris placed a chubby hand on his knee, "Don't you be worrin' about your pets luv? I'm spoilin' em rotten!"

"Good to hear Iris," Nick responded hugging the gal, "Need me to spot you with some change."

"Good lord no, Nicky, my hubby's a distributor with Gourmet Pets, he brings backs loads for them all!"

Then her eyes filled with tears and she sighed, "God Nick I miss her. I mean she could play the bodhran like no other. Remember when She sang "St. Stephen's Day Murder" for you at the Dogs of Eads last Christmas."

Nick smiled at the memory of his wife on the stool, beating away at the goat skin frame drum singing to him and his colleagues. Warrick and Catherine looked quite confused, but Grissom chuckled knowing the meaning of the song about a family murder on the Irish equivalent of their Boxing Day.

Chuckling, Nick looked over at Tre who was staring around nervously, he invited the duo to come sit in the living room.

"So what did you guys want to tell me?"

They looked at each other. Iris encouraged Tre to speak.

"Well those guys who work at the lab with you were going through Regine's office."

"Yeah, that's protocol." Nick nodded.

"But Jack Sleazebar showed up." Tre bit his lip nervously, holding onto a black leather bag. His knuckles white from holding tightly.

"That lawyer that Regine hated?" Nick asked remember his wife's angry tirades about the sleaze bag attorney who nickled and dimed the humane society on every legal decision.

"Well shortly after Regine died, I saw Jack Sleazebar in her office, going through her things and stuff."

Nick raised his eyebrows, "Really, did you tell Brass?"

"Naw..I was too scared, I told Iris just today and that's why we came. And also because I have something to give you."

Tre handed Nick a black leather bag. It was fairly new only because Nick had just given it to her. Regine was not one to replace anything because 'if it ain't broke, don't fix it'. Whereas Nick just replaced things when they looked used and then dropped the old stuff at a local charity.

Having said that, Regine bought things from second stores all the time; including a jean jacket that Nick had just given away!!

"This is her lap top. Her password is n1ck with a one in it. I figured it out earlier." Tre shoved the bag at Nick relieved to have gotten rid of it-as holding onto it was scaring the friggin shit of him.

Nick zipped the bag open and looked inside and back at Tre smilng slightly to ease the boy's nerves but this was a serious manner. The kid could look be looking at obstruction of justice and with his notorious pass, the DA wouldn't be so gentle.

Hopefully, Nick could work this one out. He would.

"Why didn't you hand this over to the crime guys." He asked Tre like a coach to a basketball player-tough but understanding.

"She had it hidden." Tre fumbled with a dilapidated pack of cigarettes. Iris shook her head at him.

Nick stared at the youngster confused.

"I saw her slide it in this bag and hide it in the room where we do the Euthanasia's.

"Tre did you tell the police everything you knew, I mean you gotta tell them. Not doing so would be obstruction of justice." Nick told him firmly.

Tre began to bite his finger nail nervously, "I..heard this guy named Robert Blainey come in and yell at her about she's got some vendetta out on her and that he would see to it that the board would have fired and blackballed in Vegas. She told him that if he tried that, she'd out his past and that she everything she needed to do so. Sometimes late at night, that Lee Leadbeater guy would come in and they'd work on this lap top together. I think she found something pretty bad because the guy never came back."

Nick mouth tightened and his hands gripped the lap top.

"Tre man, you need to go see Jim Brass or Sofia Curtis about it. I mean, I'm not permitted to work on this case." The Texan repeated earnestly.

Iris squeezed the youngster's hand, "I'll go down with you but will he get in trouble cause he didn't tell them earlier."

"Naw, I'll talk to Brass tell him the kid was nervous and all." Nick reassured them, "And I think you should take the lap top with you."

"Uhhh..there's another reason you should probably look through the lap top." Tre piped up, "Umm..some home movie types..don't worry I didn't look..well..not too much."

Nick's eyes widened and he tucked the lap top back in the bag.

"We wanted to make sure some of her dignity would remain." Iris smiled then added, "I never saw anything luv, Tre told me. He's just a boy."

Nick nodded sheepishly, "Okay, Okay. You know what I'll take care of this Tre. I'll call Brass and have him pick it up okay. Your name will be kept out of it."

Tre sighed with relief and Iris smiled, "Thank you Nicky. And don't you be worrying about this boy. I'm looking after him."

"Like a drill sergeant." Tre mumbled then looked sideways at the stern woman.

Laughing Nick stood up and showed them the door.

"Iris, we'll have to do a pint sometime." Nick said.

"You betcha!" The short stout woman hugged the skinny Texan and gestured for the young man to follow her.

Nick shook Tre's hand firmly, "You did the right thing Tre. If you got more to tell me just do so."

Tre still looked nervous as if he had more, and being around enough suspects Nick had learned to read signs and body language that shouted out more information then what was verbalized by them.

Still, he didn't want to push Tre, because if he did, then the kid would flee.

Nick shut the door behind them and looked at the bag lying on the couch.

He knew he was supposed to call Brass right away.

And he would.

Soon.


	6. Chapter 6

**THIS WOMEN'S WORK**

_A tragedy strikes Nick and the only way he copes is by finding out why!_

_**Story type: Angst/Tragedy/AU**_

**_Characters: Nick Stokes and the team._**

_**Rated M for mature subject manner and violence.**_

_**Disclaimer**: All the characters, songs, and references do not belong to me, but I thank them dearly for their use._

_**A/N**: All mistakes are mine. I haven't been able to track down a beta, am willing to take volunteers if anyone is willing. _

_I did as much research on foresnics as I could, but I'm sure there are big mistakes. I'm still learning folks. Be gentle with me in your reviews._

**I'm sorry about the delay. It's been hectic. And I apoligize for the long lengths of the chapters. Please bare with me.**

CHAPTER 6

Grissom was buried in the file, studying the knife wounds on Regine's neck and drawing a conclusion as to what type of serrated blade was used: not your mother's kitchen knife that's for sure. A specialized knife used in surgical procedures.

He was about to go to his library and check a medical book when he was greeted by Conrad Ecklie.

"Do you have anything to report on the Regine Stokes?" Eckie asked helping himself to a seat not waiting to be asked.

Grissom sighed and looked up at the bald man's face. Ecklie had given he and Sara full reign on this case, but it was taking longer then anyone had anticipated. He closed the file and folded his hands over it.

He chose his next words carefully because Eckie was never big on Grissom's science theories. Until he had more information, he would.

"We've been sifting through the files. Nick was right, his wife never threw anything out. Now if she had been more organized, it would have been easier, but nevertheless, she was a great note taker. I'm getting a lot of information on one Dr. Robert Blainey who was the former President of the Nevada Board of Veterinarians. He seems to be a bit of a dictator."

"And Nick's wife called him on it." Conrad concluded.

Grissom confirmed it, "Her notes are quite detailed. She also seemed to question where the fees where going?"

Ecklie raised his eyebrows for a second, "A motive!"

Grissom told him, "There are quite a few people Regine went head to head with over a variety of issues, but there's some more intimate about Blainey. They had a relationship prior to their falling out. I don't know what the extent of the relationship is. We haven't been able to locate him since the funeral and he refused to give a DNA sample and we can't compel him to based on the fact they didn't get along because a lot of people didn't get along with Regine-well those who she was rallying against. She was kind of a Diane Fossey in that she was hostile to those who didn't see things they she did."

"I don't care if she was Hilliary Clinton for the four-legged kind Gil, we need some kind of physical evidence before getting a court order for a DNA sample?" Ecklie asked, "Are there others?"

"Plenty, but his name comes up again and again." He drummed his fingers on the file, "And that's where we stand Ecklie."

"Grissom, we need to talk about Nick Stokes, What do you want to do with him?" Ecklie asked.

"What do you mean?" The Entomologist asked, eyes narrowed suspiciously.

"He's been off for six weeks now. Now the Lab is generous about bereavement leaves, but this is quite lengthy. When will he be able to work. If he's ever going to."

"That's up to the Department Psychologist. But my guess is that yes he will. I don't have a timeline on it though." Grissom countered nonchalantly wanting to throttle the man for being so indifferent to Nick's grief as he himself was willing to givethe man as much time as he needed.

"He hasn't been going to see the Psychologist Gil!" said Ecklie, frustrated at Grissom's free reign on his CSIs thus staying in the dark on their actions, "And the only reason I know is because I haven't received a report from her yet."

"Then we have a problem." Grissom surmised with a heavy sigh, leaning back into his comfortable leather chair

"Which you need to deal with because the if not, Stokes may not be able to ever come because she doesn't have enough to determine whether he fits the bill which means we'll be looking at training someone new."

"You want to fire Nick because he's grief-stricken over his wife's murder." Grissom asked incredously.

"NO!" Ecklie shot back defensively, "But his absence is clearly being felt by your team. Gil, I need to know where he stands.? If he has intentions on going on leave long-term, then we can have a temporary person fill in until he's ready to come back. Gil I'm trying to be a bad guy here. This is simply a human resource request."

Grissom quietly answered, "I'll talk to him."

Ecklie checked his watch, "Good. Then report back to me with his answer. I'd rather see Nick back on the team then a newbie, he's a damn good CSI and we need him and there's one more thing Gil?"

"What!" Grissom snapped wanted this meeting over and done with.

"I heard a rumour that Nick was in the Lab and looking at the files, is this true and before you answer, my source is very reliable."

Ecklie waited for Grissom's answer wondering how he will cover Nick's butt this time.

"Yes. He was in. Yes he did quickly look at the files of his wife's murder. I caught him and reprimanded him for it."

" And how so?" Ecklie leaned against the door, hands in his suit pocket eager to see what magical remedy to another of his CSI's faux pas Grissom had up his sleeve.

Licking dry lips, Grissom continued, "I've had the IT guys place a special password on the file that only I and Sara get access to; as well you and the Sheriff."

"Ahh..that explains the e-mail I received from you. I found that rather curious which is why I'm asking." He tapped the door smugly.

Grissom stood up a gesture to Ecklie that it was time to back to his paper trails now, "So now you have your answer. And I will take care of Nick."

The Assistant scooted out the door while Grissom stacked the file on his desk and hurried out and bumped into Sara.

"Where you off to"

"I need to see a friend."

Nick was rubbing his eyes, red and tired from long hours of reading. He could hear the sounds of the robins greeting the awakening world outside, but couldn't tear himself away from the lap top.

He'd hooked it to the printer, it was a bit of a formidable task, but he called Tre on the kid's cellphone and he walked him through it but it worth because as far as Nick was concerned, no one told him that he couldn't figure out what his wife was involved before she died. He just wasn't able to find out who murdered her.

Secretly, he hoped by using this loophole, he would.

He'd read masses and masses of e-mails and printed them off. A lot of heated exchanges between Regine and Blainey. Regine and Wally London a Casino Operator wanting to further his cause and quite a few tacit threats, and God it was gut-wrenching to know that she hadn't come to him with these threats. She was either too brazen or too stubborn.

_Regine: You fucking bitch! You have no fucking proof of what you are clamiing. None! But I have pictures of you and your young protege hanging around the Casino. Seems rather strange for a woman nearing 40 to be spending so much time with a kid barely twenty. I wonder what your crime fighting husband would think of that?_

_Wally London_

Wally London-he died after the funeral of a heart attack.

Nick's mouth was turned downward as he comprehended the kind of stress and pressure she was under. He knew Regine held no interest in Tre like that. He was too scared of her anyways. She had him on short leash.

_Goddammit Regine, I know we agreed that we can have some secrets between us, but you could have come to me and I would have kept you safe babe!!_

Then he watched the 'home movies' on the Windows Media Player that had Tre blushing

_Nick was lying in bed sleeping as the camera inched down to pelvis, covered by a blue duvet he'd recently bought them after convincing her that it time to give her bedroom a more manly look._

_A giggle then, "They do make everything bigger in Texas.."_

_A grunt came out of him, "Babe turn that thing off, Grissom was on my ass all night long..I need some sleep."_

"_Brokeback Mountain in the Lab?" She teased._

"_Hahahaha very funny, you have a sick mind woman!!"_

"_Oh I know and you love it!!_

_His sleepy, smiling face peered into the camera. "Sometimes…and turn that off, I've had enough people watching me sleep. Stalkers, my co-workers.."_

"_Oh but this is just for our personal use.." The video camera was placed on a table and soon she was in the camera_ _stripping off her turquoise tank top and diving onto him._

Nick blushed and soon realized why Tre got embarrassed. He cracked his neck, and watched as they shared a very personal and intimate moment.

Christ he so badly wanted to erase these things, but then the lab would know he tampered with evidence. A big no-no. He hoped Archie would only watch the beginning and then move on. He clicked to the next one.

Another one of Nick sleeping with all the pets in their king size bed, except for Butterfly; another with him watching TV while Butterfly sat on the ottoman glaring at him as was the Papillion's favourite past time-not willing to give up his position as Alpha dog.

"_Welcome to the Stokes Zoo.." Regine introduced them the camera on Nick, "And here we have a Texan. A beautiful creature of American descent…rating mutals rather similar to the bull.."_

_Nick sat up, hair scrubbed, eyes filled with sleep and put his hand into the camera ala Sean Penn._

"_I'm also sorry I bought that damn thing for you," he grumbled while grabbing their three-legged kitty Dexter and placing his feline face into the camera, "Presenting Tri-Pod, Vegas's three-legged wonder, APB put out on missing leg."_

"_His name is Dexter!" Regine scolded, "Stop calling him Tri-Pod!"_

"_You know," Nick said to the camera with a sly smile, "If you cut off his other two legs, we could call him IPOD."_

"_You're a sick man Mr. Stokes!" _

"_You bet Dr. Stokes!!!"_

Hearing her voice had brought tears to his eyes, his lips were quivering as the next clip of her singing a birthday tune in French to a young cousin of hers.

He wondered why she put them on her own lap top. Nothing turned up on the computer taken from the house by the Lab. She barely used that one. Even the video camera and the tapes were not stolen. Only the paintings-prints in fact.

Nick found a file called, 'The Band and I' and clicked on it to listen to her singing.

The clip had on stage dressed in an outfit Greg called, The 'Meg White Look'- a white tight fitting long-sleeved shirt with fitted red pants with her volumn of red hair flat-ironed out, hanging down the front of it partially covering her eyes cloaked in black eyeliner giving her a thorough punk rock look.

Regine was singing, "Dead Leaves and Dirty Ground" her voice grinding to a near pitch that would give Jack White a run for his money. Tre could be seen in the background working the drums that would make the female of the rocker duo proud.

Nick watched the clip till the end smiling. Damn she could sing. He asked her once why she didn't become a musician.

"_I can't write songs." She answered after the White Stripes tune_

"_I've seen you write songs."_

"_Remember Phoebe from Friends..that's what they would sound like."_

_Nick laughed at the thought of his girl singing similar, somber depressing tunes that barely rhymed or made sense._

Now tears were streaming down the Texan's face as his nose burned, the pain of hearing her voice overwhelmed him. He also knew that he should have had Tre take this over to the lab, but he couldn't bear to do it. The damn lab had seen his wife's nude body, and now they'd be watching their most intimate moments and he just couldn't allow it.

Goddammit, it was like that night happening again and again and a knife was repeatedly stabbing in him again and again. Why not just carve his fucking out heart and serve it on a dish to the murderer.

Nick rubbed his runny nose and felt the heaviness of reality set in. There was no choice in the matter, he had to give the lap top to Archie and have more of his private life with his wife exposed.

The Texan clicked the box close stretched in his chair and with a heavy sigh, stretched his arms upward. Then he went to work on gathering up the e-mails he printed off and sorted them chronologically and sticking into their appropriate files.

Humane Society Business

The Office

Animal rights

Environmental Issues

Strangely, the animal rights pile was the highest. Nick had simply clicked on the folders and printed off the e-mails only scanning quickly.

He'd sort it later.

Nick scrolled through more menus before coming to another media folder and clicked on it, but the sound wasn't great as and images bounced around as if someone had stuck a digital camera in their shirt pocket or cellphone with a video cam in it.

The images were of a man sitting next to his dog with a benevolent smile on his face. The sound was of poor quality. The dog was a brindle-coloured Pit-Bull.

Nick didn't recognize either the man or his dog. The Caucasian man looked like some of the greasy thugs that he often interviewed in the Interrogation room at work. The kind you wouldn't want to meet in a dark alley. He was dressed in wear typical of that kind, baggy t-shirt with some kind of logo on it, over jeans which Nick was sure if he stood up would be hanging practically around his knees with boxers on display, his hair was long and scraggly and he wore a goatee so long he had elastic wrapped around the end. A cigarette danged from his mouth that looked like it held teeth that hadn't forgotten what a toothbrush looked like.

Not the type of character Regine would involve herself in-deliberately.

He tried to listen to the sound, but Brass's internet server he'd hooked the computer into was a low speed so the sound came in ragged little details enough to drive Nick around the bend.

_Maybe he could bring Tre back and have him look over the images._

_Quickly, Nick stuck a disc in and burned the file onto CD c and then closed the file._

Then it dawned on him that if Archie went through it, he could tell by the dates when it was last open.

Shit! He ran a hand across his face anxious about what he could do next. then he shrugged, he'd tell them he burned the wrong file.

Nick started scrolling through menus to see if there was an option to change the date when the doorbell rang startling him. He looked over, closed the laptop again and picked up his gun creeping closely to the door, looked through. He frowned slightly as he slowly opened it.

"Grissom!" Nick greeted in not-so-pleasant a surprise running a hand through his tousled hair.

"Nick, may I come in." Grissom looked uneasy at the sight of a disheveled Nick Stokes one in pyjama bottoms and a t-shirt that sorely needed a washing machine. Dark circles cloaked his bloodshot eyes. He looked like shit.

Nick shrugged apathetically, "Be my guest."

Grissom entered Brass's house and heard the sound of Anderson Cooper from the TV and smiled.

"Gloria Vanderbilt's son." The entomologist observed.

Nick smirked, "Regine really liked him. I think he's a bit of self-righteous know-it-all."

Grissom sat on the love seat while Nick flicked off the TV and sat in the couch across from him.

"So Grissom, what brings you here? Good news on the case. Any leads?" Nick peppered the Supervisor with questions bordering on hope.

"We haven't found any solid leads Nick, the person who did this was pretty thorough." Grissom answered honestly.

Nick exhaled noisely, eyes filled with disappointment, "So why are you here then?"

"I wanted to check up on you and to find out why you haven't been to the Psychologist? You know you can't return to work without approval from the doctor." Grissom spoke matter-of-factly. Playing the stern supervisor hoping to outdo the emotional CSI as he always tried in the past and usually ending in uncomfortable silence.

He took a good look at the Texan and clearly could a man with bloodshot eyes, rumpled hair and disheveled look. A man whose world was destroyed in one and could say nothing why he hadn't followed department protocol.

"So I'm going to assume then Nick that you probably won't be coming back to the Lab any time soon?" Grissom asked again.

"I don't know what I'm going to do Grissom. Is Ecklie looking to replace me or something?" Nick asked in a tone that was preparing to hear the worst.

"No, he was wondering what your status was?" Grissom answered in an assuring tone.

Nick looked out the window, staring at the sparrows in Brass's stand-alone bird feeder that he had bought for the cop on his birthday. The poor birds pecked around looking for some morsel and sat mournfully on a bar that closed for other critters trying to take their food, but there wasn't even anything there to protect. He made a mental note to go for some feed.

Grissom went on trying to bring Nick back into the world human interaction a hard feat he knew as he was prone to go off into the world of insects and arachnids when life became a struggle, as does Nick in his world of birds, reptiles and mammals, "In his defense, he probably wants to know whether to keep our temp on longer or not. It's probably a human resources issue is all Nick. No one is looking to replace you. I..certainly would like to see you come back."

The younger CSI snorted, "Sure you do."

"Nick you are an excellent criminalist." Grissom told him, voice strained.

"And why do you pick now of all times to tell me. I waited years to hear that and you tell me only after this shit has happened to me." Nick shot back angrily.

Grissom contemplated for a second and then answered, "Timing's not my forte!"

Nick raised his eyebrows at him and retorted, "You think!!!" And continued, "My job meant everything to me, Grissom, earning everyone's approval meant everything to me. And what did it get me? A murdered wife. That's all it did."

It was clear to Grissom that Nick was in stuck in the stage of guilt and while he wanted to jump right in and say all the right things, it would probably be a futile effort. Elizabeth Kuebler would have a field day with this bereaved soul-letting him know that angeris the second stage and self-blame is a component of anger.

Pondering the thought, Nick spoke as if no one but he was in the room. "I keep asking myself what if I hadn't taken that call from Catherine, she didn't really want me to go out that night and that's not usual for her, she wanted to talk to me about something, but then the Lab called and like the good little criminalist I am, I trudged off to look at some skeleton in the desert like that bitch on TV said about me…"

He turned his head not wanting to cry in front of his boss. Again. Arms folded in defense mechanism.

Grissom felt helpless with Nick. He was clearly bereaved. Everything about him was indicative of it. Even the slow way he talked, not the normal upbeat Texan slang he came to associate with Nick.

Nick looked Grissom, "You know I still talk to her. I talk to her all the time. I dream about her at night Grissom. I still think she's gonna call me on my cell. I have it on in case she does. I'll be doing something dumb and I'll remember something she said or how she said it, or even how she would say it in French. You know I can speak French now?" He smiled as he trailed off.

Smiling Grissom said, "You have a talent for languages Nick. You can add that one to your resume."

"Yeah, we were in Quebec, Canada skating on some canal. I kept falling on my ass. We were there for a while and I started to pick up a few words and it was easy, it's similar to Spanish..the latin component of it I guess. We travelled all over Quebec. It's a nice place. We went into places where English is barely spoken, so I uh..wound up having no choice in the matter you know."

The Entomologist listened as Nick carried on, "I uh..even talk to her in French too..I think about her all the time. I'm fucked up man. I'm fucking trying to move on like I did after I was buried alive and I can't this time. I'm beat. My parents want me to move back to Texas and maybe their right. I just wish I hadn't taken that call to go out in the field that night. I could see she was a bit scared about something, but after we made love she seemed fine. So I went out and that was the last time I saw her alive."

Now it was time for Grissom to talk, "Nick. You couldn't control what happened that night. What happened wasn't because you failed, it's because someone else failed to be a moral human being."

Swallowing hard to relieve tightened muscles in his throat, Nick responded, "Is this where you'll give me the platitude of Regine wouldn't want you to quit, hey Grissom. Because nobody knows what she thinks, because she's dead and nothing anyone can do is gonna bring her back, but the least I could do is give you this."

He charged over to the table where a lap top sat, shut it down and closed it. Nick then walked back to Grissom and sadly handed it to him.

"Tre was by last night, he found her lap top and even though I told him he should have handed it over to you, his uh..previous run in with the law made him reluctant."

"I..uh.." Nick cholked back the stupid sobs, "Was looking at our home movies Grissom and..I..just..I couldn't.."

"It's okay Nick." Grissom interjected, "It doesn't matter. I'll have Archie go through it"

Nick avoided his Boss's eyes at all costs., "Ummm..there's some pretty personal stuff in there Grissom."

"What kind?" Grissom asked impervious to the sudden quiet tone in his subordinate voice watching the younger man rub the back of head-something he always did when he was nervous or embarassed.

Nick looked at the Grandfather clock in the corner of Brass's living room and answered equally nonchalantly, "Oh..you..know..just some..stuff.."

A small smiled formed on the entomologist's face, "Well, I'll make sure that he goes through it privately with no audience in tow."

For the first time since Grissom came, Nick smiled-eyes twinkling at a fond memory.

"A little risqué aren't you Nick?" Grissom chuckled tucked the lap top beside him.

The dark-haired criminalist leaned back into the couch, "Yeah, she was kind of bold girl at times-a real spitfire-made life interesting that's for sure."

Sitting back in the couch, Grissom said, "She reminded me a of a character in a book I read by John LeCarre."

Nick looked at him confused, "Who?"

"John LeCarre. He's an English writer who writes books about government conspiracies. This particular book I was think of is called _The Constant Gardner_."

"Yeah!" Nick nodded in recognition at the name, "Regine had that movie. It was one of her favourites."

"Well. The character I was thinking of was Tessa-the activist wife of a diplomat. She is a social activist working in Africa and discovers links between a pharmaceutical company's drugs and deaths of many impoverished Africans. She becomes with uncovering the truth to the point of zealously. In one scene in the movie, she grabs a box of fertilizer from him made by the company making the drugs and starts to scream at him about why he is using that product."

Nick smiled and looked away, "Sounds like Regine. She was obsessed with whatever this cause was that she was involved in! She changed after Riley died. She just become absorbed in it. I didn't feel like I existed any more in the marriage. But shortly before she died she seemed to come back to me. We were trying to have another baby."

Grissom nodded and asked pointedly, "That's why you were late to the crime scene."

Laughing quietly, "Yeah, yeah that's why." Tears were forming in his eyes.

"Nick," Grissom said, "She was a wonderful woman. She was good for you. I know that you had some horrific things to deal with since you came to Vegas, and by the time it showed. I almost saw the old Nick Stokes."

"Yeah," Nick replied sardonically, "The one that you used to be pissed off with all the time. I was too impulsive. Remember those days Grissom?"

An awkward silence fell between the two men as Grissom weighed the response to this remark.

"Yes I do Nick," Grissom answered, "You were impulsive; too impulsive. You learned. You grew like we all do and sometimes having someone come along who brings out the best in you can aide in that. Regine did that for you."

The Texan scoffed, and said in a hoarse voice, "And then some fucking bastard takes that all from me and for what fucking reason I don't think we'll ever know. I know some people thought she was trouble maker, but was she enough of a thorn to make someone want to kill her Grissom?"

"People who stand up to those with a lot of power can put themselves in a dangerous situation Nick." Grissom said.

"Yeah, but she could have come to me and told me she had problems.."

"She never mentioned anything? You never suspected anything?" Grissom pondered.

"I knew something was up her and that Lee were talking in French a lot around me. I got pissed because I thought it was fucking rude.." Nick shook his head, "I also got mad because I felt shut out by those two a lot. I don't know what was going on. An affair? I wasn't sure until just recently when I found out he was gay. Regine never told me that because she..I guess she thought I too much of a red neck and figured I'd hate the guy. It wasn't true, I couldn't care less, but she was loyal to that friend of hers. So.."

Nick folded his arms as his voice trailed back as he slumped further into the couch.

"We spoke to Lee's roommate after he disappeared." Grissom said, "He was very cooperative and let us go through his house bit by bit. Nothing was there; nothing on the computer that Lee owned. His roommate even volunteered to come in for questioning and everything. So he's ruled out.

"Steve wouldn't do something like this. He loved those two." Nick said blankly then he sniffled, "Naw..my gut tells me it was someone who was mad because he was doing something illegal or unethical and she called him on it, threatened to go to the authorities and so he quieted her and possibly Lee-why else haven't we heard from him? No man I know there was a lot going on there that I didn't know about, she found something on someone and they got rid of her."

There was an edge to the Texan's voice; a determination and Grissom could see the wheels churning. He sat closer to the edge of the couch and laid the facts out for him.

"Nick," He said, "I know you want answers and you want them fast, but if you have any plans of investigating this case on your own, it needs to stop, we cannot have you near this case at all. Not in the least. I fought for Sara and I to have this and your direct involvement would jeopardize our hard work. Promise me you will not get involved no matter how badly you want to."

Grissom stared earnestly into Nick's face. The younger man returned his gaze with a slow nod.

"I won't do anything Grissom." The younger crimanlist promised.

The entomologist heard the words, but could still hear the squeaky wheels churning in Nick's head. But that was the best he could hope for at this point. The rest was up to the younger Criminalist.

"Well I better get going. Nick I'll give this Archie along with the NC-17 rating." Grissom joked with a small crooked smile, hoping to clear some tension.

He was successful as Nick chuckled, "Archie will probably never look at me in the eye after this."

"Well you might brighten his day." Grissom stood up holding the lap top at his side, "He might even learn something new thanks to you Nick."

The Texan laughed embarassed.

Nick stood up, muscles creaking at every motion, and escorted Grissom to the door.

After it closed, Nick walked slowly into the guest room and curled back into the bed and sobbed. The pain of grief closing tightly around his heart, gripping it, squeezing it and taking it for all it can because grief is like that. A taker.

Then told that was enough pitying for one day and it was time to get on with his own investigation.

If Regine was involved in something she shouldn't have been, there was a reason. She wouldn't put herself at risk like that for nothing. Whatever it was? She was willing to sacrifice her own safety for it.

Sitting back at the table, he pulled the file out from undera book Grissom had left a few weeks ago on grief and thought about which file to go through first.

Go through the biggest one of course.

He read the first e-mail.

_To: Dr. Regine Stokes_

_From: Beverly_

_RE: DF, Pits_

_Hi Reg:_

_Just got a word that there's going to be an even on Saturday. I know you are not in any condition to go, but is there someone you could send?_

_Got a present here for the baby._

Next was Regine was response..

_Hey Bev:_

_I'll talk to Tre, it's probably better to send him anyways. He fits right into the riff raff there._

_Looking forward to the present._

_Regine_

Nick eyebrows knitted together.

_What event?_

The date was a year ago. Regine was pregnant with their son Riley.

Nick pushed Riley out of his head and read on.

_Hey Regine:_

_The clips turned out okay, but nothing incriminating. I know Tre is gets really nervous when he goes in and tries to be discreet, but unfortunately, all we get is his sweat shirt._

_Can either you or Lee do it._

_Bev._

_Hey Bev:_

_I'll talk to Lee, his boyfriend doesn't want him to do it for obvious reasons._

_Regine_

It was this e-mail that killed the infidelity theory.

Nick straightened in his chair.

And that was where his infidelity theory had gone.

_Why didn't she tell me Lee was gay? I wouldn't have cared._

Nick read more and more e-mails, but they were damn vague. Probably for good reason though

What the hell was Regine doing? What was she trying to uncover? Or cover?

After a while, his eyes were now bloodshot and he needed sleep.

Trudging into the spare room he was staying, Nick flopped onto the unmade bed and tried to sleep.

_Cut to images: Regine in stretchers, eyes filled with fear, battered face, swollen, bloody._

Nick sat up abruptly, sweating, shaking and quickly went over to the treadmill that Brass strongly encouraged him to use before it collected anymore dust and jumped on it, pressing the speed button ever few clicks until he was in a full fledged jog with sweat flying off him.

He ran that treadmill until he felt a cramp in his side and slowly brought the speed down to a slow walk before stopping, stepping off it, breathing heavily.

Nick went to take a shower, leaning up against the wall basking in the steam that rose up to ease muscles that were in shock from the sudden excursion.

Brass wasn't home, so he strolled through the house, towel hanging off his hips and flopped onto the chair at the desk.

He read through the e-mails once more nothing popping out. He'd have to go out and purchase his own lap top because Brass's computer was something out of the dark ages and wouldn't accept the CD he'd quickly made.

A wave of exhaustion suddenly hit him like a ton of bricks. Nick gathered up the files, slid the CD in and went back into his room and slid them between his mattress. Not that Brass was nosey. He barely saw the man in fact.

Tossing the towel aside, Nick found some boxer briefs and pulled them on then went to to close the curtains to block out the noon sun then he laid down in the bed and closed his eyes.

Within an hour he was sitting up in bed awakened from a dream filled with images of Regine's battered body on the bed, blood everywhere, her neck sliced, eyes filled with fear, her body positioned in a way that was clear that she was raped, a huge stream of blood coming of her, a pool below her pelvis.

Nick was gasping as his mind screamed with questions:

_What was she raped with? Would could cause so much blood to come out her like that?_

Nick threw the comforter off and paced the room angrily. He wanted to fucking know? _Why were Sara and Grissom keeping that part of the investigation a fucking secret? I have a right to know?_ _Did I not!!!_

Then Grissom's warnings about jeopardizing the case came back again and he sat down by the side table and took out some Ativan and popped it under his tongue and laid back on the bed.

_Maybe I should see that Shrink?_

Sleep drifted over him like a cloud.

_Tommorow._

_Maybe._

**_Thanks to everyone who is reading this._**


	7. Chapter 7

**THIS WOMAN'S WORK**

_A tragedy strikes Nick and the only way he copes is by finding out why!_

_**Story type: Angst/Tragedy/AU**_

**_Characters: Nick Stokes and the team._**

_**Rated M for mature subject manner and violence.**_

_**Disclaimer**: All the characters, songs, and references do not belong to me, but I thank them dearly for their use._

_**A/N**: All mistakes are mine. I haven't been able to track down a beta, am willing to take volunteers if anyone is willing. _

_I did as much research on foresnics as I could, but I'm sure there are big mistakes. I'm still learning folks. Be gentle with me in your reviews._

**A/N: This next chapter is for Sara lovers. I dedicate it to Jorja Fox who is rumoured to be leaving the show. I hope she doesn't.**

CHAPTER 7

Going through video clips on a lap top of a colleague's sex life has got to be the most uncomfortable part of a CSI's life.

But Sara had no choice.

Together with Archie, she had gone through the media files-all of them. And The CSI knew she'd never look at Nick the same way feeling guilty about part of the most personal elements of his life. Archie wanted badly to stop during their most intimate moments, but Sara felt she needed to see something.

"You know I'll just leave," Archie finally blurted out, "And come back when this part is over."

"Fine." Sara answered eyes glued to the screen not feeling the least big embarrassed. This was simply another case. Although a small part of her twinged at bit at the loving Regine was getting.

The Stokes' bed was near a window,. If someone was stalking Regine, they would have been peeping before. She narrowed it down on the screen and looked closely.

Nothing other then an angry looking dog staring at them: the dog that hated Nick more then anything in the world.

Sara sighed with frustration and exhaustion. Night and day she'd been eating, breathing, sleeping and living this case-driven to solve it; the drive being one part career, one part friendship with the final part being guilt-pure guilt.

Why Regine would keep these files on a lap top was beyond Sara's comprehension! However, the girl was a complete scatterbrain or perhaps she was planning to burn them, but never got around them.

Sara finally finished this intricate part of her investigation and burned the personal onto a history files onto a disc for Nick, knowing he'd want them someday, then she went to another media player on the lap top she had and that is where they had found the clips that showed crowds on onlookers, and sounds of growling, yipping, squealing.

That's when she notice the history on the Nero system.

A file had been burned already.

The brunette CSI raised an eyebrow in confusion. She paged for Archie to come back and let him know it was safe and to go through this file.

There were at least three clips that were shaky. One of a guy praising his dog, and others of just crowds of onlookers cheering to the sounds of animal screams, growls, therefore Archie would have to go through and try and clean it up. It would be hard. The video was shot between bodies and at a very low angle, probably from a cell phone.

Whose cell phone? She looked through the records and they were to Tre, Nick, Humane Society and her vet clinic.

Text messages a clue? Not much on Regine's phone nor ws there any video recording on it, but did have photos.

Sara picked up the Samsung and scrolled through the photos. Nick, the dogs, the cats, Nick again, more Nick. The CSI smirked at the photos seeing a playful side of Nick she'd rarely seen her at work.

Then she looked back to the clip. They would be downloaded from a website, but who knows but the question was: Why were they on there to begin with?

_Was Regine involved in an illegal activity that no one knew about?_

It didn't sound like the social activist she was, but Sara had met many contradictions in her long career.

Sara ran through the e-mails again. They were so vague. It was obvious that Regine was ultra-paranoid about being found out. A lot of slang which sounded familiar to Sara in her own animal rights journey. Terms like liberating were common.

_Was Regine involved in an animal rights group?_

Some vets took in animals that activists stole from the labs and treated them for free for 'injuries' sustained in experiments.

_Sounded like something Regine would do?_

Suddenly something clicked in Sara's mind as she pulled the list of suspects out from under the files.

Robert Blainey was the Director of Development at Research at Proportional Pharmaceuticals outside of Vegas. And they had been cited recently by Humane Society Officials for not providing adequate care of their lab animals.

_Eureka!_ Sara smiled brightly as a connection was made. A missing piece found that was leading the way to the completion of the puzzle.

However, she had to contain herself for she could already hear Grissom saying, "It's just a coincidence Sara."

But what did it have to do with the videos on Regine's lap top and nowhere in her files was there any mention of the citation by the humane society other then an e-mail to Lee about it saying, 'Yeah what else is new! Blainey will do whatever it takes to cut corners, so cutting the animal care staff in a lab is just one of not-so-brilliant ideas of making more money for his research.'

Archie peaked in, "Safe to come back in?"

Sara smiled, "Yes it is."

As Archie sat back down down Sara said, "You know I hate to sound rather callous given the circumstances, but Nick could give Ron Jeremy a run for his money!"

"Oh..let's not go there please!" Archie groaned as flopped onto a chair.

"I've burned them for Nick." Sara said holding the discs up for Archie.

"Thanks, so let's look at the clips that you paged me about." Archie began to scan through them.

While viewing the clips Archie told her, "It's definitely from a cell phone because of the low quality of the video. Cell phone videos are almost like low-end digital cameras and video cams."

"But," Sara responded, "They are easy to whip out then a camera or a video cam."

"Not to mention easier to hide if you don't want anyone to know your video taping it." Archie aid as he tried to sort the images out.

Sara looked at the people in the video. Definitely not a high end group, these guys looked straight of 8 Mile the Eninem video.

Not Regine's crowd, but definitely her little groupie's, Tre Smith, type.

Tre Smith-age 20-rap sheet of minor crimes. Cleaned himself up real good though through two things he shared with Regine: Animals and music.

Tre being the youngest on the list would be more inclined to use a video phone then say someone in their mid 30s like the missing Lee Leadbeater.

Still no clues as to his whereabouts which tops him on the suspect chart. Tre was up there too.

Which means Nick is pretty much cleared. His alibi is tight and the evidence had shown that Nick had relations with his wife and that she died shortly after he'd left.

Sara made a note to bring Tre in with his cell phone; if he still had it. The kid was sullen and full of piss-and-vinegar and had an absolute distrust of authority.

Archie looked at her, "It's gonna take a while to clean these up."

She stood up, "Yeah I need to go get Brass anyways. Page me when you're done. But before I go, can you tell if someone has copied these clips already."

Archie looked at the data from the Nero software she used, "Yes, some software programs such as the one she used, Nero, allow to create a project file which automatically saves details about files copied and the drive they were saved on. According to this, the files we just looked at were burned onto a disc at about 6: 30 a.m. today."

Sara groaned, "Nick burned these files before giving them to Grissom."

The Asian raised an eyebrow in concern, "Wouldn't that be tampering with evidence?"

"I don't know, we didn't have the lap top at that point, so it's a grey area." Sara answered, "I guess the DA could make a case that that we didn't know about the lap top and such. I'm not a lawyer, but the real question is: Why did Nick make a copy for himself?"

As she started out, she pulled her cell phone, looked back at the Asian and pleaded, "Archie please keep this information between the three of us."

"Absolutely!" Archie answered nodding his head earnestly.

Walking through the halls, Sara put in a quick call to Brass, asking if he could get a hold of both Tre and Blainey.

"I'll get a hold of Sofia to find the corporate dude while I see Tre. We got a personal relationship already."

"Thanks." Sara clicked off the phone and went into the Break Room to grab some carrot sticks and read through some more of the files.

Stretching out on the couch, Sara allowed her mind to wander and thought for a second thinking about the red-haired woman beyond her status as a vic.

She sniffed something and pulled at her cotton T, it smelled and her well-worn jeans felt grimey. Lord knows she hadn't had much time to do laundery with this case and she never trusted Grissom to do the way she like it.

Sara smiled. This is the kind of attire Regine wore like a glove. She had a rocker chick thing going. Hoop earrings and that hair that spanned down to her waist.. Nick loved his red-heads and that was probably the clincher for him when he started to date her. The curls were a bonus.

However, Regine and Sara never clicked and the CSI could never figure out why? She resented the girl for some reason. Distrusted her. Felt that she had too many secrets.

Regine certainly tried to be friends with her, but being the stubborn Sara Sidle was and was not one to let up on people easily.

And Nick was true to the song 'When a Man Loves a Woman." -the part about a man turning on his best friend if they put her down.

"_Sara what is your issue with Regine." Nick demanded in the Parking Lot one morning after a long tedious shift._

"_I don't know Nick." She answered nonchalantly, "I don't think she's your kind of girl."_

"_You don't know what my kind of girl is." He said packing his weapon._

"_I don't know Nick." Sara smiled, "Tall, blonde, thin, thinner the better. Regina's kind of ordinary looking with the average American's girl's waistline. A plain Jane so to speak. You don't go for those kinds of girls. Plus she's kind of got a rocker chick thing going."_

"_Sara!" Nick said laughing, "In the years we've worked with each other, have you ever seen me with one of those girls you just described to me. "_

"_Not on a long term basis."_

"_Then that's my point. And may I remind you, she's a musician. They tend to dress a little different."_

"_Well, she's a step up from Kristy Hopkins." Sara smiled innocently yet words with laced with venom, "She's not a prostitute, so that's a start for you Nick!"_

_Nick frowned. Kristy Hopkins was one of many of Nick's untouchable subject._

"_Who's Kristy Hopkins?" A voice asked._

_They turned and saw Regine standing there holding a Taco Bell bag. She'd obviously brought lunch for Nick. _

_She was dressed in scrubs a white jacket with real-life looking kittens printed on them. A photographer friend had specially made that jacket for her._

_Sara sucked her in breath and played it cool while asking her, "How long have you been standing here Regine?"_

"_Long enough Sara and thank you for pointing my..flaws..out..to Nick!" She answered, "I'm glad in your eyes, I'm seen in a fairer light then a hooker…and I'm French-Canadian, as well as American. So I'm an average French-Canadian-American girl as you are too Sara. From what I see I don't think you'll be hitting the stands on the cover of Maxim magazine any time soon."_

_Her eyes were dark, preparing for a fight._

_Sara glared back, "Oh really!"_

"_Yeah really."_

_Nick trying to stop the potential cat fight stepped in between the two angry woman hands held up, "Regine, babe, .she didn't mean anything."_

_Regina stepped back from Nick and shook her head holding up her hand. _

"_Nick, you dated a hooker?" A look of severe judgment and disgust was clear on her freckled face as she yelled, "And waited till now to tell me? After we slept together!! How fucking selfish is that!!"_

_Out of her peripheral vision, Sara could see some of the Lab rubber-necking the potential crime scene given Regine's state of mind. Hodges stood at his car parked directly across form the scene pretending to be examining it for a ghost scratch showing it to Mandy and Wendy who feigned interest._

_Nick stared hard at Sara and then said to Regine, "Can we talk about this in my truck? Reg. Please?" His voice strained as he pulled off his shades and looked at Regine earnestly, his hound dog eyes pleading for peace._

_Regine dropped the bag onto the ground raced back into her minivan jumped in and roared off. A small dog barking angrily at Nick could be seen on the other side of the window._

_Turning to Sara, Nick's face was filled with fury his brown eyes indignant a look he usually reserved for criminals, now he threw at her-his best friend._

"_Thanks a fucking lot Sara!!!!" He yelled oblivious to Hodges and the gossip crusade around him, "I don't know what your fucking issue is with her, but as far as we are concerned-that's finished!"_

_With those words, Nick jumped into the Denali and raced off._

_Shaken by Nick's rage and stung by the words, Sara watched the drama unfold, feeling a heavy weight fall on her. The lab geeks quickly made their way to the office trading glances with one another._

_Sara called to them, "If you want drama, go watch the Young and the Restless!"_

_She talked with Grissom about it that of all people was the least sympathetic._

"_You don't have to like her Sara, but you could at least treat her with respect."_

Sara lay back on the couch feeling a twinge of sadness as she recalled the day she and Nick parted ways. Their relationship then becoming nothing more then professional.

_She didn't why she slipped in the jest about Kristy Hopkins-Nick's ill fated trite with a hooker. She herself never forgave Nick for that bad judgment he made. In fact, afterwards she distanced herself from him for the time being not wanting her own career jeopardized by Nick's impulsiveness. _

_Maybe she was worried Regine would leave him nothing but pain, Sara never trusted Nick's judgment after that, yes it was so long ago. _

_And yet, it was more then that. It was almost like the green monster was lurking about when Regine and Nick appeared looking so damn happy. _

_Sara was happy too, so why didn't she want the same for her friend?_

But there was a silver lining in the fall out, Sara held a belief that everything happens for a reason-even science. And perhaps it was best that there was a strain between Nick and her as it made Sara far more objective about the case then had it been Catherine or Warrick.

If Regine Stokes was involved in something illegal, she'd be open-minded enough to see it. She wouldn't allow the anguish she felt for her friend's loss, cloud her objectivity.

She closed her eyes for a second and allowed herself a moment of respite off until she heard footsteps walk towards and she opened her eyes and looked up.

Grissom

Sitting up, she smiled and invited him to sit down beside her.

"When Archie and I looked first started going through the computer, he could tell that someone has already gone through the files Grissom." She told him solemnly.

"Nick said he'd looked at the files on the computer." Grissom answered.

Sara looked at him then said, "Would have helped if you told me."

Shrugging he answered, "Didn't think it was necessary."

"One of the files was burned onto a disc shortly before you dropped it off." Sara said her voice strained with fatigue.

The entomologist raised an eyebrow.

"And Nick was the last person who had the lap top Grissom." Sara looked at Grissom with concern and a bit of worry. Tampering with evidence was a serious offense.

"Well maybe he burned the personal ones?" He asked hopefully.

Sara shook her head, "No, it was a man with a brindle pit bull terrier as well the crowd scenes."

Grissom pulled off his glasses and rubbed the skin between his eyes.

"It's in real rough shape, but Archie's going to clean it up as well as some others on their that looked out of norm from Regine's..personal..stuff." Sara smirked at Grissom, "I've seen more of Nick then I ever thought possible." She wanted to desperately skirt around the issue of possible tampering.

"And that will stay between us and Archie. Am I clear about that?" Grissom ordered.

Sara looked at her boss/boyfriend, "I think you know me better then that Gilbert!"

"Just making sure, it took a lot of strength for Nick to hand this over to us given that he'd knew we'd have to look at those intimate aspects of his life. I'd like to protect that for him if possible." Grissom told her.

"I understand." She said, "And what about the possibility that Nick might have a burned copy of this."

Blowing out a breath, Grissom weighed the thought heavily before answering, "I'll talk to him about it. But we can't be sure it was him."

"He got the computer at about midnight and it shows that between midnight till the time you received it, something was burned from there Grissom. That's tampering with evidence."

"I'm not sure what to do about it Sara. But please leave it with me." Grissom pleaded. "Nick does not need anymore stress in his life."

"But it begs to differ Grissom. Why did Nick want a copy of these files? Is he doing his own investigation? That could fuck the case Gil! Big time!" Sara tried to keep her voice down, but fear was driving it up an octave.

"Sara, you stay focused on this case and let me worry about Nick." Grissom told her, "I'll take care of him."

"Hey kid!" Brass called as he walked over to Tre sitting outside the back of the humane society on a park bench smoking a cigarette.

Tre's dark bangs hung in his eyes making Brass wonder if he'd ever be mistaken for a sheep dog and put up for adoption.

"Just want to talk to you a little more about something. Do you mind coming down to the lab with me?"

The kid straightened up in defiance, "Am I being arrested?"

Brass laughed, "Not at all, I'd have two uniforms with me. You know the drill Tre. No I need you to come down and look at some videos with me."

"I told you I only looked at Nick and his wife doing the nasty man! Sorry I ain't got a girlfriend and I..kind of had a crush on Regine you know. Just wanted to see what she looked like naked. I mean she was old enough to be my aunt or a young man, but god she was so cool..and.." Tre rambled nervously.

"Uh..no..that's not what I need you for..but thanks for sharing that with me." Brass cut him off, "Just come with me. I'll buy you lunch while you're there."

Tre jumped off the table, "Let me go get my boss."

"I took care of that already kid, don't worry about anything and don't mention those personal videos of Nick and his wife again with me..I really would rather not know anymore about my friend that I need to.."

"Oh, sorry" Bangs blown out of his eyes, "Okay..I'll come down..but if I'm being arrested I want a lawyer."

"Yes Tre, everything will be taken care off." Brass lead the kid to his car.

Sofia sat in the waiting room of Proportional Pharmaceuticals.

The leather couch was cold and unfeeling as it was black.

Her piercing blue eyes scouted the surroundings. Black desk where an East Indian receptionist young enough to be her daughter sat answering a busy switchboard when she then looked over at Sofia and said with English accent in tow, "Mr. Blainey will be right with you."

Sofia chuckled sardonically, "That's what you told me ten minutes ago."

"He's in a meeting."

"I don't care; I want to see him now!" Sofia stood up and walked over, "If he's not out I'll have some uniforms bring him in for question."

"That won't be necessary!" A soft, monotone voice rang out complete with an accent. An upper crust type.

Sofia turned to see a tall, thin, bald as bald can be approach her dressed in a white-button up shirt, and black slacks.

His eyes were piercing blue, and he had no eyebrows to speak off.

Blainey reached out to shake Sofia's hand, "Miss Curtis, you wanted to speak with me about Regine LeBourdais? Or Regine Stokes."

"Yes, let's have a seat in the waiting room." Sofia decided then and that despite all her self-defense training, she would not be alone with this man. He was almost 7 feet tall and despite his thinness there was strength in that handshake that contradicted the lankiness of this guy.

He smiled in agreement and gestured for her to have a seat on the leather couch then he looked at the receptionist who cringed in fear of him.

"Rashmin, why don't you put the switchboard on auto and have a lunch break."

Without question, the young woman hastily left the desk darting gazelle-like out of the reception area.

Sofia smiled, "So what can you tell me about your relationship with Regine."

Blainey leaned back into the leather couch, one arm stretched across the back, "We go back quite a ways. She came to work in my clinic in New York after she and her husband moved there. She was quite popular with the clients. Then I left the clinic to open up one her in Vegas and then offered her partnership when her husband died."

"And that's before she forced you out."

Blainey smiled, "Yes, we differed on certain ways of managing the clinic."

"Yes, your putting a foot on a dog to give it an injection seemed to be a bit inhumane?" Sofia asked her smile as equally cold.

"Oh Regine just overreacted is all."

"And stealing money from the clinic for personal use was just an overreaction."

"I was never charged for that."

"NO, you weren't." Sofia said, "Nor was nothing done about the sexual harassment?"

"Sorry, Regine was not my type. I like my women long and lean." Blainey said leering at Sofia.

"That's not what I was told by some of the vet staff." Sofa answered sharply and professionally.

"They'll say anything Regine wanted them to." He scoffed, "She had a cult-like following with the kids in the clinic."

"Really." Sofia snorted writing down the notes.

"Yes." He answered heavily accented. Now the detecitive could decipher it. Boston. He pronounced his vowels sharply.

Sofia pressed her lips together before moving on, "Mr. Blainey why haven't you come to talk to us about your relationship with Regine?"

"Well, I'd assume you'd come to me given our history." He stretched his arms above his head casually.

"But wouldn't want to rule yourself out?" Sara asked carefully not wanting to put him in defensive mode.

"I have nothing to defend myself against." This guy was cool as a cucumber.

"Then come and do a DNA sample. We would like to compare it to some blood marks we found at the door."

Sofia noticed as he was stretching am old wound on one of his hands. It was on his index finger and thumb. She imagined a dog biting it, its incisors grazing at the digits.

"I got that while hiking." He told her noticing her stare.

"You hike?"

"Yes, and that's what I was doing the night Regine died."

"Do you have anyone to verify it with."

"No I don't. I was alone."

"Then why don't you come in for a DNA test?"

"Because I have no reason to and you have no court order to compel me to." He said, "And I'm sure you would have a hard time getting one given that I'm just merely a person of interest. Now I need to get back to work."

He stood up and motioned for Sofia to leave who then asked, "Do you know anything about the disappearance of Lee Leadbeater."

"No, I don't." Blainey answered harshly, "Now please if you excuse me, I need to get back to work."

Sofia complied her mind ticking. This man was more then a person of interest .

In her car, she called Sara and left a message on her voice mail.

"Listen Sara, how long do dog bites take to heal? I just talked to Blainey and he had a wound on his right hand-index finger and thumb? We could try and get a DNA sample from him."

"Tre, these were taken from a cell phone which we believe belongs to you." Sara asked showing the clips of the crowds and gang-looking guy with a dog.

He shook his head, "My camera doesn't have a video recorder."

Tre quickly laid it on the table. Sara looked through the menu at all the options and sure enough there was none for recording.

Brass asked, "Tre, do you know this guy on the clip." Brass laid some blurred photos on the table between them.

Taking one of them, the kid nodded, "Yeah we hung out years ago, but I ain't seen him sense. I don't know what his real name is, but his street name was Vicz with a Z."

"Was he in a gang?" Sara asked writing the information down.

"Yeah! But I didn't mix with him much." Tre's fingers trembled around the pack of cigarettes he played with, "I ain't seen him in years man! Regine would have fired me if I hung out with them again."

Sara smiled, "You..really..cared about Regine didn't you?"

Tre smiled, embarrassed, "She was so cool. So hot..I mean..for an older woman..she liked the coolest music."

"Were you in love with her?" Sara gently asked ever-so sensitive of unrequitted loves.

The kid looked down at the table, "I'm only 20..she wasn't interested in me like that.."

"She cared about you enough to get you out of trouble."

"Yeah, but she was in love with Nick." Tre said his face darkening at Nick's name.

"Were you jealous of him?" Sara asked wondering if there was more to Tre's shy demeanor.

"Yeah, but I like guy. Nick's a cool guy and he made Regine happy. That's all that matters."

Brass jumped in, "But you would have been happy if Regine divorced Nick wouldn't you of."

Tre laughed, "I see where this is going..look..I would never hurt her or Nick okay. So stop trying to pin this on me. I gave my DNA to you guys okay."

Jim and Sara looked at each other and nodded in agreement. The kid was clean as far as Regine's murder, but both could tell he knew more about the possible reason behind her death then he lead on and some street habits were hard to break including 'no snitching to the cops."

"You know Tre, if you really, really care about Regine." Sara looked into the young man's dark eyes, "You'll tell us everything you need to know. You're hiding something Tre and it's not gonna help."

Tre trembled, "I don't..know..anything.." His dark eyes were reddening, lips pressed tightly.

Something dawn on Sara as she smiled at him, "You look a lot like Nick you know. Kind of younger version."

Tre laughed slightly, "Yeah I been told that, but I ain't got the square jaw you know..that's kind of a southern thing.."

"You care about Nick too, don't you Tre. I mean if it weren't for him, you'd still be on the streets?" Bras asked.

"More like in jail!" The kid played wit the cigarette pack.

"Precisely." Brass retorted, "So don't you want to find out who killed his wife."

"I don't know!" Tre sobbed, "I mean..I don't..know..who did it. Got no clue. None."

That was enough. Sara nodded at Brass. Any more pressing and they'd need to bring a lawyer in and right now they had nothing to connect the kid with other the assumptions based on his backgrouind.

"Listen Tre, I'll have a uniform drive you home. If you know anything more please let us know." Sara said as she stood up, "And think about what we said. If you're scared to tell us just be honest. We can help you."

Wheels were churning in Tre's head, but the street survival mode was on full.

Sara walked out into the hall as Brass took the kid to find a cop to drive him hom.

She listened to her message from Sofia. Interesting. She'd find Doc Robbins and ask him about the healing period of dog bites.

**A/N: Nick is back in full throttle next chapter.**


	8. Chapter 8

**CHAPTER 8**

You know he got the cure  
You know he went astray  
Exit by U2

"_I'm sorry that I didn't tell you about Kristy, babe." Nick said as they outside their vehicles by Lake Mead. The sun shone brightly on the water's ripples made by the two of them throwing stones._

"W_as she pretty?" Regine asked testily throwing a small stone in the Lake while Butterfly rested on her lap glaring at Nick._

"_Yeah, she was pretty." The Texan apprehensively answered knowing where this conversation was headed._

"_Prettier than me?" She asked quietly._

"_No, Regine, she wasn't my type."_

"_She was enough of your type to sleep with?" Her voice was so cold that Nick could feel his heart beating quickly wondering if this youth indiscretion was going to haunt him for the rest of his life._

"_She was a pity fuck Regine. I felt sorry for her and I was young and full of piss and vinegar. I thought I could rescue her. She told me she was giving up the profession." Nick rambled trying to defend himself._

"And like the white knight you are, you believed her." Regine shook her head in disbelief at his stupidy, "_ What ever happened to her?"_

"_She was murdered by her John." Nick answered grimly. It still hurt to talk about Kristy. She was such a lost soul just looking for someone to love her._

_Regine looked at him in surprise and then went back to throwing stones, "That's usually what happens to those girls, when they aren't being murdered by their customers."_

_Nick stared at Butterfly. The dog glared back at him. Fucking dog!!!_

"_For someone who is so socially conscious Reg, you don't sound too sympathetic." Nick said almost accusingly._

"_I'm sympathetic. I just think it's a shame that these women seem to feel no other option for their lives." Regine shrugged, "A lot of women manage to get through life without selling their bodies to strangers."_

"_If it makes you feel better," Nick said, "I paid for it. Big time. I was a suspect in her murder for about 24 hours until Catherine managed to find evidence to clear me. Still, my reputation was smeared and Grissom didn't give me solo cases for almost three years because he thought I was too impulsive."_

"_Did you use protection when you slept with her?" Regine turned to look at him againnervously._

"_Absolutely!" Nick said in a tone almost pleadingly._

_She blew out a breath in relief._

"_Reg, babe..I..was young and stupid.." Nick told her, "I made a mistake. Don't be so fucking judgemental against me. What is the issue here? I mean she was beautiful, but not like you."_

"_Sara thinks I'm not your type." Reg spatted angrily._

"_Oh fuck her.." Nick snarled, "She's a bitch!"_

"_She's in love with you." Regine told him._

"_She's dating my supervisor."_

"_So! Someone can't be in love with two people at once."_

_Nick shook his head, "No, she's just can't stand it when someone else is happier then her."_

"_No, I think it's more Nick. Women can read these things and that girl loves you." Regine played with the dog's ears._

"_Even if you are right Reg, I wouldn't date someone from the Lab. I just like keeping my private life separate from personal life which brings me to our spat at the Lab. What were you doing there? I wasn't expecting you." He was just about to give her hell for embarassing him at the lab with her mini cat fight with Sara. He blamed Sara more for tha scene, but had it on his mind to let Reg know he would not in any tolerate drama at his work. That was his professional domain._

"_I had..something to tell you..and I couldn't wait. I probably should have waited till you were done, but I was too excited." Regine explained, her eyes lit up with excitement_

_Nick looked at her curously, "Oh really..tell me.."_

_The red-haired girl smiled, took Butterfly off her lap and leaned over to him so she was right on eye level with him._

"_I'm pregnant!"_

_Nick's eyes widened and the scolding was forgotten and he cholked out, "You..are…with..my.."_

"_No with Brad Pitt's baby!" She rolled her hazel eyes._

_The dark-haired criminalist was shaking hi head in shock and all he could muster was, "What's my mom going to say?"_

"_About fucking time!" Regine snorted._

"_Leave out the F word and you're probably right."_

_They smiled at each other like two little kid finding a cool toy under the Christmas Tree._

_Then Nick asked, "So that's why you flipped out on me at the lab. You're hormonal woman."_

"_Oh yeah!" She laughed, "And I'm only two months along, you got a long way to go Nick, make sure you know how to duck real fast!"_

_Nick leaned back into the tree they were sitting at. He'd followed her all the way to Lake Mead and pulled up beside her, ran to the window and pleaded with her to talk. _

"_Marry me Regine!" Nick uttered out surprised by these words himself._

_She looked at him, hazel eyes full of skepticism for a moment then asked, "Are you serious?"_

"_Yeah I am." Nick said, "I don't..I'm not big on having kids out of wedlock. I'm old fashion on some things darlin'"_

_She curled herself on to his chest, his arms around her and was pensive for a bit as she thought it over, then Regine looked at him and stroked his face, her finger lining his square jaw._

"_We haven't known each other that long Nick. What if it doesn't work out?" She asked._

"_And what if it does?" He asked her back._

_She thought it over for a few minutes._

"_Let's do it after your shift- Unless you pull a double."_

"_Not gonna happen" Nick swore, "Ecklie's cutting back on overtime. And if something happens, I'll ask Greggo to take over."_

"_Don't tell anyone..yet.." She told him excitedly._

The sun shone brightly and the temperature soared to almost 100. The Texan sat in the parking lot trying to build up the courage to get out of the truck to see the gravesite. Today he had no choice but do so.

Finally, Nick got out of his truck and slid on some shades. He dressed for this occasion finally putting some clean clothes, shaving the small beard that had grown; and even got his hair cut.

He wore an outfit that she would have loved: cargo pants and the navy blue Ralph Lauren polo shirt she'd bought him for Valentine's Day.

Today was Regine's birthday. She would have been 37.

Upon opening the truck in the back, Nick pulled out of a box filled with Styrofoam a white, ceramic vase filled with red roses, and then a smaller blue filled with baby's breath-they had come with the roses, but Nick decided on their own they would be just fine.

Carefully walking through the cemetery, he couldn't help noticing an old man sitting near a tombstone with a champagne glass toasting the tombstone shortly before reaching Regine's gravesite.

The man looked up at Nick, tears streaming down his crinkled face.

"My wife." he explained, "We were married for 52 years. I come here on our anniversary every year."

The Texan smiled at him sadly, "Fifty-two years. Wow! That's something to be proud of sir."

The man smiled at Nick in appreciation and turned back to his private celebration leaving the dark-haired criminalist to continue on down a few more gravesites before he reached his wife's.

A small, celtic cross laid made from polymer and steel rods stood there with an inscription served as a temporary grave marker. Nick had ordered asked to put something unique other then the usual crosses that were put there until the tombstone was made. He had to have it ordered, but had something in mind.

Kneeling down, Nick placed the vase by the marker and whispered, "Happy Birthday Reg. Jesus I miss you. I feel like my soul's been ripped out of my body and just waiting for it to be discovered somewhere."

Silence greeted him but he could almost hear Regine response, "Yeah, but if they found it would be a crime scene."

"You now how they say some people die from a broken heart Reg," Nick whispered, tears rolling down his face, his nose running, "Well I can believe it. I don't know how to get through the day. I feel like one of those lost dogs at the pound. I wake up wondering if this is just some sick joke someone is playing on me."

He heard a clinking noise and turned his to head to see that the old man was packing up; his celebration now complete.

"That could have been us Regine. Fifty-two years, we could have made it." Nick whispered through tears, "We would have gotten so old our teeth would have fallen out, but I would have still thought you were the most beautiful woman in the universe and I'm sure you'd still think I was good-looking with not a tooth in my head, and hair growing out of my ears and all that stuff that comes with getting old. I would have still made love to you even it hurt every creaky bone in my body to do it."

He ran a tongue over his lips and continued, "And some son of bitch took it all from us. And I'm gonna find out who did this Regine. I just wish..why didn't tell me you were in danger babe. Is that why you were acting so damn strange?"

Nick finally finished sobbing, and stood up and then moved and turned to a smaller grave site: tiny angel holding a lamb.

_Riley Nicholas Stephan LeBourdais Stokes_.

Riley..another goddamn loss in his life. His son, his boy. Another dream gone.

Nick relived the day he died.

_He was riding in a Denali with Catherine when the phone rang._

"_Nick," Regin's sobbing voice._

"_What's wrong babe?"_

"_You..need..to come to the hospital right away."_

"_The hospital..what happened!" He looked at Catherine in alarm._

"_Just come Nick. Now" Regine pleaded sobbing._

"_We're riding past it Nick," Catherine said, "I'll drop you off."_

_The young doctor looked at the distraught couple as they stood by the Incubator where their oh so tiny son bored four months too early laid, tubes running in and out of his almost translucent body; tiny chest rising and falling with each struggled breath._

"_I'm sorry. There's not a lot we can do. It's just too soon. We just have to wait."_

"_He can make it through this." Nick turned to Regine, "He's strong." He held his wife's shaken body to him trying to hold back his emotions._

_Regine nodded in shock at the sudden turn of events in her life..skin pale under the freckles. A car had rear-ended her on the way to work and the driver simply jumped out and took off by foot while Regine was dazed and bleeding from a gash on her forehead. She went into labour on the way to the hospital and the doctor had no choice but to deliver a baby boy._

_Regine said to him, "I'm gonna call the Priest to have him baptized okay. It would make feel better."_

_The Priest came immediately and performed the baptism with Maria stepping in as Godmother and of all people to step in as the God Father-Gil Grissom. Nick didn't know any other Catholic and he could still see the surprise and flattery on his boss's face who despite his own renunciation of his faith-agreed under these circumstances to step in._

_They each got a chance did get to hold him for a minute after the doctor pronounced time of death. Nick just stared at the features of the child and seeing that even in this early stage a chin similar to his was being formed. He kissed the tiny forehead._

_He didn't recall the funeral that Catherine hastily put together as after that his prime concern was Regine who was catatonic with grief._

_And to compound the grief Nick experienced there were no clues as to who crashed into her. The car was stolen from an old lady outside of town and the suspect was wearing dark clothes and had run off in socks._

_Now Nick had to wonder if they were connected or was it a mere coincidence._

"Hi Nick."

Nick turned at the sound of the voice, Maria was walking up to the gravesite.

Maria Chevaz was a close friend and client of Regine. They met in New York both had husbands who worked at the World Trade Centre-Maria's husband was killed in the crash. Like Regine, she decided to go to Vegas with her to take a position there.

"Maria." Nick said as he hugged her.

"I find I just can't get through these days. I keep expecting someone to call me and tell me it was all a mistake."

"Me too!" Nick sighed.

"How are you Nick?"

"Just going minute by minute Maria."

Maria's hair was dark and wavy, she reminded Nick of a dressed-down Sofia Loren with a few pounds added. She took in some of the strays that no one else wanted and Regine thanked her by providing her with a reduced vet bill.

The Spanish woman placed white and pink carnations on the two gravesites. Then she turned to Nick her face filled with concern.

"Take a walk with my Nicky, you're pale like snow. The fresh air will do you good."

Nick linked his arm through hers, and they walked along the pathway of the cemetery. He looked up at the sun the beamed down on them as Maria rattled on about her cats and talked about how Regine lectured her on big fat George, her oldest brown tabby and how it was unhealthy for him to be so fat.

"Oh but George just loves his treats." Maria laughed.

"Yeah he sure does. You know in the will, Regine asked the clinic continue giving you discounted vet service."

"I know she was so sweet like that. Who's taking it over."

"Oh, John Allan, the guy who plays base in her band."

"Oh he's so sweet, he's on the news program every Thursday talking about pet health."

"Yeah, Regine said he had a crush on me." Nick smirked. A lot of gay man seemed to crush on him.

Maria smiled, "Yes I think he does. He always said, 'Damn he plays for the other team."

Nick chuckled.

"Any news on Lee Leadbeater?" Maria asked.

"No." Nick answered.

"Do they still think he did it?"

Sighing noisily, Nick answered, "I'm not allowed near the case, Maria, but I'm gathering that they still have him on the list of suspects."

"No," Maria moaned in disbelief, "He would never do that to her. He was her best friend."

"A best friend who disappeared shortly after her murder." Nick explained trying to help her understand where his colleagues were coming from. Even he was still a suspect.

"I know, but he didn't do it. Lee is so gentle, he's so sweet." She said earnestly.

"Maybe we didn't know him well enough Maria."

She was quiet for a moment before they took a seat on a park bench in front of a fountain. Nick smiled at the birds who danced merrily in the water.

"It couldn't have been Lee," Maria moaned, "I mean he looked after her after Riley died."

"I know." Nick said sadly.

_After the baby's death, Regine was beside herself with grief. She took to her bed and there she stayed only getting up to use the toilet. She didn't eat and she barely slept._

_Nick was overwhelmed with the sudden responsibility of it all. He did all the housework; fed the animals; walked the dogs-avoiding Butterfly's nips at his feet- and worked double shifts even triple shifts._

_Maria would have helped more, but she worked as a social worker for Child Protection and that required hours as long as Nick._

_Then one day Nick received a call while he was in the Lab. Brass said some officers found Regine wandering by the Laundromat looking distraught. It was near the accident scene The cop who found her took her to straight to the hospital._

"_She's fine," Brass explained, "But she's not very lucid Nick."_

_Catherine had sat with Nick in the waiting room while a psych consultation was taking place._

"_Nick, I'm no therapist," Catherine whispered, "But she's probably got post-partum."_

_The Texan nodded grimly, "I've been trying to get her to a doctor, but she won't listen."_

_The psychiatrist confirmed Catherine's arm-chair diagnosis and prescribed anti-depressants for her._

_But she wouldn't take them._

_Why?_

"_Sarath took them and they didn't work." She said to Nick in their breakfast nook where Lee had made them a delicious English breakfast complete with crumpets and sausages. _

_The Texan was exhausted from a shift where another child had been found murdered. Why he was put on the case he didn't know. Thankfully Grissom pulled him off and gave a B&E to do._

"_That was different Reg!" Nick growled angrily weeks of juggling many demands wearing on his nerves. He slumped at the table running a hand down his tired face feeling the beard Cat had teased him about earlier._

"_It's my fault Riley's gone." She said quietly, her once radiant hair gone limp._

"_NO!" Nick shook his head vehementally, "It was not your fault!"_

"_Yes!" She insisted it was not evening touching the delicious breastfast Lee had worked on._

"_For fuck's sake girl!!! I'm sick of your self-flagellation!" Nick jumped up from the table and stormed off to the shower._

_After he was done, he donned some track pants with an Adidas logo and a white t-shirt, ran the shaver over his face, and went back to the kitchen to apologize for his behaviour._

_That's when he heard Lee talking to her convincing her to take the medication, and that it wouldn't be forever._

"_Those pills are made by him!!"_

_Him who? Nick frowned._

"_So we'll get some made by another pharmaceutical."_

_Regine sighed outlooud, "Nick doesn't get it..he just doesn't.."_

"_Sweetie! You got yourself a fine man there. Don't go giving him a hard time. Do this for him. If you love Nick as much as you say you do and you get a gleam in your eye when you say his name. You'll do it. We'll call some pharmacies and find out which drugs are not made by Blainey's crew and then we'll go to that one."_

_Nick was both thrilled and suspicious._

_Regine did find a pharmacy outside of Vegas that filled her prescription and within weeks she seemed to perk up a bit and get back to work._

_However, she was distracted still. Her moods fluctuated. And she refused absolutely refused to go to a pharmacy that filled prescription with pills made by a company which upon investigating Nick realized was Proportional Pharmaceuticals._

_Headed by her nemesis Robert Blainey._

"What are you thinking about?" Maria asked hands wringing a rosary.

"What do you know about Robert Blainey. Regine never told me much about why they had a falling out?" Nick asked..

"He is an evil human being." Maria said venomously.

"How evil?" Nick asked.

"He is the epitome of evil!" She spit out.

"Hmmm.." Nick mumbled, "Regine told you everything Maria. Is there something I should know about Blainey?"

He looked at the woman in the same manner that he saved for reluctant witnesses.

Maria's lips trembled, "One of the reasons she bought him out was because he was selling unwanted animals from the humane society to the lab he works for now."

Nick's eyes widened in shock, "Clark County put a ban on that years ago."

"So it's still being done. When Regine found outshe gave him two choices: Sell his share in the clinic to her or she would out him to the media, thus bringing shame to the humane society."

"Jesus!" Nick exhaled at this revelation. Regine had only told him it was a 'conflict of interest' that led to their falling out

"And even then the sexual harassment continued. He was constantly after her."

"She didn't tell me that." Nick looked at Maria in shock.

"She didn't think you needed to know." Maria shrugged, "She took of it."

"How come she never had him charged?" Nick asked.

"I think she worried that if he was arrested, his friends would stop donating to the humane society."

"So she put the humane society before herself." Nick concluded.

"She cared very much about the animals. She thought if she moved up the ranks she could eventually get rid of the director, but that didn't look like it was going to happen. They're very corrupt." Maria said sadly

"Those last few weeks she was alive," Nick said, "She seemed distracted. I thought she was going behind my back with Lee. Then I found out that Lee swung the other way, so now I don't know who or what she was up to with."

Maria looked at him smiling, "Nick she loved you so much. Believe me if anything I think she worried about you going behind her back."

Laughing softly Nick retorted, "I'm not like that. I'd never do that to her."

"But Nick it was hard for her," Maria explained, "She used to say to me that you were better looking then she was and that it was hard for someone so ordinary looking like her to date a guy that she never every woman in the room wanted to sleep with. She'd be on stage singing and could see some of the women checking you out."

"I know." Nick said recalling Regine's insecurities which shadowed their marriage.

"She was beautiful," Maria said, "I told her that so many times."

"She was that," Nick said, "And I used to hear some of the guys in her band talk about how good looking she was and how they wished they were in my shoes."

"I don't know maybe because she was little heavier then most women in Vegas." Maria figured.

"These women are all fake!" Nick determined, "She was real. Everything about her."

"I know that, but Regine was always insecure about her looks. Never liked how she looked. It was sad. Sarath kind of instilled that in her."

Nick nodded, "I know he suffered from BiPolar Disorder which for some people comes with erratic behaviour, mood swings and other fun stuff."

"And he used to sleep around. All the time." Maria continued, "And when she'd confront him about it, he'd tell her to lose a few pounds and he'd stop."

"Jerk!" Nick said mindful of speaking ill of the dead knowing his mother would be upset with him, but he didn't care.

"He was very sick." Maria looked at her watch, "I'm due for my shift Nick. Call me sometimes."

She leaned over and kissed him on the cheek telling him if there was anything he needed, just give her a call.

Nick looked up at the sky and saw some clouds rolling in and started back to his truck. By the time he reached it, it was a torrential downpour and he drove off slowly!

Regine loved U2 and seen them every single time they played.

Nick listened to the_ Johsua Tree_ as he drove and drove till he got to Lake Mead and simply stayed in his truck. Annoyed with the hopeful yearnings of Bono until they very last song called "Exit."

It was dark and mournful song. Almost like a heart beating picking up with each lyric until it practically exploded into Edge's guitar riff.

Listening to Regine's favourite band and sitting by the Lake allowed Nick to retrieve back into his memory book of the day he found out Regine was pregnant with Riley.

_Their kissing had continued and the excitement in his pants told Nick that the honeymoon was going to begin at this very moment._

_Nick paused to whisper, "What did the doctor say about…"_

_She finished in voice filled with lust, "Just to be gentle.." Her tongue flicked into his mouth snakelike._

"_I'll call Catherine and have her cover me for tomorrow…you know..she's my boss..I'll tell her the truth.." He wanted so badly to lay her down on the ground and make love to her until the sun went down._

_And with his luck a few friends from the police department would swing by and find them._

"_Fine..but no one else.." She said between kisses, their breathing taking on a faster and frantic pace._

_Nick ran his hand down the side of her face allowing to guide down to the V of her scrub, she gently took his hand and began to suck on each of his fingers. His breathing became shallow she finished the last index. He swallowed hard, stood up, assisting her up, she then lead him to her minivan._

_Butterfly was sleeping under her minivan as she pulled the door open and crawled in, he followed her after her._

_Nick sat in one of the single seats, pulling the arm rests up as she'd long ago removed the seats from the back to make room for kennels for the animals._

_Clothes were hastily pulled off each other in swift motions without thought given as to where they landed and the two of them were as naked as they day they were born as Regine knelt down in front of him taking her in his mouth. She'd gotten damn good at this, sucking on him gently like an ice cube. She still didn't hold out for long and that was okay, practice would make that perfect._

_Then she climbed on him and eased herself onto his rock-hard erection, slowly taking him in bit by bit, torturing him. Then she was locked on ready to go._

_Nick slowly rocked her; bringing his lips to her erect nipples, licking, nibbling, sucking and noticing a slight difference in the texture. Her neck was arched back and he could feel her hair that she'd grown even longer tickling his knees as she panted heavily, her belly rising with each breath. Once one breast was done, he moved to the other one offering it the same loving treatment. He slowly brought her upright and her arms wrapped around him, holding the head rest, her gorgeous hair cascading around her. Some of the tresses covering her breasts giving her a Venus-like look to her-Nick smiled at the comparison given how she didn't think she was beautiful yet he thought she looked like a goddess right now and now because he was balls deep into her._

_It took every bit of strength not to encourage her to ride him harder and faster the loving done to her breasts had excited her and she started to rock him harder, but he was restrained even whispering to her to take it easy and he would bring to her the same thunderous climax gently and slowly as he did in their normal animal like mating._

_Nick braced his still-socked feet as he pulled her even closer to find some way to hit that G-Spot. The one that brought her to tears..damn..that was a turn on..if here were peacock all the feathers would be on high over that.._

_The damn pager went off. His?_

"_That's mine.S"he whispered, her voice shaking slightly._

"_No it's mine." He groaned, "Who cares.." His voice was rising because he knew was going to come..but he needed to hold on till she did..it took all every bit of strength he had not to ram up into her. His hands pressed into that damn voluptuous ass to slow her, whispering for her to take it easy._

"_I'm trying.." She moaned into his ear._

"_Take it easy.." Nick reminded, "You're carrying Nick Stokes junior in there."_

_Then she grabbed the head rest behind him and cried out loudly and with a cry of esctacy and relief as he came holding her down tightly to him his body shaking with an orgasm that was sure to knock him senseless, his arms around her clammy body, his own sweat mixing in with her, .resting his head against her breasts. As he panted he could feel her kissing the top of his head. _

_Still panting like a damn dog, Nick looked up at her and smiled gently with a gleam triumph in his eyes as the tears flowed from her. She leaned over and kissed him._

_Unbeknownst to her, Nick had checked out the crying reaction from a reliable source-Catherine Willows- who smiled at Nick proudly and explained that it was the body's way of completing an intense journey or dance and that he should be quite proud of himself for bringing that out in a woman. It was a rarity even she hadn't found yet._

"_Take it that's a sign that I did real good babe?" He asked._

"_Oh yeah..as usual! You never disappoint Mr. Stokes." Regine said running her hand through his hair._

"_Same to you soon-to- be Dr. Stokes.."_

"_Yeah, just a few hours."_

_Then they noticed that the windows were steamed over and laughed at the sight._

_BEEP!!!_

_BEEP!!_

_Nick quickly licked his lips and still inside a quivering, gasping Regine he managed to reach for his pants that were beside on the seat and answer the damn phone._

"_St..St..Stokes.." _

"_Nick, it's Cat where the hell are you! A three-hour lunch break Nick!"_

"_Sorry Cat something…something came up.." And with those words Regine buried herself into his shoulder laughing_

_Even Nick had to restrain himself._

"_Yeah..I heard about your lover's quarrel,so did Ecklie by the way...Nick and I bet something came up. So wherever you are, get your pants back on and get over to I51..body found in the trunk of a bus. And tell Regine I hope she had a good time."_

"_Yeah..I..will.."_

"_I've been around the block Nicky. I know that sound in your voice and. I can tell when a man's been having a roll in the hay."_

"_Minivan!!"_

_Regine gave him 'I'm going to kill you look!'_

_Catherne chucked, "Whatever!.just get going I'll cover your ass this time since you couldn't do it yourself, but let this be the last time..got it.."_

"_Yeah I'm on my way. Thanks Cat!"_

"_You owe me one!"_

_He clicked the phone and looked at his lady love._

_Regine pulled away and looked at him, "I love you Nick!"_

_Running a hand through her frizzed curls, he smiled, "Me too darlin' Me too."_

The song had long ended and the sky had darkened to almost black.

Nick replaced the thoughts with one name: Robert Blainey.

Robert Blainey-former colleague at the vet clinic. Invited Regine to work with him after Sarath died.

Robert Blainey ex-husband of the humane society's director.

The scumbag Regine forced out of the clinic for reasons she never told Nick only that she said, "It was conflict of interest!"

Conflict of interest equals motive.

Over and over as Nick read those e-mails that name kept coming back and back.

Nick had only met the scumbag once and he didn't like the way he looked at Regine-as if he'd like to both fuck her and kill her at once.

Son of a bitch!

Nick decided to go pay a visit to Robert Blainey. They had some things to discuss.

**A/N The significance of the U2 song will be played out through the rest of the story. You'll understand by the end. You can check out the song on You Tube. **

**I know there's a lot flashbacks, but that's normal for people in grief mode. I also wanted to give reader Regine's state of mind before she was murdered and what was the driving force behind it.**


	9. Chapter 9

CHAPTER 9

_He used to stay awake to drive the dreams he had away._

_He wanted to believe in the hands of love._

Exit by U2

Grissom lay on the couch in his office, lights off, shades drawn, and one arm slung over his eyes that had become acutely sensitive to the noise and light around him: typical suffering that came with a migraine-intense and sheering pain.

Pain is a body's response to what ails you, caused by an enzyme called cyco-oxygenase (COX) who produce prostaglandins. Special nerve endings are sensitive to prostaglandins transmitting pain information to the brain thus informing the brain where the injured or inflamed area is.

All Grissom wanted now was for the Ibuprofen to start blocking the damn cells producing the prostaglandins and stop the message process.

The stress of the Regine Stokes case was weighing heavily on him and in addition, Nick reluctance to see the psychologist concerned him as well because it was clear to the entomologist that the wheels were churning in the Texan's head in terms of finding out who Regine's killer was and Nick was not one to let things go easily until he had some resolution. Some answer. Some closure-if that was ever possible.

Now it was very likely Nick had his own copies of e-mails and video clips and who knows what he would choose to do with it, but Grissom put himself in the younger man's shoes and concluded that he too would likely start his own investigation into the death of a loved one. It was humane nature to want justice for the murder of a loved one. It was the stuff of many, many books and movies.

Grissom thought of the John LeCarre novel _Constant Gardener. _The book, later made to a movie, about a British Diplomat searching for who was behind his wife Tessa's death. The man, named Justin Quayle, risks his professional career as well as own safety to not only find out who killed his wife but why.

It dawned on Grissom the parallels between the fictional tale and the case involving Regine Stokes. Both women were passionate social activists married to mild-manner men involved in government work and both men despite protestations from higher ups made no effort in taming their wives' muckraking ways.

Grissom recalled a Christmas party attended by the Lab and all its supporters including many a casino owner.

"_Hey Nick!"_

_Grissom and Nick turned to look at an old crony of the late Sam Braun approaching Nick. Wally Lambston-a casino owner who wanted to expand his enterprise to Lake Mead thus encroaching on environmentally protected land. _

_Nick smiled politely, "Yeah Wally what's up? Dead body in a casino? Not sure what to do with it?"_

"_No!" The man spat, his runny eyes in a blaze, "You need to control your luggage over there."_

_Nick looked at Grissom befuddled, "What luggage?"_

"_That!" He pointed to Regine dressed in a long, black sequined velvet dress, her stomach bulging with its pregnancy, and her hair in an upsweep._

_Nick smile insincerely "Is my wife giving you a hard time?" Faking sympathy as much as he could._

"_She needs to be reigned in Nick!!! She has no right to tell me where I can and cannot expand my business. This is America, we have our rights!"_

"_I'll go talk to her." Nick groaned, but winkling slyly at a bemused Grissom._

"_Good thing she's pregnant!" Wally sneered, "Maybe she can be a good girl and stay home instead of making trouble for everyone. If I were you Nick, I'd keep her pregnant. Maybe a few rug rats will tame her down"_

_Wisely, Nick ignored the old guy's misogynistic commens and strolled over to his wife and whispered in her ear. Regine's eyes blazed indignantly at first, but Nick continued to work his charm and they softened with his words and the two of them left hastily with the Texan smiling knowingly back at his colleagues._

Wally clocked off shortly before Regine's death, but that didn't mean there were others out there who in order to protect their interests-namely profit-would go to extremes if they felt that Regine was a viable threat to their industry.

But what industry would be so threatened by a local vet?

Whatever it was, it was critical for Nick to stay hands off. There was no getting around the matter. None!

Catherine was hands off for Eddie's murder as hard as it was for her, and now Nick needed to do the same. Stay out of it and let the Lab do its job.

On that thought, perhaps Grissom could have Catherine talk to Nick. She always had a way of getting through to him and probably would do so now.

The door opened and Grissom looked up as Brass walked into his office looking grim, flicking on the light switch.

He squinted his eyes at the squat man, "What's wrong?"

"They found Lee Leadbeater's body." Brass gravely informed him.

The entolomologist sighed and sat up in the couch sighing heavily, "Shit!"

Brass continued, "He was found hanging from one of the trees by Lake Mead., upside down, his throat slit from ear to ear."

"Regine was found with her throat slit ear to ear?" Grissom deducted.

"He's being brought in. Super Dave thinks he's been there for a couple of weeks. Body was decayed pretty bad; animals have taken some chunks out of it."

Grissom rubbed his chin and sighed, "Well, I guess we might be able to rule him out as a suspect. Maybe our case is solved."

Brass shrugged, "You're the criminalist."

"Speaking of which, have you seen Nick today?" The entomologist asked rubbing his back sore from the unforgiving couch.

"No, whenever I'm there he's either out or asleep. He's the perfect roommate." Brass answered.

Grissom didn't respond because his mind had caught onto the 'out' part.

"What about the uniforms watching him?"

"He didn't want them there anymore."

"And the Sheriff was okay with that?" Grissom asked annoyed with Nick's stubbornness.

"The Sheriff is okay with anything that saves the Department money." Brass smirked.

"Figures." Grissom mumbled then went on to ask, "So where are we on the Leadbeater case?"

"Catherine and Greg are processing the scene as we speak."

Cigarette smoke filled the truck as Nick puffed away allowing the nicotine to sooth his raw nerves. He had quit smoking years back, but stress and grief seemed to trigger that need again and he caved to it.

Sleep had eluded him of late. Not surprising given that he'd run out of lorazapam and not bothered to have the prescription refilled. That would mean going to the doctor and going to the doctor would mean talking about what was happening to him. And he didn't want to go there just yet. He had more important things to do.

It wasn't so bad. Least he didn't have to spend his nights dreaming of the happy life he'd had with Regine only to wake up in the morning and feel instant sorrow because she wasn't there beside him.

Nick was parked outside the office of Dr. Robert Blainey debating whether to go in or not all the while listening to U2's _Joshua Tree_ again. Listening to Regine's music helped him feel connected to her in some spiritual way.

Somewhere he had a CD of her singing _Still Haven't Found What I'm looking for_ and _Without or Without You_. However, not having those, he listened to the ever-earnest Bono sing away.

Dabbing the cigarette in the ash tray, Nick pulled out another from the pack, lit it and then rubbed the back of his neck easing the tightened muscles. He needed to work out again and bad! He longed for the adrenaline rush that he got from lifting weights beyond his capacity. Brass's treadmill just wasn't cutting it. He needed to get the endorphins going again and most of all work out the damn rage he felt before one of his fists made contact with someone's face.

Warrick had a Bow Flex at home; perhaps he could go over there and use it. Nick was still nervous about going his gym and facing the stares from its patrons after the Nancy Grace incident. He didn't want to hear the "I'm sorry!" and "How Are You" comments even if they were well intentioned.

Regine went to the local YMCA for her workout-whenever she got around to it. She wasn't one for fancy gym where the ladies wore their skimpy Lulumons. She liked the concept of a gymn where everyone from every walk of life could get the chance to exercise.

As far the skimpy workout gear she despised. as far Nick was concerned, her body would have looked hot in one those outfit. She was so curvy, very much like that dark-haired chick on the medical soap opera that Regine sometimes watched. It was too bad that his girl never looked at her body the way he did.

Nick remembered the incredulous look she gave him when he told her of an autopsy on a young woman with butt implants he witnessed, then the sly smile she gave when he told her she definitely didn't need them and that her ass was the first thing he noticed about her.

"_Not my dazzling personality?" Regine gasped in mock horror, "You are such a cad!"_

"_And you know it babe!"_

Her job kept on her on feet enough anyways. Nick could see it in her strong leg muscles and arms with well defined biceps. Regine was a strong, stocky girl who could wrestle down the toughest of Great Dane's to inject a vaccine.

She did start belly dancing while pregnant with Riley. It was supposed to help with labour; strengthening the abdominal and pelvic muscles. She was too shy to show Nick some moves even though he begged her too.

He finished his cigarette, snuffed it out and made his way slowly but determinedly to the office of Robert Blainey.

Catherine stood by the autopsy table with Doc Robbins, hands stuffed inside a white jacket observing the deceased Lee Leadbeater who lay on the table, eyes still open, a bloodied wound across the circumference of his squat neck and a sheet pulled up just under his arm pits.

She had only met the 30 something man once and recalled his twinkling brown eyes and British accent. His hair was chocolate brown, shoulders broad like a football player and he was very, very tall with a rubbery face like that readily broke into humourous expressions like Jim Carrey.

Lee was very charming and would be known as a lady's man, but Catherine knew he swung the other way given body language displayed between he and his partner Steve MacLean.

He was a loyal friend to Regine too. She had once said to Catherine that he was like the 'brother she never had'.

"COD is obvious, extenuation of the jugular, but. Given the dramatic weight loss I'd say our guy was nearly starved for several weeks. His stomach contents were comprised of white rice and there is a wasting away of muscle tissue."

Catherine wrinkled her nose, and frowned, "So he was held hostage?"

"Either that or he was on some kind of Survivor-type diet. Wife loves that show." Doc Robbins told her.

"He was found stark naked and hanging from upside down a tree." Catherine told him.

"Kosher style then?" Doc asked eyes wide as he rubbed his beard.

"Trying to make a statement?" Catherine guessed.

"The wound was very precise as if this person knew exactly where he wanted to aim. It was a very slow slice to the neck, almost like a surgeon cut. Very precise, very professional I might add."

Wheels were churning in her head. Usually when someone had their throat, it was swift fast movement and sometimes they missed the jugular and their victim survived, but this one was precise. Too precise, meaning someone had to have some kind of training in anatomy to know where to aim to hit the jugular.

"Mr. Stokes, Mr. Blainey is ready to see you. You can go on down to his office."

Nick nodded at the nervous receptionist and carefully made his way down the office taking in its layout. He slowly opened the dark with a gold sign Robert Blainey, Chief Financial Officer.

The office had a cold feeling to it. Everything was steel, grey and black. Steel sculptures on black furniture; definitely not something out of IKEA or even EBAY for that manner. No this office was specifically designed for its inhabitant.

On a book shelf, lined some pharmaceutical journals, pictures of Blainey with high profile figures in the community-including Sam Braun-awards for charity work, and a square glass sculpture with a butterfly in it beside a jar with an irradiated animal. Nick studied it closer wondering if it was human, animal? And it certainly looked out of place on the sternly decorated shelf.

"C'mon in Mr. Stokes." An accented voice instructed.

Blainey stood behind his smooth, mahogany desk smiling coldly.

Nick carefully stepped through the doors and walked over to the desk where Mr. Blainey held out his hand for a friendly handshake.

He refused to take it and simply sat down, Blainey simply shrugged at the slight.

Blainey shrugged and sat down, folding his arms on the desk.

Nick stared at him, eyes almost in slits. He'd seen many murderers in his life and their common denominator was the coldness in their eyes. After all, in order to take a life you can't have very many feelings.

Blainey's eyes were cold, calculating and unfeeling. He fit the profile.

"Well, Mr. Stokes, I finally get to meet you in person." He smiled- a smile as fake as a mannequin, "I'd heard many things about you. A crime fighter you are- good one too-next in line to the throne perhaps?"

Nick avoided the question and simply responded, "You weren't really part of Regine's circle."

Chuckling Blainey dismissed the comment with, "No that ship sailed along time ago."

"With good reason?" Nick asked him surprised himself by the coldness of his voice,

"Yes, Regine and I had are battles. Quite a passionate girl she was, almost irrational at times. Seemed to have a bit of Hyperactive Disorder, so it always surprised me how good a vet she was given how she was almost ADHD at times with other things, would you say?"

"She did have ADD." Nick defended, "And I think she did pretty well considering.

"And she was organized when she needed to be like when she was dealing with guys like you."

Blainey laughed and shook his head in almost a condescending way.

"Yes, she certainly had it in for me, cost me my vet license that girl over something that was quite legal at the time or so I thought. I had no idea Clark County had put a ban on selling wanted animals to labs. I mean, these were animals that were not suitable for adoption, so why keep them around, put them to use. Utilize them for the benefit of society, but Regine's society seemed to exclude people I gather."

"That wasn't the point Blainey," Nick said, "I read some of the files that Regine saved on her computer; these were animals that you had promised their owners to good homes."

"Research facilities are good homes." Blainey retorted.

"That's not the kind of homes they were expecting." Nick declared, "And it was illegal and you should have checked it out."

"Is that why you're here Nick," Blainey said, "To chastise me about something that happened a long time ago. We all moved -on didn't we?"

Nick scruitinized him a little closer and asked, "I don't think you did?"

Blainey laughed, "Oh you're not going to pin Regine's death on me, are you?"

"I don't know does it sound like I am?" Nick asked tersely.

"In a way you are. I've already been questioned by your friends at the Crime Lab Nick. I have an alibi, so it wasn't me."

"I'm sure you wouldn't want to bother getting your hands bloodied." Nick said his voice almost monotone.

"Well if that little boy toy of hers, Tre, hadn't said anything, I would still be in charge of the clinic. You know we were one of the most profitable vet clinics in Vegas."

"Yeah, and profits grew even after Regine got rid of you given how suddenly there wasn't a mystery of where the money went."

The bald man didn't say anything.

"Blainey," Nick asked "I'd like you to look at a picture I got off her computer?"

Nick pulled a piece of paper out of his pocket, unfolded and placed in front of Blainey who pulled some wire-rimmed glasses out of his pocket, slid them on and looked at the photo and looked back at Nick shrugging.

"Doesn't ring any bells with me?" He pushed the picture back at the Texan.

"You don't know that guy with the dog in the picture?"

"Why would I associate myself with such riff raff Nick?"

"I don't know. Like I said, you don't usually do hands on work when it comes to illegal stuff. I mean you paid those young punks who worked at the clinic a good chunk of money to keep quiet about selling the animals to the research lab, or calling families who have to get rid of Rover pretending they were looking for a pet all the while you would be taking them over to research labs. This one in particular. Is that how you got your job here?"

"Nick, I really think you should leave." Blainey requested indignantly, "I'm not well-versed on the law."

"That's for sure!" Nick retorted almost breaking into laughter at this Freudian slip.

Blainey continued, "But I'm assuming your being here is violating some kind of protocol at the Lab."

"Why? Because I'm hitting the nail on the head?" A tiny malevolent smile formed on Nick's lips realizing he might be on to something as he launched into full criminalist mode, his voice steeled and ready for a challenge, "Or are you still smarting after Regine's rejection of your sorry ass?"

Blainey was poised, unflinching and unaffected by Nick's intense questioning.

"You know," He said, "I never stood the physical appeal of her. I mean some guys go for those big, soft girls but me I can't be bothered with women like that who are too lazy to work on their bodies. Women's bodies are works of arts to be molded the way a man likes. But Regine seemed to have quite a following of guys. I was surprised when she got with you because you're so clean, cut, and so straight laced-not at all bohemian type."

"What's your point Blainey?" Nick asked feeling anger rise in him at the insults hurled at his wife.

"She went on and on about how I sexually harassed her. As if she would have that kind of luck."

Without warning, Nick jumped out of his chair leaped over the desk and grabbed Blainey by the collar and tried to pull him up

The bald man's eyes went cold like a shark capturing a prey as he swiftly grabbed Nick's hand in response before the Texan could reach him and squeezed it.

Nick cried out as he felt carpals, muscles and tendons being crushed together. This man had the strength of 20 men. He could see his fingers turning white as the blood circulation came to a halt under the immense pressure.

Blainey squeezed and squeezed, bending Nick's arm backwards. The Texan resisted the pressure which was sure to snap his arm in half, but instead Blainey released him.

Nick stumbled backward clutching his arm in pain to his chest, bending over slightly.

Blainey stood behind the desk, arms folded staring forebodingly at the younger man before him as he warned, "I do not wish to be harassed by you again Mr. Stokes. Do not come back to this office."

Glaring angrily with nostrils flared, Nick simply turned around and made his way to the door and walked out slamming it behind him taking note of the nervous receptionist.

Back in his truck, Nick pulled out another cigarette, lit it and puffed on it trying to comprehend what went on there.

Then he turned the CD Player back on and listened to Exit again needing a song that fit his mood precisely.

Blainey was one evil, son of a bitch. The comments about his wife's looks stung Nick to the core.

He said out out loud, not caring whether anyone could hear, "Babe I know he did it. I know it. And I'll find a way to prove it. Anyway. Just guide me girl from up there!"

_"Honey I'm home!" Nick called mockingly imitating Dick Van Dyke from the self-titled show._

_He didn't get a response, so he hung up his coat on the rack._

_After they married, Nick moved out of his rented town-house into Regine cluttered one that she bought when she moved to Vegas. It had gone power-of-sale and it was too good a deal to resist._

_Of course a power struggle ensued as to whose things went where, but like most of their fights, the came to a compromise._

_As Nick walked through the house, Ranged bounded up to him making the Texan thing of Fred Flinstone who always wound on his back fighting off Dino's overtly affectionate greeting._

_"Stay! Stay!" Nick told the gold-coloured dog who obediently listened._

_Butterfly raced up to also greet him in not so friendly way. The dog still hated him, angry that his status of alpha dog had been replaced by a two-legged creature of the male gender._

_Nick placated both dogs with treats from a nearby dog cookie jar._

_Once they were satisfied, he strolled through the house calling his wife's name. _

_She was sitting in the green wing-backed chair in their bedroom dressed in her green scrubs for work, the Robert Bateman painting behind her, reading something off her lap top. Her faced grim looknig._

_"Hey!" Nick called_

_She looked up startled, "Oh hi Nick." She promptly closed the lap top, set on the foot stool and walked over to hug him._

_Over her shoulder, Nick looked at the lap top curiously._

_"What's wrong?" He pulled away and looked at her. She seemed very anxious and not doing a good job of hiding it._

_"Oh nothing! Just read some disturbing news about a cruelty case here in Vegas. I'll talk to someone at work about it." She smiled and kissed him, "I'll go make some breakfast for you before I head off to work."_

_Nick nodded and watched her leave before turning his attention back to the lap top wondering if what she was telling him was true._

_He took her word for it. She'd never lie to him._

The guitar riff broke his thoughts as U2's Edge made that guitar rage with the feelings the song's character denoted.

If only he'd played bad guy that day and demanded to know what was on the lap top that had her disturbed, she might be alive today.

"I've gone through that video clip and cleaned it up for you."

Sara leaned over excitedly as Archie clicked on the Play button.

A sea of cheering bodies appeared in the screen as the sounds of growling and whimpering from what sounded like animals could be heard.

"I've gone through a database and these are definitely dogs that we hear. Two dogs in fact."

"What are they doing?" Sara's eyes narrowed a bit.

Archie shrugged, "I don't know. Fighting I guess?"

"Dog fighting!" Sara leaned back into the chair as an epiphany moment unfolded, "These were taken at a dog fight."

"Isn't that illegal in Nevada?" Archie looked at her.

"It's a felony" Sara cocked her head a bit, "What would these be doing on Regine's computer? She didn't seem the type to be involved in dog fighting, so why are these videos on her lap top?"

"Isn't that what that foot ball player was involved in?" Archie recalled.

"Yeah, lost millions in contracts; hope it was worth it." Sara mumbled.

Just then her cell phone went off, she looked at it and saw it Ecklie.

Groaning in exasperation she stood up, "Thanks Archie!"

"No problem."

Sara walked apprehensively down the corridor to Ecklie's office. She wasn't necessarily intimidated by Ecklie, more intimidated by her hostile reaction to him that almost got her canned a few years back.

Ecklie stood up and smiled grimly, motioning her to have a seat.

She sat down tightly mustering up the best smile she could.

"I got nothing more to tell you about Regine Stokes case other then we found a video clip of a dog fight on her lap top."

Ecklie nodded, "I appreciate the heads up, but that's not why I called you. Grissom is off consulting with Catherine over the Lee Leadbeater case, so I wanted to discuss some information I received today about Nick Stokes." His face became somber at the sound of the Texan's name.

Sara looked at him confused, "What about Nick?"

Leaning back in his chair, Ecklie told her, "Apparently, I received a call from Robert Blainey about Nick. It appears he was visited by Stokes and practically accused of being involved in Regine's murder."

Ecklie went on and explained what he had been told by Blainey to Sara's dismay. Nick lashed out at him, provoked him and tried to intimidate him.

"Someone needs to talk with Nick about this and I'm going to exercise a little compassion here and not be the one to do it. I would like you, Sara, to have a talk with him and emphasize the importance of his staying neutral in this case."

"I don't think given the tension in our relationship Ecklie that I would be the best one to do it." She politely protested.

"Unfortunately Sara everyone is tied up at this time. I know you are too, but given that you are the lead in this case you need to ensure this family member by interfering with the case he will thus jeopardize it. I'm not going to say anything to the DA because he will have a coronary over this."

Sara shook her head, "I can't do it Ecklie."

"Okay I'll do it then." Ecklie said, "And as sympathetic as I am to Mr. Stokes, I will lay it on the table for him that if he continues to conduct his own investigation, he will be terminated from his position."

"NO! Fine. Okay I'll do it!" Sara stood up, "I'm almost done my shift and I'll locate Nick and have a talk with him."

"We should do it in the Lab."

"No, I'll find him. I'll talk to him." Sara insisted.

Ecklie finally acquiesced to her request and she hastily left the Lab to find Nick before he did anything more to hurt himself or the case.

Nick stretched out in the EZ Chair watching 'Animal Precinct' on Animal Planet with an ice pack on the arm that Blainey had nearly snapped earlier today.

His mind raced with the events of today.

_Blainey somehow, some way is involved in Regine's death, but how do I prove it?_

The ice was not doing the trick, so Nick went into his bedroom and pulled some Advil out of his side table drawer and headed back to the kitchen to grab a bottle of water when the door bell rang, the chimes startling him slightly.

His gun was never far from him, especially after today as he grabbed it off the kitchen table and made his way carefully to the door, nervously.

Nick peered into the peephole, and was surprised to see Sara Sidle standing there shades over her eyes wearing a long, trench like coat over jeans and a red sweatshirt.

He opened the door and peered out curiosly, "Sara! what..what can I do for you?"

She smiled nervously, "Hi..can I come in and talk to you for a minute."

He eyed her apprehensively before answering, "Yeah, that's fine."

Sara came in and looked around, "Brass ain't much for décor." She observed the leather couches, few pictures on the wall, a desk with an old-style computer on it and a nice wide-screen TV in the living room.

Nick closed the door and set the gun on the table, "It will do." He motioned for her to have a seat in the living room.

"Do you want anything to drink?" He asked politely.

"No, I'm fine Nick."

Nick shoved his hands in his jean pocket and sat down in the love seat while Sara sat on the couch.

Sara gave Nick a quick once over. He looked rather nice today in his cargo pants and blue polo shirt; in fact he looked better then had in weeks. The faint scent of musky cologne hit her nose and stirred her for a second.

But the stylish attire didn't mirror the man in them. Nick still wore the look of a man haunted by tragedy, she could even see smidges of grey hair forming around the side burns near his ears and he definitely had dropped a few pounds from his already lean body. His veins were even more prominent; his face thinner making his strong jaw line even more pronounced.

He still looked great though, she had to admit.

She shook the intrusive thoughts from her mind and got down to the real reason she was here.

"Nick," She started stalled and then began again, "We..Ecklie asked me to come and talk to you about some information we received today."

"You have a lead in Regine's case?" Nick asked eyes widening in anticipation.

"It's not about the case, well it is..but it's not what you are thinking Nick." Sara explained, "Robert Blainey called today and spoke to Ecklie."

Nick shrugged indifferently, "Yeah I paid a visit to him today. So?"

"You almost, you practically accused him of murdering Regine." Sara told him, her eyes on his trying to emphasize the seriousness of what he did.

"No, I wanted to find out what he knew about her murder?" Nick explained.

"Nick," Sara said, "Ecklie asked me to come and talk to you and remind you that you are breaching a protocol?"

"So you guys suspect Blainey is involved too?" Nick surmised, "And so my talking to him would only be a conflict if he is a potential suspect."

"He's a person of interest at this point Nick we have nothing to connect him to the case." Sara answered then continued "And until then I would really appreciate if you just took a step back Nick from this as hard as it is for you. I know you want to find out who killed your wife, but by confronting suspects on your own time, you're hurting the case. This could come back and haunt us in court. And these people you talk to might flee the jurisdiction. All kinds of things can happen when you start to play vigilante. You need to back off!!"

Nick slouched back into the chair, defiantly folding his arms across his chest and winced slightly at the pain of doing so.

"He did it Sara." Nick announced firmly.

"We don't know that yet Nick." Sara told him, "Anything and everything we have on him is all circumstantial."

Sara then saw the ice pack, lying on the coffee table.

"What happened Nick?" She asked unsure if she wanted to hear the answer.

Nick smiled, "Oh, nothing. Just fell on my arm."

"How did you do that?" She asked skeptically.

"I just tripped on the treadmill."

"Uh huh." Sara answered skeptically.

Nick eyed her somberly. It was hard to fool Sara Sidle. It was hard to lie to a criminalist as they had ways of detecting falsehoods and fibs.

He stared into her beautiful brown eyes.

Somewhere in his soul, stirred a longing he thought long gone. There was time and a place where he thought perhaps he and Sara would find one another, until that is he realized her heart was with Grissom and once he did he let the dream ebb away. It was kind of hard, but eventually he moved on with a woman whom he found a life that he never thought possible. A separate entity from his emotionally-charged career filled with the drudges of society.

"You know Sara," Nick said, "I finally thought I'd found pure happiness. I found someone I could face the world with and not feel so fucking alone. I found someone I could actually watch Animal Planet with. Someone who lit me up like you wouldn't believe, so can you blame me for wanting to find the SOB who ended this for me? And who took a woman who meant so much to so many people besides me? I know you didn't think much of her and I still can't figure out why?"

Sighing heavily with sympathy in tow, she carefully chose her next words, "I don't think why my behaviour towards her is relevant Nick! What's important now is that her killer be brought to justice!"

As if not hearing Sara, Nick supposed with a smile, "You know she thought you were in love with me and she figured that's why you hated her. I told her you were in love with your boyfriend-boss Grissom, but she said that you can love two people at once. I told her she underestimated your feelings for Grissom."

Sara pressed her lips together trying to avoid a deer-in-the-headlights look and somehow she had a caught feeling within her, but again she wore a poker face and stuck to the points.

A distraction came in the form of Nick grimacing and favouring that arm again.

"Let me see." Sara said quietly as she t walked over and sat beside him taking the injured arm gently into her hands.

Nick winced as she stretched it out and pressed on it.

"It's swollen Nick." She looked at him, "What really happened and don't bullshit me."

The Texan said almost embarrassed, "I…got into an arm wrestling match with Blainey."

Sara reached over to the coffee table and picked up the ice pack which she then laid tenderly on his arm mindful of the swelling.

"What started it?" She asked.

"He was making snide comments about Regine-about her looks." He looked away.

"Hmmm," Sara put gentle pressure on his arm with the pack, "Well Sofia said he was a real prick."

"He is." Nick said, "And I know he's involved Sara. C'mon you do too."

"I'll admit," Sara said carefully trying not to overstep her bounds, "He's definitely on top of my list."

She turned to look at him and her gaze was met by his, she quickly looked away again, folding his hand over the ice pack. Then looked at him again.

Sara felt her heart skip a beat as she saw the intensity in his stare and swallowed hard, "Nick, I found a video clip on Regine's lap top."

"Oh lord," Nick said, "You didn't..."

"I watched almost all of them," She smiled sheepishly and looked down, "I could see why two were always happy."

A grin spread across his face as he blushed.

"Yeah, we certainly enjoyed each other's company in the bedroom."

"Oh yeah, that was clear and poor Archie didn't stay to watch the entire series like I did. I found out some things about you Nick that I'll use as leverage in the future when all is said and done."

Laugher escaped Nick's lips and Sara soon joined him both blushing as she told him, "It's amazing you held a job Nick you must have been exhausted but why would she video tape it?"

"I don't know." Nick answered, "She was a real hyper kind of girl always wanting to walk on the wild side a bit."

Sara laughed a little more and then went on her facing becoming serious, "Well, the one I was thinking of was not very clear so after Archie cleaned it up a bit we realized someone had taken a video using their cell phone of a dog fight. We traced the cell phone to an unknown number so it wasn't Regine who took these videos, but why would she have them."

"Dog fighting?" Nick asked incredulously, "I have no idea why those would be on her lap top. She treated dogs rescued by the humane society that were involved in underground dog fighting. It was awful because these dogs couldn't be saved. She said they were too vicious to go to homes so she wound up putting them to sleep. She was devastated when she had to do this."

"That raid we did back a few months ago?" Sara asked feeling another Eureka moment about to hit.

_A few months back a drug raid turned up an underground dog fighting ring. Over 20 Pit Bull Terriers were taken from the scene. Sara could remember the sick feeling in her stomach as the poor, battered yet vicious creatures were rounded up by humane society officials. Regine had come to the scene and was giving orders to the crew because so many dogs were being taken in at once._

_And that was the only time, Regine and Sara ever shared a peaceful moment as both mourned the poor state of the creatures. They were in hideous cages with little food and water._

_Sara was even in slight admiration of Regine as she gathered a trembling puppy from a small cage and comforted it, telling the tiny white creature that it was not too late for him._

_Other animals were found. A dozen or so cats were found in nearby cages. Regine explained they were to be used a bait to train new fighting dogs._

"Almost all those dogs were euthanized," Nick told her, "Except that puppy Regine found. He got a good home with Tre."

They were quiet for a moment.

"How does this all connect to Regine's murder?" The Texan finally asked.

"We don't know if it does or not Nick." Sara answered.

"And what does Blainey have to do with all this."

Sara shook her head and surmised, "Who knows?"

Nick blew out a breath, "You're not telling me anything are you."

His eyes darkened as tears formed around them.

"I wish I could tell you Nick that we are close to solving this case. I wish to God I could because there's nothing I want more for you then to bring this bastard to justice, so I have to be vague, I can't tell you anything more about what I suspect, or what evidence I have that puts this all together. All I want is for you to stay clear because by getting involved you will hurt our case. Please let Grissom and I do our jobs Nick." Sara pleaded with the stubborn steadfast man.

Nick looked away rolling his tongue over his lips, "I can't just sit here Sara." He told her his voice strained.

"You have no choice!" Sara told him firmly, "You have to trust the process. And Nick if I find out you are going behind our backs and interfering, I will report you to Ecklie and I can assure you that there will no job to back to if you fuck up our case in anyways. Do you understand what I'm saying Nick!"

Tears were sliding down the Texan's face stirring up feelings of guilt in the brunette criminalist, but she knew in our heart that she was doing the right thing-she was being cruel to be kind.

Nick folded his arms again, wincing at the pain.

"Answer me Nick?" Sara insisted, "Are you going to stay clear of this case?"

Slowly he answered in the affirmative, "Yes Sara. I will."

Sighing with relief, she told him, "I'm glad to hear it Nick."

Her cell phone beeped, pulling it out she saw Doc Robbins name on there. She flipped the lid closed.

"I got to go Nick, can I..give you a hug?"

Nick smiled sadly and nodded.

It was a small hug, a friendly one: fast hug, the kind that two old friends were good at.

They both stood up and Nick saw her out where she turned and looked at him before asking, "Can we start again?"

Fatigue was wearing on Nick as he slouched against the door, arms still folded, "Start what?"

'Us.Our friendship Nick because I've really missed you." Sara blurted out nervously expecting a snide remark or a joke.

Instead she was answered with a sad, "I'd like that Sara. I've missed you too. Life's too short to hold grudges."

Flashing a gap-tooth smile at her friend Sara made her way back to the Denali keenly aware that Nick was watching her leave.


	10. Chapter 10

**CHAPTER 10**

**THIS WOMAN'S WORK **

** _A/N: I struggled with the medical elements of this chapter. Please be kind._  
**

**His head it felt heavy**

**As he cut across the land**

**The dogs started howling**

**Like the broken-hearted man.**

The death of Lee Leadbeater was made known to Nick the same way the public did.

He was still going through the animal rights file and sorting through the e-mails. Apparently, Regine had gone to one 'event', Lee about 5, and Tre 3.

Nick knew he was treading on thin ice, but there was something in Sara's demeanor that got him wondering if she suspected that Regine was into some funny business that led to her death.

Regine was secretive the last few weeks, yet so scared.

But by now Nick had grown used to her erratic mood swings given how her mental health went down the drain after their son died.

"_What the hell is that?"_

_Nick looked up from the sink where he was taking some some pain killer to ease his aching muscles after playing a round of basketball with Warrick._

"_What's what!" he retorted wondering what she was going to yell at him about now. Lord knows she'd been yelling at him about everything late._

_Regine stormed into the kitchen dressed in blue sweats and a white T, her hair flying behind her and eyes ablaze!_

_Abruptly and without warning she grabbed the ibuprofen from his hands._

"_Hey!" he cried._

_She whipped them across the room and stomped out of the kitchen._

_Nick followed her, "What the hell is wrong with you!!!" He demanded grabbing her by the arms._

_She swung around with a fist aimed at him._

"_Shit" He caught it just in time. That was all that was needed-Nick Stokes walking into the crime lab with a black eye having to try and convince everyone that he'd walked into a cabinet._

"_Regine!" He yelped trying to calm her as more fists came towards him he grabbed her fists, spun her around, back to him and pinned her arms to her chest to subdue her._

"_Let me go Nick!" She raged._

"_No! Calm down!" Nick wrestled with her. She was a stocky girl next to his wiry frame, but he was still twice as strong as her and years of self-defense training on her._

"_I said let me go!" She snarled._

"_No! nonononono..tell me what's wrong!" He was breathing heavy trying to hold onto her. _

_Her body became placid as she panted and finally he released her convinced that his cabinet story was not going to be the subject of gossip at work._

"_Why are you using those pills?" She stood up straight, placed her hands on her hips._

_He held out his arms in surprise, "What pills!"_

"_The ones I threw!"_

"_What's wrong with them?" He asked confused._

"_They were made by Proportional Pharmaceuticals!"_

_Nick eyes narrowed, "And that's an issue because?"_

"_Robert Blainey!"_

"_Oh!" Nick realized where this rage was coming from, "Okay. I'll buy another brand. Would that make you happy?" He fixed her with a patronizing stare._

"_Good! I don't want to ever have anything in this house every made by that man's corporation again!" She glared daggers at him._

_Nick nodded, "Yeah..uh..okay! You just had to tell me Regine! There was no need to go all crazy on me. I'd really not like to have to go to the Lab and explain why I have a black eye or a broken nose."_

_He stepped forward. Carefully, placing a hand on her shoulder, "Are we going to use words instead of fists?" Nick had used this question on his nieces and nephews on many occasions and he hoped this would work on his childish-acting wife._

_She smiled embarrassed, "Sorry..my..hormones are a mess..still!"_

_Nick inhaled, "Oh yeah!"_

The Texan placed the file on the coffee table and leaned back.

_Hormnes! Not likely! More like rage towards a despicable human being._

He got up and walked over to Brass's computer, and inserted the disc.

Unfortunately, the detective's ancient hard drive didn't support the file.

"Shit!" Nick leaned back into the chair and rubbed his eyes, "Damn!"

He stood up and paced about.

Now, Nick recalled Sara's stern words and knew that sticking his Texan nose where it didn't belong would be the end of his career and his wife would not have wanted that.

But Regine was killed for a reason, more likely because she had stuck her nose where it didn't belong and someone didn't like it.

"Okay, I can't find out who killed her, but I can certainly find out what the big secret was." He said aloud to no one.

Knowing Regine, she was ready to expose someone or something and whoever did it wanted to shut her up.

"So what was it Regine you were trying to expose and what did it have to do with Robert Blainey or Proportional Pharmaceuticals?" Nick asked out loud again.

One thing was clear to Nick. He sincerely believed that his wife was not doing anything illegal or fraudulent. Sara could think that all she wants; Grissom could think that all he wants.

Nick wouldn't because nobody knew Regine like he did.

How her mind worked.

How her heart worked.

How her soul worked.

He knew her inside out even though they were only a part of each other's lives for such a short time, Nick knew that his wife was a truly good person; an honest person; a bleeding heart for sure, but that was not such a bad thing.

Even Nick was a bleeding heart at times to those in dire straits. Fuck that's what got him into trouble again and again at his job.

Didn't make him a criminal, nor did it make Regine.

Many people in this world have been executed for knowing too much about something. Powerful people didn't want their hideous deeds outed, particularly if they are illegal.

Therefore, Regine was not doing anything illegal, but the people she was trying to expose sure and hell were.

So, while Sara had specifically said not to get involved in solving his wife's murder, no one told Nick not to finish what she started.

He owed it to her for so many reasons mainly because she wasn't there when she needed him the most; because he was suspicious of her and accused her of having an affair with a man who turns out was gay and finally because he never supported her-why else did she not tell him anything.

Nick felt tears coming to his eyes as he sat down on the couch thinking how everything could have been so fucking different had he been a better husband to her; a husband who supported her and protected her from the people whose evil deeds cost her her life.

"I was a lousy fucking husband Regine!" Nick said aloud. "I let you down again and fucking again. No wonder you were so goddamn angry with me."

So Sara Sidle could go on her witch hunt all she liked. He'd been damned if he let coincidental evidence smear his wife's reputation.

Wiping his eyes, Nick got up and once again went to the desk and sat down to read through the e-mails. He'd hid them in his room and only brought them out when Brass worked.

He scanned them again and again and again. And then piled the 'Events' e-mails into one.

Something about the "Events" caught his eye.

Apparently, Regine had gone to one 'event', Lee about 5, and Tre 3.

Then it dawned on Nick that out of the three of them, one was dead, one was missing and the other was still alive.

Shit!!!Tre was in danger! Nick felt it in his gut. Whipping out his cell phone from his pocket, he started to dial the kid's number and was greeted by a message telling him the service had been disconnected.

Tre used a phone card for his service, so it often meant he was not accessible as he struggled to pay for another card.

Then that irritating twang got the Texan's attention.

Nancy Grace.

Nick didn't intend to turn the bleached blonde on, but he flicked the channel to Glen Beck-the guy did entertain the Texan although he thought his views were slightly wacky.

"Seems the LVPD have found the 'friend' of Dr. Regine Stokes, wife of Nick Stokes, a LVDP criminalist" Grace announced with a knowing gleam in her eye.

Nick shot up from the desk, knocking the chair over backwards and raced to the TV set.

"Police report that the 32 year old was found hanging from a tree in Lake Mead, his throat slit."

He watched as the camera zoned in on Greg and Catherine walking carefully through the wooded area. Looks like it happened earlier today and why the hell had no one called him.

"Police are now wondering if this was an apparent murder-suicide." She reported gleefully.

A camera zeroed in on Sofia dodging past, hand in the air as she said, "We've got nothing to tell you at this time."

Nick jumped out of the chair, and grabbed his coat. He had to find Tre and fast. He would bring the kid back to Brass's. The cop wouldn't mind.

Rain poured down, drenching him as soon as he came out of the house and locked the door. Nick raced to his truck. Uniforms had not arrived to check up on him; probably a busy night. Rain brought out the weirdest characters.

For once he wished they were there, then they could put an APB on Tre, he settled for the cell phone as he put in a call to Brass.

"Brass here!"

"It's Nick!"

"What's wrong kid?!" Brass asked, voice stat icy.

"You gotta find Tre Smith. He's in danger. I just know it!!!" Nick spoke rapidly.

"Woe..woe..slow down Nicky..what do you mean danger..what have you been doing Nick…"

"Just do what I ask man!!!" Nick said trying to find his keys to open the damn truck!

Just as he had the keys in the lock, something grabbed from behind. The cell phone flew out of his hand onto the ground.

Nick kicked at what was behind him and tried to scream, only to have his head covered with a cloth bag, the bottom tightened around his neck.

His world was black; the Texan was frantic with fear. Nick fought like a wildcat as his arms were bent behind his back. He could felt the familiar hard-core stickiness of duct tape bounding around his hands with the feet soon to suffer the same fate as he was shoved to the ground. He tried to squirm away and was met with a resounding kick to the skull resulting in stars dancing before his eyes that were stinging from the rain.

'_Please, enough, enough.'_ His mind screamed as he grunted through the bag.

What followed were a series of thumps and kicks to every single inch of his body.

Punches to the face, kicks to his back, his abdomen, and hell even his privates were not spared!! He was a human punching bag on the end of someone's sheer madness and wrath.

Nick tried to keep his mind focused despite the pain he was feeling. He was close enough to the cell phone that he could hear a voice calling his name, but then a crunching sound followed and Nick knew the cell phone was being crushed beneath a heavy boot. Nick was on his side, hog tied as he continued to struggle away from the blows.

The punches and kicks stopped a moment and Nick moaned in agony and was surprised to feel the bag pull off his head which was greeted by heavy rain, stinging his eyes.

All of sudden hands grabbed his hair, his scalp protesting violently at the treatment; Nick felt his head being slammed into metal. The truck he assumed. The sound reminded him of an ex-girlfriend who caught him cheating with her best friend and let her know how she felt by slamming a Louisville slugger into it.

WHAM!!!

WHAM!!

WHAM!!!

WHAM!!!!!!

Stars and spots danced before Nick's eyes and by now he prayed for unconsciousness and its comforting blackness.

Then the ramming stopped, but the attacker still gripped him tightly by his hair, his neck was arched back sharply and roughly.

Then something small and sharp was held to his throat!

Oh fuck!!! Nick thought, "Oh Jesus fucking Christ!!!"

Nick screamed as he felt the blade push in and slowly dig in about 1/4 an inch he calculated in his head. He wanted to wiggle and get away, but feared the knife would hit the jugular, so he simply prayed to the man above to bestow a miracle on him.

And a part of him called for Regine.

_Babe if you can hear me talk to that God of yours and convince him to let me live._

And the blade moved slowly, steadily. Nick pleaded for mercy. His cries ignored as the fucker pressed the blade deeper and deeper as if wanted the Texan to feel this. Wanted him to know exactly what was going on.

Then in a flash the blade was gone. Nick was released and his head slammed to the wet ground.

He tried to shift his body, but instead felt himself roll into a fetal position and wished his arms were free so he could curl into a ball or at least crawl away out of the rain to a dry spot.

"_When animals are dying, they run off to hide to avoid predators." Regine used to tell him._

By now the rain had soaked him to the core, he felt it pouring down mingling with the iron smell that Nick knew was blood. His neck throbbed in pain, and it was by this Nick could pinpoint where his wound was: The midportion of his neck

He recalled reading about neck injuries a medical text.

_Zone II encompasses the midportion of the neck and the region from the cricoid cartilage to the angle of the mandible. Important structures in this region include the carotid and vertebral arteries, jugular veins, pharynx, larynx, trachea, esophagus, and cervical spine and spinal cord. Zone II injuries are likely to be the most apparent on inspection and tend not to be occult. Additionally, most carotid artery injuries are associated with zone II injuries._

Nick tried to tell himself that Zone I neck wounds have the highest mortality rates, Zone II's

He tried to speak and it came hoarse-meaning his larynx had been hit or he received a cartoid injury; he stifled a cough knowing it might jolt a clot that might be forming around the wound.

He also kept his eyes closed knowing that the vertigo feeling would likely cause nausea, so he kept his eyes closed.

It was getting harder and harder to breathe. It could be panic or indicative of a most serious neck wound.

_Oh God! If both flaps of the larynx were hit, that could mean his breathing could be cut off._

Nick tried to cry out, but sounds were blocked, the flaps not able to vibrate.

His world was starting to fade around him and sursprisingly Nick was not afraid because he'd been near death so many times that he had concluded it would be sooner or later it would come for him again.

Nick often thought of himself as a cat with nine lives, but unfortunately even those lives ran out.

So he waited for death to come again and take him hopefully to Regine if that was what fate had in mind.

"_Don't worry Nick, this Catholic girl prays for your Methodist ass on a regular basis." She'd smile at him._

The scuffling of foot steps brought him back momentarily from his haze of pain and dizziness.

Then the familiar assuring sounds of Jim Brass's voice infiltrated his death-ready mind set and much to Nick's relief his hands and feet were cut free from their binds and his body pulled onto damp pants as arms cradling him.

"Nicky!" Brass called his voiced filled with fear, "Hang in there buddy!"

In the background, he heard Sofia's voice, "Officer down..I repeat officer down.."

Nick winced as pressure was put on his neck while another put pressure on the side of forehead.

He smelled the familiar perfume of Sofia Curtis talking to Brass.

"The fuckers ran off, the cops just went through your house, but nobody was there!"

"Who the hell were they?!" Jim yelled to Sofia

The Texan tried to speak, but his mouth was thick, swollen, and he tasted the same iron he smelled before.

"It's okay Nick," Brass whispered, "You're safe now." He felt his wrist being squeezed, "Jesus! His pulse is very weak. Fuck he might be going into shock."

"Nick, try and stay awake!!!" Sofia's voice pleaded to him.

Nick tried but it was too hard all he wanted was to go to that place where Regine was waiting for him.

Brass looked down at Nick. The neck wound was bleeding profusely. The sight of his head swelling as blood trickled from another wound on the side of his head. Through the rain, he could see that the kid was white.

"Dammit!" Brass groaned, "Where the hell are they! Call them again Sofia!"

She was on her cell phone screaming for the EMTs to come.

"I don't care if there's been a massive traffic accident, we have an officer down! Laceration to the neck!"

"Nick!" Brass leaned down and called to him, "Stay with us!"

Blackness was beckoning the Texan and he smiled because through it, he could see her smiling back at him.

The EMTS were pulling up, a male and female hopped out and immediately raced to the scene.

"How long has he been long this!" The young male black EMT called out.

"I don't know, by the time I got here he was like this. I don't think it was very long!" Brass answered.

"Nick! Can you hear me!" The male voice called.

Nick wanted to desperately answer yes, but he was too weak but he did manage a small but hoarse 'yes'.

"Laceration to the neck, the head wound looks superfluous, but there could be so cranial damage!"

The Texan heard wheels, felt his body lifted gently onto soft material, straps around his body

Then he was somewhere warm and dry.

"Keep the pressure on his neck with that gauze." The voice of the ambulance attendant-the same one who took care of him when he was buried alive-rang through his haze.

Nick felt his shirt being cut away and the coldness of the stethoscope placed on his neck.

"His breathing is raspy."

"Nicky!" The attendant ordered, "Stay with us man!" Nick felt the prick of the IV going into his hand, "I don't want to intubate him. It might cause him to gag and loosen any clot wound that may be forming."

Nick felt a mask being placed over his face and fresh air tickling his nose.

"The blood is coming right through the cloth!" Brass warned.

The attendant looked at it, "We're almost there."

Nick tried to stay conscious, but the darkness was so comforting.

Brass's round, robust face looked over him while he squeezed Nick's hands.

"Just hang in there Nicky, you're safe now."

But the blackness was too powerful for Nick and he caved. He was too tired not to.

_Wicked fiddles played, guitars screamed._

_Nick sat in at the table with Catherine and Warrick while Regine sat clapping merrily at Lee and Tre as they joined Thomas O'Malley, Iris's nephew, played along._

"_What the hell is this?" He asked Regine who sneered at him._

"_Celtic roc! Country boy!" She glowered at him, "It's called 'Devil In the Kitchen!"_

_Nick held up his hands invoking peace and flushed with embarrassment at Warrick and Catherine._

_Catherine leaned over and said loudly, "That's why you get for getting her pregnant Nick! Raging hormones ready to strike at any minute!"_

"_No kidding!" Nick groaned._

_Payback's a bitch!" Catherine smiled._

"_Yeah!" Warrick bemoaned for all to hear, "Then you marry one!"_

_Catherine slapped him playfully, "Sore loser!"_

_It was on the tip of Nick's tongue to also answer, "Yeah and so is my wife of late!" But wisely restrained himself as to prevent another tongue lashing from his beloved ball and chain. Regine had just finished giving Nick hell for feeding table scraps to the dog and didn't care that this what the dogs he grow up ate and they lived a nice long life thank you very much._

_Regine did a 180 with her mood and tried to pull him onto the floor, "Dance with me Nicky!"_

_He pulled her back to the seat, "No babe. No dancing for you. You got me wearing this damn kilt for Robbie Burn's day and so now I get to dictate the rules."_

_She scowled as Catherine who was seated at the table said to a sulking Regine, "That's men for you. They get you pregnant and it's all downhill from there."_

_Warrick scoffed, "Speaking from experience Catherine!"_

"_Not a pleasant one!" Catherine scowled._

_Warrick then gave a once over and laughed at Nick, "Nice skirt Bro!"_

"_Yeah, and this gets back to the Lab and you'll be laughing silly from the wallop to your head!" Nick warned. Regine and he had placed a bet on a basketball game and he lost and this was his payment-wearing a kilt..one time..only.._

_Thankfully, he fit right in with the crowd. Kilts swayed everywhere. _

_Nick wondered how men wore these things regularly as they itched your ass so badly, he's scratch if he could find a subtle way of doing it. _

_The song ended and Regine stood up._

"_What are you doing?" Nick asked as he watched her amble on the stage, belly poking through the shirt._

"_You'll see." She looked back and winked playfully.  
_

_She was dressed in a long, black sequined skirt that shuffled around her, and a tight red shirt that obviously showed her full five months of pregnancy. Her ponty-tail swung side to side as she took the stage._

"_Evening folks, I'd be up here singing by my man there..Mr. Nick Stokes seems to want me sitting on me arse tonight, so I'm gonna dedicate a song to him. Called the Scotsman"_

_Nick didn't recognize the tune, but the crowd and they cheered enthusiastically as she took the mike._

"_By the way Nicky, this is done sans musque!"_

_She began feigning a Scottish accent poorly, but good enough for the tune:_

Well a Scotsman clad in kilt left a bar on evening fair  
And one could tell by how we walked that he drunk more than his share  
He fumbled round until he could no longer keep his feet  
Then he stumbled off into the grass to sleep beside the street  
Ring ding diddle diddle I de oh ring di diddly I oh  
He stumbled off into the grass to sleep beside the street

About that time two young and lovely girls just happened by  
And one says to the other with a twinkle in her eye  
See yon sleeping Scotsman so strong and handsome built  
I wonder if it's true what they don't wear beneath the kilt  
Ring ding diddle diddle I de oh ring di diddly I oh  
I wonder if it's true what they don't wear beneath the kilt

They crept up on that sleeping Scotsman quiet as could be  
Lifted up his kilt about an inch so they could see  
And there behold, for them to see, beneath his Scottish skirt  
Was nothing more than God had graced him with upon his birth  
Ring ding diddle diddle I de oh ring di diddly I oh  
Was nothing more than God had graced him with upon his birth

They marveled for a moment, then one said we must be gone  
Let's leave a present for our friend, before we move along  
As a gift they left a blue silk ribbon, tied into a bow  
Around the bonnie star, the Scots kilt did lift and show  
Ring ding diddle diddle I de oh ring di diddly I oh  
Around the bonnie star, the Scots kilt did lift and show

Now the Scotsman woke to nature's call and stumbled towards a tree  
Behind a bush, he lift his kilt and gawks at what he sees  
And in a startled voice he says to what's before his eyes.  
O lad I don't know where you been but I see you won first prize  
Ring ding diddle diddle I de oh ring di diddly I oh  
O lad I don't know where you been but I see you won first prize

_The crowd roared in laughter and looked toward Nick and sang along to 'ring ding diddle diddle I de oh ring di diddly I oh'_

_Catherine raised her eyebrows and asked "Are you wearing.."_

_Nick decided to play along, "I ain't sayin' Catherine."_

_Trotting off the stage, Regine caught the tale end of the conversation as she sat beside Nick and whispered in his ear, "I want to know.."_

_Catherine made a remark about getting home to Lindsay and Warrick agreed saying the 'old ball and chain' needed tendin' to._

_Nick shook his head, "Ain't telling till after the party.." He winked._

_Her hand slid down under the coarse fabric. He grabbed it and teased, "Naughty girl!"_

_Then Nick looked around and once was sure everything was clear, he brought her hand up under the damn kilt he was made to wear._

_A secret smile formed on her broad face as she pried about._

_Nick asked, "Do I win first prize?"_

_Regine ran a tongue over dried and she ordered huskily, "I want to go now!"_

_They barely made to the luxurious hotel room paid courtesy of Catherine Willows where they finally their delayed honeymoon. Nick and Regine's schedules had not coincided until now._

_And the door was barely closed when Regine pushed him gently back towards the bed, not before Nick got in there and tugged the skirt down to her ankles, the underwear suffering the same fate. She stepped out of them pushing him upon to the head of the bed, pinning his hands to the pillows. Smiling at him before she moved down to confirm what her tactile senses had told her in the bar._

_She lifted up the kilt and grinned, "Aye lad, you won the Blue Ribbon!"_

_Nick laughed sitting up to rip of the sweater he was wearing, "Don't you be tying anything on me girl!" He tossed the sweater onto the chair and wrapped his arms around her while she kissed his head and smiled down on him._

"_I'm going to fuck you Mr. Stokes with the kilt on." She told him in a voice that had his loins singing praises. She pushed him back onto the pillows and inched her way down onto him and rode him roughly, her hands running over his chest._

"_Slow babe! You got my kid in there." Nick gasped grabbing the iron railing behind._

_She obliged and rocked him, squeezing him causing him to arch his neck back and cry out then he looked up. And saw that her nipples were poking through the sheer red top._

"_Take the top off." He ordered._

_Regine smiled and slowly brought the top over her head and tossed it. Then she smiled playfully._

_Nick eyed her and ordered, "The bra too!"_

_She reached behind her back and took it off revealing a most beautiful sight._

_Her ample breasts had become rounder, the areolas darker and thicker, her belly button had become and outy with each passing month. Nick reached up and pinched her nipples gently, fingering them. She leaned over still joined and offered on of her breasts e to his mouth which he took in and sucked, slurped and licked, noticing the thicker texture of the nipples. She then slowly sat back up their pace picking up a bit faster._

_It took every ounce of strength in the Texan's body to not encourage her to go faster, so Nick changed strategies, he then moved her off to her surprise and laid her gently beside him, her back to him, spooning her, his arm around her breasts, the kilt threatening to fall between them as he entered her slowly, teasing and finally was all the way in much to her delight. Slapping sounds coming from them as they moved in rhythm, Nick's hand firmly planted on one of her breasts squeezing them, then rolling a finger around her nipples, leaning over to roll a tongue around her ear._

_He preferred this spooning method of lovemaking at this point, nervous about lying on top of her or her on him, not wanting any harm to come to his future child, but fulfilling a need readily as always. Regine never ever denied him or deprived of that._

_They were getting close to dramatic orgasm, Nick picked up the pace ever so slightly and it was enough as she climaxed, a soft weepy cry and he soon followed groaning as he throbbed inside her._

_After he pulled away, she clumsily rolled over to face him, flushed and sweaty, tears still coming down. Nick kissed her, nibbilng on her lower lip and finally rid himself of the blasted kilt and curled up, his hands running over her stomach, pride filling him. _

"_You're gorgeous!" He mumbled._

_She frowned in disbelief and spewed a list of complaints about not seeing her feet, her boobs weighing two tons, her feet hurt, her back hurt. Nick smirked in response which earned him a threat of strangulation in the delivery room._

"_Yeah I can see that on the news." Nick chuckled, "CSI Stokes was throttled by his wife while she was in labour."_

_Regine laughed and said, "Well, one good thing about the second trimester is that. I'm constantly horny."_

"_Yeah!" Nick grinned, "I like that part."_

_Her face got serious, "You know. I feel so safe with you. I mean when I'm with you. I don't feel like I have to be afraid of anything or anyone."_

_Nick smiled and pulled her closer to him kissing her, "I love you Regine and am damn glad I found you."_

_She giggled, "Correction. I found you and Grissom introduced us."_

"_Well," Nick said, "Guess I owe him one."_

Then the blissful dream world edged away and Nick's world filled was suddenly with white light and beeping noises and pain.

_Where was he?_

Nick darted his eyes around anxiously and tried to speak, but everything came out hoarse. He put his hands to his face and fingered the nasal cannula.

"Lay still." A familiar authorative voice said.

Grissom's face hovered over him. He looked tired, disheveled and worried all at once.

"You're in the intensive care unit at Desert Palms. You've been here for about 24 hours. Your voice box was nicked; you have two cracked ribs and a concussion."

He spoke gently like a father to a frightened child and this moment, Nick was very, very frightened and felt helpless and he hated it.

"The laceration was made to your Zone II portion of your neck, nicking the voice box. Luckily the damage was minor and at this point they are going to wait and see whether or not you need to surgery to repair it. Their strongly suspect they will Nick, but they are just going to wait and see. The swelling needs to subside first. Doctors will be in and out in the next few days to assess you by doing a laryngoscope to examine you."

Nick blinked in response and stared straight up at the older man.

"You're very lucky Nick, your main arteries were spared in this attack. The doctors performed an endoscopic examination and are going to continue to watch your breathing as almost all laryngeal traumas can result in obstructed breathing. A tracheotomy may still need to be done to ensure an air way is cleared. You're not out of the woods yet Nick. As well they will be monitoring your wound for sepsis. You're body is exhausted. Now is the time to rest."

Nick made a small noise. Grissom sternly ordered, "No talking Nick. You don't want to impose on your vocal chords."

He looked up at his Supervisor. He was touched that the man took time out of his job to stay with him until he awoke.

Knowing Grissom's expertise with reading lips, Nick began mouthing words Grissom.

Grissom read them closely, "Tre. The young man from the clinic?"

The Entomologist watched him again.

"We got him Nick. We've got him in a safe place. He's not saying much though. He's scared."

Nick was breathing rapidly, panicked and mouthed his words, his lips felt so thick and swollen.

Grissom read his lips and then asked him, "Has this got anything to do with the letters we found in Brass's desk?"

The excitement drove Nick's heartbeat up. Grissom petted his shoulder shushing him.

The Supervisor studied Nick. He looked like he'd age ten years in only two months since Regine's death. Gray hair was peaking at his temple. Laugh lines so deep they could be valleys.

Licking dry lips, Grissom continued, "We read through those e-mails Nick and again I repeat wee have Tre Smith in hiding right now."

Nick pressed his lips together, tears filling his eyes.

Grissom petted Nick's hand, "I know you want to find out who did this to your wife Nick and I'm not going to discipline you for this."

Nick shook his head.

"You're not conducting your own investigation then?" Grissom's eyebrows knitted together in confusion.

Nick mouthed his words.

"I see." Grissom said, "You want to finish what she started then, but we don't know what she was doing. How do you know it wasn't criminal activity Nick."

Anger filled Nick's tired eyes and he furiously mouthed clearly for Grissom, "She wouldn't do anything like that!"

Grissom then decided to put an end to the conversation as Nick's body could not take anymore stress, "The important thing is Nick is that you're alive and Tre is safe. And you're parents are back. They flew in a few hours ago."

Nick closed his eyes grimacing.

Grissom smiled, "I know you don't want them to stress anymore, but I think you're too late. They're asleep in adjoining room."

A young male nurse with blond, spikey hair walked in, "Glad to see you're awake Nick."

"You're a lucky guy;never seen someone with so many friends. Our head nurse had to chase some of them out of here. They didn't want to leave. Especially that Irish woman who prayed to Mary, Joseph, Jesus and all the saints in the world." He told him while checking his IV and the monitors he was hooked up to.

It was too hard to laugh, but Nick managed a small, strained smile..

Grissom stood back, his back cracking slightly up and walked over, "I'm going to go get your parents and have them come in. Sara is working around the clock on Regine's case."

Nick mouthed, "Lee Leadbeater?"

"That's Catherine's case, Nick."

Nick nodded and mouthed, "Related to Regine's?"

Smiling at Nick's dogmatic determination to do his job even flat on his back in ICU.

"We're not sure Nick. My suspicion is yes, and my suspicion is that your attacker is probably related to both cases."

Nick inhaled through the nasal tube.

"Now," Grissom said in a stern voice, "I'm ordering you to rest. You have no choice now but to let go and let us do our job Nick. Now there's an officer posted outside your door, please don't chase him off. Whoever did this to you is still out there. Do you understand?"

The younger man nodded and mouthed more words to his boss.

"I know it's hard to stand by, but this is the way it has to be Nick." Grissom told him.

The nurse came back in, "I'm going to give him something to sleep now."

"Good." Grissom answered, "I'll just get his parents if that's okay."

They looked at Nick who nodded, at this moment he felt like a little boy who just wanted his mom.

Grissom stared sadly at Nick for omen and then fighting back his own tears, "Okay I'll let them know."

The Ativan was kicking in as his mom and dad walked quietly in, Nick felt its familiar tingling through his body and everything drifted away as he heard his parents walk in and his mother grab his hand.

Time blurred for Nick and for an unspecified time his world was cornucopia of doctors, nurses, friends, family even the priest from Regine's church came to visit. His Methodist dad was polite, but reminded the man Nick was born, baptized and raised Methodist and wasn't gonna be a turncoat so if he was gonna try because of this situation he was out of luck

Warrick came in with Greg to take some photos of his injuries. Nick was barely concioius of them and only remembered the tall gangly man telling him to hang in there as he still needed to kick his ass royally in the next game of B-Ball!

On top of that were examinations, things being shoved down his throat, doctors discussing options with him but he just nodded in agreement at their suggestions.

Then Nick went back in for surgery to explore the extent of the damage and repair the injured tissue.

Aftewards he stayed on in the ICU, where he was given a broad spectrum of antibiotics, H2 blockers to reduce granular tissue formation.

So the criminalist took Grissom's advice and slept often awaking to his mother holding his hand, or his father. At one point, Sara even paid him a quick visit her gap-tooth smile bringing some sort of light into his dark world.

Eventually the haze cleared and the doctors told him he could leave the ICU and go into a regular ward room.

Nick's voice was scratchy and squeaky noises made every time he spoke. Warrick commented that he sounded like a 60 year old woman who chained smoke her way through life.

Nick flipped him the universal language of F-OFF making the tall, gangly black man laughed till tears were forming.

His rapid recovery was encouraging to the doctors who decided that he could leave the next morning with orders to return frequently for more examinations of his injured voice box.

Nick's parents stayed until they felt it was safe to do so, their son was in the clear and so they could get back to Texas.

Nick's father came to visit him one night while his mother stayed back at the hotel room planning to come after a conference call.

"Son," Judge Stokes spoke while Nick looked at himself in the mirror at the, studying the art work of bruises and lacerations on his face and then the huge slice to his neck, "Please consider moving back to Texas. I can get you a job there so fast it would make your head swim."

Nick was examining himself in the mirror, studying the myopia of colours on the side of his head where he made one-on-one contact with his truck; and lifted the bandaid slightly up to peer under for the neck wound which the doctors had opened and re-opened.

For sure a scar was going to be left there.

He looked up at his father and could see what the real motive was behind his offer of a job back home.

The older man was afraid for his son. Had been since the day he was buried alive; since his wife was murdered and now his life almost taken again.

"Dad!" Nick croaked, "I've learned in this job that safety it what you make it. I could easily go home and be murdered. I did a case a while back where a guy gets back from Iraq only to be stabbed to death by some drugged out loser. It's not always about where you live."

He grimaced as talking was a painful ordeal for him.

Judge Stokes looked down and petted his son's arm, "Just think about it."

Nick nodded to appease him, but in his heart, he wasn't going anywhere.

Not yet at least.


	11. Chapter 11

**THIS WOMAN'S WORK**

**_A/N: My apologies for the delay. __  
_**

**_ I hope you enjoy this next chapter.  
_**

**_CHAPTER 11 _**

_When you realize the value of all life, you dwell less on what is past and concentrate more on the preservation of the future.  
Dian Fossey_

The Graveyard shift gathered in a meeting room donuts and coffee amongst files galore.

Eyes of different colours were now sharing a common denominator: red-red from fatigue, hours of hours of reading, studying and now they were sharing.

Sara was there to share information on her murder investigation of Regine Stokes.

Catherine and Greg were there to discuss what they had so far on Lee Leadbeater.

Warrick was there to discuss what he gathered on Nick's attack.

Grissom sat at the head of the table and announced, "The common denominator in all these cases is Robert Blainey. Somehow, someway he is involved. Sara what did Nick tell you what happened when he went to visit Robert Blainey?"

"They got into an altercation. Blainey almost broke his arm." She answered.

"Yeah!" Warrick muttered, "And within a matter of 24 hours Nick was almost beaten to death."

He pulled out some photos and spread them across the table. Everyone winced at the site of Nick's battered body, particularly Greg.

However, the young criminalist recovered and said, "Do you see that mark on Nick's body, it looks like an insignia from a class ring. It looks like a date on it..198..something."

Grissom pulled the photo over to him and studied it with a magnifying glass.

"Warrick, take these to Hodges after the meeting, see if he can make any matches."

The tall gangly black stood up and said, "Right! But that's not all; check out the bruising along his back, like some kind of combat boots!"

"Regine had boot-like bruises on her back as well." Sara brightened.

"As does Mr. Lee Leadbeater!" Catherine piped up as she pulled out some photos of the deceased man and placed them on the table beside the photos of Nick. Sara then placed photos of Regine next to them.

A match.

"Wait!" Warrick cried out grabbed Regine's file and pulled out some photos of the cement imprints he made at the scene of the murder.

"The treads match!" He announced

"Another job for Hodges, see if he can match these boot treads!" Grissom handed off the photos to Warrick who trotted off to find the ego-challenged lab tech.

"So! I think it's safe to say that we have one suspect in mind for all three cases!" Catherine announced.

"However," Grissom countered, "All we have is circumstantial evidence. Robert Blainey has a tumultuous history with Regine Stokes and Lee Leadbeater."

"Lot's of people have enemies." Sara agreed,

"I think someone should have another word with Mr. Blainey." Catherine announced, "Find out where he was the night Nick was assaulted."

"It's Warrick's case," Grissom told her, "I'll send him over with Sofia whose already dealt with him, so she can brief him on what to expect."

Catherine sighed heavily.

"What!" Grissom looked at her annoyed.

"I feel helpless Grissom!" She said, eyes glaring at him.

"You've got the Lee Leadbeater case!" He snorted not wanting to deal with office politics right now.

"I know but…" Catherine folded her arms and slumped in her chair, "I feel like! You know if I hadn't called Nick out to the field that night, Regine might be still alive."

Tears welled in her eyes and she bit her lip determinedly.

"If someone was out to get her Catherine," Sara said, "They would have found a way."

"Catherine," Grissom said somberly, "I don't think Nick blames you in any way for what happened to Regine. If anything, I think he too busy blaming himself."

A soft knock interrupted them as they turned and saw Wendy standing in the doorway looking hesitant to come in.

Grissom motioned for her to come in.

"I've got the lab results back from Nick's attack. I found blood evidence on the hood that was left behind that didn't belong to Nick. When I ran it, it came back a match to the sample taken from the doggie door at Nick's house the night his wife was murdered."

Everyone sat up straight.

"Unfortunately, there was no hits in the system." She smiled sadly.

"But it does clearly indicate that the person who attacked Nick was there the night Regine was murdered." Sara said with a smile.

"Doesn't mean this person killed Regine," Grissom countered, "But they would know

who did?"

"Thanks Wendy!" Sara told the Lab Tech who smiled and left the room.

A cell phone rang-Catherine's. She looked at the screen and smiled.

"It's Nick calling to tell me he's ready to be picked up." She stood up and ran a hand through her hair.

Grissom and Sara looked at her confused.

"He's coming to stay with me." The blonde criminalist announced.

"Are you sure that's a good idea. You could be risking Lindsay and your mom's safety." Grissom raised an eyebrow wearingly.

"Yeah, well when you're father is a former casino mogul with connections to some of the shadiest characters, it's quite easy to pull a few strings to ensure everyone connected to the family is safe." Catherine smiled mischievously, turned and sauntered away.

The remaining criminalists looked at each other.

"I don't even want to go there!" Sara said.

Grissom looked at Greg, "How's your house guest doing!"

Greg shrugged, "Scared to death."

"Has he said anything to you?" Sara asked.

"No," Greg answered, "I think at this point I need to build his trust. If I come at him both guns blazing, he might bolt on me."

"Where is he now?" Grissom asked concerned.

"Oh he's in the Lab, he's shadowing Hodges!" A small smile broke out on Greg's face.

"Good one!" Sara laughed slightly.

"Well it's only for a while, I think Tre was more interested in Archie's work, so I'll have him go over there when he's done with Hodges." Greg pushed the chair back and stood up, "I'm gonna take him out for lunch and try and see if he'll say anything to me."

"Thanks Greg!" Grissom told the young criminalist, "I think of all us he'll connect with you best."

Greg smiled and made his out of the meeting room leaving Sara and Grissom.

Grissom turned to Sara who had flipped open Regine Stokes file.

"Why are you reading her autopsy results?" He asked, "We know how she died."

Sara looked up from the file, "She was pregnant the day she was murdered."

"Doc Robbins said her uterus indicated that there had been evidence of a pregnancy?" Grissom said.

"According to his autopsy she was least 3 and a half to 4 months along. Wouldn't there be a fetus found in her womb? Or fetal tissue in the blood?"

"Sara her uterus was a mess!" Grissom answered annoyed after all, why is she asking these questions now!

"By why is that if he only raped her? A penis would not create that much damage." Sara said.

Grissom was pensive for a moment.

"What are you getting at Sara?" He finally asked.

"I'm just wondering a fetus that far along is fairly developed, if she had miscarried at the scene, tissue samples would have been found?"

"Unless she was raped with a foreign object and that prompted a miscarriage. There was a fair amount of blood at the scene." Grissom told her.

"Maybe she had an abortion the day of the rape?" Sara speculated.

"Well," Grissom said, "Confidentiality is no longer an issue once the patient has died. So find out who her OBGYN was."

Sara stood up and was somber for a moment.

"When you are going to tell Nick about the pregnancy Grissom?" She asked.

"When the case is solved."

"That could take a while."

"Nick can wait."

Sara looked at Grissom for a moment, picked up the files and left the room not happy with hiss answer.

The Entomologist returned to his office and started to read over the notes of Doc's finding of the autopsy of Lee Leadbeater, Catherine was courteous enough to let him read the files.

Death by extenuation due to laceration of the jugular. The blood had flowed from his body onto the grown leaving a pool. He had been dead for two weeks.

Leadbeater was thinner then his photos had shown. Obviously, he had been kept for weeks before being murdered. But why?

Grissom pulled a magnifying glass out from his desk and studied the wound on the man's neck.

He looked with a look of Eureka.

Then matched them with the blade wound on Regine's neck.

Smooth cuts, like the kind a surgeon would use. They seemed to know exactly where to strike.

He was interrupted by the sounds of foot steps.

Brass walked in with a sly grin and a report.

"When I was interviewing the people at Regine's clinic, one of them told me that Dr. Blainey was on his millionth career."

He set the report in front of Grissom.

"His first career, was that of a Gynacologist?"

Grissom sat up and read the report. It came from the medical board.

_Dr. Robert Blainey's medical license will be revoked as of December 1__st__,1989._

"How is this relevant to our case so he's no longer a gynecologist?"

"It gives us some background on a potential subject, who I might add was one of the few that refused to give us a DNA sample, well. Not refuse, but managed to elude us on several occasions."

Grissom pulled himself up in his seat, "And why he is no longer a gynecologist?"

"He lost his license due to several patients filing sexual harassment cases against him. He comes from a wealthy background and his daddy paid off the patients. It still didn't win him back his license though. I'll call the Medical Board and verify everything."

"And he still managed to get into veterinary school." Grissom smirked.

"Apparently, according to one of the assistants, daddy was president of the University."

"And thanks to Regine, that career ended not so brightly." He leaned back into his chair, "How's Nick by the way?"

Brass shrugged, "Still hurting. Catherine picked him up. I feel really bad about that night. I should have been there."

"You got there when you could Jim," Grissom told him, "Nick didn't want to be watched anymore."

Altman Black Jungle Flight Line plus Safety Toe" Hodges muttered staring at the module.

Warrick studied the screen, the treads of the black boot looked like stepping stones and they matched perfect with the bruising on Nick's back and Regine's as well as the ones found in Brass's back yard.

The gangly black man smiled at Hodges who looked very pleased with himself.

Then he got serious, "How's Nick doing?"

"Honestly, I don't know Hodges, I've been very focused on this case, Greg might know."

Hodges nodded, "You know the military store I called for Grissom were out of these, but they gave me this website where people could order them. But not many people wear combat boots anymore with this EMO trend."

Warrick nodded impatiently, "Gotcha Hodges, so whoever purchased them either was in the military, still in the military, or just has an obsession with all things military."

"Obsessions." Hodges pondered, "I prefer mine to be all things Dukes of Hazzard."

Much to Warrick's relief, Sofia showed up at the door.

"Yeah fill me in late Hodges, I've got a suspect to talk to!" Warrick said backing out of the lab with a slight wave.

------------------------------

Brass cleared his throat "I've tracked down the Blainey's ex's house- Kathleen O'Sullivan, she lives on 121 Springfield Blvd."

"And Dr. Blainey.."

"She's got a few angry neighbours because she's quite the busybody, likes to tell the others how to live, so it wasn't hard to get information about her. They told me that they've seen him around the premises. But not often. However, about two months ago, they also saw a heavyset man walking in with Blainey close behind him."

Grissom shook his head in disbelief, "No one thought to report it."

"No one thought anything of it until Leadbeater's body was retrieved. Seems the couple had all sorts of strange-looking characters going in and out of the house. Gang bangers and other shady types. They thought it was rather strange that such a upper class couple were association themselves with 'riff raff'" Sofia explained making quotation marks with her fingers for riff raff.'

Frowning Grissom asked, "What would a high class couple like that be doing with gang bangers?"

"The question is what does this all have to do with Regine and Lee?" Brass asked tapping the files.

Grissom nodded in agreement"Good question?"

Sara marched back to Grissom's office, she had just met up Bronwyn Bruch, a women man the Lab contracted to do forensic accounting and before she decided to leave, she needed to address this and other issues with her boss.

"Thought you were on the way to meet with Regine's doctor?" The entomologist asked not looking up from his desk-but keenly aware of Sara entering the room.

"There's something else Grissom," Sara continued, "Sara sent the some of the humane society's paper work to our forensic accountant and there seems to be discrepancies in where donations were going?"

"Explains the lawyer being at the crime scene on several occasions." Grissom finished,

"I think Regine uncovered some shady business at the humane society and she was 'silenced." Sara speculated.

"Must have been pretty serious for this to happen."

"But to be raped and murdered like that brutally?" Sara grimaced, "I mean in those cases wouldn't it be more of a direct hit."

"But that ties into Blainey's past behaviour. He's got all the makings of a sexual predator." Grissom hypothesized.

"From what Nick and others have said it was pretty nasty relationship." Sara remarked.

"But Regine was a confrontational woman to begin with, so that's not surprising."

"Makes him a suspect?"

"We have no conclusive evidence linking him to the scenes Sara." Grissom said.

"But a lot of things that are happening seem to be connecting back to him." Sara retorted, "Everything. This guy did it. We all know it"

"Until we have a key piece of evidence linking him to all three crime scenes, all we have are circumstantial evidence and a man with a shady past-none of which makes a criminal."

There was a pregnant pause before Sara concluded," I'll keep working on it!"

"Sara," Grissom warned, "Don't create a hypothesis and then manufacture evidence to legitimize it."

"Grissom!!" Sara was defiant, "This man nearly broke Nick's arm! He's had a volatile past with Nick wife and her colleague and he's a researcher."

"Sara," Grissom, "Your letting your emotions about this case cloud you judgment. Not only about Nick or his wife, but about the issues surrounding his profession and your belief system. But you need to disconnect yourself and try and stay focused on the evidence. If he did, there is something, somewhere that will link us directly to it. Without it, we have no case."

Sara nodded, tears streaming down her face and tried to laugh, "It's almost like that gorilla case I did years back."

Smiling, Grissom responded, "I know how animals ignite a fire in you and despite your difference with Regine-it was the same for her. It's like my passion for insects. We all have something that we love that lights us up when we are around it."

"And now it looks as if whatever she was fighting for killer her. I don't think she was involved in anything illegal Grissom," Sara insisted, "I really think she was killed by someone or some group of people who didn't want her exposing them and Dr. Blainey is connected to them."

"She was defiant," Grissom pondered, "And perhaps someone got tired of it and ended it like the poachers who killed Dian Fossey."

Sara smiled, "The murdered Gorilla lady."

"Jane Goodall once said that the difference between she and Diane Fossey was that Jane liked people and Diane didn't."

"I think she liked people, Grissom. She loved Nick."

Greg was strolling down the hall back to Archie's lab.

It wasn't that he didn't want to be in charge of Tre, it was that the kid reminded him of one those punks that beat the living day lights out of him and his very presence made Greg uneasy.

Still, he was also Nick's little buddy, so he had to trust his friend that this kid was not going to pull a 'fannysmackin' on him.

The kid hadn't said much in the few days he was with the young criminalist. Was more interested in Greg's Playstation and music collection then anything else: too interested in fact which led to Greg bringing him into work to 'shadow' certain Lab workers.

So now he was with Archie or at least that's what he thought when he walked into the A/V Lab and saw Archie sitting there-alone.

"Where's Tre?" Greg asked.

Archie looked up and checked his watch, his face filled with alarm, "He went to the washroom? A half hour ago."

"Fuck!" Greg shouted and raced around the corridors to the men's room and burst in.

It was empty.

Panicking, Greg ran a hand through spiky brown hair and looked in each stall.

No Tre.

Swallowing hard to control his breathing, he rushed out only to run into Gil Grissom.

"Greg!" Grissom asked concerned, "What's wrong?"

"Tre..he's gone!"

"What! I asked you to keep on eye on him."

"He was with Archie and told him he had to use the washroom."

Grissom groaned, "Dammit! I'll have Brass put a BOLO out for him."

He looked at the young criminalist besieged with guilt and put an arm on him his anger lowering, "It's not your fault Greg!"

Warrick Brown strolled around the waiting room of Dr. Blainey, Sofia in tow.

Sofia noticed that there was new receptionist at the desk, a young Asian woman.

"What happened to your colleague?" She asked the girl.

"She left the country; she was saving up money to go back to India to get married." She answered.

Warrick asked, "How do you like working for Blainey?"

"I think she likes it just fine." An authoritative voice answered.

They turned to see the tall, bald man standing before them.

Warrick blew out a breath. This guy had to be at least 6 to 7 feet tall. He was bald as an eagle, thin, yet one could see he was very strong.

When he stood up to shake his man, even Warrick, who was no slouch himself, felt very a little intimidated by him.

Blainey refused to take his hand, and in fact, refused to take his hands out of his pocket which Warrick thought was strange.

"I have nothing to say to you still." Blainey announced standing up straight as an arrow.

"Really?" Warrick asked hands on his hips.

Sofia stepped up to him, "Is there any reason you haven't stepped up to take a DNA test?"

Blainey scoffed, "I haven't been ordered to."

"Do you know anything about the attack on Nick Stokes?" Warrick asked, folding his arms.

"No, I don't."

Warrick kept trying to look at Blainey's hands, but they were shoved deep into his pocket.

"Can we look around your office then?" Warrick asked, "Since you have nothing to hide, there shouldn't be a problem."

"Get a court order and then we will talk." Blainey pivoted abruptly and strolled back to his office.

Warrick looked at Sofia who smirked.

"If that ain't sayin' 'I'm guilty'then I don't know what is." He told the detective.

They two of them made their way back to the parking lot where the Denali sat. The sun was beaming down hotly. Warrick loosened his collar.

"I don't know how we can prove it Sofia, but somewhere in all this mess this guy is at the centre of it."

"The question is." Sofia said to him as she opened the door to the passenger seat, "How is he connected it? What does he have to do with these murders? And if so, why is he doing?"

"Ummm…excuse me.." A soft voice said.

Sofia turned to look at the young Asian receptionist, small leather purse strung over her shoulder, hand held over it tightly.

"Can we help you?" the detective asked raising her sunglasses above her forehead.

"I think I can help you." She said, "You see, I'm not just the receptionist. I'm actually an informant for a group. A group connected to Regine Stokes. My friend who left the country was also an informant and she was collecting information until she got the feeling that Blainey was onto her and so she went back to India. I can tell you more, please let me come with you and please promise me I'll be safe."

The woman's hands were shaking as she held her purse close to her. She was so tiny that a strong wind could blow her away. Her almond-shaped eyes were filled with fear and she kept looking over her shoulder nervously. Her hair was done up in a pony-tail.

Sofia looked at Warrick who nodded.

"Let's get her back to the Lab."

Warrick opened the door and introduced himself, "I'm Warrick Brown and you are."

"Amber..Amber Wong."

"Nice to meet you Amber."

"Dr. Stokes was indeed pregnant the day she left my office." Dr. Torez said-a voluptuous, Carribean woman said as she passed the file over to Sara.

Sara flipped through it brief and looked back up at the Doctor, "So, she had no intention of terminating the pregnancy."

"No, not at all, she was going to tell her husband that very night I believe."

"Why was she waiting?"

"Ms. Sidle, she was devastated about the loss of the baby and she blamed herself for it. She felt that had been relaxed and not traveling about as much as she did and working on this cause and that, then the baby would have been fine. I tried to convince her otherwise, but she still held on to that belief." The doctor smiled sadly at the memory.

"Where did she go?" Sara asked not recalling any memory of a traveling Regine.

"Oh she want to Southeast Asia, I think she was in Bangkok with an animal protection group to investigate illegal trades parts."

"Did she do that a lot?" Sara became alarmed. Nick hadn't told her any of this.

But then they hadn't been talking-although she knew that his wife did travel to Asia quite a bit with Lee Leadbeater.

The doctor was confused given that this was not in a normal questioning of medical facts, "Well yes, I actually met her 15 years ago in Africa. I was a med student with Medicine Sans Frontiers and she was working with an animal welfare group dealing with poachers. She caused quite a stir over there."

"In what way?"

The doctor scowled, "Sometimes, she was a bit too confrontational with the poachers. She would get in their faces and literally rip them to shred about what they were doing. Usually the activists try and educate the poachers about the impact their hunting as on the local environment, but Regine was straight out telling them they were no better then serial killers back in America. She was a very passionate woman, a little too passionate at times."

Sara eyed the doctor skeptically, "And that's a problem because?"

"Because dealing with poachers can be very dangerous, they are desperate people trying to make a living for their families and if you feel your only means for survival is being threatened, you'll take drastic measures to ensure that doesn't happen." The doctor explained showing pictures on the wall of herself with an African child. "I eventually took her aside and explained it to her, and she came around."

There was a charged pause before Sara asked, "Do you know Dr. Robert Blainey?"

Anger appeared in the doctor's eyes, "I've heard of him. A friend of mine was molested by him."

"Was he charged."

"Yes. He subsequently had his licensed pulled in 1989." Her voice laced in triumphant, "What does he have to do with this?"

"Did you tell Regine." Sara asked skirting around the question.

"We lost touch after Africa, but she reconnected with me again when she moved here. When she told me she was working with him. I filled her on the details and after that, she found out some scrupulous things about him. Mr. Blainey is not a friend to the animals, or to woman or to anyone who feels superior to."

The dark-haired criminalist looked down and closed the file. "Thank you Dr. Torez."

As Sara got outside, her cell phone rang.

It was Archie.

"Hey Archie what's up?"

"I think you need to come back to the lab. On top of those dog fighting clips I found something else. It was encrypted into the computer."

"So my mother has agreed to loan her room to you for the time being."

Nick smirked and said-his voice raspy-"I'm sure she was thrilled about that."

"Oh yeah, she's got my room!"

"Cat! I don't wanna do this you." Nick grimaced, the pain killers wearing off. He longed for the Vicodin packed away in the Roots gym bag he'd purchased in Quebec City.

"Oh don't worry Nick, I've got a cot I can sleep on in Lindsay's room." Catherine tut-tuted him.

The two criminalists were driving home from the hospital. The doctors were astounded by the Texan's remarkable recovery and although hesitant, they decided that he would be released with weekly follow-ups in the Outpatient Clinic. Visits that would include therapy with a voice therapist to ensure his larynx was healing.

A scar was imminent, but frankly Nick didn't care was still very weak, very sore. His face was returning to its normal shade.

His sleep was going to be worse now that he had another nightmare to deal with. The doctors prescribed him Seroquil which they concluded would help with that. However, Nick hated the drug with a passion. It changed the way food tasted and it did nothing for his sleep, so he went back to Ativan.

Catherine Willows was not very happy about the position she was put in at the moment, not that she was unhappy with her friend and colleague staying with him, but more about being his den mother. She's been ticked off as hell at Grissom ever since he unilaterally took the Regine Stokes case out of her hands and into Sara-a woman who had made life difficult for Nick's now-deceased wife. Catherine didn't buy the 'conflict-of-interest' argument at all. Personally, she felt this was Grissom's way for Sara to have her comeuppance. For him to play Karma and Sara to have her day of reckoning.

But that was okay. She was glad to help. It really was in the best interest of the case because she was so close to Regine and Nick.

She was there when their son died, helping with funeral plans and bringing the baby clothes to the hospital.

She was there for Nick in getting the things needed for the funeral of his wife. She even went over and made sure he was eating and drinking when Brass had to pull a double.

Now, Catherine was the one to look after him. She hoped that by staying with her, she could convince him to come back to work. It had been almost three months since he stopped working and the team was feeling the effects of his absence.

"Nick have you seen the therapist yet or called any of those places for victims of crimes."

"No." He answered.

Catherine sighed in exasperation, "Nicky, I know what you are going through right now."

"I know Cat," Nick answered, clearing his throat painfully, "But there's a difference. You still had Lindsay."

"It was close!" Catherine said looking away biting her lips at the memory.

"I know. I'm sorry Catherine." Nick responded mournfully.

Silence ensued but was interrupted by the sounds of rain drops hitting the windshield and the wipers immediately coming to life. Catherine complained about the amount of rain that Vegas had been getting and wondered aloud if global warming was turning Nevada from a desert to a tropical rain forest with Nick answering back that it probably meant the rain forest would soon be a desert and the sloth would make it's home at one of her father's hotels.

The tension in the car broke with that comment and the two laughed lightly at the thought of a the slow-moving creature hanging from a chandelier in a casino.

Then Catherine ruined the moment by bringing up a touchy subject.

"So Nick, what are you going to do with your house?"

Tension filled the vehicle again.

"What about it?" Nick winced at the mention of his humble abode.

"Well, LVPD has signed it off, so you can go back there if you want to get some things."

The criminalist shook his head vehemently, "I can't do it Catherine."

"I'll go with you Nick. At some point we have to go in and pack everything up. You can't leave it sitting there." Catherine said as she pulled into her drive way and parked the vehicle.

She turned to look at Nick whose eyes had welled up.

"I can't go in there Catherine. There's too many memories." He finally managed to blurt out.

She squeezed his hand tightly and gave the man a minute to regain his composure, "I didn't say today, but you don't want the house to sit there and I'm sure there are things that someday you are going to want for memories sake. I still have some of the gifts Eddie gave me, jewelers and stuff. Lindsay still has a teddy bear he gave her when she was three. I even have some gifts that Sam gave me. Those things help us remember the good times we had with them. Even gives us a feeling of being close."

Tears were streaming down his face. Of all the people he worked with, Catherine was the one he felt he could share so much of his life with. She was like a big sister to him.

"Catherine, I never got a chance to tell you how much I appreciate everything you did for Regine. You treated her like a friend." He said shakily.

"She was a friend Nick." Catherine smiled, "I thought she was a wonderful woman, she was a spark. She had a lot of balls in her to go up against some of these big time corporations."

"Reminds me of someone I know." He smiled back at her, "She thought you were so cool. She said when got a chance she wanted to get some clothing tips from you."

"Oh she dressed wonderfully Nick. She had her own flare about her." Catherine laughed flattered, "I think what I loved about her Nick was how happy she made you and how she challenged your boundaries..by the way were you wearing anything under that kilt!"

Nick laughed and rubbed the back of his forefront and answered coyly, "I stuck with tradition is that enough of an answer!"

Catherine laughed in surprised, "And that's why I liked her. She just brought out a wilder side of you Nick. It was nice to see. I hope that doesn't go away."

Nick sighed and smiled.

"What you are remembering?" Catherine asked, "You know your secrets are always safe with me."

"Well," Nick rubbed the back of his head, "Remember when we went to Lady Heather's and how I was shocked by what I saw."

"Oh yeah!" Catherine answered nodding, "You were like a kid who discovered his parents had sex."

"Well, let's just say that if I went in there now I'd probably be remembering some of things I did with Regine. She was a…"

"Adventurous girl?"

"Very!" Nick smiled, "It was never a dull moment and after a long, horrid shift it was nice to come home to a warm body and release some of that tension and remember there are still some things in the world to enjoy."

Catherine looked at Nick and decided not to tell him that Regine had confided their sex life in her and that she knew about his 'shock' and 'horror' at the Lady Heather House.

"_Well," She told Catherine in the bathroom at the Dogs of Eads, "I guess I'm gonna have to show Nick that one can have fun with a little S&M."_

"_I doubt it!" Catherine moaned, "Mr. Old Fashion he is.."_

"_Oh he's not that old fashion Catherine..trust me.." She said and then whispered a few things to Catherine whose eyes widened._

_She looked at the back of Regine's head, "I'm surprised you have hair left back there."_

"_Oh I tell him not to pull too roughly! I find a pony tail works!" _

Catherine turned to Nick again.

"Nick you still need to deal with the house though. You can't let it sit there. I know a couple of real estate brokers who can help you out. I mean, do you want to still live there?"

"Christ no! I can't live there." The Texan responded alarmed at the mere thought.

"Then you need to look at clearing out and selling." Catherine told him. She really hated having to put this on him, but the sooner he took care of the house, the sooner he could start picking up the pieces for she knew better then anyone how important it was to go on living no matter how much tragedy was thrown at you.

Nick pressed the bandage around the wound and rasped out, "I'm not ready yet."

"I know. When you are, I'm there for you. It can just be the two of us, Nick. Okay."

Catherine said squeezing his hand tighter.

He nodded, sniffling.

They pulled up to the house where the two of them got out and got Nick's bags out of the back. Brass had brought over most of Nick's things earlier feeling remorseful that he hadn't been there when his friend was attacked.

In her kitchen, sat Linday sat cross-legged at the kitchen table, lap top in front of her, scanning a website that read 'Facebook' while munching on a granola bar.

Catherine smiled, "Hi sweetie."

Her daughter looked up, brown eyes widening in surprise to see Nick. Pony-tail bopping away.

"Hi mom." Then Lindsay got up from the table, walked over and gave Nick a hug.

"I'm sorry Nick." She hugged him gingerly conscious of his cracked ribs.

"Thanks Lindsay." He hugged back. The kid was a sweetie and was growing into a lovely young woman who took the bags from his and hauled them off to the room where he was staying.

"Where's grandma?" Catherine asked as she set the bags down in the hallway.

Lindsay came back out and grabbed the remaining bags "Out in the backyard doing her Tai Chi. She said something about channeling some unwanted energy."

Catherine looked at Nick who smiled with amusement. It was going to be interesting staying with the Willows.

"I'm gonna miss talking to Regine on Facebook." Sighed Lindsay as she flopped back down at the table and motioned to her lap top, "She used to message me about all these cool bands, she was old, but cool!"

"Lindsay!" Catherine gasped given the fact that Regine was quite a bit younger then herself. But to a teenager anything over 20 is considered old.

Nick, however, had his attention on something other then age, "On where?"

Catherine had gone into the fridge and pulled out some sandwich meat, bread, mayo and tomatoes, "Oh the equivalent of My Space..a social networking site."

He laughed, "Really, and my wife was on this thing."

Lindsay nodded and motioned him to sit down.

She clicked on a menu at the top of the blue and white page that said 'Friends" and scrolled down to where a picture of Regine and Dexter were.

"See."

Nick nodded, "Can we see it?"

"Done." The teenager announced triumphantly.

The page loaded and there was Regine's profile page. Lindsay pushed the lap top over and told her mom she had to get ready for soccer practice.

Nick was intrigued and didn't even notice that Catherine had set down a salami sub for him.

He looked at a section called "Mini Feed'

_Regine joined Obama For President Group_

Nick strolled down taking notes of the 'Friends' she had made and then saw the list of groups she was in.

"Nick," Catherine said, "Are you sure you should be doing this.." Her blue eyes narrowing with concern for her colleague.

"Just checking Catherine, my wife didn't tell me she was on Facebook." Nick didn't take his eyes off the screen.

"Maybe she was embarrassed. It's usually used by teens."

Lindsay bopped into the kitchen in soccer sorts and red shirt.

"Not really mom. Nick you should click to her friends and see who she had listed. She had a lot of friends."

Nick bought the arrow back up to the top of the page and clicked on it.

At least 120 friends his wife had. Most he knew, but some he didn't recognize.

"You know." He pondered thoughtfully, "Maybe I can a get an idea of what her and Lee were up to before she died through this page."

"Not your place Nicky." Catherine ready to grab the lap top from him.

"Catherine.." Nick shook his head gripping it tightly, "I gotta do something. For her..at least let me find out what it was that got her killed..maybe I can finish it for her. That's all I'm doing."

Catherine leaned back into the kitchen chair sighting heavily. She knew how he felt, probably more so then the rest of the team. It was agonizing to watch your loved murder being handled so matter-of-factly and professionally knowing full well you have the skills and know-how to solve it yourself, but having to stand back and let the team do it's work in its slow and methodical answer.

Nick was always the emotional one of the team. The impulsive one. However, time, age and experience had all but tamed the eager dog about him. Catherine could see that young, impulsive Nick Stokes coming from a place of rage and vulnerability.

Catherine had to trust that Nick would keep his word and simply "finish" what Regine had started.

The blonde criminalist ran a hand through her hair and nodded, "Okay let's go through this Facebook page.."


	12. Chapter 12

**THIS WOMAN'S WORK**

**CHAPTER 12**

_**Sister Stang didn't try to run away. Instead, she opened the Bible she was carry in her hand and read a passage from the gospel of Matthew: "Blessed are they who hunger and thirst for justice, for they will be satisfied." As she closed the Bible and turned to go, the gunmen opened fire.**_

_**Anderson Cooper talking about Sister Dorothy Stang, Advocate for the Amazon Rainforest.**_

Sara rubbed her eyes. Sleep was a friend that eluded her these days. No matter how hard she tried to catch it, it found a way of escaping in the form of new information or new evidence on the Regine Stokes case.

As Archie scanned through the video clips he unencrypted from Regine's Lab Top, Sara eased aching as she walked around the Asian man hunched over the stool in front of the large monitor.

"I found it in an unnamed file." He explained, "It wasn't on her desktop. Sorry about that, I usually don't miss these kinds of things."

"Don't worry about Archie." Sara mumbled as she stretched her neck from side to side before pulling up a second stood and sitting down beside Archie.

She watched as the file downloaded and bouncing images appeared before settling on a pile of animal skins as an Asian man spoke in broken English to the person holding the camera about them.

"Bengal Tiger, $2000 American." The pock-marked man said as he looked up to someone out of view of the camera.

Then it appeared as if the camera was moving on to another display-a pile of snake skins, skins decorated lavishly.

"Why does the image keep bouncing?" Sara's eyes strained at the images.

"It must have been a hidden camera filming this," Archie concluded, voice hoarse, "I can tell by the angles from where this was shot. It was pretty blurred when I found it, so I did some cleaning."

He turned the volume up. Sara listened keenly to the voices speaking rapidly to one another.

"What kind of a language is that?"

"Umm..definately Mandarin Chinese-which is the official language of Taiwan." Archie explained, "I think I can hear some Taiwanese though."

"So this was filmed in Taiwan?" Sara asked raising her eyes.

"I'm pretty sure."

"_God! Look at them all. I can't fucking believe what I see. Don't these people realize they are hunting these animals to extinction." A male voice said._

"That had to be Lee Leadbeater." Sara said, "I can tell by the English accent."

"_They don't care Lee." Regine's voice said, "The rarer the animal, the higher the price. Oh shit, look Civet Cats!"_

Small cat like animals with black, pointy noses peering through small cages appeared on the screen. They looked frightened, confused-making Sara want to burst into tears while equally thanking herself that she was a vegetarian-after all what was the difference between eating a cow and one of these animals?

"_SARs was started because some moron was eating these cats. His crap leaked into the drinking in his apartment building and BINGO epidemic-killed hundreds of people around the world." Regine said._

"I think this was filmed in Bangkok." Archie said, "I recognize the streets."

"Do you know for sure?"

"I traveled there for about three months while I was in university." Archie explained, "It's a beautiful country, but there's a lot of illegal animal trade there. The traders are pretty coy though, they close their shops if they catch win that the authorities are on the their way."

"What's this place called that Regine is in?" Sara asked looking closer at the screen.

"It's Jutujak market." He answered, "You can buy anything there. It's a pretty cool place, but it's a hub of illegal animal trade market.. They had everything there from tortoises from Madagascar, lemurs."

"Aren't the authorities doing anything?" Sara asked slightly angered by the vision of these beautiful creatures being treated so horrifically.

"They're trying." Archie answered sadly, "But usually by the time the authorities get there, the stores close down and the law doesn't allow them to go in unless they can clearly see evidence that there are endangered animals in there. It sucks. I went to the authorities while I was over there and told them, but by the time the police got there, the animals were gone and replaced with cute little puppies."

"That's horrible." Sara griped angrily.

"The animals are kept in terrible conditions." Archie said as clips of Lemurs.

"Where do they go?"

"China is one of the biggest consumers of illegal animal parts." Archie answered.

"The theory is that the Chinese eat everything. Usually they consume them for medicinal reasons. I mean your going back 12, 000 years."

Sara laughed sardonically, "So, that doesn't mean they work."

"Well no," Archie agreed, "There's not enough scientific evidence to prove that of course, but it's hard to change habits that old."

"So, Regine was over there filming footage but for whom? And why?"

"He was operating a business in China that utilized illegal animal parts for medicinal purposes and I suspect he was trying to bring them over here." A voice answered.

Archie and Sara turned to see Grissom walking in.

"I think you'd like to meet this lady Sara. She worked with Mr. Blainey, but was operating undercover as an informant with the same animal welfare group Regine worked with."

Nick drove along in his truck to a small office off the Strip. Catherine convinced the cop that he was fine and didn't need him. He had agreed to shove some pain killers into his pocket, and a cell phone cell

Hearing her voice calmed him and eased his pain slightly and with that came a resolve to finish what she started: reveal Blainey's evil deeds to the right people and have him sitting gloriously where he belonged-a jail cell.

Nick hoped that if he was convicted that he'd get the needle. He knew Regine would be opposed to such a punishment, but as far as Nick was concerned this man is responsible for at least two murders.

After about six hours and a lot of researching, Catherine and he had listed all the groups that his wife was in and though some of them only existed through the website. A few actually existed and had contact names. The contact names had other contact names who knew people who could talk only on line to see for sure if it was Nick Stokes. Once they knew. They felt safe to talk. Once they felt safe to talk. Nick had names.

Phone call after phone call and the jackpot was hit. Nick contacted a woman named Beverly MacLuan of STOP THE TRADE-a grassroots organization that specialized in flushing out Illegal Animal Trades in the US.

Catherine had wanted to go with him, but Nick opposed it. They argued vehement ally about it, but finally she relented.

Unknown to Nick, she had called in a favour from one of Sam's friends who would be nearby watching the Texan.

He finally found the place and parked his vehicle next to a decrepit building that had seen better days.

Nick got out of his truck taking stock of the dent that was still there from the night of his attack. Sliding some shades on under a Texas Ranger baseball cap, he looked around and saw a women standing in front of a decrepit building that seen better days. She was dressed in skinny jeans, black boots, and a long t-shirt with an empire waste. Her hair was black with heavy bangs and the rest pulled into a pony tail. She appeared to be about 40 ish, but had the youthful look of a twenty something.

Nick pulled his shades off and slowly made his way to the door. The office was located in a slummy part of Vegas. A far cry from the bright lights of the casino areas, a chain link fence surrounded a run down basket ball court which some youngster made use of. Nick smiled as a young girl of about seven with sandy brown hair done up in a pony tail stood underneath while an older boy who looked like a teenage Warrick knelt down beside her giving her some tips.

He turned away from the innocent view and stopped in front of the woman who looked extremely suspicious.

"And you're?" She asked quietly.

"I'm Nick Stokes." Nick held out his hand and silently scolded himself for the not clearing his throat before greeting her.

She folded her arms and responded, "ID on you?"

Nick quickly pulled out his driver's license to show her.

She pursed her lips and then said, "I know what you do for a living Mr. Stokes, but are you snooping around for business or for your own answers."

Nick shook his head, "I just want to finish what Regine started?"

"And perhaps get some answers on her murder?" She raised her eyebrows quizzically.

The Texan nodded, taking off his shades.

Beverly's eyes widened slightly at the sight of his faced decorated in a plethora of yellow, blue, and purple and then her eyes zeroed in on the bandage across his throat.

"Are you sure you're up to it after what you've been through?" She said nervously.

"How do you know about that?" Nick squeaked out.

"It was all over the news." She answered, "Nancy Grace certainly had a field day with that one."

"I'm sure she did." Nick sighed.

Silence for a moment as the two of them sized each other up.

"And you're alone?" Beverly asked him.

"Yeah…I'm alone." Nick gestured around him indicating that he was indeed here solely of his own will.

She nodded satisfied that he was telling the truth, "Then come on in."

She opened a yellow paint-chipped door and showed him in.

Up a long staircase they went. Nick couldn't help but ask, "If you're the good guys,then why the suspicion.."

She stopped and leaned over to whisper, "Because the bad guys play the role of the good guys here."

Nick looked at her confused by the answer.

She unlocked a door at the top of the landing, "Mr. Stokes."

"Call me Nick."

"Nick, the kind of people involved in this thing are..well..held in high esteem in our society.."

The decrepit door held the name, "Beverly McLuhan, LLB. Barrister and Solicitor."

"Don't look like a lawyer's office to me?" Nick muttered, his brown eyes darting about taking in the surroundings.

"I'm not a high end lawyer, Mr. Stokes. I do legal aid cases for clients in trouble with our somewhat social safety net. People on social assistance who have been 'overpaid'" She said to him as she led him into an office that was sparse save for a desk with papers piled sky high. A TV and VCR/DVD player stood on a stand nearby.

Nick smirked, "They don't get paid much to begin with."

"Only the politicians can double dip sir." She said as she sat behind her desk, motioned for Nick to have a seat and started to rummage through her files

"So why was Regine involved with your group?" He asked sitting on a hard, plastic chair.

"I have nothing here for you to drink or eat." She said as she opened a drawer and rummaged through her desk, pulling out DVDs.

"I'm fine." Nick answered flatly wanting to get on with business.

"Nick your wife was an incredibly, brave woman and I was deeply, deeply saddened by her death, but at the same time I was not surprised." Beverly said shaking her head sadly. 

Nick's dark brown eyes narrowed, "Why?"

"Because she was living a double life," Beverly explained, "but not in the way you think. You see in her own way, she was trying to solve a crime."

"What do you mean?" Nick asked.

Smiling, Beverly flicked on the TV and DVD player and slid the disc in and sat on the desk waiting for Nick's reaction.

Nick ran a tongue over dry lips as he carefully watched the screen

A Latino man smiling appeared stroking a brindle coloured Pit Bull Terrier.

"This is Rocky and today he's gonna win the championship!"

"How do you mean?" Tre's voice stated.

"He's gonna kick that other dog's scrawny ass!"

Nick looked at Beverly in shock.

"What the hell was Regine doing hanging around with gangsters!!!!" He cried.

"No, she was not hanging around with gangsters Nick, She was involved in busting dog fights. Using Tre, she conned her way into the dog fighting world and then was getting ready to report it to the authorities. She had the kid go and secretly video tape the fights and we were going to the authorities with our evidence. She helped us bust a major ring a few weeks ago, but for obvious reasons, she didn't want anyone to know about it."

"Dog fighting is a federal offence!" Nick exhaled deeply.

"You know Nick as well as I do that doesn't stop most criminals."

Nick sat for a few minutes watching the horror unfold as the beautiful brindle dog was mauled whimpered as the larger dog gripped his head and hung on.

Pit Bulls are fierce dogs and as much as Nick loved dogs, he'd never own one because you can't take the fight out of the dog and he didn't have the patience to work on them. He admired the people who did.

Except the ones that simply owned them for fighting.

"Regine managed to get Tre to video tape hours of local gangs involved with dog fighting to send into the police, but then things got a little sticky because as it turns out. Tre ran into one of Regine's colleagues."

Beverly paused the DVD and zoomed in one face in particular.

Nick's brown eyes widened in horror, "Dr. Blainey!!!"

She smiled, "This is all started when Tre told Regine about some dog fighting he'd witnesses when he was involved in a street gang. She started to investigate a little further. Thanks to Tre, she and Lee managed to find out where the fighting took place. Unfortunately, this was more then mere street fighting type dog fights."

Nick nodded, "I know dog fighting is a pretty serious problem in Nevada. Not only is it illegal to bet on a dog fight. Raids have uncovered major drug operations and labs."

Beverly nodded, "And Dr. Blainey was a major player in this particular operation that Regine helped uncover shortly before her death."

Tears welled in Nick's eyes, "Why the fuck didn't she tell me what she was doing?"

"Because she didn't want you to be targeted."

"Me!" Nick gasped.

"Blainey somehow found out she was involved. He recognized Tre and figured out the connection to Regine. They had no clue that he was going to be there." Beverly said sadly, "She didn't want you involved because this was her battle. She didn't want anyone to think that you helped her."

"But I could have helped her!" Nick said, "And I could have kept her safe!"

"Nick, please understand, she was trying to keep it secret from everyone other then us. And that included you. If you knew, you'd be trying to help her and then it would like you were involved. CSI connected with Animal Rights Group."

"So what!" Nick retorted angrily jumping up and pacing about, arms crossed.

Beverly eyed the man, and sighed. Nick Stokes was no pompous crime fighter as she thought. He was exactly how Regine described him-a caring, loving man.

"You want to be a crime fighter linked to an animal rights group Nick. It doesn't look good for you." She said, "You guys aren't our friends either. You've arrested several of us for taking animals out of labs. Regine treated many dogs, cats, mice and rabbits that were rescued from labs. You guys investigate these same labs, find evidence and arrest our guys."

"So Regine was an undercover animal rights activist." Nick concluded, "And she thought that I either would have made her turn her friends in, or left her over it."

"She was worried about your reputation in the community Nick." Beverly countered.

"Oh fuck my reputation."

"She loved you and if it weren't for this recent activity, I think she would have removed herself all together. But I should add that her involvement with use went as far as treating animals we liberated from the labs, and that's all. She never asked where they came from and we would take the animals and adopt them out privately. Regine only donated her vet services to us. Nick. She kept her nose out of it for the most part, until the dog fighting issue came to light. It all started with Dexter."

Nick stared at her quizzically. "Our cat? Why?"

"Your cat with three legs? Did Regine ever tell you why he has three legs."

The Texan answered, "He was in a leg hold trap."

"He was used as bait to train dogs. Luckily, Tre intervened and brought him to the clinic. Then he told Regine that he swore he saw Blainey at one of the fights, which pissed her off big time, so that's when she became an informant. This all started shortly before you lost your child."

"Yeah I remember, she headed off to Asia or something to do some educating. I didn't like it too much. I wanted her home for obvious reasons, but she was headstrong like that." Nick sighed in a self-flagellating kind of way.

"Well, that's when she discovered Blainey's involvement in the illegal animal trade. While she was there, one of our other informants told her that they'd seen Blainey over there talking with one of the vendors."

"Is there nothing that this guy does that is moral?" Nick laughed incredulously.

"No he needs to be controlling and abusing something to confirm his own existence as a human being."

Nick sighed and leaned back, "Blainey killed her because once again Regine caught him in something illegal, so he kills her, but why rape her?" He ran a hand over his face as horrid images ran through his mind of what Regine must have gone through. He'd been at enough rape/murder crime scenes to know exactly what goes on.

_Regine had defense wounds on her arms, so she fought like hell! She fought to stay alive even though the bastard was fucking defiling her!_

_Part of him wondered what Regine would be like had she lived? Would she be the same woman as before? Probably not given his experience with rape victims, she would be traumatized and given her personality-angry, but seeking forgiveness somewhere in that soul of hers. Her faith in God would have seen her through._

_And he would have been there for her-he hoped-God he'd rather have her alive yet scared for life then lying in a fucking grave. He would have quit his job if it meant protecting her from something like that ever happening again._

_Some men run from women who have been raped, Nick liked to think he wasn't one of them. He'd like to think he was the Knight in Shining Armour, but he would never know how he would have been had she lived, but still-he'd much rather her alive._

"Nick? Did you hear me?"

Nick emerged from deep thoughts, "Sorry what did you say?"

"He was a sexual predator and in my rudimentary knowledge in psychology tells me that this man was a sociopath, not caring about other's feelings other then his own. He's got the most notorious past. Regine called him on it several times. She fired him from the clinic not only because of his giving animals over to labs illegally, embezzlement, but he was sexually harassing her."

Nick's nostrils flared, "She didn't say anything about that to me."

"She was very embarrassed about it."

"She didn't need to be. It wasn't her fault."

"Well, Blainey had some kind of sick obsession with her. I guess she was one of the few women who stood up to him. That kind of strength challenged his libido."

"Sick bastard." Nick muttered his jaw tightening.

"There's something else. As you mentioned, your wife traveled to over to Asia a lot."

"Yeah she was working with the World Animal Protection Agency." Nick shrugged.

"She was an informant there. She's been doing it for years."

"What do you mean an informant?" Nick was befuddled, "For whom!?"

"The local authorities in whichever country she worked in."

"I'm confused." Nick said, "I thought she was going there to educate the locals about purchasing illegal animals."

"No. She was there to go undercover as a tourist."

"What was she trying to find out?"

"She used to go undercover into Jutujak market in Thailand and film illegal animal trade there." Beverly explained then smiled, "She used to wear a black wig over that red hair so she wouldn't stand out too much and with Lee would pretend to be husband and wife and they'd walk through the market with hidden cameras filming all kinds of footage. They were a great team."

Nick sat back in disbelief. His wife had a secret life all right and with Lee Leadbeater, but it wasn't what he thought. Even though it was a well known fact the Lee was a homosexual, Nick still entertained the thought that a part of the man was physically attracted to Regine.

"How does this all connect to Robert Blainey?" Nick asked.

"How do you think he bankrolled his dog fighting enterprise?" Beverly answered, "He made millions from the trade which he would then use towards his 'hobby'.

All the pieces of the puzzle suddenly seemed to fit together.

"And Regine knew about this?"

"Oh she suspected all along that he was doing this, it was a matter of putting together a tight case to bring to the authorities. She was almost there and then.."

"And somehow Blainey found out what she was up to." Nick concluded, "I guess the question is how did he find out?"

"I think we have to look at his wife, or ex-wife."

"The director of the humane society where Regine worked." Nick answered his own question.

"Who has her own informants." Beverly told her. "I'm not sure who told her."

Nick frowned, "Tre Smith."

"No. Tre was an informant for us for the dog fighting. It was easy enough to get him in there because he fit right in the crowd."

"He's missing." Nick told her, "I'm worried about him."

Beverly smiled and leaned over "He's fine. He's with me. I can assure you he would not betray Regine like that."

Nick took stalk of this information and then asked.

"Beverly, if I promise your safety? Will you come forward with this? There's someone over at the lab who can help you. Say you'd like to in under the witness protection plan. I promise she'll listen to you and help you to get the protection you need."

"No." She shook her head, "My life is here. I can't do that to my children."

"Please," Nick pleaded, "For my wife's sake. I just want answers. It won't bring her back, but I need some kind of closure. I feel like part of my soul is gone. I'm not going to get it back, but for fuck's I'd like to see the person responsible for all this brought to justice?"

Tears slid down the woman's eyes as she stared at the man in front her. Not only was he physically bruised, but he was also broken in another way: Emotionally.

Nick inhaled, "I was watching Anderson Cooper's 'Planet in Peril' the other day and there was nun in the Amazon who was fighting to save the rain forest. She was a feisty little soul who made a lot of enemies with the ranchers. One day she ran into some gunman in the forest who shot her. I mean hasn't there been enough of people trying to do good being murdered."

Beverly nodded, 'I know about Dorothy Strang and I don't want to wind up like her Nick!"

"But isn't it time for those who kill people trying to make the world a better place to come to justice. Isn't that what you want. This is not just about animal rights, this is a about bringing a man to justice who is responsible for the deaths of two people seeking justice for those who can't speak for themselves. Regine and Lee did what others can't be bothered doing."

Beverly clearing her throat loudly turned away to look out the window.

"Isn't that what you guys are about?" Nick continued, "Protecting the innocent, if you continue to be intimidated by the Robert Blaineys of the world, then none of you will succeed."

"Those two kids down there are mine. The boy Marshall was my husband's son. His father died in a car accident last year. The little is my daughter from a previous marriage. I can't turn their lives upside down."

"So run away and that's what you will teach them." Nick told her.

Beverly looked at him hard, "You don't know what it is like Mr. Stokes. You don't have children."

Nick winced, "Yes I had a child, but he died."

"Had your child lived you might have changed careers-wanted something safer so as not to leave your kids alone in this world."

"But you already are doing things to put their lives in jeopardy. Why are you here then?" Nick retorted.

"Touche!"

"Fine, I'll go over and give them this information. Hopefully, I can can work out a deal that will keep my identitiy as anonymous as possible." She sighed heavily.

Beverly stared hard at Nick who stood up and said, "Thank you, for everything."

"Amber this is amazing stuff you've given us!" Sara said to the young woman who although looked frightened, was also clearly happy to see she was helping.

Fatigue was replaced by jubilation. This girl had brought in records and records of transactions that linked Blainey to several illegal activities and the list was long.

They had brought in Bronwyn Bruch, the forensics' accountant who went over the records and confirmed that Mr. Blainey was indeed a busy man.

"He was embezzling money from the pharmaceutical company to purchase illegal animal parts, which he sold to pharmaceuticals in China who had a 'traditional medicine' division that he was investing in from which he bank rolled a dog fighting ring." Ms. Bruch explained.

"He was a busy, busy man!" Sara concluded after the accountant left.

Amber nodded, "He had his finger in every pie he could."

Then the tape was played-a tiny tape from a hidden voice-activated recorder.

"The fucking bitch is at it again, and she's got her crime fighting guy there with her." Blainey said to someone whose voice was inaudible.

The tape ended there.

"How come it took so long for you to get this tape to us?" Grissom asked.

"I didn't make this tape, my friend did and I didn't know where to look because she was murdered."

They looked at her.

"She and her husband are animal protection workers in India. They were found burned to death in their home. The authorities suspect it was poachers who killed them.

so another friend figured out how to get into his office."

Grissom eyed her, "Was his name Tre Smith?"

Amber nodded nervously, "Yeah."

"That was his specialty!" Brass chuckled.

"Well it came in handy!" Amber said, "And we finally found this tape yesterday. You're timing in coming to Blainey's office was heaven sent!"

Sara smiled, "You have done us a huge favour, and we can try and ask the DA to protect your identity."

Amber smiled and shook her head, "I don't want it. I'm not scared."

"You should be!" Grissom told her concerned.

"No, I'm not. I want Blainey to see me there in the court room testifying against him. He molested my mother when she was pregnant with me. My mother never got over it. Never had another child."

They all stared at this young woman in both shock and in awe.

"My mother suffers from severe anxiety. She hasn't been able to work since Blainey attacked her. My father doesn't even know about it because their marriage would be over and she can't support herself."

Amber's eyes were steely as she described this scene.

"Her saving grace was our hobby farm. She took in everything from cats to horses."

"Animals are wonderful sources of healing for people who have been traumatized." Grissom said.

Amber smiled, "Then I caught wind that Blainey was a vet in Vegas. My friend told me that Regine Stokes had his license revoked."

"And that's when he started working for a pharmaceutical company." Sara concluded.

"Yeah, wife got him that job," Amber explained, "Then he dumped her for some secretary who then left him."

The group laughed at the irony of Blainey's personal life.

"He's brilliant!" Amber explained, "He graduated Cum Laude from each medical program he did."

"How did he get involved with the illegal trade of animals?" Sara asked.

"It's a lucrative business in Asia." She said, "He gave workshops on how to carve just the right parts out of an animal."

"And the dog fighting?"

"Just another hobby for him." Amber answered, "Another way for him to control helpless beings. I'm sure Freud would have something to say about that."

Grissom smiled in amusement, "Well Pit Bulls are quite large dogs."

"Yes, I guess he needed to compensate for something?" Amber crossed her arms and smirked.

Sara looked at Brass, "Would this information be enough to get a judge to give us a warrant to search Blainey's office and home?"

"I can see to it." He said, "I can try and get it to cover as many perimeters as possible since Blainey was a very, very busy man."

"And he liked his combat boots." Hodges voice said from the door.

"After hours of research, I managed to narrow down the list of purchases of the Altana boots to a one Kathleen O'Sullivan. The ex wife of Robert Blainey."

"Wow!!!" Sara said feeling a sense of euphoria as it appeared things were starting to come together."

"And," Hodges held up another file, "That imprint on Nick's face, the numbers. I matched it up to Cornell University."

Sara flipped through her file and looked up, "Blainey graduated from medical school there in 19.."

"1982" Hodges interrupted not wanting to share the spot light with anyone!"

"But we still don't know know how Regine is involved in all this." Grissom said raining on the parade, "We know she was an informant, but we aren't sure."

"Somehow she found out Grissom." Sara said.

Amber said, "I don't know how she knew what he was up to."

Grissom sighed, "I'm going back to my office to lay down Sara. Let me know how the search goes."

Grissom walked down the narrow halls of the Lab his thoughts racing.

_While it was great that they knew or strongly suspected Blainey of the murders, they didn't what. So what was the motive in all this?_

_And it is still all coincidental. There was no physical evidence linking Blainey to any of the crimes. The guy knew how to work clean._

"Gil Grissom to the Reception area please! Gil Grissom!" Judy's voice rang over the PA.

Sighing in exasperation as his hopes for a nap to ease his headache were dashed, he headed to the Reception where Judy told him there was someone who wanted to see him.

A woman appearing to be in her forties stood up and walked over to him, nervously holding a brief case.

"You are Mr. Grissom?"

"Yes, what can I do for you?"

"I have some information about the Regine Stokes murder case?" She said.

Grissom's eyes widened, "Come with me."

-------------------------------------


	13. Chapter 13

_**CHAPTER 13**_

_**THIS WOMAN'S WORK**_

THIS WOMAN'S WORK

_**Tim Donohue**__: Leave this Justin. Go home.   
__**Justin Quayle**__: I can't go home. Tessa was my home._

_The Constant Gardner by John LeCarre_

Grissom listened intently to Beverly while watching the video in the A/V room.

Indeed it was disturbing. Images of beautiful animals reduced to mere carpets and fabric. However, that's not what Grissom was looking for. Through Sara he knew all too well about the animal trade, it was the sight of Regine talking to a vendor that caught his eye.

"Archie zoom in on that guy there."

Archie zeroed in on the face and then zoomed in. The face emerged and then focused.

The room was quiet as the face became apparent to all.

"Robert Blainey." Grissom sighed.

Brass slouched in a plastic chair before running a hand through his thinning hair.

"Well," He finally said after the video ended, "That's something. Regine had this double life of an animal rights activist and Nick didn't even know about it. Go figure."

Beverly stared hard at him, "You talk about animal rights activism as some warm and fuzzy thing Detective. This is not about animal rights, this is a woman who was most likely murdered for getting in the way of some powerful-or so they think they are- people."

"Look, all I know is Beverly." Brass began, paused and continued, "Is that I had her husband-now a widower-at my house for several weeks completely shattered because his wife chose to be an underground crusader for a few tigers."

"Jim!" Grissom scolded softly shaking, "That's enough."

"No!" Brass barked, "Gil you haven't lived with Nicky and seen what kind of shape he's been in. It's been hell to watch him. I had to literally make him get out of bed the first few days just to take a friggin' shower. You didn't have to listen to him sobbing at night. He didn't know I heard, but the walls are kind of thin in my house and I never said anything to him."

He turned back to Beverly, "Why didn't you tell her to stop once you knew Blainey was involved?"

Beverly pressed her thin, lips together, "Because she didn't want to stop, she wanted to do this. She did stop eventually."

"When?" Grissom asked.

"About two months ago, she came and told me that she was pulling out. It was after she discovered Blainey was involved and she said for 'personal reasons' she no longer wanted to be an Informant with us."

"Why didn't you come forward sooner?" Brass asked.

"Why do you think?" She answered fiercely.

Grissom was thoughtful for a moment and said, "It doesn't matter now. Beverly, I'm going to call the DA and have him come down and discuss protection for you and your family from anyone involved in this case."

Beverly nodded nervously, "Thank you Mr. Grissom." But she wasn't done. She turned to a fuming Brass and said calmly, "Detective Brass, I don't think you should summarize Regine's activities has mere Animal Rights work, she didn't even like that term too much because it denotes violence and she didn't believe that violence solved anything."

Brass remained silent.

Grissom motioned to Brass to follow him while a uniform stationed outside escorted Beverly to the D.A's office.

As soon as she was out earshot, Grissom cornered Brass, "What the hell is your problem?"

"What's my problem?!" Brass asked incredulously, "What do you think? Nick's wife getting popped off because she was a crusader for some four-legged creatures? I don't believe it!"

"We don't know if that's why she died Jim?" Grissom said, "For all we know this was a crime of passion. Blainey's a sexual predator."

"I just..I'm just burnt out!" Brass said, shoulders slumping, "It was hard..you know..I felt helpless that last few weeks with Nick. The guy was a mess for weeks and then he almost gets himself killed. If it was because Regine was trying to protect a few tigers then…you know? Was it worth it?"

Grissom was solemn for a moment and then spoke carefully, "First of all, I don't think she was murdered for the sake of a few animals Jim, I really believe that she was the victim of a maniacal human being that she stood up to and for that we should be proud of her. Secondly, Jim, people for centuries have been murdered for their beliefs as far back as Jesus Christ."

Brass scoffed, "So Regine was the patron saint of the furry and feathered kind with a few lizards and turtles thrown in for good measure?"

"No that's Saint Francis of Assisi."

"Whatever, I just hope your right Grissom."

"What difference does it make anyways Jim?" Grissom snapped sick of this nowhere conversation, "She's dead and the emphasis on our job is more on who and how as opposed to why."

With that Grissom walked away from the detective.

Sara strolled through the crowded, dusty basement of Kathleen O'Sullivan's house; flash light held high. Its beam highlighting the momentous volume of junk stored with dust particles undulating through the stale air.

Greg crouched in a corner pulling out boxes, slicing them open and combing through the contents.

"Well, well, well, look what I found?" Catherine's called out sassily.

Sara quickly stepped around some boxes to see what Catherine had found hidden amongst some other paintings that were laid against a wall.

A painting of a cougar sitting amongst some snow – written off to the side was.

_Happy Birthday Regine-Robert Bateman_

Catherine smiled sardonically at Sara, "Well, well I wonder what THIS was doing here."

Sara snorted, "A loaner!"

"Yeah right!" Catherine laughed setting it aside.

" Hey I wonder what this is doing here?" Warrick called out from the other side.

Sara carefully made her way over to Warrick pointing to another painting on the wall.

A portrait of a tiger face, snow flakes covering the whiskers.

"I remember this painting because it kind of freaked out Tina when Regine gave her the grand tour of the house."

Sara aimed her flashlight to the corner, "This was the other painting Regine was given to her by her first husband, signed by the artist himself, Robert Bateman."

Sara looked at Warrick and smirked, "You'd think they do a better job of covering up the inscription."

"Yeah really!" Warrick answered taking the painting down.

"Guys, look at this?" Greg called standing up holding a plastic grocery bag.

The crew went over and watched as Greg pulled out a coat hanger that had been unwind and studied it closely.

One end of it was covered in lumpy, red clumps. Sara rummaged through her box and pulled out the solution and a swab and quickly dabbed the swab on the coated end of the hanger before squeezing the Phenolthalein on it.

Within seconds, the white cotton of the swab blossomed bright red.

"It's definitely blood." She announced to everyone.

"If it's Regine, she was murdered by a knife. We're not sure what kind." Catherine thought out loud.

"Yeah, but I bet it came from this."

The tall gangly black man held open a leather kit with "Congratulations Robert" written in gold on the side of the cover.

"Something's missing in here." Warrick announced eyes wide.

"I know what it is?" Sara answered, "The murder weapon." She grabbed the kit from Warrick and marched upstairs angrily and corralled Kathleen O'Sullivan who stood in a Martha Stewart-style kitchen arms folded in defiance as Sofia pressed her for more information.

Shoving Sofia aside, Sara pushed the kit into the woman's face.

"What's missing out from here!?" She demanded.

The woman stared at her in surprise and answered, "I have no idea!"

"Oh don't give me that!!" Sara answered angrily ready to throttle this woman, "You damn well know what's in here."

Sofia broke in, "Where's your ex-husband Ms. O'Sullivan!?"

"I don't know. He left early this morning and I haven't seen him since." Tears were running down the older woman's surgically altered face.

Sara broke in a cold sweat and raced down stairs to find Catherine.

"Where's Nick?" She asked her Superior.

"I don't know." Catherine answered, biting her lips. "He didn't come home last night. His friend Iris and her husband picked him up at a bar and took him home to sleep it off."

Sara whipped open her cell and called Nick's number.

No answer.

"What's wrong Sara?" Greg asked concerned.

"I think Nick's in danger!" She said, chills running down her spine.

She raced up almost jumping up all the steps to find Sofia.

"We need to get an APB out for Nick. I think Blainey's after him."

Sofia didn't even wait for Sara to finish as she put in a call to Dispatch to put a BOLO out for Nick and Robert Blainey.

Meanwhile, Sara called Grissom.

"Gil, we have the paintings and we have bloodied coat anger, but I think Nick's in danger again. We need to find him now."

Her voice trailed off as Greg came out with bloodied men's clothing bagged.

"Found these behind a trunk in the basement." He told her, "The match the description of the clothes Lee Leadbeater was last seen wearing."

He sat in his truck outside his house-their house, rain pouring down the thunder crashing-jarring Nick from forlorn reverie.

The house still had Regine's tiny bunny statues in front of the. She wasn't one for those stupid gnomes that their next door neighbours madly decorated their own front yard with. No his girl went for animal (what else) statues.

"_Mommy, daddy and baby rabbit!" She explained to Nick when he asked her about them._

_Nick stared at her amused, "Darlin' mommy and daddy rabbits usually make more then one baby-there's a reason they say 'fuck like rabbits!"_

_She crinkled her face at him as he laughed and then said, "They were an older couple when they made this baby, so there!"_

_He laughed harder._

The cigarette dang/ed from his fingers, smoke floating around aimlessly before Nick coughed slightly, and winced at the pain. He knew he wasn't supposed to smoke with a throat injury, but his nerves were so raw they were bleeding.

He leaned back into his seat and took another drag, throat injury be damned.

Beverly called him on his cell informing her of the progress she'd made with the Lab. She assured him that Grissom was going to keep his word and she would be protected.

Now all that was left was to find that key piece of evidence that linked Blainey with Regine's murders. Catherine told him that a warrant was issued to search Blainey's house he shared with his ex and the team would be going over there to search for evidence linking him to all his crimes.

Nick should feel relieved, but he couldn't because Blainey was still out there and while he wasn't personally frightened for his own safety-but for those who were brave enough to come forward with information about him.

Taking one more glance at the house, Nick concluded he wasn't quite ready to go in. Just couldn't.

He tore away from the curb and raced through the streets, the bright lights of the Casinos blaring through the rain; windshield wipers squeaking away.. Bono had given him another idea that he thought would at least give him the courage to go into that house of memories. Who knew bricks, mortar and bunny statues would evoke such intense emotions?

Up until his attack, Nick could feel that he was taking slow, baby steps beyond the shock and sadness and at least into some kind of recovery phase. He even entertained the notion of visiting that therapist chick at his work.

Then he was attacked, viscously. He could still feel that cold blade against his wet skin, soaked from the rain. He bit the inside of his lip at the memory and fought back the tears.

After the attack, a part of Nick's soul seemed to die off and be replaced with something more insidious, something he didn't know if he could put a reign on. It was like one of those damn bulls just bashing on the gates wanting out.

It would only be a matter of time before the proverbial fence gave way and bull raged.

_Yesterday, he missed his appointment with the speech therapist and instead went to the Dogs of Eads and chugged a few beers back until Iris came and made him leave. Her husband driving his truck home while Iris drove him home in her own car._

_They served him hot stew with whole wheat rolls._

_He gave most of it to the dogs._

"_Nick Regine would kick your arse if she saw you like this!" Iris said while serving him hot tea after dinner._

"_Yea she would! She'd go on about how I wouldn't let her lie around after Riley died, so I shouldn't either."_

"_Nicky, get it together my son." Iris implored with him._

_He spent the night at their house in a warm bed surrounded by the entire brood he and Regine owned-Iris calling Catherine to let her know where Nick was-and was gone before they awoke leaving them a thank you note, some money for his pets._

He drove around aimlessly collecting boxes for what he knew needed to be done. And then his phone rang again. Sara had called earlier, but he wasn't interested in hearing form the lab as he assumed the news couldn't be important.

"Nicky you okay!" An Irish accent greeted him.

"I'm fine Iris. Really I'm just going to go to our house and clean up a bit."

"Let me come and help you, Frank and I are more then happy to help." Her voice was tense.

"No, it's okay."

"Listen come and stay with us and we'll look after you son. We've got more then enough room. You need to get away from everything there Nicky. There are too many ghosts haunting you."

"I know." Nick replied tears sliding down his cheeks, "I can't seem to get away from it. She's everywhere Iris."

"So, give it some thought luv! As long as you need to stay, and I could use a help with all these animals here, so it wouldn't be a burden for us luv. I'm taking a horse that someone wants to get rid of."

Nick smiled, "Sounds pretty cool Iris. I'm gonna get going now."

He clicked off the phone, and turned the ringer off then simply allowed the numbness of pain to take over.

In fact, the rain was what was driving this intense sorrow he was feeling now. His body was still sore and nightmares haunted his sleep so badly that even the medication wasn't working.

The house was going to be sold. It wasn't going to be easy. A real estate broker he'd been put in touch with through Regine's lawyer had bluntly said that selling house with a history of murder would be quite the hurdle, but he assured Nick that the person had in mind was a Bull Dog and could do it.

To his surprise, Regine had a Will. She'd never told him that. The lawyer had said that she was just in a few months ago and had changed it and that Nick was entitled to about 80 per cent of her estate.

He didn't care about that, but it did bother him that had kept another secret from him: Why?

Nick finally remembered where Regine's church was and within minutes had pulled up into the parking lot. It was open much to his relief.

Outside the church stood a statute of sad looking woman whom Nick deciphered was Julian of Norwich.

The rain had finally stopped, so Nick got out of the truck and walked towards the church, his body stiff and sore both from being stationery for a long period of time and his ribs still crying for rest.

Nick knelt down in front of the statue and read the inscription.

"_And all shall be well, and all shall be well and all manner of things shall be well."_

Regine had explained that Julian of Norwich had lived in a perilous time and that she her writings denoted a positive outlook no matter how bad things were. She was never canonized, however.

Nick smiled at the inscription and realized why Regine had chosen this church, she needed to believe herself that no matter how hard life could be, 'all manner of things shall be well.'

"_Nick that's one of the things I love about you." She said one day while they were at Carnaval De'Quebec. The Texan shivered not used to the cold weather of the Canadian climate._

"_What, that I'm willing to freeze my southern ass up here for you."_

_They were walking along the streets dressed warmly trying to catch glimpses of a dog sled race. Nick was still trying to figure out the huge snow man guy named Bon Homme who had shook his hand earlier._

_She smiled, "That life throws you lemon and you make lemonade."_

_He smiled and then said, "Yeah but right now I'd kill for hot chocolate!"_

Nick stepped into the church and walked down the isle grimacing as another painful, yet joyful memory took hold-not in the most appropriate places, but it couldn't be helped.

"_Nick do you have to go.."_

_He pulled a pair of jeans over his boxers and stood up to button them._

"_You know I do.."_

_Regine sat in bed, hair braided looking somber. They had been arguing earlier about the amount of time her and Lee spent together on this "Project" and how Nick was feeling like an intruder in their own house and for fuck's sake what the hell were they up to._

"_Nick, I'm sorry..I..I can't exlain what is going on..but you'll understand.."_

"_I don't wanna hear it!" He barked pulling his t-shirt over his head._

_Regine wiped tears away from her eyes, fast and furious..dripping on the red U2 shirt she bought. Her favourite band. The loves of her life as she called them._

_Nick pulled some socks out of the dresser and sat in the wing back chair._

"_You know if I didn't know better, I'd sware you guys were having an affair.."_

_Enraged Regine cried out, "Oh I'm sure that's why you want to believe?"_

"_My suspicions are there. The evidence seems to pointing that way." Nick stormed over to his side drawer to get his gun._

"_Aren't you the one who is always telling Grissom to not forget the human element.."_

"_Oh don't use that against me Regine"_

"_Lee is already in a relationship Nick!"_

"_With whom.."_

"_He's asked me not to say."_

"_That sounds suspicious there." He put the gun in holster and glared at her._

"_If I wanted to be with Lee, then I would have been with him."_

_Nick sat back down in the chair, "I just want to know what is going on with you. You've been so preoccupied! Like you're on another planet and I'm on this one. Ever since..Riley..you've been so focused on his 'project' that I'm like a stranger in my own home."_

_Regine bit her lip, "I'm sorry."_

"_What you need some damn meaning in your life, being a wife is not good enough; a popular vet; a humane society manager. I mean your plate is full Regine ain't it!?"_

"_I can't tell you what I'm doing. I just can't!" She explained calmly, yet tearfully._

_Nick shrugged his shoulders and stormed out of the bedroom and out the front door to his truck._

_Driving in his truck, he felt guilt wash him. Mom had always told him to never leave the house when you are angry with someone you love. You may never see them again._

_Pulling in, he could see through the window that Regine was seated at the piano where she usually went to drown her troubles like Nick with his sports this was her outlet._

_He unlocked the door and entered, placing his hat and jacket on the hook Butterfly trotted up to him and bounced around him looking for attention. Nick petted the dog for a second and then strolled quietly into the living room._

_From the living room he heard singing, _

Of all the things we should've said,  
That were never said.  
All the things we should've done,  
That we never did.  
All the things that you needed from me.  
All the things that you wanted for me.  
All the things that I should've given,  
But I didn't.

_He slowly made his way to the living room and sat down on the ench, she never stopped, so lost in the lyrics. He read the sheet "This Women's Work." By Kate Bush. _

_Regine's voice was sweet, melodic and mournful. Obviosly having picked the tune from a place of sadness. And when Regine was in one of those moods, music was her therapy and God forbid Nick interrupted._

_So he sat and waited till she was done, the intensity of the song moved even his soul._

_But when it was over and she finally looked at him, he said nothing, simply taking her hand, standing up. She followed._

"_Won't you be late?"_

"_So. Is the body going anywhere?"_

_The bedroom was low lit with only the lamp in the corner where the green wing-back chair was. _

_Nick looked at the Bateman paintings and smiled and finally understood Regine's determination._

_When she looked at the paintings she saw what needed to be saved, needed to be protected because they couldn't do it on their own. This wasn't George Orwell's animal farms. Animals certainly couldn't take up arms and defend themselves they were at the mercy of humans-most of whom treated them horrifically-but then there are the Regines of the world who work endlessly to ensure their mere existence was permanent._

_He saw Regine watching him stare at the paintings and she asked, "What are looking at Nick."_

"_You babe!"_

"_What I look like a tiger or a cougar?" She was taken aback by his response._

_Nick grinned wirely, "Not at the moment, but give it a few minutes."_

_Regine laughed a good hearty one for the few time in weeks._

_Taking his holster roff and setting in on the table, Nick then went over to her, snaked an arm around her waist and puller to him. First he kissed her nose then planted a soft one on her mouth, then he kissed her neck easing her towards the bed._

"_I'm sorry." She whispered into his ear before tickling the canal with their causing a grown to emerge from his throat._

"_Yeah me too." Nick whispered back kissing her neck running his hands under t-shirt and down towards her boxers sliding them inside and gripping her buttocks tightly before pushing her back towards the bed._

_A few second later he was lying on top of her, both of them naked as they day they were born as Nick pushed into her slowly smiling down at her as she whimpered and cried out at the sensation as he teased her with an up, down motion, one of his hands on her most sensitive spot working her up to a near orgasm even before coitus had begun. Then he decided to be generous and pushed all the way in resting his arms around her head so that her face was flushed-something in the beginning she was comfortable with but now completely relaxed about it-hell in the beginning she had kept her eyes closed most of the time while they fucked but upon Nick's encouragement Regine could now stare intensely into his eyes and he into hers._

_Nick rolled her over, her body like putty now for him to do whatever he wanted and he was going to take advantage of it for sure. He maneuvered her into doggy style, so could worship the best part of her body-her bodacious ass. With one hand, he gripped the red braid and gently arched her back. He was gentle, not wanting to hurt her, but man did he love doing this, loved the way her ass felt against him._

_Eventually he settled her back into missionary because he needed to see her face as if it were the last time and take in it's glory, the hazel eyes which changed with the light, her frekles, her lust-filed smile before long they both began trembling with an orgasm that was going to launch them into orbit. He made sure she kept those eyes open for when that happened. He urged her to keep them open and she complied and he reveled in the expression of delight when the orgasm hit._

_Tears were streaming down her face. He did it and he was proud of himself for a minute and relieved to know that the tension seemed to be fading away and they could go back to where they were before the tragedies struck them. The worst was behind them._

Nick found himself sitting in Regine's church lighting a candle. He didn't recall how he got there, but he knew was there now, feeling ashamed at the memory in such a sacred place, but then again it was marital sex, so God would probably understand. Hell he invented sex, or so Nick's wife had claimed.

Then he sat and stared up the stained glass window overlooking the church.

Pelts of rain beat against the stained glass photo of Jesus who strung up on the cross, blood dripping down his face as he stared at the sky.

Nick's rudimentary knowledge of the bible told him that Jesus was probably asking God 'why thou has forsaken him.'

He couldn't blame the guy, where the hell was God the night Regine was murdered and

If he couldn't take care of his own son then how could he look after one woman.

_Why her God? She was a righteous girl! She was a compassionate girl! She went to church often and was always trying to help everyone: people and animals._

_What did she enjoy sex too much for you God? Did she care too much about animals? Why her! Of all people!!!_

Nick leaned over the pew in front of him and folded his hands into a prayer, but no words came forth. Instead he just continued with silent endless questions of 'Why'.

Grissom got into his truck as the damn cell phone rang again.

"Yeah!!!" He snarled into it.

"Brass here, we were just at Catherine's he's not there."

"What about your house?"

"What the hell would be doing there?"

"Maybe he left something behind!"

"Okay, fine we'll check." Brass's voice was gruffed in panic.

Grissom had just flipped the phone off when it rang again. Looking at the Caller ID on it, he realized he didn't recognize the number.

"Grissom here." He answered.

"Uh…yeah…this …is Tre Smith!"

Grissom straightened up and pulled the truck over to the side.

"Yes Tre. Are you okay?"

"I am, but I don't think Nick is."

Panicked, Grissom asked, "Where is he."

"He's not here, but there's a strange car outside his…..' Tre's voice trailed off into a flurry of screams and cries for help.

"Tre!!!! Tre!!!" Grissom cried into the phone.

-------------------------------------------------------------

Nick exhaled deeply.

He looked around at his house and hung his black leather jacket onto the hook as another memory took hold of him and grimaced and let it go. He was getting better at not letting the memories seer him so severely

The house ranked of urine and feces and it took Nick a few minutes to realize that it was the result of a litter box that had gone unchanged. Dexter and Trinity were at Iris's in addition to Ranger and Butterfly. Nick had spoken with Iris earlier and they decided it was best that the brood stay put with her. Iris and her husband had purchased an old house with acres of land for the dogs to run in. It was a much better living situation then having to live with someone who spends hours at his job.

Nick gagged with the smell and decided he couldn't possibly pack with it, so he walked into the kitchen to grab a black garbage and then headed to the 'pet room' to dump the boxes.

Out the corner of his eye, he noticed the dog door swinging slightly. It was enlarged to fit Ranger who had a week bit of problem with treats. Instead of putting the poor dog on a diet, Nick decided to widen the door. It was actually handy because he could slide in there himself when he locked himself out of the house.

The swinging was probably a result of the wind gusting about outside. A full blown storm had taken place. Nick smirked at the irony of rain in a desert, but global warming was a peculiar thing.

As he emptied the litter boxes, gagging with the odour when he thought he heard a creak. He looked up and then concluded it was just his moving around a bit.

After he'd put the bags into his truck to take to a nearby dump (as he didn't know when he would be back) Nick walked back into the house.

He surveyed his surroundings, sadness and grief swirling around in the pit of his stomach.

His black leather couch, (covered in plastic to protect it) had sheen of grey on it. Dust of course. What did he expect after 12 weeks?

Nick sighed heavily. The couch was his and he'd take it along with other of his belongings and most of hers.

The pit of his stomach ached as he continued taking in the surrounds of a life he'd lost just so shortly.

Trembling he set the boxes and tape gun on the couch and shoved his hands in his pocket as he decided to go down memory lane. There was still finger print dust everywhere, muddied foot prints now encrusted.

He had thought about calling the crime scene clean up guy he and Warrick worked with a few years back while investigating the arcade murder.

Running a hand over his face, trying to control the sting in his nose, Nick went out to the living room and strolled to the piano looking at the sheets of music. "This Woman's Work" was still sitting in the holder. The piano still had some fingerprint dust on it.

He walked into the living and scanned their entertainment centre-or what they managed to put together combining Nick's TV and her collection of DVDs.

Documentaries such as all of Michael Moore, _An Inconvenient Truth, March of the Penguins, Shake Hand With The Devil. _As well as intense dramatic movies about world events like _Blood Diamond _, _Crash, The Constant Gardner, Munich, Syrianna, Se7en;t_Then of course she had the entire collection of Monty Python's 'Flying Circus as well as _The Holy Grail_ and _Life of Brian_. Then her.Simpsons' DVD collection, her X-Files collection-she definitely had a broad tastes.

And that didn't compare to her CD collection Nick read the titles _Chieftains_, _Coldplay_, _Meat Loaf_, and _ACDC_.

But the piano was her favourite piece in the whole room. She'd give up everything if it meant keeping it.

Nick loved to listen to her play. Hell he even turned off his basketball games to listen to her

He didn't know what he was going to do with it. He certainly had no use for it, may be Warrick could take it. His old one was at Grandmother's house and she didn't want to part with it and he'd never gotten around to getting another-since he was hardly home.

And Nick knew Regine would be happy to have it go to someone who would put it to good use. Warrick used to love to come over and 'jam' with her, she would usually grab one of her guitars and they'd go at it.

The piano question settled, now Nick needed to figure out what to do next when an even louder creak from the hardwood floors made him jump out off the bench. He grabbed his gun.

What the fuck!!!

Nick slowly walked around the corner, down the narrow hall and into the spare room. The 'pet room' and looked around.

There was nothing there.

Nick continued down the hall slowly, his normally swift movements encumbered by injuries, his gun aimed and ready.

His head was thumping in pain, as well as the rest of his body and the drugs in his system made his reflexes slow, not giving him much to register the sudden assault on him.

"Give me the gun Nick." A voice laced in an English-like accent said.

Nick handed the gun backwards grunting with the pain resulting from the tightness of the arm around his still healing ribs. His fear drove higher as he felt his source of protection snatched out his hands.

"Let's go talk in the living room." The voice of Robert Blainey said as Nick found himself being forced back into the living room.


	14. Chapter 14

**CHAPTER 14**

**THIS WOMAN'S WORK**

**A hand in the pocket  
Fingering the steel  
The pistol weighed heavy  
His heart he could feel was beating, beating  
U2's Exit**

_**Sorry about the triple posting, but I caught something that needed to be checked out and this software befuddles me.  
**_

_**Warning: This chapter is very disturbing and might offend. **_

Grissom pressed his lips together as he raced towards Nick's house wanting nothing more then clear roads, but frustratingly, traffic was jammed.

Already he'd put in a call to Dispatch, to have some uniforms sent to the house, but a city-wide emergency had been declared as a commuter train had collided with an abandoned Jeep Charokee. Cars from the derailed train jackknifed into a stationery freight train. A fire had broken out as a result of spilled diesel fuel.

As a result, few emergency personnel were on hand to be on the lookout for a wayward, Texan criminalist or an almost seven tall bald guy.

The Entomologist was convinced Murphy's Law was the name of the game for the evening ahead. A uniform had called into to say they had found Blainey's car abandoned in an alleyway not far from Nick's house.

Overhead, Grissom could see the plume of black smoke from where the derailment occurred.

"Jesus Christ!" He cried keeping his focus on the road. Thankfully, it was far enough from Nick's house that he wouldn't be blocked from getting there by the emergency crews racing in the direction.

He finally saw Nick's house. It was dark save for one light.

He pulled up to the side not wanting to cause a stir, and jumped out.

That's when he saw Tre's minivan sitting idly by. It used to Regine's but Nick gave it to the kid after her death for both selfish and selfish reasons. Nick knew the kid's car was not too far off from visiting the permanent dump in the sky, and it was one step towards moving forward.

Grissom walked toward and noticed the door ajar, he opened it hand on his gun.

No one was in there, but there was fresh blood on the floor.

"Dammit!" Grissom snapped then turned his attention to the house. It was a small bungalow. The flowers in front long dead and the bunny statues looked very out of place with the loneliness of the rest of the house.

"_What's wrong with gnomes?" Grissom asked Regine and Nick during dinner which Sara had chosen not to attend with him._

"_They creep me out!" Regine smirked._

_He looked towards Nick._

"_They are rather creepy looking." Nick agreed._

_Grissom laughed, "With your luck Nick, someone would probably steal them and travel around the world with them."_

"_And send us post cards?" Regine asked smiling as she twirled some whole wheat spaghetti on her fork._

"_No," Nick said grimly, "With my luck, they'd get kidnapped and held for ransom."_

_Regine and Grissom looked at each other, then at Nick and the three of them started to laugh._

Grissom's mouth formed into a small smile at the memory as he carefully approached the house.

Nick was shoved into the living room into a leather armchair next to the guitar stand where Regine's favourite acoustic stood.

Blainey stood in front of him, hovering over him threateningly with surgeon fingers which he used to swing around a small blade. Nick recognized it as folding scalpel

Robert Blainey smiled menacingly at Nick who painfully stood up-refusing to be intimidated by him no matter how much pain he was in or how frightened he was by the tall man in front of him who more then likely killed his wife, her friend and nearly Nick himself.

"This came from a kit my father gave me when I graduated vet school. Since your lovely wife got my license revoked, I haven't had much use for it, until recently." Blainey explained as if Nick really gave a shit.

Nick glared, "You killed my wife."

"Your darling wife was a quite the spitfire, Nick A fighter right till the end." Blainey admitted.

Nick's nostril's flare as he dove out of his seat and charged Blainey who dodged out of his way causing the CSI to fall to the floor.

"Nick, Nick. You read too much into things." Blainey said as he walked over to Nick with the scalpel raised.

Nick grabbed Blainey ankle and tossed him down, the scalpel careening across the wooden floor out of Blainey's reach. Nick simultaneously jumped up and raced to a side table near the back door, where unbeknownst to the man, held another gun—A Smith and Wesson pistol-a gift from his dad. It still being there saddened Nick since he had told Regine to use it if she needed it. She wasn't a fan of guns and didn't like the fact that loaded weapons were in her home, but relented for Nick understanding his deep need for safety after his own ordeals.

The gun gleamed in the low lit room; Nick closed his fingers around the grip, and aimed the piece directly at Blainey who instinctively held up his arms.

Not a trace of fear was in the bald man's face. Only contempt.

"Stay where you are." Nick quietly ordered looking for the damn knife, illuminol would determine that there was blood on it.

Three kinds of blood, in fact, his, Regine and Lee and his own- Killers always stuck with their modus operandi.

"You're a crime scene guy, you don't shoot." Blainey smirked as he got to his feet and held up his hands.

"I will if I have too!" Nick was breathing hard, his throat protesting any use of his larynx.

The two men eyed each like two wolves poised for a fight: Poised, eyes fixed, muscles tense.

"What the hell are you doing here?" Nick asked his voice dull yet tinged with rage.

"Oh I just decided that since you look as if you ready to pack things up. I'd leave a present for you." Blainey's long fingers slid into his jacket.

"I said don't move." Nick ordered, gun never wavering

Grissom arrived at Nick's house, heart sinking when he saw the door slightly ajar, and the sound of two voices emerging from within. He couldn't make out what was going on, but he feared the worst. Blainey was there with Nick.

Pulling his gun from the holder, Grissom slowly made his way in; shifting his weight as to keep his foot steps as silent as possible on the hardwood floor.

Through the foyer he went, down a small hallway where he came to a sight in the living room.

Nick in a stance, both hands firmly grasped around the handle of a gun which was aimed directly at a tall, bald man with cold, snake like eyes.

Blainey standing there with one hand in long, black leather jacket, and from where Grissom stood, all he had to do was step between them and the situation would end.

However, the sight on Nick's face made the Entomologist think twice.

**RAGE**

_RAGE is an extreme emotion and explosive anger that can consume someone the adrenaline rush so powerful that it can literally shut down the part of the brain the deals with logic. _

And it was clear to Grissom that all logic was momentarily held in suspension for Nick as weeks of grief, pain, fear and loss had twisted into one insidious emotion that could have nothing but detrimental results for the young Texan.

And it would not be without just cause that the rage's ground zero could be exterminated by its victim and no one would find fault for that.

However, Grissom knew that Nick was not someone who would give into his rage unless provoked. The Texan was like a dog whom been kicked too many times and finally snapped and bit.

Unfortunately, the legal and personal ramifications of such action taken against a predator like Blainey were too high and Grissom had no choice but to try and talk some sense into Nick before it was too late.

Reluctantly, Grissom stayed in his spot and decided that he had to find a way to reach Nick-the normally moralistic man whose life had taken such a tragic turn that he easily could cross the line between right and wrong. So it was up to Grissom to prevent that.

Though not literally for his safety, his gun was aimed at Blainey.

"Nick." He said voice quiet and calm.

Neither of the two men moved.

"I've got him Nick." Grissom told the Texan. "You can put your gun down."

"No." Nick's voice was flat and monotone.

Grissom turned to Blainey and ordered "On you knees, hands behind your head."

Blainey smiled facetiously and did what he was told as Grissom continued to order him, "Down! Down!" snarling with each verb!

"But I have a gift for Mr. Stokes." Blainey pleaded as he obeyed the CSI.

"Where is it?"

"In my coat pocket." He closed his eyes and kept up the Sweeney Todd of a smile.

"Don't move." Grissom growled as he reached in, felt around and pulled out a small, rectangular-shaped box wrapped in kitten wrapping paper.

Grissom eyed him with disgust.

"She loved kittens!" Blainey explained the strangely-wrapped box.

"So what do you have to say for yourself?" He asked him.

"Not much." Blainey answered.

"We found the paintings, Lee's clothes, and other evidence and I can see you're wearing the boots. Part of your MO. But where's the knife?" Grissom's voice was tight with contempt and disgust.

"Ask Nicky, I lost it when he attacked me." Blainey answered in a child-like manner that almost rang of 'It's his entire fault."

Grissom eyed Nick who was unresponsive to the remark.

"You're done with Blainey." Grissom said satisfactorily setting the box carefully on the table. The package was much too light to hold any kind of explosive and the entomologist knew that this was not something that was part of Blainey's characteristic. He was too intelligent and insidious for such drastic action. He was more interested in destroying people emotionally with callous and murderous actions on those they loved. He was more Ted Bundy then Timothy McVeigh.

Why Nick though? What did Blainey have against the Texan?

"I know. My wife called me. That's why I'm surrendering myself to you."

Grissom laughed sarcastically as he said, "You're not making it that easy. You're a serial killer"

"Yes, I guess that's what you call me."

"You're not going down easily." Grissom said, "You're here to find one last way to take a dig at Regine. Only now she's dead, so Nick here is the next best thing."

Nick's eyes were still ablaze as his gun wavered slightly.

Grissom looked at Nick, pupils dilated, face pale, extremities shaking slightly, "Nick put the gun down."

"No!" Nick heard the voice calling to him, but all he could see n front of him was the man who destroyed his life.

"Nick, do as I tell you."

"I'm on leave, you don't tell me anything." Nick retorted dangerously his eyes blazing, his face completely blank.

The criminalist's face was soaked in sweat, dripping down the sides of face. His strong jaw clenched, eyes black; gun wavering.

Gun still pointed at the confessed killer, Grissom circled the suspect like a lion stalking a water buffalo weary of the danger, but not letting it stop him from his goal.

"What's in the package Blainey?" He demanded.

"A gift for Nick, I know I've taken so much from his life and I want to leave him a little token."

Grissom looked at the package. He knew he should wait for a bomb squad, but he was confident that this was not an explosive.

Carefully, he scanned the box around. Out of the corner of his eye he could see that Nick's eyes had shifted to the package.

"You are not seriously thinking of blowing us all up?" Grissom asked just to be certain.

Blainey's head went back as he laughed maniacally, "Oh lord no! That would ruin the purpose of my gift."

"And what's that?"

"Have Nick open it." He simply answered starting at Nick.

"I don't think that's a good idea." Grissom said as he set the package on a mahogany table.

The entomologist wanted to open it. He had sinking feeling in him. Judging by the weight of the package, he knew it wasn't an explosive, no Blainey was too smart he told himself again, for a simple explosion. There was something more here.

Grissom slid his pocket knife out and slid down the middle where the opening was, it was awkward given that he still had the gun in one hand, and was opening the package with the other. He decided to set the piece on the dining room table and investigate this gift. The logic being that Blainey was not going to try anything while Nick had his gun on him. He turned slightly away from the two.

Blainey threw a sad, pitiful look at Nick whose eyes had shifted back to him.

"Nick, I'm glad we have this chance to talk." He said as if he were setting in for a therapy session-his voice all empathy.

"Shut up!" Nick answered sharply, voice shaking.

"I really admire you Nick. I mean I admired you for so taking what I would have loved to have. Your wife. I guess I didn't have a chance given that I was not good-looking country boy.

Nick face contorted as he snarled, "You were in love with her."

"Madly!" He exclaimed tears coming to his eyes.

"You call that love?" Nick asked disgusted by this declaration of emotion, "Raping her? Slicing her throat?"

"I just wanted a piece of what you had Nick." Blainey answered as if the Texan CSI should have known why he did the things he did.

"Fuck you!" Nick growled deeply, "Fuck you Blainey. You're a murderer! You're a psychotic son of a bitch!"

"No, just a man whose life was empty," Blainey replied, "Because you're pretty wife systematically destroyed it. She was the sociopath."

"You ruined your own life by your greed, your desire for power over those who were helpless and innocent!" Nick snarled.

"You call her innocent!" Blainey answered, "She had in for me from day one once she got to Vegas. She wanted my business so badly that she went over my head and reported me to the authorities because I simply wanted to utilize animals that would have been put down eventually!"

"And you killed her over that!" Nick answered.

"No, because she kept after me after that, all because I spurned her in the beginning because I wanted to stay with my wife."

"No!" Nick told him, "It was the other way around. You were putting the moves on her."

Grissom opened the flaps and could see blood on the tissue paper. He frowned.

"Your wife was just quite the woman and I could see you two had a lovely marriage. I saw it that night as I peeked through your bedroom window and watched the two of you make love. Quite the moves you have Nick-taking her from behind like that-very animal like."

Grissom looked up feeling Nick's shame as his private life was again on display, "Shut up Blainey!!!"

Blainey was unwavering, "I have clips of it on my cell phone, well I had clips which before I came here I sent to the Lab, every single worker there. I'm pretty handy at the computers. They probably got it oh about an hour ago."

Nick's face blanched and Grissom groaned. There was no time to call IT and put a block on the e-mails.

Admirably, the beleaguered man still managed to keep the gun straight on Blainey, though his resolve was weakening. His pupils were dilated; his mouth was strange line, sweat poured down his brow as he held the gun with both hands on Blainey, muscles clearly twitching, but with a determined reservation Nick held the gun.

"Jesus what is in here" Grissom muttered under his breath as he gently poked the tissue away with a pen on the table and peered in.

He recoiled at the sight!!!!! His mouth opened in shock. Very little shocked Grissom, but this did as did the laminated sheet that was shoved in with it that was smeared with blood. He leaned over and read it carefully, recognizing immediately what it was and then set the pen on the table and steadied himself, nausea hitting him like a fly ball.

Grissom recovered as best he could, inhaling to get himself together discreetly so that Nick wouldn't catch a glimpse of his shock and then managed to get his cell phone out and speed dial Brass.

"Jim!" He gasped, "I'm here with Nick and Blainey."

"Say no more, we're on our way. Traffic's backed up, but we'll get there. Are you guys okay?"

"No, Blainey's got the upper hand here!" Grissom said his voice cracking.

"Gotcha! Hang tight Grissom!"

_Blainey's got the upper hand here. _

Grissom inwards scolded himself for opening the box. Why! Why! He picked his gun back up and walked towards Blainey and Nick.

"Nick, Nick!" Blainey tut-tut, "It was so enchanting to watch you two in your most private moment. I could see you loved each other very much and after you left, well I wanted some of that love too."

Grissom's jaw clenched as he walked over and stood over Blainey, nostrils flared.

"I think now would be a good time to just shut up!!" Grissom ordered sweat pouring down the sides of his face as he struggled to contain his own rage by putting the gun right up against Blainey's head enraged by the sight in the box beyond belief. All he wanted to do was blow the man's brains out. Never had in his long career the Entomologist met someone so hideously evil.

Blainey smiled at him sweetly, "But Mr. Grissom, you're a CSI and I'm confessing my crime to you.."

"You can do that down at the station."

"But don't you think Mr. Stokes would like to hear how I squeezed through the doggie door, the one she widened for that fat dog of hers to go out. She knew someone was here because her dogs came running at me, but I managed to shove them out. The little one biting me while I shoved him through the doggie door and locked it, then Regine came out to see what the commotion was and saw me there. She ran for the front door, but I caught her. I drug her by the hair into your bedroom. I figured she liked it since you had only done it yourself earlier Nick."

"Fuck off!!!" Nick growled.

"Blainey shut your mouth, not another fucking word until the police get here!!!" Grissom angrily pleaded, breathing hard and fast.

"She fought me oh my lord that girl could fight, but as you can see I'm a little bit stronger then her and so I managed to get her pinned down. I bounded her hands up in duck tape, and then I had my moment with her. It took about nine minutes in total. She screamed for you Nick!! "

Nick grimaced, eyes blinking back tears fighting the images that were going through his head and wanted nothing more then to blow Blainey's head off."

"She screamed for mercy. Oh she hated it when I sodomized her Nick! Her scream was very guttural. Oh it was turn on!" Blainey's eyes went dreamy at the memory, "She had such a luscious ass Nick, but I don't need to tell you that you seemed to enjoy it yourself earlier that night."

Grissom grabbed him by the scruff and lifted him up, "Shut the fuck up!!!!" He snarled. Then threw the man there surprised by his own strength, adrenaline-fueled rage. He was not a violent man, but this circus was driving him to madness.

Nick was breathing, his body rocking with each breath, tears streaming down. His resolve weakened by the images of his wife's attack playing out like a movie in his head. Enough rape scenes Nick had seen that he could visualize quite clearly Regine's ordeal.

"Why did I take that call?" He said, voice hoarse with both physical and mental pain, "Should have told Catherine no. no."

Grissom turned his attention away from Blainey and Nick, "No, no, Nick, don't even go there, this wasn't your fault. Now please, Nick. Just give me the gun."

Nick rubbed his runny nose and shook his head, and muttered a feeble "No."

"Nick c'mon!!! Don't do it! Just give me the gun!"

"No!" Nick laughed slightly at the absolute absurdity of Grissom's persistence.

Then he noticed the package on the dining room table, blood on the tissue.

"Grissom, what's in the package?" He asked calmly.

"Nick, give me the gun!" Grissom ordered holding out his hand while the other held the gun on Blainey." Moving his head side to side as if at a tennis game.

"No, I want to know what is in that package." Nick focused his eyes straight at a sneering Blainey.

"Nick hand me the gun!" Grissom demanded but now it sounded like a plead. His voice was shaking, "This is not a request, but an order. Hand me the gun just give it to me! Now for God's sake!!!"

Nick didn't answer, the gun pointed shakily at Blainey. Grissom realized he was going to have to physically get the gun from Nick, but how to do so without causing it to go off?

Blainey was sitting up again, smiling at Nick.

"She begged for her life Nick.."

Grissom looked at him, his eyes bulging, "I told you to shut the fuck up!!!!"

"She begged, but by then it was too late, I had to kill her. I didn't want to, but I had to, so I took out my folding scalplel and made a nice deep slice to the throat. She was dead within seconds Nick. I hope that makes you feel better, but she didn't go out quietly."

"Enough!" Grissom yelled, "That is enough!!!"

"She begged for her life Nick…."

"Shut up!!!" Grissom snarled.

"Grissom!" Nick finally managed to speak all the while his gun pointed at Blainey, "What's in the box?"

"Nick, put the gun down!" Grissom pleaded almost wishing he hadn't opened it.

"No, what's in the box man!" Nick rasped, his delicate voice breaking, faced streaked by his tears.

Blainey started again, "She begged for her life."

Grissom stormed over to him, "Shut your mouth now!" The normally stoic bugman was starting to lose control and the rage made him want to put this man trough a wall..

Blainey smiled sympathetically at Nick as a doctor who had bad news to tell a patient would..

"..and when she realized that I wasn't going to listen. She begged for the life inside her."

Silence: dead, tension-filled silence-the silence-the calm before the storm.

Grissom slowly turned his gaze towards Nick's stricken face; it was a myriad of pain, shock and horror and for the life him, the entomologist could not find any words to explain this moment.

"What the fuck did you just say?" Nick finally asked his voice breaking, "What do you mean life inside her?" the tone of his raspy voice rising an octave, head shaking in denial of what he just heard.

"I really felt bad that I took your paintings Nick, so I brought you a little token-

her unborn child!" Blainey announced triumphantly.

Grissom felt his guts churning wildly as he moaned out load, gun still on a smiling Blainey.

As if in slow motion, he turned his head back to look at Nick.

Nick was staring back at him with indescribable pain. His laugh lines prominent, tears fighting to come forth to relieve the unbearable pain inside. It seared his soul and sent it spiraling weakening him even more.

"Grissom!" he finally blurted, voice raspy and broken, "Tell me he's just bullshitting me. Tell me please!!!"

"She was about 16 weeks along Nick." Blainey explained in a doctor-like tone, "Fetal parts quite detectable. She was going to have your baby. I even enclosed a DNA sample matching yours, the blood that was on my gloves when I slit your throat-oh that was just a warning Nick. Sorry about that."

Grissom looked up at the ceiling praying for the first time in eons that someone; anyone would put an end to this calamity. "Nick please just give me the gun. Please!"

"No!!" Nick shouted shook his head, tears pouring down his cheeks, "Not until you tell me that what he's saying is a lie!!"

"Give me the gun Nick! Please!" Grissom eyes were moistening, normally the stoic one, even this moment had rocked his core.

Nick was breathing hard, "Grissom, tell me he's lying!!! Tell me for fuck's sake! Tell me she wasn't pregnant! You had to know, you were at her autopsy." The strain on his vocal chords could be plainly heard. Each word painfully choked out.

Grissom just stared at Nick unable to counteract anything he asked or claimed.

Blainey looked at Nick incredulously, "You didn't know she was pregnant didn't you?" He smiled elatedly at the shocked Texan feeling his wrath had its comeuppance.

Heaving, Nick looked at Grissom and it dawned on him that Grissom's cat-out-of-the bag shock that he knew. He had to know!! The autopsy reports would have shown it!

Had Grissom kept yet another secret from him?

Nick moaned and started to sob, "OH fucking Jesus Christ Grissom, you knew she was pregnant and you couldn't even tell me yourself. Why! Why!" The words were spitting at Grissom who was still stunned by his discovery. His voice rose to a shout!

Shaking his head, Grissom answered weakly, guilt-ridden, "I, I, I wanted to make sure we had the killer caught." The answer sounded so weak and pathetic that even Grissom himself couldn't buy it.

Nick blinked rapidly his brain trying to make sense, trying to understand, or to even wake up and find all this was nothing but another nightmare- his breathing erratic, tears streaming down his face.

"Nice fucking job Grissom!!!! Some fucking way to find out man!!!!" He shouted at his Supervisor, "That's just like you Grissom, always keeping secrets from me! What for! What fucking for?"

Blainey enjoyed the angst he witnessed and said, "Actually Grissom, I'm so glad you didn't tell Nick, this just makes my present all the more meaningful!"

"Shut up!!!" Grissom snarled walked towards them, his hands slightly bloodied and noticing Nick could see it. There was his proof!

Then the vestiges of his sanity started to crack as reality gripped him.

"You fucking bastard!!" Nick screamed at Blainey!!!

"NICK!!!" Grissom yelled, "Please give me the damn gun before you do something you will regret and you will regret this Nick!!!"

The charged atmosphere of this fiasco was threatening to implode.

Nick's finger pressed down on the trigger, eyes firmly planted on the evil in front of him.

Grissom stood off to the side, gun still aimed at Blainey but focus turned on Nick as the situation was cycling out of control, "Nick you kill him. Your life will be completely destroyed."

Nick didn't hear anything, his mind wracked with one final memory.

"_Gees, I better go babe!" Nick said sitting up in the bed, searching for his boxers._

_After an hour of making love, easing weeks of tension, he realized it was time to get to his shift._

_Regine sat up looking refreshed and happier then she'd had in weeks._

"_I've got something I want to tell you, you're birthday is coming up and I was going to save it for now."_

_The phone beeped again. Nick growled, "Alright! I'm coming! I'm coming!" He jumped get to his jeans back one, "Reg, can this wait?"_

_Clearly disappointed, she simply shrugged smiling, "Yeah sure it can wait. No problem."_

_She pulled her U2 T-shirt over her head and watched him go. Nick leaned over and kissed her- a big grin on his face._

"_I can't wait to hear it!" He grabbed packed his weapon quickly and darted out the door._

Someone in the room was sobbing as Nick reeled between memory and reality wanting to lose himself in the memory knowing he couldn't and then it struck him that she had planned to tell him at the moment about her pregnancy, but like the good soldier Nick was he headed off to as that yellow-journalist proclaimed study some damn skeleton in the desert.

His career. His damn career and he had the gull to criticize her about her advocacy work.

He had been a shitty husband, but right now he could do something about it. Nick could right the wrong at this very moment.

Nick pressed on the trigger.

"Nick, please listen to me. If you kill him he will have succeeded." Grissom's voice hinged on panic as his eyes narrowed in on the finger on the trigger. He knew had to save Nick before he did something he would seriously regret for Nick Stokes was not a killer by any means.

The gun was wavering.

Nick was heaving with both physical main and the mental anguish then took over, gun still pointing at Blainey.

"Nick, just give me the gun!!" Grissom pleaded.

"No!" Nick cried out his voice pleading and tormented.

Grissom steadied himself, not sure how he was going to say it, but the words simply came forward, "Just give me the gun. It's over. We got him." He heard himself pleading and begging, almost sorry he even opened the box playing into the sicko's fucked up game.

Nick stared horrified at his supervisor who of all people had never, ever lied to him. Then he glanced at the box and the horror of what was in there finally took hold and stilling holding the gun, he grimaced as if someone had punched him the solar plexus. He leaned over, bracing himself on one knee, still holding the gun in one place as Nick furiously blinked tears away.

"Awwww…fuck..oh ..fuck..you Blainey!" Nick yelled, "You son of a fucking a murderous bitch.! You fucking couldn't leave my wife alone you killed..my..kid…too..….you fucking murderer!!!"

Then both hands were on the gun and Nick walked menacingly forward like a cougar with its eye on the prey.

"Nick no!!! If you kill him, he will have won and your life will be over Nick!!" Grissom warned, sweating profusely, "This is not the solution Nick. Give me the gun!!!"

Nick shook his head, "My life is already over, I have nothing to lose." His voice was flat, tears were dripping onto his shirt; his finger on the trigger, starting to put pressure on the steel slowly.

Grissom was determined not to let fate take its course, "Nick!!! This what he wants. He wants you to finish this. Because he has nothing left, nothing. He wants you to kill him because then you're finished and his revenge on your wife will be completed. It's not enough that she's gone; you need to be destroyed too in every way possible because you took what he wanted. Don't you let him do this to you Nick!!! Don't let him win. Regine would not want this!"

Nick was breathing rapidly, the pain of his injuries and the emotional distress of this horrid story becoming clear.

Walking towards Nick, his hand outstretched Grissom continued to plead soflty, "Nick."

Blainey was smiling at Nick, beckoning him to kill him. He wanted this to happen. He had nothing to live for.

Grissom's voice was high-pitched with anxiety as it started to appear Nick was gonna give into his rage, "Nick please give me the gun. Regine was a woman who did not believe in revenge. She believed in justice without violence. She believed all solutions could be resolved without the use of deadly force. And if you kill Blainey, you've destroyed part of what she was working towards-a world without sorrow. Giving me the gun means that in the end, she won. You win too.

Nick's breathing could be heard through the room.

Grissom continued, "If you kill Blainey, you will go to jail. If you let him live, then you can continue Regine's work for her and that's how her memory will live on Nick. Killing Blainey is not going to bring her back."

Grissom could see the proverbial wheel churning in Nick's head and that his words were slowly starting to register.

"Nick, you don't want to kill him. I know you. I've known you for several years and I'm 100 per cent certain that when you get past the pain and the rage you're feeling, you will be thankful that you didn't act on it. The pain you are feeling right now is minimal to the pain you will feel if you take another person's life out of revenge."

Blainey was still on the floor, on his knees, hands behind his head. Eyes closed as he waited for Nick to kill him.

Grissom stood in front of him, one hand out, the other on Blainey.

Nick took his eyes off Blainey and on Grissom and saw the fear in his Supervisor's eyes.

Colour was slowly returning to Nick's face as his he digested his supervisor's words.

His pupils returning to normal and in rage's place, grief took over as Nick's face crumpled and the wavering arm holding the gun slowly came down as he walked backwards, hitting the wall and sliding down sobs coming from him.

Grissom still didn't have Nick's gun, but at least it stopped pointing at Blainey.

He walked over to the crumpled Texan and placed a hand on his shoulder as the man sat there looking shell-shocked, tears simply falling wherever they wanted.

"Nick you did the right thing!"

But Nick's eyes had widened with alarm as a figure jumped up, both hands on a knife as he launched towards Grissom!!

Nick jackknifed to his feet and shoved Grissom aside and fired his gun directly into Blainey's skull and as if in a dream Nick's arm suddenly took a life of its own and took control of the gun while the rest of him went elsewhere.

Grissom, however, had been shoved into Regine's piano and he watched in horror as if this were all in slow motion Nick continuing to empty his gun into Blainey's body-the bald man's body jerked with each shot!

Nick continued firing until a clicking sound indicated that the gun was empty-his arm dropped and hung slack at his side and the gun fell from his hand and clunked onto the hardwood floor twirling slightly before coming to a stop.

Then he simply went into the bedroom and slammed the door.


	15. Chapter 15

_**THIS WOMAN'S WORK**_

_**CHAPTER 15**_

**_William Somerset__: Ernest Hemingway once wrote, "The world is a fine place and worth fighting for." I agree with the second part._**

**_John Doe: It seems Envy is my sin._**

**_John Doe: Become vengeance, David, become wrath.._**

**_-Se7en, 1996_**

_Red light_

_Darkness_

_Red light_

_Darkness_

_Voices-some loud, some muffled by technology, some official, most he didn't recognize._

"Nick." A gentle, familiar voice spoke to him.

Nick heard the voice calling to him, but couldn't place it, nor did he really want to because all he wanted at this moment was to cave in the comforting darkness. He could feel something squeezing his arm tightly before numbers were read to someone standing near him wearing cargo pants and was slightly bowlegged. Then a light was shone in his eyes which made him squint slightly before it disappeared again.

The voice called to him again, said his name repeatedly, before something cold was placed on his back as the cool air brushed against his bared skin.

"He's shell-shocked." Nick recognized Wilcox, "But I don't like that wound on his neck is yellowing and his breathing sounds rather raspy." A young, dark-skinned face looked into his full of concern, " Nick can you open your mouth slightly..please? I just want to look at your throat? Nick can you hear me"

No response, but a hand was placed on his forehead.

An older man's voice spoke, "He feels very warm, he was perspiring earlier, but I wasn't sure if it was..the moment..the.." The voice trailed off.

"Grissom, man what the hell happened in there!"

Nick's ear perked slightly as he recognized an old friend's voice.

"I..don't want to talk about it right now Warrick." Grissom answered his voice strained with exhaustion.

"Mr. Grissom, do you want to go to the hospital as well?" Wilcox asked motioning to his partner that it was time to get going.

"No I'm...not in any need of medical care." Grissom answered.

_Just a stiff drink!_ Grissom wondered if Sara had any beer in the fridge.

Nick felt something warm and soft and smelling of fabric softener wrapped around his shoulders.

"Nick," Wilcox leaned over and spoke to him face to face again, "We're gonna take you to the hospital okay?"

"I'm going with him." Warrick announced in a voice that challenged anyone to say otherwise and of course no one dared.

"Take good care of him." Ecklie said to the surprise of everyone, "Give him whatever he needs."

Nick was unresponsive even to that comment, however.

"Nick I'm here man!" Warrick's voice came through the dark haze, "We're here for you! We gonna get you through this."

"Yeah kid!" Brass's voice sounding choked, "Come hang out with me for a bit-football season's on again."

No response.

Grissom looked into Nick's eyes and could see that while physically the Texan was with them, mentally he was elsewhere.

Nick Stokes was back to that night of Regine's death. Any progress he'd made in the last few weeks was lost by the sheer madness of a sociopath hell bent on finishing not only Regine but those who loved her.

Nick was a mere casualty in a war he had no idea he was involved in.

Wilcox and Warrick helped Nick into the ambulance and closed the door behind them, the rear lights lit up and the vehicle slowly made its way down the drive way and drove off into the night.

Ecklie sighed heavily and turned to Grissom, "I think in all my years with the Lab, I've never seen anything like this Gil."

Grissom looked at Ecklie then turned to the crowd of reporters clamoring for answers to rumours.

"Best thing you can do Conrad, is to go over there and take care of the dogs."

"Yeah, I'll humour them for a bit." The balding man said as he made his way through throngs of uniforms and stood behind the yellow tape that once again surrounded Nick's home.

"_Is it true the fetal remains of Regine's Stokes baby were hand delivered by Blainey."_

"_Why weren't the press notified about her pregnancy?"_

"_Is it true that Nick Stokes himself didn't know about the pregnancy?"_

The Entomologist wracked his brain trying to make sense of the turmoil that even shook his normally stoic self to the core. He'd seen horrors a plenty in his long career; had seen his colleagues tortured, shot and attacked.

This was the one that even he could not fathom that even gave him pause to wonder whether he should be visiting the therapist himself.

To rape and murder a crime fighter's wife well hell, it happened to many law enforcement types, lawyers and even District Attorneys. When you put yourself out there to combat society's evil, not only do you make yourself a target, but your family as well.

And Regine knew what she was getting into when she married Nick. She even said it to Grissom himself that she was quite prepared to take on the responsibility because she loved the Texan more then anything else and it would be worth it.

No one imagined this would happen to her or Nick, but it was more then the murder itself, it was the sheer depravity of it and the cruel reality that not only did Blainey murder and rape a pregnant woman, but committed an atrocity to her dead body so as to dangle his crime triumphantly in the bereaved husband's face. It was beyond the stretch of anyone's morality. This event had shaken the hardest cops of all to the core.

Indeed, Blainey death was not going to be mourned by anyone-save for a few people.

And yet, Grissom told himself as he slowly made his way back to Nick's house, was it really that surprising? Given the man's history of violence towards woman even towards animals-Blainey was obviously someone who felt that these two groups were easy to control; easy to manipulate and God help them if they challenged his self-appointed authority-as did Regine Stokes-and look where it got him.

She obviously wanted to find a way to bring him to justice-without Nick's help-why though? If not Nick, Grissom asked himself, she could have gone to him. Grissom would have gladly helped.

Then he reminded himself of how he reacted to Sara's quest for justice for a butchered gorilla. He was dismissive of her then, so maybe he wouldn't have helped Regine-probably would have reminded her that humans come before animals as he did Sara, perhaps would have told her to simply let it be and focus on looking after herself so she could have better success this time around with her second pregnancy.

"_Grissom, don't tell Nick, but I'm pregnant again." Regine's face was positively beaming at the news._

_He looked up at her both pleased and confused, "And I'm not supposed to tell the father of the baby because?"_

"_I'm waiting until Nick's birthday, but then I'll be at least four and half months along." She petted her belly, "Given my extra spare tire here, I think I can hide it long enough."_

"_I'm not sure I want to be saddled with this responsibility Regine." He asked while studying the latest black, fuzzy tarantula brought into his midst._

"_Oh please Grissom." Regine begged as she sat at his desk. She looked rather tired as she had just arrived back into Vegas and had somehow smuggled this interesting arachnid into the country._

"_Why so long?" Grissom asked, "What's the difference?"_

"_Well, Nick was pretty hurt the last time this happened, so if I lose it before then I won't have to tell him."_

_Grissom scolded, "I think he'd be more hurt if you didn't tell him."_

"_Well, it was my fault I lost it."_

"_No it wasn't."_

"_Well, then afterwards.." She continued._

"_Was a very natural reaction to loss coupled with post-partum depression which is common." Grissom reminded her gently.  
_

_Regine struggled for a minute then shook her head, "No I'll wait till his birthday, the doctor said by then she can get a good read on whether I'll be okay."_

"_Well, if you can elude the authorities on this thing," Grissom said holding up the fuzzy creature, "Then I can keep a secret from Nick."_

_She smirked, "From what I here, you're good at that."_

_Grissom avoided her accusatory gaze and simply answered, "Yeah."_

"_By the way that thing's not poisonous." She said scrunching her face at it._

"_What were you doing in Bangkok?" He then asked trying to change the subject. _

"_Oh, just trying to educate the authorities on how to capture illegal animal traders." She answered, eyes diverting his._

"_Hmmm..should you be traveling at this stage?"_

"_ I told the group I was done. I just want to take it easy, relax, and just give birth to a healthy baby." She smiled and then added, "I hope things go better this time."_

_Grissom nodded, "Well, I think that you're taking the right steps to do that, so relax and concentrate on that for now. You'll have your hands full in no time with Nick and the baby, so your priority will be them."_

_For a second, she had looked like she wanted to say more to Grissom, but quickly changed her mind and bid farewell to him and left._

"Are you okay?"

Grissom turned and saw Brass standing beside him.

"Why?"

"You've been staring at those bunny statues for a while."

"She was going to tell me what was going on with Blainey, but for some reason she decided not to." Grissom said, "Maybe she thought I wouldn't care about it."

Brass sighed, "Well, maybe it wouldn't have made a difference Gil, Blainey had it in for her for a long time."

"But we could have at least found a way to keep her safe." Grissom said.

"Can't change the past Gil." Brass said, "She made some choices that in hindsight were not the best for her or Nick; none of which can be done now."

"Yeah." Grissom answered not so sure.

As he entered the house he went over again in his head what happened earlier.

_By the time Brass arrived with the uniforms, Blainey was long dead. A pool of blood surrounded his head where the first shot was. His eyes were still open with his face permanently in a surprised expression. _

_The other gun shots were in his chest, torso, pelvis and legs. Grissom explained to Brass that there were at least four shots fired-that he recalled._

_Brass then went over to the bedroom where Nick was and asked if they could come in. After there was no answer, Brass simply walked in. _

_In the bedroom, Nick sat slumped on a green wing back chair-his eyes vacant as if he was somewhere, anywhere but here. _

_Eventually, the ambulance arrived and the EMTs walked in and escorted Nick to the back of the vehicle where his vitals were taken._

Super Dave was examining the tissue carefully with latex-gloved hands, blood smearing on them. The smell of iron indicated that this was indeed the real thing and not some joke as the Entomologist had hoped.

"It's definitely the size of a 16 week old fetus and it's real. Looks like it was frozen for a time being as there are still ice particles, but it's about 4.5 inches long. It's hard to tell the gender, probably the Doc could do better with that. It might be of help to Nick."

Grissom nodded, "DNA results were enclosed."

Super Dave turned his attention away from the box and he looked at the laminated sheet, and read the results nodding, "They're a pretty reputable lab. I'm sure Doc Robbins will want to give them a call to verify the test results."

He looked back at Blainey's dead body which Greg was photographing and looking as if he'd like to take a sledgehammer to it and back at the box, "I know this is not an appropriate to say, but it is impressive to see how intact the remains are given the device he's said to have used."

"You're right." Grissom said harshly, "That was not an appropriate thing to say. This was Nick's Stokes child. Show some damn respect will you!"

Super Dave looked momentarily ashamed, his face flushed behind his glasses and he glanced away to go over to examine Blainey's remains.

Grissom stared down at the remains remembering the moment he first laid eyes on them.

_It took about a second to register what he had seen. Grissom wasn't sure what to expect when he was opening the box, a dead animal perhaps when he was drawing the pink tissue away?_

_Then he saw it. It was fully developed, it's eyes were fused shut, skin very translucent, its tiny hands were scrunched up near its tiny face and the umbilical chard was still attached. The sight of which even broke Grissom's heart all the while wondering if it was real, but the iron smell soon permeated his senses, it was real. _

_He quickly gathered himself because the focus was now on ensuring Nick could be spared from any more anguish then he'd already experienced._

_But Blainey had other plans._

_Suicide by cops perhaps? Or in this case a CSI-did he know that he was done for and rather then face the wheels of justice, he chose to provoke Nick into a state of mind where he would be an escape route out of facing a trial, judge and jury._

_Nevada would have probably sent him to the chamber of death anyways-but that would have meant that Blainey could enjoy the triumphant of knowing he'd finally brought down someone that Regine loved and cherished-and that was his ultimate plan. To destroy her and everyone who loved her including Nick, Tre and Lee. It was not enough to allow himself to stay alive-and the juiciness of knowing that Nick would have to live with his death was much more beckoning. _

The sound of snapping and whistling drew the Entomologists attention away from the Coroner's Assistant.

Catherine was photographing the box of horrors left for Nick. He could hear sniffling coming from her.

She turned to face Grissom tears streaming down her face and he reached over and drew her to him as she allowed the camera to rest on her chest. He asked if she'd like Sara come and do this but she refused.

"What the hell is all this Grissom?" She sobbed, "It wasn't enough he killed Regine, but he committed this..this.. on her body. Why?"

He was quiet for a moment as his mind searched for a philosophical answer but he could only come up with a reference.

"Did you ever see the movie _Se7en_?" He asked the blonde criminalist .

Catherine backed away from him hostile, "Now's not the time to talk about movies Gil!"

"I'm not," Grissom explained, "A serial killer picks his victims based on the seven deadly sins."

Catherine eyed him, "This was all about the seven deadly sins? Whose sins? Regine's? Lee's ? Nick'?"

"No, this was about Blainey's sin which was envy. You see the serial killer envied a cop for the wonderful life he supposedly had so he set up a scenario where the cop would become so enraged with him that he'd have no choice but to kill him."

"I'm still confused." Catherine explained drying her tears.

"It seems that Blainey has committed all but one sin. Gluttony and greed for the exotic animal trade and dog fighting; sloth because he anytime he broke the law, his father took care of it; pride because he didn't feel anything he did was wrong; lust because he was obsessed with Regine and for his assaults against his patients while was a gynecologist; and his last sin was envy of Nick's life with the woman he lusted after; but he was generous enough to save one for Nick." He looked pointedly at Catherine to see if she could figure it out.

"Wrath." She answered.

He nodded.

"But why! Why her?"

Grissom shook his, "Because she wouldn't let herself be another victim, nor would she allow him to victimize anyone else-she got in the way."

"And for that he killed her." Catherine concluded.

"Hey Grissom come here!" Brass called leaning through the front doorway.

Grissom followed him out and towards the back yard where the grass had grown almost above their ankles and where in the large dog house laid Tre Smith his upper body slumped over the growling Great Dane beside him refusing to leave the young man's side.

On the dog's collar was the name 'Snoop' in a large bone-shaped tag which gleamed int he flashlights shone on them giving the dog a rather spooky, Cujo-like look.

"Hey I know this dog!" Brass exclaimed,"He was at the shelter when I went there to question the kid. Warrick wanted this dog pretty bad."

"What did they call him at the shelter?" A uniform asked, "Cujo?"

"Dog's just protecting his master!" Brass shook his head, "Kind of like Warrick with Nick."

"I'm sure Warrick will be pleased to know that you are comparing him to a dog." Grissom relieved for some comedic relief.

"That ain't a dog, that's a horse!" Sofia exclaimed.

The immense size of the light brown dog disallowed them to see the young man save for his face and long hair hanging his face, blood flowed from his nose which looked very puffy, his lips looked as if blood had crusted over.

Grissom tried to approach him, trying to use a calming technique he learned trying to control Sara and his dog, Hank, but the dog continued to growl.

A cop asked if he'd like him to shoot the animal. Grissom snapped back, "Absolutely not. The dog's probably the reason the kid is still alive and that Nick is still alive."

He turned back to the detective, "Brass, call Iris McVeigh, her number should be on the bulletin board in Nick's house, she can come out and calm the dog down. I don't think he's hurt too bad."

The dog continued to bark and growl at the crew around him-not wanting anyone to touch his beloved master.

"Tre!" Grissom called, "It's Grissom."

Much to everyone's relief, a moan came from the dog house.

Tre perched himself up slightly on his elbows then told Snoop to quiet down, 'It's okay boy!!!!" The dog whined and began to lick his the kid's face nervously.

"Are you okay?" Grissom called.

"I think so. Blainey attacked me, but Snoop chased him off. So I ran back here, but I think he injected me with something. I feel really gross!" He started to crawl out while Snoop whined a bit. Tre calmed him down with assuring words before slumping onto the large animal.

"We'll get you to the hospital."

Brass came out, "She's on her way. She's gonna take the dog home and insists on taking Nicky and Tre back to her farm when all is said and done."

Tre moaned and tried to sit up again, "Nick is he?"

"He's okay!" Grissom said, 'Thanks to you and your friend there." The dog was still growling slightly at the crew.

"And Blainey?"

"He's dead."

Tre's black eyes widened and then he asked, "Would it be wrong if I said that's great!"

Grissom smiled slightly, "I think that sentiment is felt all around Tre."

_White lights _

His dark brown eyes opened and squinted at the soft light around him. Groaning he looked around. One of his hands had tape on it linking him up to an IV. He pulled himself onto his elbows and looked towards Warrick slumped in a armchair snoring lightly.

Nick turned his head towards a window and noticed that it was still dark outside.

Then he looked at the shades covering the hallway windows and saw a female body walking by them. His breath caught.

Nick smiled for a second, "Regine!"

But instead, it was Sara who appeared through the door.

"It's me Nick."

Nick shifted himself upward in his hospital bed and stared at the IV in his arm and then looked around confused.

Sara walked over to him and clasped his hand.

Then he felt someone's arm around his shoulder he turned to look and saw Warrick looking down at him, blue eyes looking crusted and red.

"It's okay Bro!" He hushed.

Warrick looked at Sara, "Do you want anything from the cafeteria."

"Naw, go on home Warrick." She whispered, "I'll take over now."

Warrick smiled down at Nick, "Just rest Nick."

He wasn't sure if Nick even heard him. Warrick had spent the past six hours listening to the ramblings of a shocked and delusional man whose sanity had finally broke. Nick was severely dehydrated and exhausted-his body feverish from an infection brewing from an untreated neck wound. It was not septic, but given his weakened immune system-it didn't take much for an infection to brew in him.

Warrick himself was exhausted from listening to Nick who kept calling for Regine over and over, begging forgiveness over and over which both angered and distressed to a point where he would have liked nothing more then to go over to the morgue and slam Blainey's dead body to a point where Doc couldn't even autopsy him, then he would go out afterwards and find the rest of the crew and take care of them as well.

But he knew he couldn't.

Warrick needed sleep more then anything, a stiff drink and when he felt up to it the punching bag hanging from the rafters of his loft would suffice for living bodies.

His mind slipped to casinos, but then he pushed it out of his head knowing that when Nick came around, he'd probably be pissed as hell at him and he'd become the punching bag.

Warrick stood up and stretched out tightened and knotted muscles and headed out bidding Sara goodnight. He'd be back in a few hours. Hopefully by then Nick would be more coherent and ready for the gift he and Archie had put together for him.

"Sara," Nick asked-voice strained.

"Nick try not to talk." She whispered.

"Please get Regine for me. Please! I need to tell her I'm sorry and I understand." He was breathing fast and erratic, sweat poured from his brow, his eyes red with fatigue and delirium.

"Nick she's gone. She's dead." No point beating around the bush.

Sobs were emerging from Nick as fumbled with the sheets and get up, the gown threatening to slip from his narrow shoulders and give Sara an unwanted peep show as his boxers peaked out as he leaned over. Sara gently maneuvered Nick back into the stack of pillows he'd been provided.

A TV had been provided as Warrick's request, and he had turned it to the Discovery Channel.

"No she's not. She's at home waiting for me. We're going to have another baby Sara." Nick tried to explain as if Sara was the one out her mind.

"Nick I'm sorry she's gone." Sara sat down on the bed, taking Nick's hands and looking straight into his eyes, "I'm sorry but she's gone."

Nick looked confused and then "No!" He cried before crumbling into sobs, "No! No!"

Closing her arms around him, Sara rocked Nick gently, kissing the top of his head as tears streamed down her face as she whispered, "I'm here for you Nick. I'm not leaving you. For what it's worth, you still have me."

"Sara she can't be dead. She was going to have another baby."

Grissom had walked into the room and watched as Sara comforted her friend, rocking him gently assuring him they were there for him. She was there for him.

He felt a slight twinge of jealousy, but then the Entomologist knew that Nick and Sara had a long history of friendship and the right now he needed her.

Sara looked up at Grissom and smiled and nodded that he could come in, Nick needed as many friends as he could

However, she'd forgotten that Nick might not be that happy to see Grissom.

Grissom quickly walked over and put his hand on Nick's shoulder, "Nick's Regine's gone. She's gone Nick."

Nick turned his eyes on Grissom as reality ebbed its way into Nick's mind.

"Why didn't you tell me Grissom she was pregnant when Blainey killed her?" He gasped.

Grissom shook his head unsure of what to say or do, "I was waiting for the right time Nick."

"When! When was the right time? Was that the right time back there?"

"NO!" Grissom answered, "I didn't know it was going to be like that Nick. I had no idea."

"Nick," Sara rushing to defend Grissom, "It wasn't done to hurt you."

"Oh fuck yeah right Grissom! It's always been like that with you when it came to me. Yeah don't tell Nick about the tape wait till Nick finds it on his own damn time. It's always like this with you Grissom! Always hiding stuff from me. Always thinkin' you are helping me when in the end it was the worst possible fucking decision which I have to live with-not you-me!!!" Nick's eyes were filled with rage.

"Nick, I'm, I'm sorry!" Grissom said helplessly, "I'm really sorry about this. I'm sorry you had to go through that back there."

Nick folded his arms and then said quietly, "I just want to be left alone."

Grissom nodded, but Sara said, "I'm not leaving you Nick no matter how much you want me to."

He didn't argue and let Sara hold him tightly again as sobs re-emerged.

Grissom left a small gift on Nick's desk that he was sure he would like. An article in a Canadian new magazine- _MacLean'_s that detailed the life and accomplishments of Dr. Regine LeBourdais Stokes. It was beautifully written and had quotes from many of her friends and colleagues and gorgeous photos of her working with the gorillas in the Congo and then another with Nick himself and their two dogs-the smaller one glaring at Nick as usual.

For the next few days, Nick slipped in and out of feverish delirium, his body wracked with pain, infection, grief and pumped full of antibiotics and anti-anxiety drugs.

He saw himself and Regine dancing at a cal eigh on St. Patrick's Day, her hands leading him onto the floor where he tried to do a jig and a reel and faltered badly while she clapped and laughed, her red hair flying about.

Then he'd see her being raped by Blainey screaming his name and he'd be in the room screaming and trying to get to her but blocked by glass, or by some of those damn kids involved in dog fights; and even at times the dogs themselves would be ravaging him while he tried to save Regine.

And those were the days he'd opened his eyes and see Sara's staring down at him; or Catherine and Lindsay, Catherine wiping his forehead with a cold cloth while Lindsay chatted to him about something she'd copied off the TV for him; or some crude joke she'd learned in high school; sometimes he awoke to Grissom sitting in an armchair reading, peering over his glasses; then other times it was Brass trying to talk to him about nothing; he'd wake up to see Greg reading a book about mobsters; and then Warrick would put ESPN on to see if that would bring him around.

Iris and the Preist from Regine's church stopped by saying _Hail Marys_ for him and Nick would mumble about not being Catholic before drifting off to where Regine was and he would be walking with her, listening to her play the piano, or watching her upstage singing with her band; or he would be making love to her-as they seemed to be always doing.

_When I find myself in times of trouble  
Mother Mary calls to me, whispering words of wisdom  
Let it be_

Nick heard her singing and then his eyes opened to seeing her on screen-the gift Archie, Greg and Warrick had made for him-a DVD of her singing-seemingly Tre had a buddy video tape these for Tre himself-but after she died, he went to Warrick and told him he wanted to make a special DVD for Nick.

Tre managed to come by as well and told him that the dogs at the farm were fine; Dexter loved being a farm cat and hanging in a chicken-coop adjoined to the house where he and the other cats could safely watch the action and the horse that was brought to the farm that he was trying to work with and that Nick could probably be the one to bring the poor soul around.

Finally, the haze began to clear and Nick awoke to rain hitting the window pane.

He heard someone snoring softly and shifted onto an elbow to see Sara Sidle dozing on the armchair with a blanket drawn over her.

Feeling around his neck, he felt a fresh clean bandange, then he cleared some of the built up phlegm inside his throat and finally called her, "Sara."

Sara awoke with a start and sat up, arching her back that was so stiff that the vertebrae popped when she stretched.

Rubbing her eyes she went to sit down on the edge and again took his hand.

Nick looked rough. His eyes blood shot, his hair which looked as if he were ready to join a British rock band was tousled and he could use a good shave.

"Hey you!" She smiled down at him, her brown eyes looking red and sleepy.

Nick sat up, "How long I been here."

"A couple of days. You had a pretty high fever. The wound in your neck was infected pretty badly and your body was run down from stress which resulted in your sickness You haven't been looking after yourself obviously." Her voice took on a scolding manner.

"Hmmm." Nick closed his eyes and ran a hand through his hair. It felt oily and grubby.

"Guess I look like shit, I feel like shit." He mumbled his voice sounding raspy, it hurt to talk.

Sara stroked the top of his head gently.

"Regine used to do that." Nick whispered.

"I'm sorry!" Sara took her hand away.

"No that's okay."

He was quiet for a moment and then spoke in a tone that squeaked with each vowel, "I guess should have known she was pregnant. We stopped using condoms several months ago, but there was so much going on with her. She had become so secretative. I wonder why she wouldn't tell?"

Nick then looked at Sara, "Do you think..do you think that it wasn't mine?

"She worshipped the ground you walked on." Sara answered

"Come on Sara, you're the realist to my optimism."

Sara was silent and then decided to come clean with what she had done for him before coming over to the hospital. For Nick's questions were her own. Had Blainey performed some kind of trick on Nick and if it was Regine's-was it Nick's? She hated that she had to go that route. However, given everyone else's concern for their colleague, it was important that she finish the case by answering questions that she knew Nick would have once he got past the horror of the discovery. They weren't going to be easy answers, but it would give him some resolution-if any was to be found.

"In that box there were lab results that were done at a reputable laboratory in town. Doc Robbins spoke to the Director and Blainey had come in with two small vials of blood a few weeks. One adult, one fetal as they soon found out. I had Wendy reran the remaining blood in the vials. One came up as your DNA, the one from the fetus had seven alleles in common with yours."

"It was my..my..child then.." Nick asked, tears forming in his already blood shot eyes.

Tears forming in her eyes, Sara nodded, "Yes Nick was yours. I'm sorry, I wanted it to be some cruel hoax that he had played on you, but it wasn't. This was your child. Regine's uterus was a mess when Doc did her autopsy, a lot of blood was found around her vagina, particularly coming from the cervix. And while I was investigating her murder, I found out that Regine had been to her gynecologist that day and she was very happy for the pregnancy. She hadn't told you because she was going to surprise you on your birthday."

Nick's mouth had turned downward and small noises were emitting from his throat.

"Doc then had a woman show up in the morgue that had died from a botched abortion. She couldn't afford a medical one, so she had a friend do it using a coat hanger. He compared the results with a Regine's and found there were similarities, the only difference was that Regine's was done post-mortem-if that's any bit of consolation Nick, she was already dead when it was done."

"Could he..tell..what it was?" Nick's eyes were a mixture of pain, "I know it's hard to tell at 16 weeks."

"Ummm..he wasn't sure, it was pretty intact, but he speculated that it was probably a boy." Sara's were welling up with tears.

Nick turned to the window, tears were streaming down fast and furious.

Then he sighed, "I'm sure IAB is investigating my shooting of Blainey."

Sara nodded grimly, "Yes they are Nick, but Grissom is doing all he can to avoid it. Ecklie thinks they won't go to far into given that you saved the life of another criminalist."

Nick shrugged, "They'll do what they have to do Sara."

The Texan looked up at Sara and reached for her hand, squeezing it tightly, "Thank you Sara for everything you've done. I know things were tense for you two and I probably should have done more to help with that instead of turning my back on our friendship."

"Hey!" Sara smiled, "You know me. I'm stubborn sometimes and refused to budge."

"So was Regine."

"Well there you go then, it would have been a futile effort. But Nick I'm glad I was given the opportunity to do this for her. I've learned a lot about her and she was a valiant woman, very brave. I wish I'd taken time to get to know her, we could have been good friends."

Nick nodded, "Doesn't matter know. I'm sure somewhere she's thanking you."

Sara turned her head as something outside the window caught her eye. She went to look out the window and smiled, "A rainbow!"

Nick pulled himself up and looked, "Maybe that's her now. It's like that song from U2 that she liked sing sometimes there's a line it that goes 'after the flood all the colours come out'."

Sara turned around and smiled at Nick and decided not to into the scientific explanation of rainbows and how they are caused by dispersion of sunlight as it goes through raindrops.

No, let the man have his moment of spirituality-he needed it and was entitled to it.

Sara walked over and propped Nick's pillows for me trying to make him more comfortable.

She leaned over and asked him, "Better."

He looked up, "Yeah..better."

Sara leaned over to give Nick a kiss on the cheek but stopped as something more urgent came over her and wound up kissing him lightly on the lips, surprisingly he kissed back.

It was a gentle, soft kiss. Sara continued running her hands through his brown, longish hair as it became more intense, more urgent and Nick responded, one hand on the back of her head as he allowed himself get lost in the desire of the moment.

"I'm sorry!" Sara jumped up, "Nick I'm …"

Nick pulled himself into a better sitting position, "No, don't. I'm sorry..I don't know what happen." His face became guilt ridden, "Jesus what an idiot I am!" He avoided her gaze completely.

Sara bit her lip nervously, "Don't feel guilty Nick, it's my fault."

"No…I should feel guilty..and it's not your fault, I'm, I've been really lonely. Even before Regine died, I was feeling lonely cause things were rough and then before she died, I though we had put things behind us and back on track and then.."

He shook his head in disgust, "And I go and kiss my boss's girlfriend..nice going Nick!"

Sara sat on the chair and tried to find a way to stop both of them from self-flagellating themselves to death.

He was lonely, she could see it and he was just a man who'd been through the ringer the past few months and needed some consolation and as for her, it was a long unfulfilled desire she'd had since she came to Vegas despite her deep love for Grissom, Nick had been someone who she had harboured a secret desire for. It couldn't be helped. She was only human.

"Nick I'm sorry, I shouldn't have kissed you like that. It was really, really inappropriate." Sara felt flushed with shame, the man had just lost his wife and she was putting the moves on him. Tears came to her eyes. Not to mention she just cheated on the love of her life who could have walked in at any moment.

The Texan smiled slightly, a sad wistful smile, "What's a kiss between friends Sara? It's no big deal. Really don't worry about it. It never happened okay?"

She nodded, feeling relieved, "No, it never happened."

He stared ahead at the TV watching penguins walk across ice, "It made feel like I was with Regine again."

Sara swallowed hard as she felt both complimented and a little insulted, but that was okay.

"You want anything to eat. I was going to get a veggie burger."

"Naw..well..maybe a cola or something would be nice."

A gap-toothed grin, "Yeah I can do that."

And with that Sara left the room while Nick tried to ponder what happened and finally surmised it as a combination of grief and pure loneliness.

He stared at the rainbow for still lost in Sara scent and still feeling her lips on his. They were incredibly soft and gentle, although not having the fullness of Regine's lovely mouth, the kiss itself was satisfying and had sent jolts to his groin which had been put on hiatus since his wife's death.

_God I miss you Regine so damn much it just hurts. I'm sorry I did that. I hope you understand I'm lonely._

Something within whispered that she did indeed understand. He was only human.

"_That voice you hear in your head sometimes Nick is the Holy Spirit talking." She once said to him._

"_Oh I just thought it was my well hidden Schizophrenia acting up. I keep thinking I got that dog tamed and it starts to tell me things like..'Yes Nick, go ahead..shove Hodges in he freezer..nobody will miss him'." He answered her raising his eyebrows playfully at her._

"_Well in your case Nicky, yes." She smiled playfully, "But it's the Holy Spirit. It's always with you."_

_The Texan thought about it "But it could be angels or ghosts talking to you."_

"_Maybe." She smiled, "I know if I were to die, I'd haunt your cute ass forever."_

"_That a promise or a threat?"_

"_Both."_

Nick smiled as he felt some kind of forgiveness washed over him and an encouragement that it was okay for him to move on and find love again. Regine had once quoted a scripture to him from the bible that above all things love was most important and she would never allow him to spend the rest of his life alone.

Realization hit him then knowing Sara was deeply and madly in love with his boss.

"_There's always hope Nick, he heard Regine whisper, "But then again don't wait around forever there's a lot of wonderful women out there. Just don't get too caught up in the surface, look for the beauty that radiates from within."_

"I'll remember that Reg." Nick whispered to the rainbow which then slowly stated to disappear.

Then turned his head at some footsteps coming towards his room-was Sara back already?

"Nicky my love!" Iris breezed in carrying gift bags galore, "Is it okay if I came in. I brought some of my Irish stew that you love; some magazines all those sports ones you love; pictures of your dogs and cats."

She was like a tornado coming in sweeping away the previous tension and guilt-filled room.

Tre slowly followed, his face bruised-a black eye had swollen it shut. His upper lip sported a puffy gash and that was before he noticed the sling.

The two men nodded at each, so much to say but Tre being prideful was simply satisfied to sit gingerly in the chair that Sara occupied.

Iris looked ever so sharp in a gray crisp, clean suit. Normally she wore jeans and sweatshirts with the Vegas Humane Society logo inscribed on them, but today she looked ready to kill in the suit, nicely lined with a silk white blouse.

"Iris, you dressed up for me." He said moving about. Thankful that Sara had saw to it that Warrick bring in some of Nick's track pants and t-shits.

Although he'd like to know who'd dressed him-hopefully a nurse-or Warrick-no Warrick wouldn't do that despite their healthy 'man-love'.

"Oh don't be flattering yourself cowboy. No I came to see because I have many, many things to discuss with you." She set the bags down and grasped his hands excitedly grinning from ear to ear.

"Woe! Woe I'm still drugged up. What is it?"

"Well I…." She turned as someone else entered the small, private room.

Grissom, still wearing his CSI gear of a black vest and his plantation hat. Looking as if he'd come straight from a shift. The Entomologist stared at the two visitors and started to retreat.

"Oh you have visitors." He said, "I'm sorry I'll come back."

"That's okay." Nick sat up straight up and moved around to sit on the edge of the bed inviting Iris to sit with him, which she did perching her small, squat body next to his thin one.

He carefully avoided Grissom's eyes, not wanting him to see the guilt in them and have him guess that he'd just kissed his woman.

Thankfully, the Irish woman had command of the room. Iris was like the tea pot in the nursery rhyme, short and stout, but boy she was one hell of spitfire.

"Would you like us to leave?" Iris asked suddenly realizing maybe she should let the man have time with his boss.

"No, I can leave it's something that can wait." Grissom answered..he too was carrying a gift bag.

Nick shook his head, "Is it private Griss?"

"Yes and no, I have some good news for you Nick. Is it okay if I share it with these guys."

The three looked at each other and nodded.

Grissom smiled, "IAB is not going to conduct an investigation into what happened that night. They've decided your shooting of Blainey was with cause."

"Of course!" Iris cried out, "He saved your arse Grissom."

"Yeah, that's kind of what they said to." Grissom chuckled at the brazen comment from this woman who would make a hell of a good cop. She'd scare the information out of suspects with her fiery ways.

"He's a hero!" She beamed at Nick proudly.

He ducked his head not one for being in the spot light.

"Well, I thought you'd want to know." Grissom said, "And I brought you some reading material Nick and a crossword puzzle."

"Oh thanks." Nick said not wanting to admit to Grissom he wasn't a huge fan of crossword puzzles, but what the hell try anything once was his motto.

"Well, I'll leave you guys alone."

"Oh stay Grissom, my love!" Iris said, "I was just going to tell Nicky some good news about the humane society."

Nick's ears perked, "Well O'Sullivan's gone. That's a start."

"Yes and the members' resoundly dissolved the Board of Directors last night. They want a clean slate Nicky and the first thing they did was put together a new Board of Directors and they've asked me to be the Executive Director of the Humane Society!"

"Wow!" Nick said, "That's fantastic!"

"And I've asked Tre to be my assistant and he's also going to be training to be a cruelty investigator."

Nick smiled warmly at Tre, "You're a hero too bud."

Grissom nodded in agreement, "I've asked the Sheriff to recommend him for a civilian award and to look into getting his record expunged."

Tre beamed with excitement, "Oh wow man!! Thanks! I want to go to school some day and become a Cop or a Criminalist like you guys! But my record was gonna hold me back. Thanks so much man!!!"

"Well, maybe someday you'll join us in the Lab." Grissom smiled at the excited young man who was getting a second chance to make something of himself and to move beyond the drudgery of cleaning dirty dog cages and smoking behind animal shelters.

"I've been looking at student loans though." Tre said grimacing at some of the bruising on his body, "I'll probably have to do it part time."

At that moment, Nick decided to share some good news himself, "I can help with that Tre?"

They stared at Nick confused and he went on, "You see, Regine left her entire estate to me and there's money for you too Tre-on one condition-you go to college."

Tre was shocked, "Are you serious?"

"I'm quite serious Tre!" Nick said feeling his spirits lift after days of anguish.

"Oh man!" Tre said shocked, "I don't believe this."

"Just work hard Tre!" Nick ordered, "Make Regine proud."

"I will for sure!" Tre smiled in relief and joy.

Then Nick looked at Iris, "And there's money for the animals too Iris. It's her instructions."

Iris petted his hands, "They're like my family now Nick. They can stay with me forever."

Nick looked down, "Yeah that's probably going to be the case because I'd like to get back to work." He looked at Grissom.

"Anytime you're ready Nick." Grissom told him, "We've missed you on the team, you still need to see the Pyschologist though and have her sign you off."

"Yeah I'll see her as soon as I'm out of here."

"Damn straight you are Nicky," Iris warned, "You're gonna go there even I have to drag you by your cute arse me self."

Tre snickered, "I'd film that for You Tube."

"Oh no you won't!" Nick told him then looked at Iris, "How do you know what my ass looks like Iris?"

"Oh well, I notice everything Nick and your wife definitely confirmed my suspicions once."

Nick snorted, "She would!"

Grissom smiled at the camaraderie wondering if he should leave, but then Nick said to Tre and Iris, "I..need to talk to Grissom privately guys."

"Oh sure, but can I just give you one last bit of good news."

"Yeah sure."

"There's a spot on the Board of Directors and they've asked that you come on board. The members voted unanimously that you be asked to."

Nick nodded, "Yeah, sure I'll do it. What position."

"Oh Chair."

Nick blew out a breath.

"It's not a paid position though."

"No, of course not. I don't know if I have the time to do it."

"Well, you'll share the position with Lee Leadbeater's friend Steve MacLean."

"Nick," Grissom said, "I think it would be good for you. We all need things to do outside of work."

"Well Iris you twisted my arm, but I'll do it."

"Knew you would."

"Let's go Tre!" Iris said to the young man, "Your room is ready at the farm Nick!"

"Copy that." Nick answered wearily knowing if he said no, he'd be in for an argument.

And besides, without admitting to anyone, he wanted someone to look after him for a while and Iris was a better option then his parents because he could still go to work as Iris's farm was not too far outside of Vegas.

The two left and Nick was left alone with his boss trying to make his face poker as possible-hard to do when his brown eyes welled up in a heartbeat at the littlest emotional thing-Regine had thought it was sexy, while Nick thought it made him look weak.

Nick took a deep breath, "I understand why you didn't tell me about Regine's pregnancy Grissom."

Grissom remained stoic for a moment and then simply said, "I'm glad to hear it Nick."

An awkward silence followed.

Then Nick said, "Tre actually got me thinking about the videos of Regine and I together. Are they safe?"

"We'll make sure they are Nick. Regine's file is on restricted access and at this not even you are allowed to see it including the videos."

"That's fine. I don't need to see them."

"No you don't." Grissom agreed, "And I don't think it's healthy for you to either."

"Grissom, I shot someone." Nick said, "And as much of a bastard he was, I still feel remorseful. I had no choice; he was going to kill you."

"Well Nick," Grissom said, "It goes to show that there is something very crucial that clearly separates someone like from someone like Blainey."

"And that is?" Nick asked.

"A conscience. Blainey killed people simply because he could. There was not an ounce of remorse about him, it was indicative in his treatment of animals. There are countless studies that have shown the parallel between cruelty to animals and cruelty to people. Blainey is a textbook case of that."

"Yeah," Nick said, "He immediately went up the food chain on that one."

"You on the other hand, killed to save a life, but the fact that you are remorseful indicates that you have a conscience. I guess I'm trying to say Nick that what you're feeling right now is normal. And as far as IAB is concerned, they consider not only your shooting of him justified, but a heroic deed."

Nick tugged at a thread on his track pants digesting the information.

"Which is another reason I'm here today." Grissom went on after another awkward silence which the Entomologist couldn't really put a finger on but concluded that it was the normal state of things when it came to his relationship with Nick.

"And that is to?"

"Thank you…for saving my life Nick." Grissom said awkwardly.

Nick smiled sadly, "You're welcome."

_**A/N: Just one more chapter and it's done. Thank you for taking time to read this unedited story. You put up with my errors and still plowed through.**_

_**It was fun writing this story, but still draining. Angst is addictive, but it's also also hard on the soul to put your beloved characters through the ringer.**_


	16. Chapter 16

_I just wanted to thank you all for keeping with this and I apologize for all the bad grammar and errors you endured. My next story will definitely have a Beta for it._

_And it will be a gritty one, I can tell you that._

_And I'm sorry for posting this so late. I really needed to ponder the final chapter and debate where to take this._

_I chose to go the route I did for a reason. I'm not one for sequels, so when this story ends it will end. There are no strings that will be left hanging._

_And GSR fans will not like it, but the Snickers fans will. Although as I just said. When this story is finished, that's it._

_**THIS WOMAN'S WORK**_

_**EPILOGUE**_

_**Tom Booker**__**: Sometimes what seems like surrender isn't surrender at all. It's about what's going on in our hearts. About seeing clearly the way life is and accepting it and being true to it, whatever the pain, because the pain of not being true to it is far, far greater**_

**From the movie 'The Horse Whisperer'.**

The Saddlebred's chestnut coat gleamed in the sunlight as it trotted around Nick in the circular pen.

But it was not a happy soul anytime Nick approached her, she would rear, her ears back, eyes glaring at him.

So he backed off a bit.

Trinity had just recently lost her beloved owner in a tragic accident. Iris's friend at a rescue camp had taken the animal in to help it recover from its injury, but its spirit was completely broken. It had become skittish, easily frightened. The vets wanted to destroy her, but Iris said she'd take it in much to their chagrin. It was typical of veterinarians to assume the worst because they'd seen the worst. In a way they are like Crimanlists-true to science and its revelations, sometimes forgetful of the spirit of living creatures and their strong will to survive.

Iris, however, was a woman of hope and faith-a faith deeply entrenched in the belief that God gave every creature the will to survive whatever tragedy was inflicted on them.

And she reminded Nick every day of that, particularly on the ones where he simply just wanted to lay in his bed in the guest room-which now seemed more like home-since he filled it with his favourite DVD's and books.

"_C'mon lad, the horse ain't gonna fix itself. Get your arse outa bed!" She'd tell him, bursting into his room as if he were a teenager._

"_I get out of bed to go to work!" Nick whined as he sat up irritated that she was trying to pull him away from his 'Planet Earth' series, "I wanted ed to watch the part about how long the cameraman sat in the freezing cold hills of Pakistan to catch a glimpse of the Snow Leopard!"_

"_Oh who cares about some Snow Leopard in Pakistan?_

"_I do!!! You know how long it took the cameraman to catch that one shot!"_

"_I don't care, there's an animal in need your help out there lad, and you need to do this Nicky, the Horse Whispering lady is waiting out there Nick. She can tell you what you need to know."_

"_Fine!" Nick shot up out of bed and stormed out to the barn._

"_No, I'm not, but as Regine's friend, I swore on her grave that I'd look after you! And I keep me promises; now go work with that damn horse!!!"_

_Nick switched off the DVD and headed out to the barn where the horse was. The thing hated him on sight. He wondered if perhaps the vets were right._

_The poor soul stood there neighing at the sight of him. Scars could be scene where it had been injured on the flank, the legs, the side of the head._

_ Nick felt overwhelmed with pity and that's when he decided to give it a go on his own,and then with some help with his friend from the group when he realized that his previous ranch experience growing up at his dad's was no enough._

_It had slowly started to trust him. _

By now Nick had gone back to work on a restricted schedule and was only doing straight B.E.'s and minor assaults. Nothing intense. Boring as it was, Nick was quite glad for the shorter hours. He looked forward to coming home and spending time with this wounded soul.

Nick wearily approached the animal, whispering softly to it, trying to rope the legs.

Nick had met the horse whispering lady in a victim's right's groups - her partner had been a horse trainer, or a 'horse whisperer' before being murdered in a hate crime.

She'd moved from Utah to Vegas, but couldn't escape the pain, so she joined the group. Nick got to talking to her about Iris's problem horse and she became his consultant.

Iris was delighted for Nick, hoping this could lead to something more.

Nick quickly dashed those hopes as the woman's partner was her lesbian partner, murdered for simply being gay.

"_Nice try Iris!" Nick smiled over some vegetarian bacon she had ready for him when he came off graveyard._

"_Awww…Nicky..you can't knock me for trying. You know Regine won't have you spending your life being lonely."_

"_All in good time Iris. All I good time." Nick assured her, "But she's going to teach me some techniques for Trinity."_

Trinity was picked by Tre after hours and hours of names being thrown around, and then the young man, who finally cut his hair to a point where Nick could see his eyes again, came up with it as homage to Regine's Christian beliefs.

"_Sounds like a good one."_

"_Plus the horse seems like she has multiple personality disorder."_

"_Oh get off it!" Iris snarled, "You leave me horse alone. You been through what she's been through losing the love of her life, you understand why she's cantankerous."_

_Nick got up from the table then and walked out saying, "I know how she's feeling."_

"_Quit feeling' sorry for yerself Nicky!" Iris barked, "And stop feeding that fat dog of yours me bacon, I just got his weight under control until you came here and started spoiling him again."_

_Ranger looked up at Nick almost smiling and grateful for some food other then the vet diet, the Texan simply winked at the dog before sneaking more of that veggie bacon to him. _

And it was with this pain that Nick approached the horse in a gentle, empathetic fashion. His father would probably have a field day with him saying a horse needed traditional ways of training to 'tame the beast'.

Nick disagreed and felt this poor soul simply needed someone to understand them.

Horses are such emotional creatures; Nick thought as she stood whirling the rope, they simply needed to trust and love.

It reared almost knocking him down, but Nick simply backed away and crawled over the wooden beamed fence.

"So are we the horse whisperer now?"

He turned and saw Sara walking towards him, wearing jeans, a blue v-neck, form fitting t-shirt and sun glasses.

Nick smiled, "Hey there." His heart skipped a beat at the sight of her.

"Hey yourself." She walked up beside him and leaned on the fence.

"How's she doing?" Sara asked as Nick through e-mails kept her apprised of operating horse rehab.

"Oh, better." Nick answered, "She let me get a little closer to her today."

"You always did have a way with animals Nick." Sara told him looking up at him.

Nick nodded, "Yeah, they're less complicated then people."

They were quiet for a moment while the horse walked around nibbling on grass.

"How's it going out here for you?"

Nick laughed, "Iris is kind of a drill sergeant. On my case about spoiling the dogs, and watching too much of 'Planet Earth', it was the last DVD Regine gave me before she died. We were going to watch it together."

"Well," Sara told him, "It's probably a good thing Nick that she's like that. You need someone like that to get you through the rough times. Some people wallow in pity and others just take charge of all the things that need to be done despite the chaos."

"Yeah," Nick answered, "She's certainly doing that and I kind of appreciate it, just don't tell her that."

Sara laughed, "I won't, but is she still feeding you vegetarian food!"

"Yeah!"

"Hey it's not so bad is it?"

"No Ranger loves veggie bacon." Nick answered gesturing towards the chubby dog laying in the sun, his belly rising up and down and as he snored away.

"You're bad!"

"Yeah I am."

Sara sighed, started, faltered and then came out with it, "Nick, about what happened at the hospital."

He looked down and shifted his weight, "Yeah I've been thinking about that."

"I'm really ashamed of myself." She said, she half-smiled, half frowned at him.

"Don't be." Nick said, "I was out of it. That's all, drugs, shock, grief, pain all mixed together made for one screwed man. I didn't mean to take advantage of you."

"I think it was the other way around." She said nervously, "I took advantage of you. I don't now why. I guess I was feeling the same way. The case, Regine's case took a lot out of me."

"You were amazing Sara, if Blainey hadn't …well..You put together a solid case Sara."

"Thanks Nick. I was, very honoured to do it." Sara folded arms and leaned on the pen watching the majestic animal.

Nick leaned on the fence next to her and then stared right at her nervously, "You didn't tell Grissom about it.."

"God no Nick. I would never do that to him or you." Sara looked stricken by the question.

Nick exhaled in relief and then asked, "Is it okay that we forget about it?"

"Sure I can do that." She answered feeling a little disappointed and yet relieved at his request.

"Good." Nick said turning his attention to the horse.

"Good." She said.

_Truthfully, she couldn't put that kiss out of her head, but for Grissom's sake and Nick's sake they'd have to. She was committed to Grissom. She had wanted him for so long, that she couldn't remember a time when she didn't want him. Now that her dream had been fulfilled, she couldn't simply throw it away for what was probably a girlish crush on a man known for being a flirt, except within the last two years since Regine had come into his life, and who knows when Nick would ever be himself again, if ever._

_Tragedies be felled this man like rain, and he always plowed through them like a bulldozer, but this particular tragedy was probably the epitome of them all. Nick would probably never be the same man again._

_Sara hoped and prayed that he'd find love again. She would never be Regine, but hopefully she would be enough that Nick would be able to finally move on._

"I came here to tell you that O'Sullivan and Sleazebar pleaded guilty to accessory to murder on two accounts and Sleazebar pleaded guilty as well to attempted murder on you."

"He was there!" Nick asked surprised.

"He took a few shots at you he confessed."

Nick shook his head, "What about all the other charges."

"Well, the Feds are looking into the illegal animal trade and the dog fighting charges. Their lawyers are trying to work out a deal."

"They would."

"Well, they're going to jail for a long time Nick."

"What about Blainey's body."

"No one claimed. His parents wrote him off years ago, so he'll be cremated on the tax payer's tab."

Nick shook his head, "Figures."

Sara looked at him again, "It's over Nick. I mean it's not over, but justice has been served."

"Yeah," Nick mumbled, "Doesn't make me feel better, but it's a start."

"They found the kennel where Blainey kept his dogs."

"Yeah, we have them. Thank God we found some animal sanctuaries that are willing to take them so they can be rehabilitated." Nick smiled at Sara, "They deserve another chance."

Sara flushed, "I'm sorry, I forgot you sit on the Board now."

Nick smiled, "Yeah, it's been pretty good except for that. Mostly we talk about staffing needs, fundraising, stuff like that. A nice change from dealing with drug dealers, rapist and murderers."

"Gives a you a warm and fuzzy feeling right?" Sara asked devilishly.

"Haha!" Nick feigned a laugh.

They watched the horse for a bit and then Nick asked, "Do you have some time before your shift."

She looked at him, "Yeah actually I do. Why?"

"Would you come with me to see something?" Nick asked then went on to explain where he would like to take her.

"I'd be honoured." She answered him and then added they needed to make a pit stop before their destination.

As they drove along Nick asked if he could put the CD of Regine singing in, Sara smiled as she listened it.

Regine was singing softly and at points her voice harmonized with Lee. The tune was quite haunting.

_So don't get any big ideas  
They're not gonna happen  
You'll go to Hell  
For what your  
Dirty mind is thinking_

_And now that you found it  
It's gone  
Now that you feel it  
You don't_

"This song is called 'Nude (Big Ideas)' by Radiohead." Nick explained seeing the look of confusion on Sara's face. She was very up to date with the music scene and knew songs that hardly one else did.

Sara nodded, "Oh yeah, from their last album 'Rainbows'."

"Yeah she just learned that one before.."

Nick cleared his throat heavily prompting Sara to quickly move the subject into a more positive direction.

"She was a beautiful singer Nick." Sara said, "Even better then me. She could sing such a wide range of songs."

"Yeah, I know. She wanted to sing for a living, but parents weren't big on it. Her mother went so far as to say the public doesn't buy record from big, soft girls." He said gripping the steering wheel shaking his head in disgust.

Sara blew out a breath and said sarcastically, "That was nice of her."

"Yeah, well I bet they're sorry now they didn't encourage her, might have kept her alive."

"But, then you would never have known her Nick." Sara said.

Nick smiled, "No, I think we would have met, she'd be like Celine Dion selling out concerts every night here in Vegas."

"Yeah, but then Regine would have been a diva as well, and a French Canadian one too."

"I don't' know." Nick said, "Most of the French Canadian I met were pretty laid back like Regine was, although she had the Irish temper in her so that would brought out the diva in her. I certainly saw enough of it."

The two criminalists laughed softly and unwittingly, Sara reached over and placed her hand over and squeezed Nick's hand as he shifted the gear in order to head up a deep hill.

He rolled his tongue around his mouth and looked at her hand over his and then back to the road.

The hand never moved.

Sara placed the white roses into a small holder built into the head stone.

It was a beautiful marble stone with Regine's full name inscribed Dr. Regine Francis LeBourdais Stoke, DVM on it.

But what got Sara's attention was not the rectangular shaped, clean cut stone but the poem that Nick had asked to be in scripted into it.

_Do not weep for me when I am gone_

_For I have friends in the great beyond_

_All the little ones I used to feed_

_Will come to me in my time of need._

_They will purr and bark in great delight,_

_And I will hold and hug them tight._

_Oh what a great day that will be_

_When my furry friends all welcome me._

"Nick, that is beautiful." Sara said smiling feeling tears spring to her eyes, "Where did you find it."

"Regine had this book called _Chicken Soup for the Cat and Dog Lovers' Soul_. I got in touch with one of the authors who actually had heard about Regine's death and when I asked if I could put this on her headstone he had no problem with it." Nick explained placing his own red roses on the other side of Regine's headstone then placing some daisies on his son.

Then he went behind Regine's headstone and laid another set for the fetal remains he had interned.

"I haven't named him yet, when I do, I'll put something here." Nick said his voice soft and tight as he tried to hold back tears.

Sara looked at him sadly while he regained his self composure and looked straight at her, tears brimming.

"We've been working on it Sara, the therapist and I." He assured her trying to smile.

"I know you have." she said as she moved towards him, arms stretched out.

"I don't think, though, I'll ever be able to talk about it. Maybe I won't even put anything on this stone to remind me." He said welcoming her embrace.

"You don't have to." Sara said, "It's your choice."

He looked back at her and nodded, "You're right. I don't."

They held each other tightly and Nick could feel himself stirring at the sense of a female body holding him, touching him.

God he missed that. On the nights he wasn't having nightmares about shooting Blainey or the night Regine was murdered, the good dreams were the times he and Regine had made love. On that note, those were the mornings he awoke feeling cold and empty inside and wondering if he should take his Glock and join Regine.

Then he'd recall her talk about Heaven not allowing people who committed suicide. They'd talked it about on the anniversary of his burial. She had been home and kicked Lee out for the night as Regine knew this particular May Day was not a good one for him and had put her work aside for him-a rare occasion.

_Then she listened empathetically as he talked about suicide, how he almost did it and how sometimes he wished he'd succeeded as the pain afterwards was too much._

"_Well, you wouldn't have gone to Heaven had you succeeded in killing yourself Nicky." She said._

"_What about Purgatory?" Nick asked._

"_No, you'd go to the seventh circle of hell in the middle ring and turn into a thorny bush and be eaten by Harpies."_

"_Says who?" He asked looking at her strangely._

"_Dante!" She answered triumphantly, "In the Inferno!"_

"_Dante! Oh so you're turning into Gil Grissom now! I have to listen to his literary shit at work and come home to my Dante-spewing wife!" He gulped some beer down and noticed Butterfly glaring at him and it took all his will not to spit beer at the dog-or else feel the wrath of his wife through a night on the couch with the dogs in the bed._

_She pondered as she took the clip out her hair and led the red tresses down for his hands to comb through and said, "Yeah! You want me to read some more to you."_

_He thought about it, "Naaaww..why don't you put on some White Stripes for me and I'll take you into the bedroom and we'll fuck for so long that we'll end up in the second circle of hell that asshole Dante wrote about, you know the place for people who cave into their Lust." Nick grinned knowingly at her-as he too had read the Dante books in college. Not his favourite choice of author, more of a forced effort to earn a pesky credit._

_Regine had stood there surprised at Nick's crudeness, then she grinned lusciously at him._

"_Hey," She said walked over to the stereo and slipping in Icky Thump and smiled as she forwarded the tracks to the White Stripes version of 'Conquest' and as Jack White began his crescendo she said "Fuck Dante, when I'm with you Mr. Stokes, my filthy-tongued husband, it's always Heaven!"_

_Nick got up from the couch and pulled her into his arms and they mockingly did a tango to the Spanish tune into the bedroom with Regine muttering that he was her conquest._

"_I don't think so.." He whispered salaciously into her ear._

"_I think so!" She whispered back._

"_If I got my red cape out, you'd be charging me babe. Then I'd have you under control like the matador and the bull."_

"_You don't need a red cape for me to charge you..and I hate that barbaric sport!" She said as she knelt in front of to undo his jeans._

"_Woe!" he exclaimed at her boldness, "I guess I'm about to be conquered."_

Nick bit his lip and felt guilty for having such a memory near her grave site.

Sara looked up at him and saw his tears sliding down and smiled, "Memories can be good and painful can't they."

He nodded, and broke the embrace.

"Well," Sara said breaking up the tension, "We better get..well I had better get going. I've got some paperwork at the Lab to do. So if you don't mind getting me back so I can fetch my truck."

Nick smiled, "Yeah sure Sara and thanks for coming with me."

"Thank you for inviting me." She flashed a gap-tooth grinned, "I'm honoured."

"You're the first person from the lab to see it."

"Then I'm doubly honoured Nick." Sara said as she grasped both his hands.

They drove back to the farm quietly, exchanging glances every so often. That energy that claimed them at the hospital hung between them.

Once they returned Sara walked along side Nick and the horse while he brought the creature back to the barn where they fed the creature some oats and carrots and filled the manger with fresh water.

They watched the horse eat away peacefully. Nick could see that emotionally the horse was returning having made a connection to someone. Him.

Now if only he could be that lucky and damn it was hard (no pun intended) when someone beside was taken.

It had been months since he'd been intimate with a woman, touched a woman; tasted a woman and he was like a man in a desert desperate for an oasis.

Nick could hear Regine singing that Radiohead song again thinking about the line about going to hell for dirty thinking. She had sung that line winking at him from the stage even though the song was a somber one. Lee had caught that wink and shook his head at his bandmate-and gave Nick a warning look about distracting the singer!

Now he was alone here with Sara and then he thought about that kiss and how it awoken him or at least part of him and how wished he could feel that alive again and wondered when the hell he would.

Sara whispered, "God she's a beautiful creature Nick, you've done well with her."

"Had some help from a friend."

"Girlfriend?" She said brightening at the idea.

"Lesbian friend."

Sara stared pointedly at him and then giggled, "Well, at least you're mingling with women Nick."

"Don't you start," Nick groaned, "Iris is trying to introduce me to women all the time."

"I like her, she's a dynamo!"

Nick guffawed, "Yeah and a damn pain the ass at times!"

"Well, she's good for you Nick, she's got your day structured and at this point you need it!" Sara said playing Dr. Phil at the moment.

"I need a lot of things," He looked at her and the tension was there again.

Sara stared up him and the sight of his haunted brown eyes filled her heart with longing, even in grief Nick was one hell of a sexy man.

She looked around and noticed that he had closed the barn door before turning to face him, kissing him softly on the lips again and then jumped back nervously awaiting his response.

To her surprise Nick slid one arm around her waist and pulled her to him and continued. This time his lips felt hot on hers as his tongue snaked in. His hand dove under the shirt while his lips then traveled down the side of Sara's face. Sucking on her neck before trailing along to her collar bone while she shivered at the feel of his lips on her neck, tears springing to her eyes woefully wanting this and not wanting this at the same time.

Once again he stopped and looked at her asking her if she was okay with this. She nodded feeling tears going down her face because if there was thing Sara could do for her friend was make him feel alive again and she could live with whatever consequences came with it.

Nick had moved her onto a pile of hay near Trinity's stall where they laid down and continued kissing fervently, urgently.

"I'm sorry," He whispered as he undid her jeans and slowly slid them off.

"For what?" She smiled.

"For this. I don't know if this is the right thing, but I need you right now." His voice choking each word.

"I know you do." She lifted her ass off and started to slide down her pink bikinis with his help assuring him she was taking precautions, "And I need this too Nick."

He lay back down beside and his hands slid into her thighs, his fingers probing her, rubbing the sweet spot while her hand slid under his t-shirt tracing his chest, teasing his nipples with the tip of her index finger, before sliding slowly down and into his pants, marveling at what was there.

She could feel herself getting warm where his fingers were rubbing.

And God was he good! Sara loved the way Nick then slid his whole hand into her thrusting forcefully, filling her up, forming his hand into a fist. She had spread her legs wide for him and closed her eyes while her body trembled and tingled, then to her delight the hand was replaced by his tongue which he applied tentatively and her mewl encouraged him to go on, so he did with slow, long strokes enjoying the musky smell of her.

Nick was mixed bag of emotions, longing, lust, guilt and more guilt. Sensing that Regine would be hurt by this happening so soon after her death as she had not been with anyone for years after her husband died, but he also knew if it had to be anyone, Sara was good choice.

And this was his boss's girlfriend-a fact not lost on him even in this moment.

Her conscious was protesting every moment of this, but Sara fought back by telling herself over and over that he needed this, that it would be his first and momentous step towards moving on and morality be damned if this was going to be what it took.

Sara's soft cry indicated he had succeeded in her reaching the first orgasm. He looked up at her, his erection straining his jeans aching as he whispered for her to sit so he could take off her shirt. As soon it was off, he went to work on her bra which he unclasped from the front, her champagne glass sized breasts waited for him as Nick pushed her back onto the hay and sucked the nipples one at a time gently while she ran her hands through his hair.

Emotions ran high at that moment, guilt hung in the air along with bliss and happiness and relief from both that this itch was going to be scratched to hell.

Nick used his tongue to bring the nipples to life and they perked up beautifully. His hands had made a beeline south and were back at work trying to bring about another orgasm using both his tongue on her breasts and his hand in its previous location, but then Sara made a very important point to him.

"Hey," She growled pulling at his shirt, "I don't think this is fair. You're still fully clothed."

Nick smiled at her and made an immediate cease and desist..

Naked she pulled herself into a kneeling position and pulled off his shirt, never taking her eyes off his as she then gently pushed him onto his back to get to work on the jeans. Undoing that god-awful belt she hated, then with one swift motion she pulled the entire bottom half of his attire off, tossing them aside, kneeling down and taking him into her mouth.

Rubbing his hands over his face and perching himself on his elbows because he was bowled over by this woman's technique. Regine had only begun to become an expert in all things oral thanks to his teaching of how he liked it, but with Sara there was no need to explain anything, she knew exactly what he liked, knew to run her tongue along the vein, roll her tongue around the head. A litany of praise and encouragement spilled from his lips as gripped for something and came up with the damn hay!

The damn hay was scratching at his back and ass, but it not once did it deter him pushing upwards and encouraging her to take him deeper. He was turning into putty at this moment and not once concerned himself about anyone walking in on them.

"Oh man, I'm gonna.." He finally blurted.

"Oh no you don't," She ordered looking up, abruptly stopping what she was doing not caring about a small moan of protest that escaped his lips. There was no way in hell he would ejaculate with out letting her feel him inside, she was not taking that risk.

Nick sat up abruptly and flipped Sara onto her back, lifting her legs over his shoulder and entering her and frantically thrusting away noticing how soaking wet she was, the smell greeting him like fresh bread from a bakery.

'This is what its like,' She thought as she surrendered herself to him again and again feeling him inside of her, his animal thrusts almost lifting her off the hay-strewn floor causing her to grab onto his shoulders to hold on and not hit her on the damn wall behind them and noticing the obvious difference in size from her regular partner-who was damn good for a man of his age-but she could see why Regine had once whispered to Catherine in confidence while at a Christmas Party that there were days she could hardly walk. Sara had winced at that moment of Too Much Information.

Surprisingly, Nick was quiet lover dispelling her theory about southern men treating sex like a rodeo with hee haws, hooeys with each thrust. The only sounds coming from him were small grunts, groans and occasional gasps. She marveled at his intensity and his focus-the same kind of focus he had when he was examining evidence from a crime scene. Sara had joked once that a bomb go could off beside Nick and he'd still be looking at a slide through a microscope or examining contents from a vacuum bag.

As he laid flat on her, his body trembled against hers and she held him even tighter, whispering encouraging words into his ear along with some naughty ones, her hands moving down his back and clenching his ass cheeks emitting a small laugh out of him that sounded heavenly in her ear. Sara never wanted this to end because that would mean life would have go back to what she knew of as normal and it pained her.

A pang of guilt and pain hit her because she knew what she was doing was wrong, but yet it felt so right. The waves of pleasure washing over and over she again as they lay flushed with one another, caressing and touching areas hard at work.. The smell of sweat, sex and hay filled their nostrils and it was sheer heaven.

As for Nick, his empty world that he'd grown used had momentarily released him. He was one parole so to speak. Happiness was an emotion that he had forgotten about and longed abandoned him.

He whispered to her that he wanted to take her from behind and she agreed and as he did, he brought his fingers to the other and teased her.

Sara gasped as this was something she'd never experienced. Jolts shot through her and he wondered if this was something he'd done with Regine.

As a matter of fact, it was. Nick went back to a moment where he had done this with his wife, only a toy was involved that time.

Wanting the memory to stop infiltrating this entirely separate moment, Nick rolled Sara onto her back and entered her again. She didn't deserve an intrusive memory on his part, this was their moment-separate form anything else.

Sara enjoyed the youth and vigor of Nick's lean body. She felt like the nerdy girl in high school who just bagged the hottest guy. It was a victorious feeling-a total revenge of the nerd.

Her muscles were contracting around him and she gripped his back, digging her fingers into his shoulders and rode the roller coaster that took her almost he sky, suspended her there and slowly down again.

Now she could sense was he coming as he picked up the pace and floored her body and Sara encouraged him softly that it was okay to let go and he cried loudly into her ear-the sound sending shivers down her spine. His voice almost at a falsetto as Nick's voice did when he expressed any kind of emotion whether it be anger, grief, pain. In the years she worked with this man, she'd scene him in all cycles of emotion and it dawned on her as she felt him come inside her as he made last thrust before coming to a stop, and the feel of his body quivering was blissful and she wished they could stay this way for eons. His head had collapsed on her chest and she lovingly caressed hair and murmured praise to him.

Although this moment may never lead to anything, one thing she was sure of it would definitely cement their friendship. This wasn't a teenage scenario where the friendship ended because they had become intimate. There were no expectations here, simply a need explored, tended to and relieved.

They had become oblivious to time, but through the window over Trinity's stall she could tell night had arrived and she would soon have to maker her to work. Thankfully, Grissom was out of town at a convention so she would have some time to process this surprising moment.

Nick's breathing had finally steadied and he worked up the courage to look at her and the sight of his face surprised her as tears were brimming and slipping out of his eyes.

She brought a finger up to his face and gently touched them and asked, "So was it that bad?"

He laughed and wiped them embarrassed, "NO! Not at all, I guess I'm just a bit. I don't know..freaked about this."

Sara smirked, "I guess that's one way of putting it. Don't be embarrassed Nick, we've all seen you cry!"

"No shit!" He groaned wishing he could put crazy clue in the faucets of his eyes. Everyone at the Lab knew him as the 'emotional one'.

"Some of us at the Lab find it very sexy!" Sara grinned trying to find any subject matter to deter them from the moment.

"Yeah, and it's also used against me remember!" Nick said to her.

"Oh well don't worry about it. I like it." Sara said with a sexy smile.

Their expressions took on a somber tone and at the same time both asked, "Are you sorry?"

Nick looked at Sara's face, studying it as she awaited his answer and he could tell by her mixed expression that she felt both happy and guilty. She wasn't the kind of girl that cheated on a guy.

"I..uh..don't know Nick." She answered honestly and she could see that his expression mirrored hers-guilt, yet bliss, "But I know..I really, really enjoyed it."

"Yeah," Nick nodded, "I needed this. I feel like a selfish fucker for that, but I did."

"Don't." She told him, "Whatever you're feeling just…don't feel it. I'll feel it for both us okay. You've dealt with enough pain to last ten lifetimes and so let this one by mine and mine entirely got it!"

She watched the wheels churn in his head and although knowing Nick that request was not one that would be easy to honour, but he reluctantly agreed.

Then Sara ran a tongue along dry lips and asked, "So whatever happened to your stance about not dating anyone at work?"

"I'm not dating you, so this didn't count."

"Ohh!" She smirked at him, "Then I guess in this case it didn't count."

Nick laughed and again was somber, "Thank you for this. I know..I know that it doesn't change anything with Grissom."

That name hung in the air filling it with dread.

"I love him Nick." She was straight with him, he deserved that.

"I know," He said as he slowly and regretfully moved off her body and reached for his clothes, passing her bra over as he found his boxers still inside his jeans and lazily put both on at the same time.

They were quiet as they reluctantly dressed. Sara taking one last opportunity to admire Nick's assets so to speak as he had his back turned to her, occasionally turning to peek at her own goodies since it would probably be the last time he ever did.

"Here," He said as he walked behind her and pulled the golden strands off.

Finally she faced him with a sad and brave smile. Nick returned the smile with a forced one of his own not wanting her to know how sad he was that the happiness he felt a moment ago would probably not be one he'd feel again for awhile.

Sara glanced at her watch and said, "Well, I, uh, need to get to my shift. You're off tonight right?" Stifling a giggle by the pun of 'off'.

Nick ran a hand over his mouth and nodded going along with the simple conversation to help normalize things between them.

"Yeah. I'll back on Friday."

"Great!" She answered with a fake brightness, "You and Trinity can hang out."

Nick looked at the horse who was looking rather sleepy.

"Well I got a meeting with the Board at the Humane Society, but yeah I'm gonna keep going with this little project." He focused his attention on Trinity to try and ground himself back so that he would not feel that pit of sadness come back.

Sara stepped towards him and gave him a quick hug wanting to quickly make the departure as painless as possible for both of them.

It didn't work. Nick held her to him tightly and Sara then started to cry into his shoulder, his sobs soon following hers.

They remained that way for a while, neither saying anything because nothing needed to be said. Nick was feeling a fresh loss compounding with the obvious and Sara was joining him this time because this relationship was not meant to be anything more then it was.

Sara hoped and prayed that Nick would find that kind of love he had with Regine soon. He was one of a kind and she knew Regine would not tolerate him being alone. Silently, Sara asked her to not let that happen and to lead Nick to that woman soon.

"You. Are so awesome Nick!" She gasped in between sobs, "Anyone who winds up with you is going to be the luckiest woman alive..you know that.."

"Yeah," Nick croaked, "If she stays alive…first Kristy then Regine.."

Sara pulled away and glared at him, "Don't you dare think that way Nick. It had nothing to do with you, neither of their deaths had anything to do with you.."

"You're not blaming the victims are you!" He said hands on hips readying for a debate.

"Oh god no!" Sara explained, "They were in high risk situations Nick. Kristy by profession, but Regine was standing up for her beliefs and standing up to a complete psychopath-she was one hell of a brave woman Nick. I really admired her for it."

Nick looked away fighting back those damn tears before saying, "So I should stick with safe women, like librarians or teachers or something.."

Sara laughed, "No, I'm saying try not to blame yourself for their deaths. It's not you at all."

Nick pressed his lips and together and then formed a smile, "Thanks Sara."

She hugged him once more, "And you, you always have me as your friend and guidance counselor and I promise never, ever to pass such harsh judgment on anyone who comes into your life, I just want you to be happy!"

Emotions spent, Sara broke the embrace and quickly kissed him good bye and small peck. Racing out of the barn door, moving aside for a beautiful, gold-coloured dog that was smaller then a Golden Retriever wiggle its fat little body into the barn.

She cried as she walked to her car, hating herself for leaving him like that although thankfully it looked as if that chubby dog was going to at least be there.

Gripping the stall Nick took deep breaths trying to reign himself in and felt warmth against his knee and looked down at Ranger's concerned eyes and smiled.

"Wanna go sit in my truck?" He asked the dog, tears streaming down his face, "We can listen to mommy sing for a while right?" Nick went over to a small, plastic cooler and pulled out a Stella Artois-Regine's favourite beer that she swore was named after one of Maria's brown tabbies.

The dog barked in agreement at him and followed Nick to the truck.

Papillion followed them as the Texan crawled in, turned on the vehicle and pressed play.

Then he laughed at the irony of the next tune. What was Greg thinking when he made this damn CD for him?

Stamping, clapping and heavy rhythmic guitar playing followed by Regine singing the Johnny Cash version of 'God's Gonna Cut You Down':

_You can run on for a long time,  
Run on for a long time,  
Run on for a long time,  
Sooner, or later, God'll cut you down._

Hoots and hollers of 'Yeah girl you tell em!" by Iris and the local Priest who'd come to visit and he could even hear Warrick cheering at her as the band played on with Regine singing in a deep husky voice,

_You can throw your rock, hide your hand,  
Workin in the dark against your fellow man.  
But as sure as God made black and white,  
What's done in the dark,  
Will be brought to the light._

Nick wondered if some spiritual being had made it so this song would come on right after Sara left. Had Regine come down and played this tune as a warning to him.

After all, he still sensed every so often. Whenever he was down at the humane society at a meeting, sensing what she would want done with the funds.

He felt her presence with him when he worked with Trinity. Tomorrow he would try and saddle the horse and when that was accomplished, he would the beautiful horse would make a full recovery, wounds still in its soul. But that's how it is when you've been traumatized.

And so often he thought about Blainey, he tried not to, but on that subject, he felt no regret because there was part of him that wondered if Regine had even been there that night because what else made him take notice of the blade even in the moment where he'd been again traumatized by another horror to his life.

He had to kill Blainey to save Grissom.

And then guilt took over his soul and the meaning of the Johnny Cash song was made clear, God was gonna cut him down at some point for tonight. Regine had talked about Karma being a bitch and this would at some point come back and haunt him despite Sara's reassurances, the guilt would follow him around like the rest of the crap that did.

But fuck it for now, he'd cross that bridge when he'd come to it because one thing Nick knew for sure is that he couldn't control everything that happened around him, nor could he change the past and the consequences of decisions he'd made.

Never would he regret any moment he had with Regine because all the pain came with her not once overshadowed the joy she had brought into his life.

Then he sighed and rubbed Ranger's head listening to the shouts and claps as everyone joined in while Regine sang,

_  
You can run on for a long time,  
Run on for a long time,  
Run on for a long time,  
Sooner, or later, God'll cut you down.  
Sooner, or later, Gödel cut you down.  
_

And now Nick was slouched in his truck, the seat pulled back and his feet on the dashboard himself singing along,

_  
Go and tell that long tongue liar,  
Go and tell that midnight rider,  
Tell the rambler, the gambler, the back biter,  
Tell 'me that God's gonna cut 'me down_.

And in the even he was applauding to the CD along with the crowds and smiling. The beer now settling in and easing some of the pain of the last hour he spent with Sara.

Nick could still smell her on him. Her musky scent mixed with the hay. He wasn't sure how he'd face her on the next shift, but he knew he could and she would too.

This wasn't the worst thing he'd ever done, but while he regretted hurting his boss, he didn't regret the sex. He felt alive again, and ready to move forward as Regine would want him to. Maybe she was warning him for future trysts. Who knows?

Papillion crawled on his lap allowing Nick to rub his head. The dog who once hated him now regarded him as their pack leader, although Regine had been working with the little dog's hostility towards Nick taking some advice from Dog Whisperer guy whom she met at a convention years ago and kept in touch.

"_He's gay!" Nick told her._

"_He's married nitwit!!" She laughed._

"_Oh.."_

Laughing at the memory, Nick took a swig of beer and listened as Regine thanked everyone for coming out tonight, then pulled out the CD and decided to spend the next few minutes in sheer silence.

"I'm gonna miss you babe!" The Texan said and looked up at the stars and silently thanked her for giving him the happiest 18 months of his life. A life filled with more love and laugher then he ever imagined.

Her murder was solved, those who were involved were probably going to be in prison for a long time and her killer long dead.

Would Nick ever find peace within himself? Probably not, but after tonight he was now willing to take the first step towards it.

And with that he silently thanked the woman who helped him with that first step.

Maybe God would cut him down for what they had done and the hurt that Grissom would soon feel once he found out and as the song says, 'what's done in the dark will be brought in the light', but he'd survive whatever may come because that's what life was about for him.

Nick accepted whatever fate held for him as he guzzled down the last bit of Stella Artois and then motioned for the dogs to follow him as he got out of the truck and locked it and then headed back to the house.

Tomorrow was, after all, another day and for the first time in months, he looked forward to it.

And amen to that.

Finis


End file.
